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    Free Essay
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    Use the power of your thoughts

     

    The greatest power we ever got is the power of our thoughts. There is an Intelligence inside us that can elevate our life at the highest level. Everyone should learn to collaborate with this Intelligence which is organized to react on our intentions and to create with us a life of abundance and happiness. Freedom, happiness, richness, love, friendship, health and wealth are our birth right. We have been created to live our life in freedom, health and wealth. If our life doesn’t look like that, it means we block ourselves by our thoughts. Our thoughts are very powerful instruments we use to either create happiness and wealth, or sickness and poverty. If your life doesn’t look like what you’re dreaming of, it means you have thoughts which go against you. Your thoughts create your life. If you want to change your life, change first your thoughts. You can choose your thoughts. Nobody in the world can put a thought in your head without your permission. Your mind belongs to you! It’s your job to control your thoughts! You are the master of your head, you are the gaurdian of your thoughts. You can change them. Choose those thoughts who will bring you the results you want. Never think a thing you don’t want to happen. Read that again : never think a thought you don’t want to become true. It means : don’t think anything negative about yourself if you don’t want this thought to become real. If you don’t want to be stupid, stop thinking you are. If you don’t want to be fat, stop rehearsing in your head how fat you are now. If you don’t want to loose your boyfriend or girlfriend, stop thinking about this possibility. Instead of these destructive thoughts, choose thoughts which reinforce you. Choose to think how intelligent you are, and you will be! Choose to think how beautiful you are, and you will shine like a star! Choose to think you are loved, and you will! Thoughts are energy. Every thought carries an energy level. Your choice : or you choose thoughts which lower your energy level, or you choose thoughts which increase your energy level. It’s in your hands! Or better : it’s in your head! How you will feel and act depends on what you think. Every action and emotion is preceded by a thought. You can choose thoughts which block you, or even paralyze you. It isn’t any more difficult to watch your thoughts to be able to choose them consciously. It’s just a matter of exercise and consciousness. Once you've learned how to become the master of your thoughts, you become the master of your life! If checking your thoughts seems too difficult for now, you can start watching your mouth. Never let come out of your mouth something you don’t want to happen! Never wish a bad luck to anyone if you don’t want this to realize. Watch your mouth, watch your words, watch your thougths, and become the creator of your own life! Your life does not depend on others. It depends on your own ability to master your thoughts.

         
    Weaknesses explored in the hidden self

     

    When we become weak, it propitiates organisms that pander redundant habits that we possess, which reduces the growth and enhancement procedures. In order to reconcile with good habits we must develop willpower and self-discipline, since the two tools work in harmony to assist us with healing the hidden self. Self-discipline and willpower can assist us with determining the process of development and enrichment of self. Developing self-discipline with willpower endows one’s strength and our willpower to work through difficulties easier. Willpower and self-discipline will bestow one to persevere in an effort to shun direct contentment and happiness. By shunning, we can acquire superior strength of mind and find real happiness and contentment from our efforts. By inculcating willpower and self-discipline, we can learn to reject the vices that hinder self-development progression. In unison, by inculcating these virtues it will guarantee the development of the self. Developing enhanced consciousness of mind can help one discover and come to realization of the hidden self. Inculcating willpower and self-discipline, one will find it easier to undergo changes. Once you accept change, it assists you with developing refreshed habits, which oppose lethargic attitudes. These are the attitudes we must sacrifice, abandon to discover the hidden self. In view of these facts, we must move to meditate daily. Meditation is a process that assists us with reforming and transforming the mind. Yoga practices can prove beneficial and assist you with meditating. Naturopathy therapy and long walks can also benefit you and assist you with self-development. You will also need a balanced diet suitable for your body’s needs. Meditation is your guide to relaxing the mind and the soul, or body. Meditating often will help you with regaining your serenity and tranquility of the soul and mind. Meditation plays a chief role in developing one’s independence. Independent minds often manage negative or distressing thoughts easier. Mediation also assists one with restoring peace of mind. Of course, a peaceful mind often finds happiness. Meditation can help one with soothing the mind and the body. In fact, meditative practices have proven to be one of the top therapeutic aids that effectively give you results. Meditation can assist with restoring the emotional balance and propitiates the body so that it works in harmonization with the mind, to make sure it is properly working in harmony with development and growth of the self. Yoga as mentioned can assist you with meditation. Yoga can help curb downbeat energies and pessimistic attitudes. Yoga practices have proven to promote growth and self-development by assisting with mental transformation. Yoga can relieve organisms that emerge some disorders, including digestive disorders; insomnia, sleeps difficulties, obesity, and can act as a pain management. Yoga also assists with healing conditions of the heart, as well as other complications one may deal with. Incorporating practical yoga practices into your self-development scheme can lead you to talk self through vague logics that inhabit your competence by promoting rationale. Impediments could be effortlessly overcome through self-talk. Self-talk will help one convert his or her thoughts to sensible for self-realization. One can achieve this level of mental strengths through the process of filtration. During this process, negative thoughts are filtered. In the course of personalization, it prevents an entity from pushing culpability on himself for all the cynical deeds. In order to work through self-development effectively, one must develop an optimistic attitude. The entity must cultivate freewill. Free will is exclusively dependent on the will of an entity. Freewill can treads an entity to an untrue path that may lead him to endure severe consequences. On the other hand, his will can encourage him to accept the confirmatory attitude that may direct on to his growth and intensification in life.

         
    What are you really missing out on

     

    Life is all about experience. Most of us have quite a vast intellectual knowledge of the world. Intellectually we know what's available to us as human beings and although most people haven't got everything they want, they at least have an intellectual knowledge of it. They know what exists and they know what is available. There is, however a huge difference between intellectual knowledge and experiential knowledge. We all long to experience the objects of our desire. Knowing simply isn't enough. We want to feel and we want to experience that which we know by engaging all our senses and all of our nervous system to fully comprehend that which exists only as impulses in our minds. Until and unless you actually experience something it will remain an idea and a concept that will always leave you wanting more. Experience is the process by which you turn your intellectual knowledge into a physical experience and when you experience it, it becomes real because you get to feel it in your nervous system. You involve your emotions and, in the process, you get to feel the fullness of a concept turned real and made manifest in reality. You can know yourself to be kind, but until and unless you do something kind, the idea will remain intellectual and weak. Only when you take the idea and act on it will you create the experience. Having the experience of kindness is what you really want. Experience then is something we create by taking an idea and putting it to use through action. It is when you use your will to take action when you get to "see" the invisible idea take shape in physical form and through physical experience. We all have a deep seeded need to experience that which we know intellectually and that which we crave to experience through our senses and our emotions. From this point of view we are all constantly striving to experience through our physical bodies and our emotions that which we hold as an idea in our intellect and our minds. The easiest way to turn your ideas into reality is through action. When you use your will you can take any idea and just do it to have the experience of your knowledge. The real purpose of knowledge is action for what good is knowledge when you can't use it? The challenge for most people is that they are held back by their own limiting beliefs and fears. Fears and limiting beliefs are actually imaginary for the belief that taking action might lead to a specific "bad" outcome is what actually prevents you from taking action. It is the fear that doing "this" will mean "that" or will lead to "that" even though it has not occurred yet (and will most probably not). The reality is that all experience in life happens through contrast. We live in a world that is relative. Everything in life exists in relation to something else and everything in life has it's reciprocal. A wise man once said that someone born blind will never know the meaning of darkness for he's never seen the light. Neale Donald Walsh explains it beautifully in Conversations with God when he said that in the absence of that which is not, that which is, is not. For us to experience anything we must also experience the opposite. Life can never be just a flat and one dimensional experience. It simply does not exist. The challenge is that most people live in the delusion that their lives are in shatters because there are some things they do not like. In reality they are just experiencing the opposite of what they do want. Hot does not exist without cold. There can be no rainbow without the storm. It is in the contrast that we get to truly live life through the experience of both . When you learn to see life experiences as different states of the same thing you can start to really appreciate all of life and truly have the experience of living life. Appreciating and acknowledging that which is not the way you want, will give you a totally different perspective on everything that you do not like in your life, both past and present. Whether you are feeling lonely, depressed, sad or frustrated you can actually start to appreciate these emotions for it's because of them that you can experience love, vitality, joy and passion. Regardless of whether you call something good or bad, experience is what will give you fulfilment in life. You have one incredible gift and that is to take your inner desires and experience them. This gift is the gift of action which is your ability to take an impulse of thought and desire and put it to use. In it's original latin form the word experience actually means to "test" or to "try". When you relinquish your attachment to just experiencing pleasure you will start to see the use and even the meaning of pain for the one creates and defines the other. Experience has no, and needs no attachment to specific outcomes. Although it does not guarantee you a specific outcome, it does guarantee you a rich life that is filled with a multitude of contrasting sensations. Every cell in your body has a "memory" and through experience you get to feel and "record" your intellectual knowledge by engaging all of you. This is the true meaning of "knowing" for it comes with a deep sense of certainty that you feel in your whole body. This is when you "know it in your bones" – it is a deeper understanding that can never come from intellectual knowledge alone. Your world cannot be grasped by contemplation and knowledge alone, but only through action.

         
    What is happiness

     

    Are you happy? Many of us are not sure about that. Happiness also can not be defined so easily. Most of us are not living happily. That is the curse of modern age. Try and make yourself as happy as possible amongst all the stresses and tensions. What is happiness? When I say that I am feeling happy, it may mean that I just got something that I love. That makes me happy. Have you ever seen at the photographs of people who have won a big lottery? They look so happy. Meet them after few years, when they have already spent all their money, and you will find the same person very unhappy. A married couple looks happy while getting married. Meet them after few years in the Divorce court and you will know that happiness was not their nature, but only a reaction to circumstances. Can we remain happy at all times? It is difficult, but one can surely try. Decide to smile and feel happy at all the times. Even if you learn that you have suffered a big loss, be happy. Sounds foolish? But this can be done. And no amount of unhappiness will ever get you the money back. But happiness under all conditions will give you the confidence and strength to fight against all the odds and come out as a winner.

         
    What is happiness can it be defined

     

    Happiness is one of the most commonly used words. We all say - the children look so happy. I am very happy today. You don't look happy. Any reason? How to make a happy world? How to avoid sad feelings and feel happy? Which pill can help us? The discussion about happiness is endless. Does science give a common definition of happiness? General answers are available that say that happiness is a state when one feels good, elated , contented, good etc. Is happiness a life long gift or an emotion experienced for a short time. If I win a lottery, I become happy. As I spend all the money, I become unhappy again. When you call me a good person, I feel happy and when you curse me, I feel very unhappy. If I look at the dead body of my old friend, I feel unhappy and when I look at laughing faces of children I feel happy. We have no control. Outside forces and events control our emotions. We are all toys. That has no free will. This is difficult to believe but true. Let us find out what is not happiness. Low self esteem, feelings of despondency, sadness, guilt, helplessness, frustration, low interest, uncertainty, and all such negative emotions are not happy emotions. They rather make us unhappy. Now let us talk of what is happiness? Feeling good, cheerful outlook, positive thoughts, winning attitudes, satisfied living, enjoyment, and all such emotions that make us feel good are happy feelings Is happiness same for all of us? If I give a certain amount to few people, some may become very happy and some may become angry and some will not care either way. Am I making myself clear? So happiness is not something that we feel in equal measure. I may be very happy when I watch the star lit night, but you may enjoy only the bright sunshine. So each one of us has his/her own happiness. Some of us are happy when we get a large amount of money, some when they can do lot of creative work, some when they can make others feel good and so on. All of us have our unique set of values and desires. We ourselves many times do not know about them. It become difficult therefore to know how to keep others happy and this ignorance causes most of inter personal problems. But these differences in our emotional reactions make us human beings; otherwise we are no different than animals.

         
    What to do when nothing is working out for you

     

    If you are one of those people for whom things are just not going the way they want .... if you think that things work out wonderfully well for everyone else BUT you, then you should sit back, relax and ponder upon your situation in this light: We have all been brought up "in comparison" to others. There is an ideal time to go to school, finish college, get married, make money, have children etc and then everything HAS to repeat itself the same way for our children and so on! If we are ever "behind" anyone (or everyone) in achieving a certain goal, a lot of anxiety and despair comes rushing into our lives. We then desperately try all kinds of things to get to that goal, all the while worrying that it will not happen for us...and what is the result? It actually doesn't! The more you despair for something, the more of these "wanting" vibrations will be released into the Universe and you will end up with more of "wanting" and no "gaining". I want you to remember that it is always a BIG mistake to judge your life by comparing it with others. Your circumstances are completely different from them.... plans and things that work for them cannot work in exactly the same way for you. By worrying about why things are not working out for you in the same way, you CREATE a reality for that time; that those things or plans are not working for you. It is all because you are defining your reality by comparing it with someone else. Some one else's reality does not have anything to do with your reality. Here is a better way of thinking and putting things in perspective: First and foremost, realise completely how you have acqired this state of mind. Accept that you have been comparing your reality with others and that is not taking you anywhere... they have a completely different path in life than yours. Love yourself the way you are, love your circumstances and accept that things at present are exactly as they should be. Also, allow yourself to believe that you WILL succeed although not in EXACTLY the same way that you want to. Perhaps God/Universe/Spirit wants to take you through a different path, but you WILL get there. Trust that although things may or may not turn out to be the way that you want them to, they WILL turn out in a way that is best for you. You have to be relaxed and non-judgemental for things to start working in the direction of your success. Set your OWN definitions of success, and do not base your happiness on how everything is working out for others. Take action, but do not struggle to control each and every event in your life. Try to do all that you can to make things right and then trust in God/Universe/Spirit to take you to your goal. You will be happier, more secure and will have peace and love in your heart and best of all, eventually things will start going your way. ------------------------------------------------

         
    Where is happiness

     

    Do you move through life feeling everyday is the same? Like some repeated pattern that goes on and on? For some people, there's nothing new to do under the sun, and nowhere to go. Everything is just boring, boring, boring. They work so hard to earn enough money to play, but yet their playtime passes so fast. Suffer five days, enjoy two days. Sometimes, to break the monotony, they seek thrill through intoxicants (alcohol, smoke), sex, and even drugs. For these temporary pleasures, it feels exciting while it's happening, but once it's over, the same pattern of meaninglessness sets in, and they're left thinking, "When can I get the next high?" Perhaps you will recognize this scene... Two old men are sitting on a bus. As the bus passes by the red-light district, one old man says to the other, "Hey... aren't you going to see the chickens (prostitute) today?" The other man raises an eyebrow... a spark in his wrinkled eyes, "Yes, yes, I will be going this afternoon!" The first old man smirks, and says, "You didn't even bring your medicine, how can you DO IT?" For some people, their lust is so strong, that they borrow money from family and friends, just to visit brothels. You will see this pattern in addicts. Drug addicts, sex addicts, alcohol addicts. They're always looking for the greater thrill and the next high, and that's what sets their life on a downward spiral. They waste their time, energy, and money, instead of using it to build success. For life to have zest, everyone needs that natural feeling of drive, anticipation, and excitement. When one does not know how to get it naturally, one may resort to vices to stimulate that sense of being fully alive, desperately trying to bring some meaning into life. But you see, happiness is within you... If you can’t satisfy your wants, then the other way to happiness is to release them. Let go of that which you must have. Shakyamuni Buddha said that, "All desire leads to suffering..." Suffering because you crave what you do not have. And let me ask you this: Is this yearning self-created? Or something imposed on you by the outside world? Perhaps it's the outside world's fault because other people keep flaunting their luxuries and exotic experiences. But surely, we create this yearning within ourselves. It is within our power to control it, or release it altogether. Lord Richard Layard, Professor from the London School of Economics, a leading happiness researcher, says, "Happiness is a balance between your expectations and your attainments. One way is to get what you want. The other, is liking what you get." Many of our desires are misplaced. We think getting them will bring us happiness, but that is an illusion. These misplaced desires are nothing more than temporary pleasures. You don't need to satisfy your desires to be happy; you need only release them. Do you need the attention of the opposite sex? No, as you get older, your body parts will sag, and the opposite sex will pay less attention to you. Must you get laid to be happy? No, as you age, your sex hormones will lessen, and so will your desire to mate. Must you wait till you have a million bucks? Nope. Historical and worldwide research shows that above US$15,000 a year, higher income is no guarantee of greater happiness. The people who feel good everyday, without resorting to vices, have one mental characteristic in common. They have a dream, and they know what they want to achieve in life. This sense of purpose drives them; gives meaning to their existence. They have discovered their soul's calling, and are living life to the fullest by following it. This is different from those who are 'party animals', "living life to the fullest" by drowning in deafening music, and shaking till the sun rises... That's not living, that's dying. If you want to find true meaning and happiness in life, then you've got to uncover your life's purpose. For each of us has a unique destiny. A path made specially for you to walk on this journey through life. Follow it, and you arrive in paradise. Ignore it, and you continue to wander... wasting time, and life itself. 1. You need to know what you’re made of. Your talents, strengths, and abilities. 2. Craft a vision for yourself, and visualize that dream in your mind. 3. Work out a plan that sets your goals and decides what actions you must take to achieve them. 4. Tell your closest friends about it, and commit yourself to taking five of the planned actions everyday to build your dream. When you see that your actions are creating results, it will be a natural source of excitement and inspiration. Instead of spending time, energy, and money on vices, you invest it in creating an upward spiral of success. By releasing your desire for temporary pleasures, you kick your bad habit out the door. By choosing to live your purpose and answer your soul’s calling, you break free from the chains of monotony, and find truth, meaning, and happiness in life.

         
    Why do we hurt those we love most and how to stop this

     

    You love each other but can’t manage to communicate without arguing, fighting and ending up exhausted, each one in his corner, trying to lick his wounds and thinking of how to protect one self against a new attack. And in spite of that…you love each other? How is this possible? Why do people hurt most those they love? How come we can’t express our love? How come we are full of good intentions but when it comes to reality we find ourselves again shouting and blaming the other one. And then that monster of guilt jumps out of nowhere to our throat to strangle us once again. How to stop this infernal behavior? First let me explain why this happens. We all need energy. We need energy to live and to survive. Energy comes in many forms : love, attention, interest, food, friendship, money, approval, recognition… We all need this to feel good, to build our personality and to find our place in society. But here it is : as long as we think this energy has to come from other human beings, we will get caught up in struggle. Because human energy is limited. We have to fight for it. Human energy doesn’t last. There isn’t enough of it. So we have to be the quickest, the smartest, the most beautiful one, to attract the attention from the other and to pull his energy. If this doesn’t work, we try another strategy. We try to pull attention by negative behavior. Every child learns this very quickly in his early life : when he is playing quietly on the floor with his toys, mum goes on cooking dinner or talking with daddy. But as soon as the kid hurts his little sister or is playing “sick”, mums hurries to give attention to him. She shouts maybe, she’s angry or worried, but no matter, all this is attention for the child! He learns very quickly which behavior gives him the greatest amount of attention and energy. When his mother or father looks at him, even angry, it still is energy coming his way! When they shout at him, they give him energy. Negative energy, alright, but it is better than no energy at all. When we grow up, and start to date, we discover a very interesting phenomenon : when we fall in love, we receive a lot of energy (read : attention, interest, time, love etc.) for free. The other person gives us freely and abundantly a whole bunch of energy. We don’t even have to ask for it, we don’t need to apply any strategy to pick this energy, it’s all for free! We let go of our mechanism to pull the energy of others towards us. We loosen up. We “fall” in love. We almost literally fly. We are high! Everything seems to have more colour, is more vivid, we feel lighter, life seems easy, everything goes by itself, we have the feeling we love everybody and everything, even our grunchy boss! Nothing can hurt us, we feel safe and boosted with energy. But this is his or her energy! We are flying on someone else’s energy, and human energy is limited! And that is exactly the problem! This stream of free energy begins to slow down, because the other one goes back to his business and activities he had before. Why? The body is not able to handle this amount of adrenaline for a long period of time, they say… but the real reason is we need to learn to pull our energy from somewhere else, not from a human being but from the source of energy itself. So our lover gives us less free energy than before. We were used to this energy-flow and now we have to do it again by ourselves! Free energy is so much easier! We don’t have to do any effort to get it! And now we are getting less of this free energy, we don’t want to let this happen. At this moment our old childhood-system of capturing energy is triggered because of the scarcity of energy (there is an alarm inside us that says : “Danger! Lack of energy!”) and the old mechanism to capture energy from others starts running in our head and in our behavior. The mechanism that worked when we were a child to get the energy of our parents, will be triggered by the lack of energy now. We do what we did as a child to get energy flowing our way. We can do this by playing the victim (“Oh poor me, look at all that I do and nobody is grateful! Look how good I am and still life strikes me with disapproval, disease and misery! Oh oh oh!”). Or we get attention by being aggressive, shouting and trying to dominate the other one. A third mechanism is harassing the other one by asking too many questions and controlling him. A fourth system is playing silence, refusing contact, not to speak and not to react, so the other one will do whatever he can to get in contact with you again and this will give you his energy. These systems will of course make the energy of the other one flowing your way. But what next? The other one is now low on energy and wants to get his energy back. So now his mechanism is triggered by his lack of energy. He will now use the system that assured him the energy of his parents when he was little, to get his energy back from you. He will either shout at you, either playing the poor one that didn’t deserve your treatment, either torture you with a bunch of questions, or refuse contact. This explains why we hurt the ones we love. First reason is we want their energy, energy they gave once for free. We hurt our loved onces most because they gave us love and energy and attention for free in the beginning and now we have to do it on our own and we are angry and want get back to them. We think we are entitled to have their energy still for free and start our mechanism to get it. Second reason we hurt them most is because of convenience : they are always around, their energy is available so when we are low on energy we try to rip their energy off, and hurt them by doing that. Stealing energy from another human being is hurting him. What can we do about this? We should only be in contact with other people when we are sure to be already filled up with energy, so we won’t steal theirs. When we are full of energy, and conscious of what happens between people, we can give the other one energy instead of ripping him off. We should not meet each other when we are low on energy. It’s the responsibility of each and every person to generate energy by himself and not to depend on other people. How to do that? By connecting to the energy that is always available. That is the energy of the Universe. The easiest way to connect to this energy is contemplate the beauty of a flower. You also can contemplate the beauty of an object or a person. You can listen to beautiful music, take a walk in nature, meditate, pray, dance, paint, read positive texts, work on your mission on earth, love your cat or dog, anything that gives you energy. Make a list of every activity and behavior that increases your energy level. As soon as you feel you’re in a conflict with your partner, boss, child, parent or whoever, do something to get yourself together and raise your energy. Don’t say anything until your energy-level is again high enough to be able to send energy to the other one. By sending energy, you are sure not to steal energy from the other one. This is an act of love. If you are not able to get your energy level any higher, go to another place, do something for you and wait until your vibrations are high enough to meet the other one again. The important thing in a relationship is not to make the other happy or to expect the other one to make you happy, but to make yourself happy and offer this happiness as a free gift to the other! Loving another human being is giving him energy! See the difference? Do you want to love your loved ones or steal their energy?

         
    You can shift your reality to include more of what you want

     

    Do you know that you are emitting signals that the universe responds to? It's like we're all emitting radio signals that go out into the universe and match us up with anything on the same wavelength, bringing to us the circumstances and events which make up our lives. The signals you emit are made up of your thoughts, beliefs, and the emotions that these create within you. You're experiences tend to match what you've got your focus upon. You do have the power to affect your experiences by paying attention to what you focus upon. This is where your power is. If you are focused upon the negative aspects of your experience, you will create more of the same, which you then focus on and create more of, and so on in a vicious cycle. Fortunately, this works the other way around too! If you choose to focus on the positive aspects of any experience, you will create more positive aspects you can then focus on, and continue bringing more positive experiences into your life. Even if you can only find one positive aspect to focus on in a situation that has many more negative aspects, and you keep choosing to keep your focus on the one positive part, you will soon see improvement in that situation that will give you more that's positive to focus on. It's a gradual, continual process. And it works! Just because something is how it is, does not mean it has to stay that way! Just because you've had a lot of it in the past, does not mean you're doomed to have more of it in the future! If you don't like it, know that you do have the power to change it. And if you do like it, know that you can create more of it, if you wish to. Gradually shifting your perception to include more of what you do like, opens the flow so more like it can come to you. Over the last few years I have found many incredibly helpful resources to help anyone along the path to greater joy. Now I'm setting up a website to share these resources with others. Wishing you increased satisfaction and more joy! Carrie McLain

         
    You ll see it when you believe it growing your life from the inside out

     

    Generally you pick up on the things that resonate with your beliefs and your view of the world. This is why, when you’re feeling bad, bad things rain down on you relentlessly. There are the real, major issues that you have to contend with and then there are the generalizations that you have learned to draw from them, like: “Life is hard” “It always seems to happen to me” etc. It isn’t in any way your fault, of course. It’s also true that bad things happen to happy people too. Happy people are not necessarily fortunate people in the sense of everything in their life being hunky-dory. How many people do you know who have good relationships, good health, financial security and are still discontented, bored or only half-alive? I can certainly think of a few. Happy people are the people who have learned to modify their mood, manage their emotions and choose their reactions. Language, which we all have, is the sole tool that they need to do so. You end up believing what other people tell you, when they tell you something often, or convincingly enough. How many times have you found yourself believing some daft, but effective, advertising slogan, despite your better judgment? How many times have you reviled yourself for being lazy, or stupid or worthless, even when you know that is not really you, because that’s what you’ve been told repeatedly? If you’ll see it when you believe it, then the first thing to do is choose beliefs that serve you. You can do that because you only have to tell yourself a thing often enough and you will believe it. Unless, of course, your real mantra is: “Well, I’ll try it, but I know it won’t work for me.” In which case it won’t – because you’ll get what you’ve affirmed. But you can choose an affirmation that allows your spirit to soar. You can start from wherever you are with whatever words seem most appropriate to you. Purely as an example, you could choose to affirm something like: “I now give myself permission to celebrate my strength, my uniqueness and my precious humanity.” Say it once and nothing will happen. Say it several times each day, over a period of weeks and old limiting beliefs will start to lose their hold. Or you could do it the way Sandy Forster advocates in “How To Be Wildly Wealthy Fast”. Instead of just saying your affirmation, you go through it, putting the stress on the first word first time round, the second word second time round and so on until you reach the last word. An affirmation of 15 words, like the one above will probably take you 2 or 3 minutes to work through. By the time you’ve finished, it will have interrupted any habitual negative loop and lifted your spirits. Do that a few times a day, when negative thoughts kick in and it won’t be that many days before you start to feel different. And when you start to believe different things, you’ll start to see different things. Yes, it’s cheap, cheerful and ridiculously simple. Often what stops you achieving something you truly want is not the enormity or the complexity of the thing. It may just be a small, but crucial bit of information you lack, without which nothing seems to make sense. The question is: are you prepared to give it a go? (C) 2005 Annie Kaszina

         
    You make me feel

     

    Do other people make you feel things? Do they make you feel happy or sad? I’m curious. How do they make you feel this way? Do they say, “Hey, here’s a tin of sadness.” Or maybe they say, “Ahh, you need a bucket of happiness. Hold on, I’ve got one here you can have.” Can you find happiness or sadness on the supermarket shelves, pre-packaged and ready to go? Shopaholics amongst you would argue that you could; however I would say you can’t. We often rely on other people to “make” us feel a certain way. We rely on them to do something, say something, be something in order for us to feel happy. If they don’t do what we are expecting them to, we get upset, sad and hurt. In short, we often attempt to control other people in order to control how we feel; that is, our emotions. And when we do this, we are setting ourselves up for failure, because we can’t control anyone else. We cannot force anyone to do anything or assume they will. There is just one person we control; ourselves. People don’t make us feel certain emotions. We choose to feel them. We decide to react in a certain way. We make assumptions about what people mean. We leap to conclusions. No one can give you a tin of unhappiness, or a bucket of joy. These things are not physical items that can be passed from person to person. They are intangible items that exist only in ourselves. In fact just the other day I was at a wedding. I told one of my friends how wonderful she looked and how much I liked her outfit. She leapt to the conclusion that I was being sarcastic and chose to be offended by what was a genuine compliment. Had I even been being sarcastic, she could have chosen to be complimented and replied with a, “I’m glad you like it” and felt better about herself. There was a guy I knew when I was younger. He was short, balding, spotty and he had been short changed in the looks department. Yet whenever we went out to bars, he’d wander up to any pretty woman and start talking to her. If she turned him down, he’d shrug his shoulders and continue. I don’t think it ever even occurred to him to feel bad about these rejections. He’d just smile and say, “Your loss” and move on to the next one. Believe it or not, each of you are in control of yourself and how you feel. You can choose to feel anyway you want. Right now, you could choose to feel happy; or I am sure you could choose to feel sad. Just by thinking about it, you could change how you feel. It’s almost magic isn’t it? So what about choosing how you feel when you are interacting with other people? The vast majority of people run on auto-pilot. They allow their body and mind to more or less get on with it, not worrying too much about the programs that are running or the condition of it. It doesn’t interfere with them too much so they allow it to get on with it. It’s like watching all the cars driving around a city and not realising there is someone inside controlling them. Most people have forgotten there is this “person” inside of them controlling them. If you choose, you can take back control of how you feel and stop relying on other people to meet certain conditions. When you go to the office and someone says, “Good Morning” to you, you can choose to grumble and mutter, “There’s nothing good about it.” Or, you can choose to reply in kind and say, “It’s a fantastic morning.” That is, you can choose to feel bad or choose to feel good. Which do you prefer? Realise that you are the only person who can make you feel anything and stop allowing the people around you to make you feel bad. Decide to feel good and enjoy yourself. If someone turns you down or rejects you, “It’s their loss” or something similar. If someone says insults you, “Poor thing, must be confused” or something similar. Decide to take back control of yourself and your life and to stop being on auto-pilot. Choose how you are going to feel instead of allowing other people to choose for you.

         
     
         
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