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    Free Essay
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    Develop a belief system that works for you

     

    It is interesting to note that most of society is free. There is a percentage of the populous that is incarcerated for crimes against society. So too, are there people who live in political cultures that do not value the freedom of its' people. Nevertheless, the majority of the people in the world live in relative freedom. They can choose whom they marry, what they do for a living, and where they live. Most societies allow their people to move around freely without restraint. As long as an individual is obeying the laws, that person has wide latitude in conduct. The freedoms offered by governments are physical freedoms that all its' law abiding members enjoy. However, many operate in a “prison like” atmosphere regardless of what they are given. This prison does not exist on the material plane. Rather, it is a creation of the mind. It is manufactured from an individual's belief system. These beliefs become people's jailers. Most will tell you that they can think for themselves. To suggest that they are incapable of creating their own ideas is met with an overwhelming attitude to the contrary. All their success, experiences, and intelligence give a sense of independence. They mistakenly believe that their belief systems is of their own making. Unfortunately for them, it is not. A fundamental concept to creating the life that you desire is to create a belief system that works for you. Contrary to what most think, our beliefs systems are shaped by the influences around us. Teachers, parents, friends, co-workers, and institutions all have input into the beliefs that we live by. Have you ever noticed how children's ideas often reflect those of their parents? This is so common that political organizations poll school children during Presidential elections because they accurately reflect the sentiment of the adults. The governments of the world are masters at shaping the belief system of its' people. Through the use of propaganda, public opinion is swayed based upon the desires of those in power. This is often done in the name of nationalism. A group of people is established as a threat to the society. Events are shown to validate this viewpoint while creating the emotional dislike towards that group. Thus, the government is free to act as it see fit with the full support of its people. Unfortunately, most people do not have firsthand experience to form a solid conclusion. Of course, they will defend their belief even though that are not certain where it came from. It is common for people and organizations to manipulate other's beliefs for the sake of control. The government is one example. Some religions throughout history has acted in a similar manner. They used threat of an angry Deity and eternal damnation to control the masses. There were numerous instances where the Church of England was the most powerful organization in Europe. With a following that is under control, it is much easier to maintain influence. Naturally, there are many denominations where this is not the case. So, too, are their many people who's lives are enhanced by their religious affiliation. Unfortunately, this is not true in all instances. The key to a belief systems is creating one that works for you. As an adult, you have the freedom to believe anything that you desire. Spending time questioning where some of your beliefs came from is healthy. It is also effective to determine whether they still work for you. If they assist you into being happy, joyous, and free, then they are worthwhile. However, when they instill pain, perhaps it is time to rethink them. Ironically, the beliefs that seem to cause the most chaos in people's lives come from those who love us the most. Many individuals suffer from psychological disorders due to the influences of their parents. Things such as low self esteem, abandonment, and sexual issues all come from our upbringing. Typically, one who suffer from any of these, was made to feel guilty and shameful. Their worth was shown to be tied to their performance which never was good enough. Mistakes were not forgiven but something to be used as a weapon to make the other feel worse. All this was done as a form of control. Leap forward 20 years and you find that a person who grew up in this atmosphere often still carries these beliefs. Even though recent experiences will prove to the contrary, the individual still hears the words of the parent. It affects the relationships with friends, lovers, coworkers, and oneself. Without some help, the person is often incapable of healthy interaction with others. There is a degree of sickness in all that is done. Thus, the individual turns to other things to fill that void that exists whether it is drugs, alcohol, sex, or food. However, if the belief system was viewed as insane, the person might be apt to change it. Simply altering a few of the basic beliefs one holds regarding oneself miraculously changes life. The more that we can accept that it is likely that what we believe came from other, the better our chances are of attaining freedom. There are many things that were taught to us by others growing up which serve us well. This is especially true if we were raised in a loving home. However, society being as selfish as it is, there is much that stands in our way of happiness. Analyzing our belief system gets to the root of what motivates us. A system that contains a great deal of fear will cause one to often act out of that fear. The opposite is also true. To create 'our' life, it begins with creating 'our' own belief system.

         
    Discover a tried and tested way for you to achieve happiness in 2006

     

    Imagine being happy all the time. How would your life be different if you were happy all the time? All of us want to be happy. In fact in most polls people say that they want peace and happiness more than anything else in the world. The problem is: most of us are looking in the wrong places. But all has recently been revealed thanks to a multi disciplinary team of six British specialists who span a variety of disciplines from psychology, psychotherapy to economics who embarked on an unusual social experiment. Their unusual challenge? What does it take to make residents of a town happy? During their experiment in Slough, a commuter belt town, twenty two miles from the centre of London they discovered 10 “seeds of happiness”. Ten things which when you do them all regularly will not only improve your life in your community but will make you happy and contented. What are they? • Plant something and nurture it. When you water and feed plants they grow. When you water and feed the seeds of your interest - they grow. • At the end of each day stop and think how fortunate you are. Think of five things in your life that you are grateful for. • Make time to talk to your partner. Every week sit down for at least an hour and talk with your partner or someone you love. That’s one hour without answering the ‘phone or watching TV or listening to music. One undisrupted hour with your loved one. • Make that ‘phone call that you keep promising yourself you will make. Contact the friend with whom you haven’t spoken for a while. • Treat yourself. Give yourself a treat every day and take the time to really enjoy it. Be good to yourself. This simple act breeds; self confidence and positivity and happiness. • Have a good laugh at least once a day. Laughter helps to stimulate your immune system. Research shows that laughter is important for people who survive a heart attack. It has been found that people are less likely to have a second attack, need less medication and have lower blood pressure if they allow themselves to see and laugh at humorous situations each day. • Exercise. Make the effort to walk, run, jog, swim, whatever for half an hour three times a week. Guaranteed to reduce stress and make you feel good. • Every day smile at and/or say hello to a stranger. Smiling is not only good for the person receiving it also makes you feel good too. • How long do you spend watching TV? Research show that too much TV actually causes unhappiness. So make an effort to cut your viewing time by half. • Every Day do a good turn for someone. Now it's down to you. OUR CHALLENGE Implement the 10 seeds of happiness into your life for two months and see the difference it makes. It works. Good Luck Graham and Julie desktop-meditation

         
    Do what feels good and find freedom

     

    A thought is an energy. Energy always wants to manifest itself. Energy can not be stocked or blocked. It will get out anyway. If you do something to prevent your energy from flowing, it will find another way to express itself. If you do not follow your own energy, your intuition, if you swim against the stream of your own flow, energy will express itself in sickness, tiredness, depression, skin diseases, temper tantrums, agressiveness and other not so pleasant things. So why not follow the road where your energy takes you? This is your road, your way! Do you know the song “I did it my way”? Well, if you do things your way, if you dare being yourself, you will feel the energy. As long as you try to be somebody else to please your parents, peers, husband, wife, boss, children, neighbours or whatever, your energy will be stuck. Ok, you say, but won’t I become selfish, an outlaw, a social disaster by following my own road? No! You will become yourself. That is freedom : to be yourself. See the world like a big wardrobe. Everybody has his own costume. There is only one that fits you perfectly. As long as you try to be someone else, you are walking around with a costume that is either too small or too big for you. You don’t feel comfortable in it. And what else is, you “stole” a costume that belongs to someone else! That means you are not at the right place doing the right thing with the right people! You took someone else’s place, someone else’s costume! How can you know if you are at the right place, doing the right thing with the right people? There is a very simple criterion to find out : the questions stop in your mind! This spinning machine in your head that was torturing you for years has just stopped by itself! You can feel it : you feel good, everything is “right”, your talents are asked for and you have the greatest pleasure to offer them to the those around you. Everything falls at his place. Questions vanish and make place for peace. As long as you torture yourself with all these questions, it means you still didn’t find your right spot on earth. You are doing an activity that somebody else should be doing. And your “job” is getting done by someone else who is not at his right place either! You see? It’s like a puzzle : if everyone is at his right place doing the thing he knows the best, everyone would be at peace, filled with energy and health, and everyone would live in wealth. Go searching for your right place. The moment you stop being harassed by so many questions and you feel your energy flowing in your veins, you know this is it! You are on your road, your road to freedom. This IS freedom! Look for it, go for it!

         
    Do you need reasons to cheer up a bit

     

    Are you a recent expatriate? Have you just arrived in your new location only to find out that you have by no means escaped certain annoyances that occurred on a daily basis back home? I mean issues such as: paying the bills, standing in lines, car repairs, meeting deadlines, endless meetings at work, and so on. Yes, this is life no matter where you live, where go and where you are right now. However, to be very understanding, these issues can be especially tough when you are a newly arrived expatriate. Not only do you have to deal with all the daily events and routine, but you also have to manage a range of other expatriate-related realities namely; language barriers, visa problems, getting lost every other day, having to pass a driver’s test again, driving on the “wrong” side of the road, getting used to the food, not being able to get a decent cup of coffee and the list continues … However, there is good news. Although the going may be tough, there are many upsides to being at this point of your life right now and there are reasons to be bright and cheerful. Let’s consider a few: * Strangers appreciate you for trying to speak their language. In fact they make you feel special for doing so. * How about those friends you met at the local tennis club? They help you with cultural information, make phone calls for you and are available for any Q & A. * People you barely know help you get the Internet hooked up. * Colleagues take the time to show you how subway system works. * Neighbors advise you on which grocery store to shop at and which markets offers great deals. * New friends share their best-kept secrets of favorite locals and drag you off for fun nights on the town. * The gym manager gives you a special membership discount as a way to welcome you into town. * Teachers at the Dutch, French or Spanish language classes have more patience than you ever thought possible for any human being. * People passing by on the street help you find your way around this new city. * Colleagues support you in meetings and help you understand the company policies and rules. And so, before you know it, you are beginning to enjoy your daily life and you begin to feel that you are a real and integral part of the community. Actually, at the end of the day, it all comes down to getting out what you put in. If you really want to give your term in this new land a fair go and be happy while living abroad, you may just need to go out on a limb, take some risks, put some effort into your experience and live your life with positive expectation. Give your host country a chance and open your eyes for all it and its people have to offer. Be prepared to live outside of your comfort zone and don’t compare everything to how it is done back home. You are in a different place now and if you make this place home and treat it like home and I can almost say with confidence, your new home will treat you back in more ways than you ever thought possible. You may not ever want to leave ... Quote of the week “Wondrous is the strength of cheerfulness and its power of endurance – the cheerful man will do more in the same time, will do it better, will preserve it longer, than the sad or the sullen.” Thomas Carlyle CHEERY HAPPENINGS IN MY WEEK: * Free fruit. * Translation help. * A local public holiday. * A new friend. * Phone calls from home. How was your week…?

         
    Do you want to achieve fulfilment success and true hapiness

     

    Are you in control of your destiny? As you are reading these words, you may be thinking about and looking for a way to improve your sense of fulfilment, success and true happiness in your life. It seems that some people nearly always attain success in relationships, business and personal fulfilment, while others in similar circumstances may do well, but never seem to reach the higher levels. We often say they are "lucky" but I suggest that luck has nothing to do with it. What does have everything to do with it are the following six factors. They are the areas which every one of us need to improve in order to attain personal fulfilment, success and happiness. Which of these would you wish to improve? 1. Self-image. Your beliefs about your self affect how you feel and how you appear to others. Your self-confidence and self-worth are the result of your self-image. 2. Self Control. The true fact is that either you control your life or you are controlled by it. 3. Creativity. In its broadest sense it is the artist and the scientist within you, who solves your problems and brings new ideas. 4. Cooperation. No man is an island, and the successful person will be expert at communication skills, persuading and encouraging others to make his own and their shared goals come true. 5. Planning. It is said, that "If you don't know where you are going, you'll end up somewhere else". If someone doesn't have clear and focused goals, they cannot complain if the "somewhere else" is not to their liking. 6. Concentration. Willingness to get going, concentrated effort, persistence and resilience in the face of obstacles - all are crucial to success in achieving life goals.

         
    Doing what you love

     

    What do you want to be when you grow up? I’m sure you were asked this question at least once when you were a youngster. When asked the question, did you have an answer at the ready, or did you need a few minutes to think about it? We all had dreams of becoming something great, like a fireman, a teacher, or a rock star, just to name a few. Well, how did you do? Maybe you never aspired to be what you set out to be or said that you would become. But then again, things change. The older we get, our tastes change, our view of the world changes, even our goals change. One of the most important lessons I’ve learned during my career path is to do something you love to do. Why is this important? I feel that if you enjoy what you make a living at, you end up being happy in more ways than one. Life itself becomes much more interesting and fun. You find yourself speaking passionately to others about your work. The experiences you have along the way become much more rewarding, and enrich your life in many ways. You meet fascinating people. I know people who have turned favorite hobbies into small businesses, and have succeeded. Sure, they may have had to sacrifice a steady paycheck for their happiness, but not one of them either turned back or gave up. Their passion carried them through to success. While no job or business is perfect, the important thing is to enjoy it, even learn from it. If you are unhappy in your current situation, why not take steps now to change it? Somewhere out there is a job or business that is perfect for you. If you are already there, I applaud you. If not, realize that it may take some time to figure out what you really want to do, and even more time to actually get there. That’s all right! I can tell you from experience that finding and doing what you love is absolutely worth it, every step of the way. All of the research, training, and hands-on experience has made me a stronger, happier person. Feeling in charge of my own destiny…well, there just is no greater feeling. Do what you love, and love what you do, whatever that may be. You’ll be happier for it, trust me. I promise you will never look back.

         
    Don t be a slave to your things

     

    Do you have things like a bicycle, jetski, or swimming pool that sit unused? Is it that you don't have time to use them because you have to work so much just to pay for them? Sometimes it seems like all the things we own somehow own us. The bad news is that it's often true. We have to arrange our lives around our things. You get a new truck that can go anywhere, but you're too busy working to go there. Someone is out fishing while you are putting in overtime to pay for your fishing boat. You use your large-screen television a lot, but does it sufficiently reduce the debt-stress that came with it? Break The Chains! The good news is that there's a better way. Actually, there are three better ways. First, know what you really value. Second, use cash instead of debt. Third, learn how to look at costs and benefits. Will you really enjoy that $2,000 mountain bicycle enough? Maybe. This isn't about right or wrong desires. It's a question of truly seeing your own values. Think back to things you've bought but not used, or not used enough. What truly enjoyable things could you do with that money if you had it now? You've got to be self aware and honest. Cash is king. The price may seem the same, but put those things on a credit card and, with interest, you'll pay a lot more. Cash means you have to save and wait a little for things, but you can buy more and have less stress. Credit cards provide the illusion of a richer life. Escaping debt gives you the reality. Finally, learn to understand costs and benefits. A friend once came to the realization, using pen and paper, that his jetski cost him $300 for every hour he used it the first year. Loan interest, gas, insurance, depreciation, repairs, licenses - these things add up. And he thought it was too expensive to pay $100 per day to rent one! Consider the real costs of things, and look for a cheaper way, or at least make an honest decision that it's worth $300 per hour to you. Your things should be making your life better. If they aren't, you need to start looking at them differently. Don't let your things own you. Change your approach.

         
    Don t be a victim of the people pleasing quadrant

     

    People pleasing can be a defeating habit in a person’s life, simply because the act itself takes your focus off what you CAN control, and puts your focus on to what you CAN’T control, which is somebody else’s happiness and peace of mind. Here is a perfect example to illustrate my point: If you buy your lover flowers, and they come home to tell you they just received a raise at work – the flowers you give them are just going to add to their joy, and you are going to have a wonderful evening. However, if you buy your lover flowers, and they come home to tell you they just got fired from work – they may look at the flowers and give a quick smile just to acknowledge you and quickly go back to sulking – or worse, they may be hateful and yell, “WHAT GOOD ARE FLOWERS GOING TO DO ME NOW?!?!? ARE THEY HIRING FLORISTS?!?!” Of course, this is common sense – but it is a perfect example of why people pleasing doesn’t work 100% of the time. You will never be able to predict what kind of mood anyone is going to be in all the time, simply because things will always happen outside of our control. Consequently, your happiness or misery is in the other person’s hands, which puts you into a very vulnerable position. I have developed what I call, “The People Pleasing Quadrant” to broaden readers awareness of what people-pleasing is, and what to do once those people-pleasing tendencies rear their ugly heads. Quadrant means “four” which means there are four different situations you will find yourself in that you will need to develop strategies to combat your people-pleasing tendencies. The four situations are as follows: Quadrant # 1: Dealing with the people you like or love when those people ALSO like or love you in return: This first quadrant is the easiest to manage, because at least you genuinely like or love the person you are dealing with, and they like or love you as well. However, remember the example we used above about the lover losing their job and the flowers? No matter how much you like or love someone, or how much they like or love you, bad things happen sometimes. We all say things we don’t mean. The trick is to not take the people you care about personally, and feel responsible for “fixing” them. Let the person you like and love be hurt, angry, mad, and upset. It doesn’t have to affect your core happiness, although you can sympathize with the person and let them know you will be there for them, if they want to talk. Besides, this person cares about you – and they don’t want to drag you down, just because they are having a bad day. Give them a little space, and let things sort themselves out. Spend your energy focusing on more productive ventures, such as going for a jog to get in shape, studying for an important test, or reading a book that is of interest to you. People-pleasing is really annoying to people who like or love you already. They don’t expect you to make everything better, they just need some time to get over it. Quadrant # 2: Dealing with the people you like or love when those people DON’T like or love you in return: The second quadrant is oftentimes the most painful quadrant to come to terms with, regardless if it is about a “friend,” family member, or lover. Once in a great while, we can like or even love someone who doesn’t like or love us in return. We do everything in our power to be “good” enough, “supportive” enough, “encouraging” enough, “kind” enough, whatever enough! But somehow, it is never enough, and it never will be. Once in awhile, these people we like or love are nice to us out of pity, guilt, regret or remorse – or because we are fulfilling some kind of need for them that they don’t want to give up. Don’t mistake their temporary kindness as genuine concern! Because honestly, these people don’t like or love us at all. It could be for a variety of reasons, but those reasons don’t have anything to do with you. The trick for getting over people-pleasing in this quadrant is to realize what quadrant these people belong in, and come to terms with the fact that they don’t like or love you. On the other hand, realize that there are millions of other people out here who would absolutely adore you. Realize that you are wasting your valuable and precious time with people pleasing, especially in this quadrant, because no matter what you do, it won’t matter. Just move on to someone who will like, love and appreciate the beautiful person you are. Quadrant # 3: Dealing with the people you DON’T like or love when those people DO like or love you. Most of the people-pleasing in this quadrant comes out of guilt, pity or personal gain. Although I must admit, it is really hard not to like someone who likes you, but you may be able to definitely see that the other person likes or loves you WAY more than you like or love them. I believe my grandmother taught me a very gracious lesson about how to handle situations in quadrant three. One day, a boy who just moved into my neighborhood decided to ask me out on a date. He really had a crush on me, and I could tell. However, I didn’t feel the same way about him. But I did enjoy all of the flowers, candy and attention he gave me. At the time, I didn’t see anything wrong with taking whatever he was willing to give. But my grandmother pulled me aside and told me why it wasn’t nice to encourage gestures and lead a person on, especially when I knew his intentions. Of course, I liked him as a person because he was so sweet. But the truth of the matter is, he was wasting his time courting me when I wasn’t interested. Although I could have continued to use him, I went with granny’s advice and politely told him that I could no longer accept gifts because I was not interested in dating anyone at that time. However, we decided to be friends and did fun things together on occasion. He found a new girlfriend who truly adored him to pieces, and fell in love with her. The last I heard, they were planning to get married. The moral of the story is, he was a sweetheart, and deserved to find someone who liked and loved him. It would be selfish of me to stand in the way of that. Quadrant # 4: Dealing with the people you DON’T like when they DON’T like you either! A person will rarely find themselves in this quadrant when it comes to their personal life, unless it has to do with Ex-Lovers or step families. Otherwise, you can just get up and walk away, which is why quadrant four is reserved mostly for the work place and figures of authority! People-pleasing in this quadrant reflects suppressed feelings, and putting up with a lot of emotional, mental and verbal abuse. It can be because you are afraid of losing your job or because you are afraid of the person themselves. In situations like this, it is always best to get a third party involved, because for one reason or another – you are forced to deal with this person, and they are forced to deal with you. Neither one of you are going to be able to compromise about a reasonable solution on your own, because both of you don’t care what is in the other’s best interest! There needs to be a mediator who can look at the situation objectively on neutral ground, and come up with a reasonable solution. Don’t be afraid to be the bigger person and ask for outside help. It is the only way the conflict will be resolved. In matters dealing with the family, it may be best to go to counseling, join a support group, or bring a person from the outside into the situation. Remember, your goal is to conserve energy, and focus on how you can change things, and make them head in a positive direction. Be a part of the solution, not the problem. If everyone else wants to wallow in their misery and problems, you can let them do just that. But you can choose something different. In closing, when you eliminate people pleasing in your life for good – it is always great to have the awareness that you only have a one in four shot of really hitting it off with somebody special! (In case you were wondering, that one shot lies within people who are in Quadrant number one!) If you go into each situation expecting the best, but prepared for the worse – you will always come out on top. But most importantly, be yourself! There is no point going through life pretending to think and feel a certain way just to please other people. Besides that, you won’t have the opportunity to attract the people in your life who would really like or love the person you truly are! Another tidbit I’d like to share out of granny’s little treasure chest of knowledge, wisdom and experience. She always use to say, “Rhiannon, there are three types of people in this world. There are givers and there are takers. But once in a great while, you will be fortunate enough to find a person who is capable of doing both.” I hope this article will encourage you to be a person who can do both.

         
    Don t dig your own pit

     

    If you want to enjoy your life out of spending, enjoy if you have you have your own resources and money. But don't enjoy your life by becoming a debtor to somebody. Of course in the modern world, there are many ways and means, which force you to become a debtor. Attractive advertisements in the satellite TV force you to become a debtor. It tempts you to buy the modern amenities at any cost. Even though if you don't have any money or resources it show you many resources for obtaining credit to buy that product. But you must think thousand times before becoming a debtor. In today's world credit is the easily available commodity. Numerous companies are waiting to pull you in their trap. They are competing severely to pull you in their trap. But you must be careful to entangle in that trap. In spite of this caution if you are prepared to enjoy, then you won't get any pleasure, but you will lose your peace of mind. Let us discuss about the common desire of everybody. It is natural that every body wants to have their own house. It is a reasonable desire. But the desire can be attained if you have enough money on your own to buy the house. If you are an executive working in a company what will be your thinking? You will ready to apply for some loan and buy that house. You have decided and applied for a loan also and the loan has also been sanctioned. You will ask the engineer to construct the house with in the sanction of loan. The Engineer on seeing the plan will say "Sir, you are constructing house once in your lifetime, why such a low budget house, we can increase slightly your plan sir, it won't cost much only a 10% increase in your normal budget" he will tempt you. By that time you will also have some Himalayan courage, and think why we can't adjust that 10% increase, ok we can adjust that 10% increase by obtaining loan from our relatives, and you give consent to the engineer's suggestion. The Engineer will begin to build your house. The house is also going to be completed soon and only some finishing work is there. You ask your engineer 'when can I take possession of the house', sir? The engineer will politely tell you, Sir, there is a small problem, the problem is there is a sudden increase in the cost of materials, so I fear whether it is possible to complete the building what we have already planned. But you are in the dream that the house should be constructed at any cost. So you don't bother about the resource to complete the house and prepared to arrange for the money required for completing the house. What you will do. The next thing before you will be some bank balances available out of your savings and the jewels of your wife or your children. So your savings, jewels will all go from you and fill the cashbox of another businessmen. Your house will become ready finally. On seeing the house raised beautifully you forgot all the sources where the money came from to complete the house. You will forget about the loan you obtained from your company. You will forget about the loan you obtained from your relatives. You will forget about the erosion of your savings and jewels. All these will come to your remembrance only when the company commences their recovery for the loan you obtained. All these will come to your remembrance only when your relatives need the money they paid. All these will come to your remembrance when you don't have enough money in your savings account for your urgent requirement. Then your mind will think about the resource to fill up the deficit in the family budget, the loan to repay to your relatives and for your urgent requirement. You will get easy resource to fill up this deficit, because you are working in a company, getting regular salary, higher salarypanies are ready to give credit. You are also ready to get credit from another company to fill up the deficit. So you are ready to close the small debt pit, and begin to dig another debt pit, which is little more in size than the first pit. The same deficit pressure mounts after some time. Again you are prepared to obtain loan from another company. Now you dig another debt pit, which is more than the size of first and second debt pit. Like this you will go on digging pit after closing the earlier pit to overcome your deficit. Finally at one stage when you see the remaining pit, it will look like a deep pit, which you cannot fill it up from any source. So the ultimate choice before you will be to dispose off the house and fill up the huge pit finally stands before you. You have also made arrangements to dispose off the house. One person came forward to buy the house. Even though the rate offered by him is not as expected by you, you have no other option except to get the money and fill it up the debt pit. The house was finally sold off and you got the money. But while working out the amount you have to settle to your debtors, you need some more money. However with the proceeds realized out of selling the house, you have settled most of the debt and still keep some portion of the debt. You have lost all your savings, jewels, and other resources and still you have to settle more debts? Where all of your money has gone? It is no secret, most part of your debt were for the interest. The interest made you to close one pit and dig another pit and finally you was let with a big pit with most part of the pit were for interest. This is a common plight of most of the families especially in the middle class peoples. The reason is due to their mental capability to enjoy all modern amenities without knowing their economic capability. Enjoying the life is absolutely necessary but it should be from our own resources. We can enjoy the life but not on obtaining debt. We have to increase our resources to enjoy the life. We should find out the opportunities to increase our resources and then think about enjoying the amenities.

         
    Easy ways to a better life

     

    Want a better life? Big changes are difficult, and take time, but there are many easy steps you can take right now. Take many steps, even small ones, and pretty soon you're getting somewhere. A Better Life Today It's easy just to look, right? Start looking for specific ways to make your life better, and to improve yourself. Even if you don't accomplish anything immediately, you are preparing yourself. Thinking about change sets your mind and your motivation in motion. You're not looking for an excuse to avoid difficult tasks, but you wouldn't expect to quit cigarettes, alcohol, caffeine and complaining all at once, right? Just make things better today, in any small way. Seeing results will motivate you for the more difficult steps. Consider some of the following simple actions. 1. Write down some things you'd like to change. This makes the possibility more real, and gets your mind working. Eventually you can make this "wish list" into real goals, with a specific plan. 2. Close your eyes and breath deeply through your nose, whenever you feel stressed. Stress is one of the biggest impediments to a better life. Simple stress-manangemnet techniques like this can help a lot, if you make them a habit. 3. List the good things you've got. This may seem trite, but a good mood makes life better. Ever buy a van and start seeing vans everywhere? The same thing happens when you buy an idea. Imagine how it will affect your frame of mind to start seeing good things everywhere. I could go on, but I don't know what your goals and needs are. The point here is to get you thinking, and then taking whatever actions you can. If you thought about the whole process, you might never build a house, but it's easy to nail one board in place, right? (And then one more, and one more...)

         
    Emotional baggage

     

    We all have them. It has many faces. We carry them around us, We store them in the remotest part of our brain, in the deepest chambers of our hearts. We have them in our extensive database of memories. Some are so close to the heart, it brings out tears at the slightest provocation. Others may feel anger, very deep resentments and may exhibit anti-social or antagonistic behaviours. Shadows follow and haunt many, in their dreams or waking hours, in unlikely places, unexpected and intimidating. Uncontrollable anger that can lead to violence can explode without warning. Others will live in denial and spend their lives disconnected with the real world. Some will find blame in everyone except themselves; it’s always the other person’s fault. What about victims and the victimizers? Many are lost searching for something, they can not identify. Something is missing. A mass of lonely faces line the crowded streets, sit in public places, in schools, agonize through the day in the workplace, gather at churches perhaps to seek solace. Everyday. we see a vast sea of sad , depressed and unfriendly faces. Our roads are open avenues to lash out their frustrations, thus uncontollable road rage. Scary. Emotional excess baggage demands a high price at times. There are those who succumb to the weight of this burden, it gets too much to bear. They find no further reason to keep up the fight. Life loses its lustre, they find the world cruel, their existence meaningless. To them, the fight over, if there ever was one. There are many who go through life like a driftwood, l et the current take them wherever, it does not matter anymore. Is our world this cruel? What causes these emotional suffering? Broken dreams, broken relationships, failed careers, lost hopes, betrayals, violations, childhood trauma, or other forms of trauma, add to this health issues. Social disgrace, financial disasters, poverty and addictions cast deep emotional scars to the most vulnerable members of the family and society. Is our fast-paced society to blame? Add to this the pursuit of material success, endless toys, gadgets and exponential advances in technology. Fragile relationships, weakening family ties, unreasonable expectations of self and of others add to the already overstuffed emotional baggage. Some carry them for a long, long time. All is not lost, if we take a moment to listen to our deeper needs, beyond the physical. There is a flood of information, organizations, professionals and other resources most communities offer. Deep emotional suffering is a critical issue that can no longer be ignored, by society and by those who suffer. There is more to life. Wisdom of the ages from different cultures and beliefs are revived or revised to suit the present psyche of society. It offers a holistic approach , involving the whole person’s mind, body and spirit. The wonders of medical and scientific research are vast, although pill-popping is not always the best answer. Take stock of the weight of your emotional baggage .

         
    Facing problems in healing the hidden self

     

    If a challenging situation happens in an individual’s life when he or she begins to develop negative thoughts. When this happens, the person often starts to blame self or others, which the self-denial could result to an emotionally disturbance. Into the bargain, energy, strength and dynamism are all arrivals from the conscious mind, yet when disturbances develop, these dynamic energies start to flop. Today, the charts are overriding the count of people that deal with emotional problems that causes unbalance. A range of medical and non-medical rehabilitation solutions have been recently introduced to make the processes of self-healing more effective. Meditation is one of the most unbeaten treatments, which has reaped popularity. The advantages of meditation are unmatchable to many other strategies used in the past to encourage healing the hidden self. Meditation can help with generating power of the mind. Mediation contributes in curing any illness and in the process, energy is produced, which aids in keeping the therapeutic processes of the body and mind working smoothly. Of course, we have other natural options that can assist us with healing the hidden self. Some of the top picks are the Ayurveda, or the latest naturopathy. Acupressure is very popular and diverse other natural treatments have contributed a great deal in self-healing. This includes the healing of the inner or hidden self. In fact, these therapies have motivated people’s thinking both spiritually and mentally. The hidden self when motivated can assist with curing the mind and body devoid of any side effects. Other natural healing solutions have proved some worth as well. Some of the oldest, yet new solutions include biofeedback. Biofeedback works with monitoring systems to regulate body functions, such as the heart rate, blood pressure, et cetera. According to experts if we have the power to regulate our body functions, thus it can assist us with self-healing the hidden self. Neurofeedback is another alternative that has proven to assist with healing the hidden self. Neurofeedback programs have encouraged motivation, inspiration, relaxation, and much more. In fact, we are encouraged to relax often to give the body and mind room to heal. Despite that all of these natural products, programs and solutions has proven to assist with healing the hidden self, it is in fact proven that meditation is ultimately the better choice. Of course, some people find it difficult to meditate, so they will use other solutions, such as the Neurofeedback to encourage relaxation and meditation. Another natural source is the aromatherapy solutions for healing. Aromatherapy has several types of aromas, which are intended for particular purposes. You can go online to discover the fragrances. Moreover, which aromas can assist you with healing self? Moreover, you may benefit from subliminal learning. By learning how to explore your subliminal mind you can accomplish any goal you set for yourself. We all go through challenges each day. Some of us go through more problems than others do, but each of us has the power within to manage the volume of stress we face. If you are overwhelmed with stress, your best bet is to set up a stress management solution, and then start practicing natural healing techniques, such as mediation daily to take back control of your life. If your stress is coming from pain, perhaps you can benefit from pain management. Perhaps a combination of biofeedback, Neurofeedback, massage therapy, meditation, aromatherapy, et cetera can do you some good. Don’t rely on unnatural remedies to relax pain, rather practice pain healing the natural way. Go online to learn more solutions for dealing with common problems.

         
    Faithful emotions

     

    : The original article contains an image of a sad clown. This can be found on my blog through my website. The sad clown attracts us and evokes a feeling of sadness and compassion. Have you ever noticed that the sadness and compassion really feels like it is for you? Often we live our suppressed emotional experiences through some other external situation, mainly entertainment. Once we’re in a safe environment, it’s okay to let it out. Except, you’ve buried so many emotions, you’re not sure what is left unexpressed. It can derail you at any time, upsetting your equilibrium, setting the waterworks at the drop of a hat, and blazing the rage with a tiny spark. Consider a new way of being in this world; a way that allows the expression and understanding of your emotions. Imagine being present for others who are enmeshed in difficult times, barely coping to keep their emotions in check. What healing can occur! What strength will be gained! What friendship and loyalty will be developed! What team support will be developed! What courage will be found!

    • If we’re human, then what does it mean to be human?
    • If we’re spirit, then what does it mean to be spirit?
    • If we’re emotions, then what does it mean to be feelings?
    • If we’re the mind, then what does it mean to be thoughts?
    • If we’re soul, then what does it mean to be soulful?
    I believe we are spiritual beings having a physical, human experience. Within in that context, we experience many things on many levels. Could it be that this is what it means to be a multi-dimensional being? I’m not interested in empirical evidence and succinct clarity; I’m interested in the experience of being and life. The complexity of existence and the human entity absolutely requires an element of faith and trust in an inner core that cannot be defined by science.

         
    Feel those feelings and develop emotional intelligence

     

    There is an old joke about a man who is walking home along the street in the early hours of a weekend and he sees another man, who is obviously very drunk, on his hands and knees, searching for something. “What are you looking for?” he asks the drunked man. “My house keys” the man replies. “Where did you drop them?” he asks. “Two streets away” he slurs. “Why aren’t you looking there then”, he asks, puzzled. “Because the light’s much better here.” Now, during my initial training and learning, I was quite unsure about myself in many ways! Yes, even me, some may say that I have gone rather extremely the other direction now! I tried lots of the things I learned with self-hypnosis and different aspects of the standard NLP approaches to overcome this uncertainty and lack of confidence in my ability to do what I wanted to do, but none of them seemed to work for me. I still got the butterflies in my tummy and lacked a real sense of confidence, in fact I felt nervous about doing what I wanted to do (what if it all went wrong and I failed!!). I had spent some time fighting the anxious feeling, then one day I said to myself “Adam, just experience it, stop resisting it, stop fighting it; just feel it” and an amazing thing happened. I felt the nervous feeling, then it disappeared! I was shocked. All those previous months and years of fighting it, and all that I really needed to do was to feel it. I acknowledged it and stopped resisting. Doing this is to heighten your own awareness of your own map of the world. One of the presuppositions of NLP is ‘meet people at their map of the world’. This is a process of seeing things from their point of view or being aware of their experience and is a far depper discussion for another time. Now, I was fine at doing this with other people and my successful therapeutic consultancy is over the years has been solid proof to me of that, but before all that started, all those years ago, I suddenly realised that I had not been meeting myself at my map of the world. Whenever I felt feelings that I did not like, I would struggle, resist and fight them, and you know what they say: When you fight with yourself, someone always loses, and that someone is you. So I decided to stop fighting and resisting my feelings and instead to acknowledge them and start working with them. WHere am I going with all this then? If there is a feeling that you find unpleasant or that seems unhelpful or that you just plain don’t like, firstly, map out the feeling. This is just a process of identifying where in your body that feeling is, really locate that feeling in your body. Now think about what size it is, how it moves; I used to have a fluttering feeling in the pit of my tummy that as I reisted it more would spread into my chest and back down again. Really be aware of the feeling physiologically, even think about what temperature it is, you can even take it a step further and think about what colour it would be if it had one etc. While most people profess to know what they are feeling, you would be amazed at how many people have not got in the slightest bit acquainted with the physical characteristics of the emotions they are experiencing, they just let them happen passively without really getting an awareness of them. Emotions are physical (they are chemicals and all sorts of other things too), so the first step is to map out that physicality. Next up, accept the feeling. Become OK with the fact that you are feeling it. For more on how to accept things in your life, again, dig out the article from a previous edition of "Adam Up" that was all about that, it is there in the archive on my website. Of course, this can be a bit of a struggle for some people, who will no doubt say “But I don’t want to feel it” or “I shouldn’t be feeling it.” I know some of you are thinking that. So here is the thing: you are feeling it, and if you want to change the feelings quickly, the most expedient way to do it is to meet yourself at your map of the world and accept that presenting feeling that you are having. If you refuse to do this, then you are just resisting it or fighting it as I was doing back then. Then any attempt to change it will involve starting from where you aren’t, and that rarely works out well (as our tipsy man looking for his keys on the wrong street can attest to.) Then, you find the positive intent. What is your body or your unconscious trying to tell you? Sometimes feelings have a message of some sort for us. Other times, they’re just sensations that our body has some purpose for feeling. What (if anything) is this feeling doing for you or trying to tell you? Then; feel it. Just feel it. Be sure not to struggle or fight, just feel it. Remember to breathe too ;-) You don’t have to do this for long, but it is really good to feel something. Even if it feels bad, the fact that you can feel it means that you are alive (woo-hoo!) and it also means that you are in touch with how you feel. These are both good things to be able to acknowledge and realise within yourself. Often, just accepting and realising a feeling is putting it in a vast different perspective. The final part of this process is to then play with the feeling. Increase the feeling’s intensity. The reduce it. If it was one colour, make it another, if it was moving in a certain direction, move it in another, if it was a certain size, enlarge it or make it smaller, basically, have a play with it and discover just how much influence you have over this feeling. I think you will be surprised when you realise just how much influcence you really do have. One of the things you’ll begin to find as you start to experience is just how much it’s possible for you to get a handle on your feelings. You may well discover for yourself that feelings aren’t true or false. They don’t really mean anything. They are just sensations that you are experiencing in your body. If you resist them, they’ll be there for some time, but if you accept them, you can start to play with them and change them. Does this mean you’ll not have a bad feeling ever again? No. Feelings will come and feelings will go, but what it does mean is that you can start to have more and more of the sorts of feelings you want to have. I know that whatever you are wanting to do in life, you'll be wanting to punctuate your life with more and more good feelings, am I right? So, enjoy your day today and make sure that you are spreading some good feelings into your life.

         
    Find happiness by giving happiness

     

    Have you ever heard this quote? “There is a wonderful, mystical law of nature that the three things we crave most in life - happiness, freedom, and peace of mind - are always attained by giving them to someone else.” It’s so true, isn’t it? I don’t know who it was who first said those wise words (if you do know then please tell me), but I have no doubt they lived a very happy life, because they have discovered one of the secrets to happiness. In fact, the secret to success in all endeavours is found in this quote. No matter what you desire, give first and you will receive. If you want to receive love, then give love. Not exclusively to one person, but to everyone and everything. Express love to your life, your circumstances, your friends and family, and even the people you pass in the street. If you love all, you will receive love back, and you’ll become the kind of person who attracts that special person, and those special relationships, and a life of blissful love. If you want to get rich then don’t do it through the dog-eat-dog world of competition and win-lose deals. Give increased value to others. Wallace D. Wattles talks about this in his book Science Of Getting Rich better than anyone else I’ve come across (see the Resources Page on my website to get a free copy). You get rich by providing more in use-value than the cash-value you receive. You get rich through co-operation rather than competition. You get rich through providing win-win deals. You get rich through providing others with the opportunities to improve their own lives. Once again, give and you will receive so much more back. The same applies to happiness. If you want to be happy, give happiness. Turn your focus around. It’s not all about you. Look out into the world and find opportunities to give happiness. James Matthew Barrie said, “Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves.” The great Mark Twain said, “The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.” Give happiness and you will get happiness. It’s the only way. Who can you make happy today? Who can you go and see, just to hang out together? Who can you phone to tell them you miss them? It doesn’t take much. Smile to someone who is feeling down. Hold a door open for someone behind youpliment someone on their clothing. Thank someone for a job well done at work. Happiness is so easy. Just give it to someone else, and you’ll find more than enough is magically left behind for you. Give happiness. Be happy. And smile! Lance Beggs Copyright Lance Beggs. All Rights Reserved.

         
     
         
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