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    How to perfect a practice to make practice perfect

     

    : A few practical tips worth revisiting are: ** Be prepared and know exactly what it is you want from this meeting; ** Thoroughly research the company you’re going to be dealing with; ** Choose an outfit appropriate for the meeting – if unsure ask your friends (asking your mother may cause greater anxiety than you first started with); ** Know exactly where and when the meeting will be and who will be there; ** Meditate before you leave for your meeting – it’s important to be in a centred and calm frame of mind; and ** Arrive with plenty of time to spare. Something which has helped me be prepared for just about anything is practising an imaginery meeting and watching myself interacting with others starting from the moment when I arrive at the Reception counter. I run through this imaginery meeting until the end when I say my farewell. By doing this, not only do I become familiar with the meeting, it also gives me greater confidence and self awareness as well as produce a successful result. If you’ve never considered rehearsing before the following exercise may be worthy of consideration. You can start this step by step process by first: ** Writing down at least 10 possible questions that may be asked of you. Answer each question in detail, adding any variations that come to mind. Putting aside for now the end result , practice using your five senses (hear, taste, see, smell, feel) and your mind’s eye to imagine in full detail how this meeting will unfold, starting from the very beginning to the end. Imagine and experience this meeting fully in the present tense, in other words, be there now. Experience and imagine: ** How relaxed and confident you are; ** What you’re wearing; ** Your arrival at the nominated venue, and how you are greeted at the Reception counter; ** What you will be taking with you into the meeting (clipboard, briefcase etc); ** The venue setting; ** Greeting the other person, the tone of your voice and theirs (imagine how strong and confident it is); ** Sitting in your seat; ** Where the other person is sitting, their posture and facial expression; ** How you sit and they sit; how you hold your body, where you place your bag, briefcase or other item; ** Notice your facial features and theirs; ** Notice also the rapport between you, notice any smiling and hear the sound of laughter; ** See and hear yourself responding to their questions in full detail; ** The smell of the room, perfume, street smells, and the taste in your mouth; and ** Anything else you notice or would like to add. ** At the close of the meeting observe your farewell, what you say, how you say it, your facial features and body movements. Rerun the meeting differently several times and include different verbal exchanges, further tweak what needs tweaking. It’s not about perfecting one scene over and over, it’s about providing a combination of possibilities that will help you be even more prepared. For example, visualise the other person looking perplexed by what you’re saying, communicate differently and notice what happens. See and hear this exchange in full detail. Rerun as often as you need to until you get the result you want. For added measure, you could also rehearse your meeting by placing two chairs at a table for yourself and the other person. Sit down in one of the chairs and imagine you’re speaking to the person sitting opposite. Become aware of how you sit, your breathing rate, clarity of voice and rapport. When you’ve finished speaking, move into second position (the other seat) and communicate what you believe that person will say, how they’ll respond, what you anticipate their body movements to be and volume, speed and tone of voice. As a final practice technique dress for success and speak to your reflection in a mirror. Practice various verbal exchanges with the other person. Watch and notice your facial expressions, body movements including breathing rate as well as using different postures, expressions and questions and answers. Have fun and tweak what needs tweaking… With some practical self coaching and mental rehearsal life can become that much more easier, comfortable and provide greater confidence, awareness and more successful results. Michaela Scherr Transformational Coach and Intuitive

         
    How to promote your coaching business online

     

    Many of my coaching clients are coaches themselves, and quite a few of them have asked me how to promote their coaching business online. Here is some of the information I have shared with them. Use these tips and ideas to promote your own coaching practice online, get more clients and make more money: - Have a Professional Web Site. In order to attract online clients, you need to present a very professional image online. People who find your web site will equate the professional look and feel of the web site to your own professionalism, since the web site is the only piece of information they have to evaluate your business. The web site should have professional look and feel and have information about your business, as well as your products and services. There should be a way for customers to contact you, as well as subscribe to your newsletter. - Explain What You Do on Your Web Site. Not everyone knows what a coach is, so in addition to calling yourself a coach, make sure you explain what a coach does. For example, if you are a dating coach, explain that you help men and women find that one perfect person. If you are a career coach, tell your web site visitors that you help them figure out the perfect career, and then you help them find a job that reflects their career choice. And if you are a business coach, tell them how you can help their business succeed. - Publish a Newsletter. Not everyone who comes to your web site will immediately become a coaching client. Not everyone who comes to your web site will buy your products immediately. You need means to keep in touch with people who come to your web site, but are not ready to hire you or purchase your products. A newsletter is a great tool to keep in touch with your web site visitors, share information with them and educate them about your products and services. Make sure that you have a newsletter subscribe form on every page of your web site, and that you offer a compelling reason for your web site visitors to subscribe to it. - Optimize Your Web Site for Search Engines. Search engine optimization is the process of modifying web page content and meta-information to improve the search engine ranking of the page. Successful search engine optimization will greatly increase the number of visitors that come to your web site since over 70% of people who are looking for products and services use search engines to locate them. - Publish Your Articles Online. Publishing articles is a great way to show off your coaching expertise, as well to drive traffic to your web site. When you write and publish your articles, other web site owners pick them up and publish them on their web sites, while giving you a link back to your web site. Use the five techniques we outline above to drive targeted clients to your coaching practice. Effective promotion of your coaching practice online will make a difference between your coaching web site sitting idly and a coaching web site that drives leads and clients for your business every single day.

         
    How to teach your wife to use firearms

     

    I have to say I started all wrong. On my first real date with my wife, I took her out to go shooting. Now my wife did not know where we were going and had not really seen me since I had left for the Marines. We dated a few times in high school but never really hit it off. Imagine how she felt when I surprised her by pulling into the local gravel pit and pulling out a trunk full of guns, literally! She took it pretty well, especially how I kept giving her new guns to shoot with many “tips” on why she was not hitting anything and amazingly enough, we later married. I took some courses to learn how to teach and not just shoot. Unfortunately, my wife was still not very comfortable with me having or carrying guns. It was not until an incident at the local Wal-Mart, where my wife felt we were being followed by a guy that had paid just a little too much attention to our kid that she started to think maybe carrying guns wasn’t such a bad idea. I convinced her to give me another chance at the range, and we tried again. This time I looked at it from a new perspective, and not only did my wife do well, she actually enjoyed her time on the range. From this experience, I have created a set of guidelines to use when teaching someone how to shoot. 1.Do not pressure her. This is not boot camp; you will find that high-pressure tactics are counterproductive. Trying to pressure your wife to do something she does not want to do will only ensure she will never accept it. 2.Have the appropriate safety gear. Having eye and ear protection ready and explaining their use will help allay any fears. Also, before the firearms are introduced, go over the four basic firearm safety rules: a. Every handgun is loaded, even if it is disassembled. b. Never point your handgun at anything you do not intend to destroy. c. Keep your handgun on safe until you are ready to fire. d. Keep your finger straight and off the trigger until you are ready to fire. 3.Start with a simple, small caliber firearm. Explain and show the basic operating principles of the firearm you use. For teaching long guns, I like either a .22 semi auto like a Ruger 10/22, or a single shot break action .410. If I am teaching pistol use I prefer a .22 or a .38 revolver. Make sure that if you start with a magazine fed firearm, you keep a ready supply of loaded magazines. 4.Do not use humanoid targets. If it’s an outdoor range and we are using long guns, I like stale cookies. They break in a satisfying way and are biodegradable. For pistols, a regular target turned around with a paper plate stapled to the center gives a large non-threatening target. 5.Last but not least, go slow. Answer any questions simply without going into a long technological lecture. The point of the first few sessions is to allay fears and allow your wife to become accustomed to shooting. You will find, as I have, if you make her feel secure, allow her to go at her own pace and do not pressure her, she will rapidly begin to enjoy this sport. My wife took to shooting like a natural, and now she gets better range scores than I do. She is also slowly getting involved into the gun culture, working on becoming an instructor, and reading and subscribing to firearm magazines. When this started, I was all for it. When my wife started telling me which guns she wanted all for her own, I was ecstatic. There are drawbacks to involving your wife into your hobby. The last four guns we bought are hers, so is the last range bag and all the ammo. I have half of an AR-15 in the closet that I have never been able to finish because as soon as I get ready to buy my last set of parts, somebody comes out with a “pretty” gun…

         
    How to thrive in a foreign environment

     

    Many people really love the thought of taking the chance and living in a foreign country. It sounds so dreamy and romantic. But the reality for many expats is that very shortly after arrival in their new home, they find that there are often harsh realities to face about living abroad. Dreamy visions of spending the days picking tropical fruits, lazing on the beach, growing a lush garden and leisurely wandering through the market places can be replaced with realities such as no hot water, dirt roads, electricity shortages, no English or very little among many other factors. Ones' hopes of getting online as soon as you arrive could be quickly dashed. How frustrating it is when you pop down to the local store for some needed necessities and you are met with a sign that reads, "Open Mon, Wed and Fri". The fact is that daily life abroad can be quite tough initially. Stress can take its charge both physically and emotionally. Yes, this may sound quite depressing, but don't let it get you down. If you have your "toolbox" packed, the living abroad experience can be the best time of your life. In fact it could change your life as a whole for the better. The key to this outcome is finding a way to manage your day-to-day life. As an expatriate you need to find ways to free yourself of the difficulties you will inevitably encounter and thrive no matter what the conditions or perceived obstacles are. The "toolbox" carries the following concepts which when applied will help to make your living abroad experience an adventure and not a disaster. * Adjust: Firstly we need to learn how to adjust. Adapt yourself to your new surroundings and the new way of life. Discover the culture for yourself. Accustom, reconcile and reorganize your life to fit in with your new surroundings. * Flexible: Always be flexible. Different countries perform functions and activities in different ways and at a different pace. Flexibility and understanding will save you a lot of stress and you will get along so much better. * Observe: Pay attention and observe! This is crucial to making it in a new land. Read up and become knowledgeable on your subject. Cultural books and tourist guides very often hold important information on a new culture, but I have to say that some of the best ways to learn are by observing firsthand. Watch how people greet one another. Make note of what is considered as appropriate behavior and what is not. This applies to language too. Keep your eyes open at all times. * Attitude: Be part of the solution and not part of the problem. Find ways to do things. Have a positive and active attitude. I believe that attitude accounts for the success or failure of most things in life, including living abroad. Attitude will make the difference between a happy or disgruntled expat. * Experience: Find ways to get involved. Do not be an observer of your experience. Be the experience! Take full advantage of all the new and wonderful activities and opportunities to learn new things. Try the new foods, go exploring, sign up for Spanish classes or join the taekwondo club. * Support: Find people who are in a similar situation to you. Form a group and support each other. Once the honeymoon phase and excitement of moving to a new country passes and the realities of living abroad set in you will need people who you can count on to help you make this a truly memorable experience. Quote of the week "Success is simple. Do what's right, the right way, at the right time." Arnold H. Glasgow. Powerful action plan for the week How would your life be different if you applied the concepts of the toolbox to your to your life everyday? Try it for one week and make note of the outcome.

         
    How well do you speak

     

    : Publishing Guidelines: You are welcome to publish this article in its entirety, electronically, or in print fre*e of charge, as long as you include my full signature file for ezines, and my Web site address( schrift) in hyperlink for other sites. Please send a courtesy link or email where you publish to [email protected] Thank you. ___________________________________________________________ TITLE: How Well Do You Speak? AUTHOR: Sandra Schrift CONTACT: [email protected] Format: 60 Characters per line Article URL: schrift/article_40.htm Article Autoresponder: [email protected] ___________________________________________________________

    How Well Do You Speak?

    Public speaking is the number one way to advance your career or your business. When you are a good speaker, you can close a sale, sell your point of view, and increase your productivity as a business professional. Here are 10 tips to get you started. 1. The key to being a good speaker is to appear credible and knowledgeable about your subject. Be perceived as an expert on your topic. If you don’t do this the audience will not listen well and you will not be correctly interpreted. 2. Should you begin your speech with a joke or humorous story? No, to the joke. Yes, to the funny story. Begin with a humorous story that relates to your speech material. This is a great way to connect with your audience. 3. Control your nerves before you begin. Visualize your success. (the audience wants you to succeed.) Take some deep breaths to bring about calm. If you are speaking in a cold, snowy location, then arrive early and walk the halls for about 5 minutes. 4. Your job is to take care of these four items:     • hold the audience attention     • make a favorable impression     • know what to do with your hands     • answer questions from the audience at the end of your speech (if you don’t know and answer, say, “I don’t know, but I’ll get the information to you later.”) 5. Make eye contact. Look at one person long enough to deliver one complete thought, then move to another person and do the same. When you do this, everyone in the audience will feel that you are speaking to them also. 6. Why are visual aids important to enhance your message? Well, they jazz up your message and most importantly they increase the audience retention of your point(s). Most of us delineate our thoughts visually. So your audience needs to see as well as hear. 7. Don’t make these mistakes.     • forgetting to check the audio-visual equipment in advance of your speech     • not demonstrating “enthusiasm” in your voice     • projecting your voice too forcefully     • forgetting to provide your program chair with your introduction 8. Rehearse! Rehearse! Rehearse! All good speakers prepare their presentation and then rehearse it for their friends, colleagues, spouse/partner, in front of your bathroom mirror and even videotape themselves for playback. I even line up stuffed animals (borrowed from my grandchildren) on chairs and create an imaginary “furry” audience. 9. Listen to good speakers, and then become one! All speakers do not sound alike. So hear a variety of styles. Do you want to be a Tony Robbins, Dennis Waitley, Ronald Reagan, George Bush, or Colin Powell? Get some ideas and then work on your OWN style. Include remarks that reach all the styles in your audience. Express yourself so that people can get auditory, visual and kinesthetic messages. 10. Why should you become an accomplished speaker? It will make you more self-confident. You will become more persuasive. You will be more dynamic in your delivery style. You don’t need to do this alone. I coach speakers who want masterful presentations and am here to help you. too. Email me at [email protected] and be sure to visit my website for more tips at schrift/tips. htm COPYRIGHT: ©2005 by Sandra Schrift. All rights reserved

         
    Important life coaching advice for children

     

    I have just returned from my twelve year old step-daughters parents evening. It was an interesting hour and I believe my daughter has learnt quite a lot from the experience. The teachers gave her some important life coaching advice which I will write about in this article. My step-daughters name is Taryn and she is basically a very bright and well behaved child. One of her faults however is that she just does enough, she is not naughty at school but does not give one hundred percent to her studies. Before we attended the parents evening we had the opportunity to read her school report. Taryn thought this report was very good as she was above average in her year, this was certainly borne out in her recent examination results. What annoyed both me and her mother was the regular comments that Taryn does not ask enough questions, that she does not contribute enough in classroom discussions and that her homework seems rushed. We were also aware that even though the exam results were good, that they could have been even better as she did not do any revision. We told her that even though she was above average that we were not happy with some of the comments made which suggested that she could and should have done even better. Taryn was not happy by this and had quite a big strop thinking that we were just being cruel. Taryn loves to play sport and has been a regular in the netball and athletic teams. The first teacher she took us to see was her sports teacher who Taryn assumed would be very happy with her. This teacher first asked how we as her parents thought Taryn was getting on, in general at school. We voiced our concerns and the teacher agreed as she had read the whole report and was also not that pleased with it. She looked at Taryn and told her that in sport she always gave one hundred percent and asked her why she did not have the same attitude in Maths and English. Taryn did not know what to say and seemed quite shocked. The teacher stated that even though sport is important, the other subjects should come first and that if she did not see a marked improvement over the next few months, that she would drop her from the netball and athletics team. Next was the English teacher. He told all of us that Taryn was very clever but that she needed to take more of a pride in her work. She needs to check what she has completed before she hands it in, as the only real errors she makes are just silly mistakes. He believed that even though Taryn was in the top thirty percent that she should be in the top ten percent. All of the teachers we met gave Taryn the same message. Do not accept second best, always give one hundred percent, spend less time on the computer and more time reading and revising. By the end of the evening poor old Taryn looked shell shocked. She now understands what to do and certainly does not want to be kicked out of the sports teams. I was more than pleased with the schools attitude and believe that Taryn has been given some important life coaching advice.

         
    Improve your memory with these simple tips

     

    1) When you need to remember something important, find a way to create an image about it in your mind that is very funny or bizarre. Your brain easily remembers things that are unusual, or funny or scary, while it easily forgets things that don’t stand out in any way. 2) Make written lists of what you need to do or to remember. This will free up your brain to remember other things that are more important. 3) Be sure to get enough sleep. Your brain uses its sleeping hours to put new information into long term memory storage. 4) To remember a long string of letters or numbers such as a telephone number, break the information up into small chunks of two or three numbers or letters at a time, such as 555 – 216 - 9827. Most people will find it very hard to remember 9 or 10 numbers in a row, but they can easily remember two or three numbers in a row. 5) When you need to learn and remember something, give yourself time to review the same material the next day for a few minutes and then a week later for a few minutes. Repetition and review will help your brain remember the material better. 6) When you are studying a lot of material, schedule a break every forty minutes to get up and walk and do something completely different. When you sit down to study again, your brain will be more refreshed and better able to pay attention. 7) When you are trying to study something, give yourself plenty of time to understand it and review it several times. Cramming at the last minute doesn’t work very well. 8) Give your brain a good workout by practicing memorization as a fun exercise. Every few days, pick a new poem or favorite passage to memorize, and then write it out or speak it out loud. 9) Reduce the stress in your life by simplifying your schedule, delegating more tasks to others, getting regular physical exercise and practicing daily meditation. Long term stress can interfere with your ability to concentrate and to think clearly, and with your ability to form memories or to recall them later. 10) Get yourself a study buddy or a conversation partner, and try teach the other person what you are learning. This is a good way to signal your brain that what you are learning is important and you will remember more.

         
    Information about speech therapy courses

     

    My name is Stephen Hill. I am thirty-two years of age and live in Birmingham, England. From the age of four I unfortunately had a speech impediment known as stuttering. This impediment basically ruined my life for eighteen years before I finally managed to overcome the stutter. This article is all about stuttering or as some people call it stammering. Stammering or stuttering can have a dramatic effect on somebodys confidence and it certainly seemed to my crush mine. It made me accept second best in life and stopped me living my life as I wanted to. It is extremely difficult for a fluent person to comprehend how hard it is to live your life with a speech impediment or stutter. I now run one to one speech courses which are held in Birmingham. A couple of years ago one of my clients told me about a situation he had been involved in. He and his friends went to a bar one Saturday afternoon to have a few drinks. After a couple of pints he went up to the bar to order himself a drink. Unfortunately he could not speak all of the words fluently and the barman accused him of being drunk and refused to serve him. He tried to explain that he was not drunk but had a stutter, however the barman relpied, that's what they all say. He returned to his friends who asked him where his drink was. He told them what had happened, this itself was very embarressing. This is a typical situation people who have a stutter or stammer find themselves in.

         
    Is your life a do it yourself project

     

    We all know life is full of choices. The most powerful choice you have to make is how you view your life. Choice #1: Life happens, you react Choice #2: You are the director of your life The wonderful thing is that there is no “wrong” choice. Since it’s your life, you decide which is best for you. However, each option produces extremely different results. Perhaps the best approach is not to choose which option you like, but choose the option that has the end result you believe is best for you. End Result of Life Choice #1 – Unknown It’s impossible to determine the outcome here. Why? Because you’re letting everyone and everything else determine your life’s outcome. The one constant is that you will spend your life reacting to events around you. But beware: many who choose this road end up considering themselves a victim of life. It’s easy to spot a Life Choice #1 individual – they are full of excuses and are quick to blame others. Like why they’re late every day to work (“traffic is horrible”), why they have no job (“nobody will hire me”), why they don’t have supportive relationships (“my parents didn’t teach me who to look for”), and in general, why they just can’t seem to get ahead. End Result of Life Choice #2 – Known The outcome here is much better defined because you are in charge. Essentially, your life is a movie, full of main characters, supporting casts, dramatic events, and even a few twists in the plot. The exciting part about Life Choice #2 is that you are also the director in your own life. What do directors do? Edit. Review. Revise. Add comedy, love, action – whatever it is that makes the movie best. It’s easy to spot a person who’s chosen Life Choice #2 - you take responsibility for your actions and accept the consequences, both negative and positive. The end result is that your life is yours. Who’s Your Life Director? You…or everyone else? (Remember that not making a choice is not an option – it’s a passive way of picking Life Choice #1 - letting life happen.) Now is the time to actively take control of your life. What path do you choose?

         
    Joining clubs. do they work for you

     

    Back home I was always a member of the local badminton club and at a time I was a member of the Weight Watcher's Club. Both were very effective in my life. I not only got to play my sport, but it served as a large part of my social life. I met some special lifelong friends there. Weight Watchers also served me very well in that it helped me change my perspective on what a healthy diet and exercise lifestyle meant to me and like the many badminton clubs I supported over the years, Weight Watchers was a place where I met many supporting and like-minded people. I chose to use my positive experiences with clubs when I relocated overseas and got involved with different clubs that suited my interests such as the dance club, the "Learn Korean" club, the singles club, the fitness club and of course last but not least, the badminton club. I have, however found that too often when expats relocate, they tend to shy away from joining clubs. There may be various reasons namely: being overwhelmed by everything that is happening; being fearful of walking into a new club for the first time; not knowing the language; laziness etc. But time and time again in the different countries I have been fortunate enough to work and live, I have found joining clubs to be an excellent way to quickly meet diverse groups of people. Clubs offer so many different facilities ranging from playing fields and organised sporting teams, to squash courts and swimming pools. But as already mentioned, joining clubs are not limited to the sports arena. There are book clubs, expat support clubs, cooking clubs, and chess or scrabble clubs, AA clubs, monthly travel clubs, the Rotary club, Toastmasters, the local Lions club and the list goes on. Many clubs provide food and beverages at good rates and often prepare for special functions such as Halloween, Thanksgiving, Guy Fawkes, birthdays or other special days that are celebrated in your home country. Organising a function yourself at a club is also an easy and cheap option. You could organize a variety of leisure opportunities such as dinners, wine tastings, trivia nights, costume parties, potluck dinners, movie nights, and cultural activities. For couples with children I have found that the majority of clubs are very accommodating and have groups for mothers and their children. They often provide a range of classes and activities starting with ballet or karate classes going all the way through to finger painting afternoons. And then, please do not forget about your local library! No matter the size, the library is very often the very hub of the community. I am so thankful for all those afternoons when I sat at the library emailing family and friends for hours at a time and for free. Libraries are also more often than not, a great source for all kinds of local information. If you look close to home, the companies you work for usually offer a wide range of club activities. Make it your business to find out what is available right at your fingertips. Special rates are always made available to staff members. Joining clubs can be very helpful in making your expat living experience a success. If you think about it, club hopping may be just the thing you need. Action Plan for The Week * Decide which club you want to join. * Find out all the information and details you need to know. * Determine a date by which you will commit to signing up. * Join. * Have fun! Quote For The Week "You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club." Jack London. Three Club Trivia Questions (true or false) * Toastmasters was founded in America. * The motto for the Lions club is "Unity and Strength" * Rotary clubs are presented in over 100 countries in the world. Answers: * True: It was founded in Oct 1924 at the YMCA in Santa Ana, California. * False: "We serve" * True: 167 countries to be specific. ***TRIVIA*** All 3 clubs originated in the USA

         
    Just say i don t know

     

    Why am I writing this? I don't know. I can give reasons, but I can't be sure they are accurate. Such ignorance is okay, or at least it should be. The temptation is always to explain, but that often does nothing useful. In fact, it can just get in the way of actual understanding. Let me explain... Rationalization 101 John was hypnotised, and given the post-hypnotic instruction to get up and put on his coat whenever the doctor touched his nose. Once out of the trance, they talked. During the conversation, the doctor scratched his nose, and John immediately stood up and put on his coat. The doctor asked him why. "Oh, I thought we were finished," John said, and he took off the coat. A minute later, the doctor touched his nose again. John again immediately stood up and put on his coat. "It's getting cold in here," he explained. This scenario is not unique to hypnosis. There's a lot that goes into our decisions and actions, and we act as though we're aware of it all. Just like poor John, we feel compelled to explain ourselves - and to believe our explanations. Rationalization is one of our strongest habits. I Don't Know A child throws a plate at his brother, and his mother demands "Why would you do that!?" He says, "I don't know," which is true, but not acceptable. Pychologists couldn't, in five seconds, understand the child's action with certainty, but a six-year-old is expected to do just that. He may not understand, but he learns quickly to explain himself. By adulthood, it is rare for any of us to say "I don't know" when asked about our behavior. There is a problem with that, though. How can we ever learn the true causes if we already accept our explanations? Accepting Our Ignorance A better way to approach these issues is to get in the habit of saying "I don't know." You can follow it with "Maybe it's because of..." and let the explanations spill out, but don't be too quick to accept any of them. Understand that it isn't always necessary to explain. For example, even if you never know why you avoid a certain person, isn't it better to leave the question open than to accept a false explanation based on a habit of self-justification? Leave questions unanswered, and you may someday have a better understanding. Quick answers mean a quick stop in your thinking. Self-explanation can be the death of self-understanding. Learn to accept your ignorance, and to keep observing yourself. Just say, "I don't know."

         
    Keeping in touch taking emails a step further

     

    There are many reasons why some people never move. This is a topic for later discussion, but for now lets focus on those individuals who do hop from country to country and make new homes in different countries and often on other continents. Are you one of those people whose address seems to be forever changing? Luckily, for us expatriates we live in an era of technology when we do not have to rely on the regular mail any longer. Contact is at the tips of our fingers. E-mailing has become a favorite way of keeping in touch with friends and family for all peoples around the world, and specifically for expats. This tool has made the expat lifestyle so much more convenient, acceptable and viable. Family, friends and clients are just an email away. However, emails are no longer enough. Hearing a voice is comforting and needed. It also puts the issue of distance into perspective. Yes, we may be on the other side of the world, but we are truly only a heartbeat or a phone call away. There is nothing better than surprising friends and family with a phone call just to chat or to wish them on special days. Also, in matter emergencies we need to be able to pick up the phone and make that connection without having to pay the earth for it. Dear expats, we no longer need to worry about the expense of these calls. Can you imagine being able to call someone on the other side of the world and not have to pay for the call, not even a single cent? Believe it or not it is possible. Maybe some of you have heard about Skype and have been too wary to try it. Then again many of you may not have heard of these telephonic services that are readily available to us over the computer. Well, let me inform you that it works, it is cheap and it has changed the level of my communication with people around the world. I use Skype on a daily basis, sometimes three or four times a day. Because of Skype I am in regular phone contact with friends and family, I study internationally and I operate my business on a truly international level. All you need is a computer. In fact you do not even need to have your own personal computer. Once you have an account set up, you can log into any and make your call. You will, however, need a need a fairly good headset and these do not cost an arm and a leg. Go to Skype skype and download the program. It takes an easy 10 minutes. Set up your account and you are ready to make your calls. If the other person also has a Skype account, both parties involved do not pay a penny for the call. However, if you are calling to a regular landline or cell phone number you are charged for the call, but at an extremely low and very acceptable rate. If you want to improve the quality of your communication as an expat, Skype or another such telephonic service, may just be your answer. Why not give it a try? Quote of the week " Communication is a skill that you can learn. It ' s like riding a bicycle or typing. If you ' re willing to work at it, you can rapidly improve the quality of every part of your life. " Brian Tracy Freebie of the week Are you experiencing communication difficulties in any one of the following areas? Your expat surroundings. Your job. Your family. If you would like to improve the quality of your communication in one of these areas, please take advantage of this week's free offer and sign up for a free coaching session. As a coach, I offer you my time and energy as a gift. I will help and support you in finding and putting into practice the tools that will enable you to improve this area of your life. Are you ready to explore?

         
    Learn from the mistakes you make

     

    This article is about learning from the mistakes we make. It goes without saying that we all make errors in life however the most successful people do not let it get them down and try to treat these mistakes as a learning curve. I hope you find the article interesting and beneficial. My parents taught me a lot of things about life and I clearly remember my father sitting me down when I was around fourteen years of age and speaking to me about this subject. He stated that he thought I was a decent person who knew right from wrong, he was however aware that I would make some mistakes. He continued that he would not ask me to come home by a certain point at night and that he would let me make my own choices. If at any point he heard or learnt that I had done something that he thought was wrong or stupid, he would not tell me off but instead he would ask me if I agreed that I had been stupid etc. If I agreed, that would be the end of the matter, the problem would only occur if I then made the same mistake again as that would mean I had not learnt from the experience. He would then in his words, come down on me like a ton of bricks. I agreed that this seemed fair and carried on living my life. I wondered what he had meant by the ton of bricks statement. I did make many mistakes and we had to have our chat on many occasions, I am happy to say that I did learn from my errors and never had to find out what he had meant. I myself now have two children, both of which are fairly young at five and twelve years of age. I have tried to install a similar approach, however have changed it slightly. I have said to them that in life all I expect of them is to try their best. It does not really matter what grades they obtain as long as they put in one hundred percent of effort. They are also aware that I accept that they will be naughty at times and as long as they except what ever punishment is given, then there will be no problem. I am not a harsh parent, a bit of a wimp really and this punishment will normally be them having to tidy their room. I am somebody who loves playing sport. I am very competitive and do not like losing. I have had to accept that at times I will lose, however when I do I always ask myself a question, what could I have done differently today? What could I do differently next time I play to ensure the result is a positive one? I am very grateful to this lesson my parents taught me and hope that in the future my children will be thankful at the way I and their mother have raised them.

         
    Learning how to deal with a bully

     

    Most people at some stage of their lives will become the victim of bullying. People may think that this only occurs at school, however a lot of bullying also occurs in the workplace and even by your local neighbours. This article describes how I have learnt to deal with these nasty people, by playing what I call the nutter card. At school I was an obvious target for a bully. I had a speech impediment known as a stutter or a stammer. I was always struggling with my weight and was larger than most of my other classmates and I was the shortest male in the class. The bullies saw me as easy prey and I was. I was not sure how to handle these people and they made my time in high school quite depressing. I did not tell anybody of the abuse I was receiving and could not wait to leave at the age of sixteen. I have to admit that at this time in my life, I was quite weak and a bit of a wimp. I believed that in the workplace this would not continue to be a problem as I would be working with adults. How wrong could I have been? I was employed in an office environment and one of my duties was to answer the phone and to also make outgoing calls. Having a stuttering problem made this task very difficult for me. I would often travel to work feeling physically sick. There was one main bully who made my life hell, his name was Gary. Gary was one of the most popular people in the office, he was a bit of a rebel and the ladies loved him. He was a big, strong man who loved to play rugby at the weekends. He would often come to work on a Monday morning bragging about how many pints he had downed on his Saturday night out, and about how many women he had slept with. I thought it was all rubbish and that he had probably stayed in with his mom watching the television. Other people worshipped him like some sort of God. Gary constantly took the mickey out of myself and would mimmick my stutter at regular intervals. I tried to not let it bother me, but it did. I let this continue for nearly year and by now I was feeling very depressed and was ready to quit. I then read a book about the subject of bullying and it wrote about something which they called, playing the nutter card. Basically at for example work, you can be who you want to be. Nutters come in all shapes and sizes and if you threaten the bully in a strong enough and convincing manner, they will normally back off, as most bullies are cowards. I decided to be brave and give it a go. I could not physically hurt Gary as he is twice the size of me and twice as powerful. He does not know the people in my circle of friends though, I needed to convince him that they could. On the day when I actually went for it, it had not been planned. I never really believed that I would do it, even though I wanted to. On this particular day however, the abuse was constant and very upsetting. I was really mad and clocked out of work and went to wait by Gary's car, but hidden behind a tree. Gary eventually approached his car and went to unlock the door, as he did I jumped on his back but quickly fell off. He turned round with a shocked look on his face, however was happy when he saw that it was me. I started swearing at him and told him that I had had enough. I informed him that a number of my friends are a bit tapped in the head, but that they would do anything to help me. If I told them the abuse he was giving me, they would not be best pleased and would basically beat him to a pulp. I warned him that if he ever took the mickey out of me, that I would tell them and that he would then have to wait for his punishment to take place. I then ran off shaking. The next day I went to work in a nervous state, I am happy to report he fell for the bait and was as good as gold after that. In conclusion, do not let people bully you. Do whatever you have to, to gain the power back and to live life free of these horrible people. Good luck.

         
    Learning to see challenges as opportunities

     

    Are you a person who loves challenges, or hates them? I must admit I've spent most of my life as a person who hates them. I always thought of challenges as frustrating, maddening obstacles keeping me from where I want to be. I even used to take them personally, feeling like the universe must hate me and like to see me struggle. ;-) As I grow older and (hopefully) wiser - I find my competitive nature rising up to meet these challenges, and I'm learning to see them differently. Most of us know that great rewards require great sacrifice and effort. You know the old saying that nothing worthwhile comes easy? In a sense that's true. If everything we wanted was handed to us, we probably wouldn't have alot of appreciation for it. On the other hand, when we work hard for something and then see it manifest before our eyes, we get such a powerful sense of pride and accomplishment. We can point to it and say, "I did that. It was tough, but I did it anyway." Challenges are truly opportunities. Opportunities to grow and learn, to strengthen ourselves, to test ourselves and our faith. They reveal how badly we want to create the dreams in our hearts, and how hard we're willing to work for them. This is such a blessing. It may not seem that way at first, but with a tiny shift in attitude, we can see that we have been handed an incredible opportunity. The next time life hands you a challenge, stop and consider for a moment what it means. Is the universe saying "no", or "I want you to try harder?" Don't look at challenges as an end, look at them as a door leading to your heart's desires. That door might be locked, but you have the key. Maybe you forgot where you put the key, or you forgot that you even had it to begin with. It might take some effort and patience to find it again - or you might even have to create a new one, but believe that you will, even if you're not sure how yet. I'm learning that it's not important to have all the answers right now. When challenges rise up before us, we may not know how to get around them, or through them. It might seem hopeless at first. Challenges can seem so overwhelming when we don't have a solution. However, life itself is very much like this too. Sometimes life is akin to bumping around in a dark room, trying to find the light switch. It is possible to get through the room without finding the light switch immediately, we just need to step slowly and carefully. Moment to moment, we find our way. Rather than giving up when obstacles appear in your path, look at them as welcome challenges. The biggest challenge is choosing your own attitude. Will you get flustered and angry, or will you get excited and determined? Will you lay down and cry, or will you roll up your sleeves and get to work? Some of us take on a victim mentality when obstacles arise, and I can see why this happens. It does feel like the universe is picking on us, doesn't it? :-) I think we've all been there! Why not change your mindset and think of obstacles as a personal challenge? Rather than feeling like the universe is picking on you, challenge yourself to figure out a solution. Say to yourself, "Okay, such and such has happened, now what am I going to do about it"? Put your problem-solving skills to work. Once we begin to change our attitude about obstacles and challenges, they can actually become fun. Our competitive human nature rises up and gets ready to win, no matter what. We develop a steely determination to not be beaten. In fact, I like to pretend there is a great critic in the sky who laughs mockingly at me and says, "You can't do that." I simply grin wickedly, roll up my sleeves and say, "Watch me!"

         
     
         
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