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    Learn to face difficulty

     

    "It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that they are difficult." -- Seneca the Younger This is a great quote to both contemplate and to apply to your life. How often do you hear people complain? Pick a topic-love, friendship, careers, etc. The list of issues that people complain about is endless. You and I are no different. Perhaps we don't complain about each of these things but more than likely there is something that we complain about with great regularity. Now, sometimes complaints are simply a way to vent some frustration at the moment but we don't really want anything to change in this area. However, more often than not, someone regularly complains about one specific problem If I had a dollar for every time I heard one friend complain about the difficulty of finding a good man I could throw her a huge wedding bash or perhaps simply buy her a husband in some small third-world country. When I thought about my friend Donna's problem and applied Seneca's quote to it a light bulb suddenly appeared above my head just like in the cartoons! It was true! Donna is having difficulty finding a good man simply because she isn't daring enough. Sure she goes out on dates and tries to maintain an active social life, however she holds herself aloof emotionally. She isn't willing to dare much at all when it comes to her heart-so how can she hope that someone else will do so for her? Sure, there might be someone, somewhere, but she is also missing out on relationships, at least friendships, with some really great guys simply because she is too afraid to dare to care. That is sad. We all know that love is marvelous but it is also frightening, however we have to take risks in order to experience it fully. Sometimes we might get hurt however more often than not we will find the rewards outweigh the risks. There is no guarantee that is Donna opens herself up and dares to love that she will find the love of her life-however there is certainly a guarantee that a life filled with love is more rewarding than one that is not. I have another friend who is also afraid to dare. Jeff hates his job. No, that's not exactly right. He loves the work itself but he really hates the company that he works for. He finds the management very difficult to work for (and if even a small percentage of the stories he tells are true then he's right, it is a horrible place to work). However, every time I suggest he look for a job somewhere else he comes up with some excuse about how difficult it would be. True the job market isn't great, but he's a skilled worker in a high-demand field so I'm sure he could find something. He's doomed his job search before he even started it because he's not daring enough. It wouldn't be fair to share my friends' examples without pointing to my own shortcomings. Probably the greatest difficulty in my own life is within my marriage and that is simply because I don't dare enough emotionally there. I have become too complaisant and take my husband and marriage for granted. I need to dare more emotionally. So think about the difficulties in your own life and apply Seneca's rule then decide if you can be more daring! All the best!

         
    Learn to love growth and change and you will be a success

     

    Do you want to be even more successful? Learn to love learning and growth. The more effort you put into improving your skills, the bigger the payoff you will get. Realize that things will be hard at first, but the rewards will be worth it. Many of us have to be reminded that almost everything worthwhile in our lives is hard at first. Learning to walk was hard at first, but gradually we learned and now it is effortless. The same holds true for our more advanced skills such as, sports, music, art, etc. We forget these past struggles to learn and take them for granted now. When most people begin to try something for the first time, it usually doesn’t turn out particularly well. It doesn’t mean we are bad, or stupid, or anything like that, it just means that most things of any complexity take awhile to learn. Given this, the surprising thing is how most people react when they begin to learn a new skill and it does not go well. Most people at that point feel such things as surprise, anger, frustration, and so on. We forget that the expression “beginners luck” means that doing something well at first is a fluke. We forget it isn’t supposed to be easy; it is almost against the laws of nature for something to be good at first. So what is a more positive way to handle the difficulties we will encounter when we are learning something new? We should take the attitude that we are supposed to fail at first, that is the way the system works. We should look for a way to find fascination with the process, and build enjoyment of the ups and downs into the process. We need to recognize the difficulties we will face and build them into the time and effort we plan on expending on the project. This is one place in your life where a healthy dose of pessimism will pay off. Just planning for difficulty will take much of the negative emotions we feel in these situations away. Lets look at another situation where we encounter difficulty at first. Almost anything involving change is very hard for us to incorporate into our lives at first. One of my favorite expressions regarding change is “the only kind of change we like, is the change in our pocket.” Making the decision to change is easy, it is just a decision. Staying changed is hard. We want to fall back to our old ways; we are discouraged, uncomfortable and so on. One again we are learning something new and it helps to build this into our plan for change. In addition to learning to enjoy the process as above, we can add another element to help us through learning something new or the change process. We can keep reviewing the goal we are seeking, the payoff, etc. and continually tell ourselves that the pain is temporary, but the payoff is permanent. We need to take the pain and frustration and deal with it minute by minute, telling ourselves to hang on, hang on, we can make it. Life is a series of minutes we can make it through. Many people use visualization techniques to help them learn a new skill or deal with change. They “daydream” or use guided imagery to see themselves going through the process of learning or change and attaining the goal. A person on a diet can see himself f becoming thinner and thinner, easing the pain and giving them the sense they can do it. The same with a new skill such as golf. They see themselves hitting the ball, in just the right way, and they see the golf ball going right where they want it. A word of caution regarding using visualization to learn a new skill. The technique is very, very powerful and you will tend to perform exactly like you visualized it, so if you visualize the wrong technique, chances are you will actually perform the wrong technique. So be very sure of the proper technique before you used visualization to help you master it. One last point. I have stressed the need to recognize that new things will be hard to learn at first. While this “negative” view is helpful, it must be balanced with a positive outlook for the whole project. Plan and expect problems at first, but also plan and expect that you will eventually master the situation. Planning for a positive outcome will help give you the willpower to see the situation through and enable things that are needed to move you ahead to appear when they are needed. Remember if we expect good things, we tend to get good things.

         
    Lighten your load

     

    Do you feel like a pack mule carrying around a heavy load? It is no wonder we are always exhausted with the load most of us carry. It’s not only the physical stuff we carry but also the emotional and mental load of the stuff we carry in our heads. Everyday when I go to work I see people burdened down by backpacks, briefcases, laptop cases, purses, bags, rolling carts and more! Why is everyone always carrying so much stuff? Maybe you job is such that you have to take all that paperwork home with you every night. But do you work on it or are you too exhausted? So then what happens? You carry it back to work the next day! We bring laptops home to work on them but do we? You carry your workout clothes, water bottle, cd’s, books, extra shoes and a ton of other stuff “just in case”. Ask yourself how you would feel if you didn’t have all this stuff with you everyday? How is your home? Lots of stuff there too? Are you a pack rat saving things for a rainy day? Magazines stacking up for the day you have time to read them? Clothes hanging in the closet that you haven’t worn in years? Boxes of stuff packed away that you don’t even know what is them anymore? Junk mail piling up on the counter? Having lots of stuff around you clutters your mind. It starts to overwhelm you and you don’t know where to start. You start to worry about it, what to do with it, where to put it. Pretty soon you can even think about it anymore and then it just continues to get worse. Then there is the emotional baggage you might be carrying. Anger, depression, financial concerns, relationships, employment can all add to an already heavy load. If you start to deal with these issues you may find it is easier to deal with the other clutter in your life. At the same time you may find getting rid of the physical clutter will help your emotional and mental load. Start to lighten your load by making a list. What is the number one thing you could do to lighten your load? Next outline the steps you need to take to start reducing the clutter in your life. Break it down into small steps such as cleaning out one closet, not the whole house. Sell off, giveaway or throw out the stuff you no longer need. Have a garage sale or sell off stuff on ebay. Use the money you earn for treating yourself to a day at a spa. Make a vow not to keep carrying the same stuff back and forth to the office. Once you start to lighten your load you will feel like you have more energy, clearer thoughts and a happier outlook on life. You will no longer have to worry about all that stuff that has been cluttering your life. You will find you can travel farther in life with a lighter load.

         
    Little things do make a difference

     

    : Think back over your life. Think about the people that had a positive influence on you. If your past was like mine, many of them didn’t realize the impact they made. The influence was usually due to them caring about you and doing some little thing. What little things have been done for you that changed your life? What little things have you done for someone else that might have changed theirs? I have been influenced by little things done by others. I had a boss that asked whether I had the guts to take a job he felt I could do. It was a job I wasn’t even qualified to apply for. That question influenced me to set my career goals at a higher level and faster pace than they were at that time. When I attended my first Toastmasters meeting the group made me feel welcome from the moment I set foot in the room. One person made it a point to introduce me to several members before the first meeting started. Another leaned over to me on my second visit, just before my first speech, to let me know what to expect and to let me know I would do great. I am grateful to both of them. Children can influence us as well. A great example of this happened to me at a Cub Scout summer camp here in my hometown of Fredericksburg, Virginia. For those of you who are not familiar with Cub Scouts, the boys range from 1st through 5th grade. I showed up on the morning of the first day of camp just to make sure everything went smooth for our group. We got everyone registered for the week’s events, set up a canopy where the scouts and leaders could get under some shade for lunch and then headed to the flagpole. At the flagpole, all of the camp participants said the Pledge of Allegiance and then the camp leader started to give instructions. In the middle of the instructions, one of the 1st grade boys tugged on my pant leg. When I looked down at him, he had the biggest smile on his face. He said, "Mr. Carr, I’m having a really good time" and he meant it! They hadn’t even started their first camp activity yet. At that moment, I knew all of the hours I put in as a scout leader were well worth it. I have found that we can influence others by doing little things for them. You can influence others by providing help when it is needed. When I say provide help, I am not just talking about offering to help. Most people will not take you up on an offer even if they desperately need it. I remember taking food to a couple that was sick. This was not anyone I knew. It was a friend of someone that was in my Sunday school class. Two years later they saw me, thanked me and told me how much that meant to them. They even remembered my name after two years! Another way I have helped was to provide advice to coworkers that now refer to me as their mentor. Also, to help families pack up a truck to move. Some of these families are friends of ours today even though they live several states away. Another way I have found that you can influence others is by saying "thank you." I don’t think I ever realized the power of saying thank you until a few months ago. I was at a professional symposium in Northern Virginia. I was one of the symposium leaders. During a lunch break, I stayed in the room where one of the classes was being given to watch all of the personal belongings of the students while they were at lunch. During the break, three of the hotel workers came into the room to fill water pitchers and put out clean glasses. One of the workers was obviously a mentally challenged person that was hired to help. His job was to put the clean glasses on the tables. When he serviced the table I was sitting at I said a simple "thank you." I will never forget the look on his face. I could have told him he won the lottery and he couldn’t have looked any more excited! Even after they left the room to go to the next, I could still hear him shouting as loud as he could about the "nice man." Writing notes is a third way you can potentially influence others. I started writing thank you notes a couple of years ago (for reasons other than receiving a gift). I have been thanked over and over for some of these notes of appreciation and told I didn’t have to do that. I have recently learned and started using at times a new way of writing notes. I learned it from Charlie "Tremendous" Jones who has since encouraged me to pass this method along to others. Purchase some inexpensive, inspirational books that have had a positive impact on you. Write an encouraging note inside the cover of one of those books and give it to the person. You will feel good doing it, reading the book will change the person, and they will think of you every time they read it. What a powerful gesture! Start today doing little things for others. I can look back over my past and remember several moments in time that God used someone doing a little thing that encouraged me. I have also heard from others that have been influenced by me for doing the same. There are many kinds of little things you can do to encourage others. Some of these involve providing help when there is a need, saying thank you, and writing notes. What are you going to do today for someone that will make a difference in his or her life?

         
    Living in the now use it to enrich your life

     

    At about this time of year, some months after New Year’s resolutions have been made and kept, or made and neglected, one thing is undeniable: we have a chance to learn and grow every day, no matter what we did not do yesterday or neglected to do last week. Make Use of This Moment Making use of this moment, of the NOW, is a principle that stress management experts, psycho-therapists, meditators, and many authors such as Dr. Wayne Dyer, Jon Kabat-Zinn, and Eckhart Tolle have been talking and writing about for years. The only moment, the only life we have is in the NOW. What happened a few moments or several years ago is gone, what will happen this evening, or next month when we go on holidays is not here yet. Thus, if we live our lives thinking about past events or future possibilities, we are literally not living our life. Developing Flow Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi wrote a wonderful little book “Finding Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience” which addresses the issue of the importance of remaining in the moment, of the inestimable value we can find in those activities that cause us to “go into flow”, or lose our sense of time. When you discover what those activities are in your life, they need to be developed. Is it music, writing, or painting, or another creative activity? Is it being outdoors and practicing some kind of sport? Is it working on your computer or editing digital movies? Perhaps you are an avid reader, observer of documentaries about the hunch-backed camel, or participant in the Dakar rally and spend all year preparing. Whatever it is, cultivate it, make it expand in your life, and use it to enrich yourself. These activities are priceless ways of being – and remaining - in the now. But that is not all. Nurture the Now at All Times Being in the now needs to be nurtured at all times. The more time you spend in the now, the more you actually live your life. Yesterday – and even just one short hour ago – is gone. Tomorrow is not yet here. Now is what we have. Now is the time of our life. Now is the time for living. Start by gently bringing yourself to this moment more and more often on a daily basis. If you are at work, with your partner or family, or simply running errands, become aware of what you are doing, actually participate consciously in your daily activities … don’t just get through them in order to be able to do something else later on. Doing that means that you have lost this moment forever. Stay in the Now By staying in the now, notice how you seem to have more time. Notice how you feel less stressed. Notice all that is potentially enjoyable, positive, or could be a latent learning experience in the now moment. Even if you are going through a difficult situation, remain aware and in the now in order to better understand what is happening and in order to get to know yourself more intimately by observing your feelings, thoughts, and possible reactions. Live here rather than in the past or the future. The more you practice, the more it will become a habit, and the more you will truly live your life, rather than just live on memories of past glories or future hopes and plans.

         
    Love yourself like your neighbor turn self criticism into self confidence

     

    Self-confidence is important to all of us. In the stress literature, it's one of the characteristics of the hardy professional, the professional that remains healthy in the face of the high stress of constant change. It's important, but how do you build and maintain a viable and realistic self-confidence? One way to look at self-worth is to see it as an inference from what you to say to yourself privately about yourself. It's estimated that you make between 300 to 400 self-evaluations per day. Unfortunately, for the majority of us, those evaluations are far from kind. Most major in self-criticism. Research suggests that for the average person 80% of their self evaluations are negative; only 20 percent are positive. A good mistake can often be worth 45 minutes of self-whipping-"That was stupid. I can't believe I said that. And they were all watching me. They're probably going home tonight and talking about me!" If that's not bad enough, we have an old file clerk in the back of our brain that responds to our attack and goes back to check the evidence-"Just a minute, boss. Let me check the 'stupid' file here. Why yes, you are stupid! In fact, you're getting worse. This reminds me of the time you..." Most of us are good at making ourselves feel worse, not better. Even when you do give yourself the luxury of feeling good about something you did, it seldom lasts long. We discount our successes-"I was lucky!" "It's about time; I should've done this weeks ago!" "They could've done better!" When was the last time you lost sleep over a good day? Never! Even though self-critical, we put our best food forward publicly. We present ourselves as being 95% effective and admit making an occasional mistake to be human. You may fool others, but you don't fool yourself. When you compare what you know about yourself with everyone else's public image, you lose badly. When you major in the self-critical, you end up searching for loved ones, parents, friends, and bosses who will affirm you and make up for your own lack of self-esteem. Unfortunately, when you have to have the support of others, they control your confidence. By withholding approval they can leave you feeling less effective, less confident and more dependent. You would not talk to others the way you talk to yourself! "You did that? You're stupid! Did anyone see you? They saw you! Do they know I know you? I mean it reminds me of the time you...." Who needs friends like that! If a manager talked to an employee the way you talk to yourself, he could file a grievance and win. You deserve the same if not better treatment than what you would give a friend. Learn to make room for your mistakes as learning experiences. Since mistakes are a part of life in the fast lane, we need to find ways to be self-critical without majoring in self-whipping. Start by looking at criticism as course-correction data that helps us get back on track in our journey to success. The goal is not conviction or blaming; it's providing future-focused feedback that allows you to be more effective tomorrow! Scott Adams, the Dilbert Cartoonist, put these insights into practice in dealing with a novice tennis partner: "Once at a tennis tournament, I was paired with a woman who had just learned how to play. Every time she missed a shot, she immediately turned to me, expecting that I would be disappointed or frustrated. Instead, I talked to her about our strategy for the next point. By doing so, I sent a very important message: The past doesn't matter. I didn't encourage her with empty praise-that rarely works. But I know that if she dwelled on a mistake, she was more likely to repeat it, and that if she focused on how we were going to win the next point, she was more likely to help us do just that. Over several days, her abilities improved dramatically and we ended up winning the tournament." Treat yourself the same way. Life is like a moving vehicle with no brakes. If you spend too much time in the rearview mirror, you will hit a tree out the front window. In fact, that is why your rearview mirror is smaller than your front window. Get out of your rearview mirror and start focusing on driving to a desired future. Try letting go of the general self-attacks; use specific feedback. What did you do that you did not handle well? Remember, it is easier to admit you made a mistake than to admit you are one. I'm not rude, but I've had moments on the freeways of Los Angeles that I'm not proud of. I know they weren't appreciated either; the other driver didn't even wave with all his fingers. After identifying a specific mistake, focus on the future by asking two key questions: First, what can you do to rectify the problem? If any constructive action or apology could help rectify the problem, schedule a time to do just that. And secondly, and most importantly, how would you handle the same situation if it should occur again? If you have a valued colleague or friend, use them as a sounding board. If not, write down your thoughts or use these questions to help focus your self-criticism. When you've learned from the past and focused on a new strategy, get back into the game of life. Self-confidence begins when you can learn from errors, and then move beyond them to consistently improve. Welcome to the challenge of turning your mistakes into stepping stones to making change work for you and your organization. To really make a difference add the habit of ending the day by catching yourself being effective; use your calendar to record one success. You may be winning and not know it if you're not keeping score! Copyright © 2006 by Terry L. Paulson. All Rights Reserved

         
    Maintaining a positive attitude is good for business

     

    And the end result of managing your time properly should be fostering the right attitude for business. Here are six ways to build a positive attitude. 1. Be Committed It took me a couple of years to reach the point I’m at now. I could have given up any time before I got here and I had a million different reasons for doing so. But I knew what I wanted and stuck it out. That’s the first key to success. 2. Accept Challenges Being your own boss and owner of your own online business can be scary and a bit intimidating. It takes guts to leave a 9 to 5 job and start your own online empire. It takes guts to have a dream and to go for it. You ultimately determine whether your business succeeds or fail. 3. Be In Control. Keep your mind focused on important things. Set goals and priorities for what you want to do and accomplish. Develop a strategy for dealing with potential problems—and when those problems surface, feel confident in your ability to handle them. The worst you can do is fail. 4. Don’t be too Critical There is no use criticizing yourself once you’ve made a mistake. Saying “I should have landed that account or handled that situation differently” is not going to make any difference at all. It’s just going to drain you of your energy and discourage you. Simply learn from your mistakes and move on. 5. Practice Makes Perfect And stop worrying about getting everything right. It’s not going to happen. If Time Warner can buy AOL, you can create a website that bleeds cash. Just keep trying. 6. Ask for Help You want to work for yourself not by yourself. There is nothing wrong with asking for help. Don’t think you’re incompetent simply because you can’t do it all. Professionals hire other professionals to do the job properly. Don’t be afraid to bring in a specialist when you need it. If I have to warn you that there’s nothing more important than getting the work/family balance right, then the chances are you’re going to learn the hard way. I went into this for the money. But there’s no question that the greatest benefit my business has given me is the extra free time I have to spend with my family. I’m sure if I put that time into building more websites or creating more products, I’d make more money. But there’s more to life than money. You can also see that the following myths are simply untrue: Your site has to have millions of page views to make money. It doesn’t. Small sites with good conversion ratios can make more cash than large sites with lots of click-through traffic. Ad revenue and affiliate revenue don’t make money. It’s easy to make money: just put up a website and the money will roll in. They do, if you know how to use them. If only that were true! Making money on the Web takes time, effort and investment.

         
    Make it your destiny to accomplish great things in your life

     

    From this moment on, choose not to let your past dictate your future. What is gone is gone – forever. Now is the time to move on, to do and become what you want: to be the best in any area that you choose, so you may design your own destiny. Here are a few helpful suggestions that you may take on board, and below you will find a couple of simple tips that can quickly move you in the direction of manifesting your destiny to accomplish many great things in your life. To join ranks with the most successful people in the field of your choice, or merely to achieve your dreams quietly, for yourself, you will need to take the journey toward a better more enlightened future; toward a more empowered and motivated you, toward a life that you will design and achieve. You will live your life as you want it. And you will become that person you have been dreaming of becoming. Invest in life – in your life. No more wavering dreams, staring out the window and wishing and hoping. No more sleepless nights worrying about your future as you only see where you are now. This time it is for real. What you are dreaming of will happen, and in abundance. From today, you will move forward in your life in a dramatic way. You will do what is required of you to accomplish your daily goals, big and small, and you will always expect to succeed at everything you do. Embrace your unlimited power and build a life of excellence. Success is your one and only option. Fill all of your days with accomplishments, no matter how small you may think they are. It is important, at this point, to realise that most successes stem from your ability to feel certain that you can set out to achieve what it is that you desire – to accomplish great things in your life. And for you to feel certain, you need to become confident. One of the principle prerequisites to achieving almost anything in life is confidence. Confidence is an indispensable requirement to your success and further development or betterment, be it for your personal or professional needs. Confidence is the doorway to success and fulfilment. With confidence you will have the courage, strength and motivation to tackle and overcome all life’s setbacks and challenges. The great news is that confidence is a learned skill, and anyone can learn the skills to having awesome and unstoppable confidence. As promised, here are just a couple of confidence tips that I believe are easy to do and are extremely effective. By repeating the simple tips daily, they will retrain your thinking and become an automatic part of your new successful and confident habit. They will become your new way of life. Challenge your thoughts that have been holding you back and stretch your mind to raise your limits to unlimited heights. At the end of each day, put yourself into a confident and resourceful state of mind by jotting down in your diary or daily journal, all of the day’s achievements, no matter how small. Benefit: The mere act of writing them down reinforces the idea of success and confidence. It is extremely beneficial and motivating for you to feel the successes from deep within so your mind acknowledges them as confident achievements. Just before going to bed, conceive and initiate your ideal day. Once you have gone through your diary and planned your next day, sit back and take a few minutes to imagine and visualise the entire day, from beginning to end. See it unfolding exactly how you would want it to be, in every situation. Feel the confident emotions that come from success, with the feeling that you have accomplished all that you wanted. Benefit: When you go to sleep, your unconscious mind will work all night on ways to bring about that which you have just visualised. Truly make it your destiny to accomplish many great things in your lifetime by adopting a vital ingredient to success, and that is confidence. With confidence you discard worry, hesitation and fear. With confidence you rise above challenges and failures. With confidence you have unlimited motivation and unrelenting persistence. Do not underestimate the immense power of confidence. Go ahead, reap the rewards and accomplish many great things in your lifetime.

         
    Make procrastination work for you

     

    Everyone, to some degree, procrastinates. We all put off things that we don't want to do. That doesn't mean we do nothing. Au contraire! Most procrastinators get plenty done; it just isn't what is most important or urgent. Procrastination is the art of doing something else when there are more important things to do. There is a way to make procrastination work for you. Since all of us have this skill to varying degrees of proficiency we might as well put it to use. The act of delaying is the true gift of procrastination. Until now you might not have thought of it as a gift, but it is. Many people get overbooked and overload their schedules with activities and commitments they don't want to do because they said yes before they really thought about it. Delaying is a great way to prevent over - scheduling and saying yes to things you should decline. When someone asks you to do something, respond that you need to check your schedule. Ask for a day or two to think about it and tell them you will get back with your answer. Use procrastination as a tool to prevent yourself from getting overbooked. Procrastination will also assist with getting a lot done. I know it sounds strange, but it works exceptionally well. The trick is to have a major project that needs completion, but that you don't want to do it. My house was never cleaner than when I was working on my dissertation. My husband actually caught me outside cleaning the kitchen garbage can with a toothbrush. When he asked what I was doing I replied, "Avoiding working on my dissertation." I knew exactly what I was doing and it worked. I got a lot accomplished including my dissertation. The key is to leverage the advantage of procrastination. Let it move you to complete all the jobs you want to get done. You will still have time to complete the big job you have been avoiding. Procrastination has a bad reputation, but the truth is that it can help you accomplish a great deal. Use procrastination to your advantage. Use it to delay saying yes to everything. This way you will give yourself time to think, and you won't get overbooked. It will also help you get things done because, when you are procrastinating, you aren't just sitting around. You are doing any task to avoid doing what you need to be doing. That is fine, and actually you will get twice as much done. So stop beating yourself up and enjoy perfecting the art of procrastination.

         
    Mind of a champion

     

    How many times did you hear a true champion speak with doubt? How many times did you hear a boxer say, “It will be a tough fight, we will just have to wait until Saturday and see how it all works out”? Never, because doubt will knock you out before you even begin. The athletes that are remembered are always those that performed memorably during times of pressure. I say memorably because they could be remembered for choking or rising to the occasion. Anyone who has played competitive sports knows that there is a different feeling during a play-off game, but as with all things in life, that by itself is not a bad thing, it is all in the way you handle it. People are disturbed not by things but by the view they take of them-- Epictetus 200AD If you let self-doubt enter your mind, anxiety is sure to grow. Once you start to doubt whether you are capable of winning you’re on your way to disaster because the mind can only hold one thought at a time. You are either thinking of winning, and visualizing what winning will be like, or you are worrying about what happens if you don’t win. You can only hold one picture at a time. Sure some athletes waver back and forth, but at any given time you can only be holding one thought. What the mind sees, feels, and thinks, it works towards. The mind needs to be given direction and then it works towards making that given destination a reality. The mind is constantly working towards results, the trouble is what directions are we giving the mind. When you learn how to control your mind, greatness is achievable. Learning how to think like a winner is the first step towards becoming a winner. To Become a champion, you must first look and act like a champion. -- Muhammad Ali Some people say you cannot control what comes into your mind. I believe with the proper training… you can. Regardless of whether or not you can or cannot control what enters your mind, you can definitely control how long you hold any thought that does enter your mind. If a seagull decides to have a bowel movement while flying overhead, you cannot exactly control that… but you sure the heck can control how quickly you clean yourself off. It is the same with your mind. When a negative thought enters, clean it out with a flood of positive images. Focus on what you want, not on what you don’t want. Focus on winning, not on not losing. Begin to daydream, make this daydream the ideal outcome. Not what you will settle for, but what would be perfect. It's not what you are that holds you back, it's what you think you are not. -- Denis Waitley

         
    Mind power the ultimate success formula

     

    What does it take to be successful? Ask around and you will find different answers to the formula of success. The truth is, success leaves clues and you can achieve the success in the area you desire by observing the common qualities and principles. They are simple and considered to be common sense but most people simply do not follow them. Let me share with you one of my favorite quotes: “There are no secrets to success. It is the results of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure” Colin Powell As stated in that quote, there are three key factors to achieve massive success in your life: 1.Preparation You don’t have to wait for everything to be perfect. Start with the first step and keep moving. Success doesn’t happen over night. Prepare, prepare, and prepare. You must be ready to receive the success you desire. Set your sight to the destination that you want to achieve, then work and prepare for the moment when the opportunity knocks your door. 2.Hard Work Success needs hard work. Don’t listen to these ‘get rich quick’ schemes. You need to build your character and work hard on yourself and your business to achieve greatness. Work hard and work smart. Do the right things and do them in the right way. Don’t procrastinate. Take bold actions. Work long hours and craft your legacy. 3.Learning from failure Successful people do not see failures as failures. They see them as important learning lessons. Lessons that are capable of giving them insights to prevent such mistakes from happening again. By adopting this mindset of turning each failure into a learning lesson or opportunity, you can never fail until you yourself quit. Preparation, hard work and learning from your failures are the fundamentals to building your bright future.

         
    Mix business with pleasure there s a safe way

     

    Want to drastically cut the workload in your business, reduce the emotional drain to nearly nothing, and inject more pleasure into your work day? Here's a secret -- check your client list. Got customers who often call you in the middle of the night with emergencies (real or imagined)? Or demand you work every weekend to keep their rocks out of the fire? Or consistently pay late, though they refuse to wait for your services? Well, here's the executive summary: troublesome clients will -- if you let them -- account for a disproportionately large part of your workload and emotional strain. Meanwhile, they'll account for a surprisingly small proportion of your profits. The 80/20 rule says that 20% of your clients will be the source of 80% of your profits, and vice versa. Guess which side those problem clients are lined up on? This means you're probably spending more than three-fourths of your time servicing hard-to-please, money-draining customers who are unlikely ever to contribute to your retirement (may even be interfering with it). Furthermore, they are also draining away energy you could be directing to more appreciative customers. So what do you need the problem clients for? Short answer: think about it. Of course, we've heard all the marketing gurus tell us that we MUST give top-notch, world-class service to our clients... that our business is all about our customers... that it's important for us to feel genuine loving concern for every one of those with whom we do business. If we don't, they say, our business is headed for the scrapheap while other, more caring professionals will zoom right past us. Well, they're right, but let's call a brief time out and take a closer look at this advice. First, without taking sides one way or the other, let's acknowledge that some clients, like some autos, require more maintenance than others do. Now, if you find yourself with a car that's shaping up to be a lemon, do you nurse that car endlessly, or do you eventually realize you're in a situation of diminishing returns? Sometimes the most economically feasible thing is to dump the clunker and move on, right? But that's cars. What about people? Isn't it important to invest our very best in every single person we deal with in life? Aren't we supposed to treasure others and seek to see in them the highest potential possible? After all, if you've been reading my lessons for a while, you know that I'm the guy who says that with the right mental attitude you can change anything to your favor. So how can I now be going on about difficult clients, and about dumping problems and moving on? Okay, we're still in time out, so let's dig into this. Let's go back to why you're in business. I assume you have a mission statement, or something resembling one. And that mission statement probably says something like you're "helping clients solve a particular type of problem, and thereby making their world a better place for them." Does that pretty well sum up why you're in business? If you're nodding your head yes, you're wrong. You're in business to make YOUR life better, and the life of those you're emotionally close to. You're doing this for a profit. YOUR profit. OLD CHINESE PROVERB: No profit, no point. The improvement you bring to your clients' lives is your STRATEGY for buying improvements in your own life. That mission statement is HOW you've chosen to make your profits. It's HOW you're going about deserving the pay that you want to receive from other people. Not why. Of course, you won't receive YOUR profits unless you're providing good, solid, honest value to others. You've got to give value to receive value. Then why do so many people in business think it's necessary to give value patiently, endlessly, while failing to insist on receiving equal value in return? The truth is, if you're in a relationship with a client who consistently takes more than he gives, you're dealing with a swindler. An unwitting thief perhaps, but a thief nonetheless. And you're unthinkingly abetting that theft of your own services. Not only that, you're an accomplice in the cheating of your family, your employees, and others who are dependent on you or have joined their life energies to yours. In other words, not everybody is willing to make a fair exchange. They'll want to receive from you, but won't be interested in giving fair value in return. Not everybody you call a client or customer really is one. Some are thieves in disguise. Oh, most of them don't know that's what they are, but if it walks like a thief, and quacks like a thief.... It doesn't make them bad people. Just unprofitable. Are you ready to make your job more pleasant, more efficient and more profitable? Choose your business associates as carefully as you do your personal friends. In both cases, stay away from those not going the same direction you are. This is just another way to raise your awareness and your mental vibrations, so that more positive things can manifest in your life. Analyze what you're doing, who you're spending your time on, and decide which activities are moving you toward profit. Eliminate the rest -- or as many of them as you can arrange to dump. If the activity is un-dumpable, like doing your bookkeeping or sweeping the floors, take your earliest opportunity to delegate it. Now, I know that, as a freelancer or self-employed business person, you can find it hard to turn away business. You've been in operation for a while, but you've never forgotten those hungry first days. So when a client calls, no matter how difficult they are, the temptation is to grit your teeth, accept the work and count the money. You CAN grow as a business person, however, and unless you DO grow you'll never get past that hungry phase. Truth is, the only way to outgrow it is to start while you're still in it. Right now. Just start consciously rating every prospective client who calls. Find out about them, evaluate their qualifications to work with you. And if they don't qualify, decline their business. This alone will give you an enormous amount of power over your business life. Got an existing client who's giving you a hard time? Same thing. Evaluate them and decide -- in or out. Keep or discard. Of course you don't want to make snap judgments and act too impulsively. Build a cooling down period into your system. After all, your own moods can vary from day to day, coloring your judgment more than you may realize at the time. But if, after careful, deliberate examination, a client doesn't measure up, send him on his way so he can find someone he's better suited to. So yes, it's true that the business is all about your clients. But you get to decide who's a client and who isn't. And those who are not -- well, your business isn't about them at all.

         
    Motivate your motivation

     

    This week you finally did it. You brought the gym bag out of storage and joined a spinning class. Or, you finally decided to quit smoking. Or, you bought that juicer and have vowed to start eating healthy. Whatever the goal is, you finally have what it takes – motivation. And so you plunge ahead. Until… Until that point in time when the big motivation train starts losing its steam. When you’re just too tired to go to the gym after work. When you decide “just one” cigarette wouldn’t hurt. When you look at that juicer and that mound of carrots and kale and decide it’s easier just to have a glass of milk If only you had it like the good old days. You remember the good old days, don’t you? The days good old Mom used to nag you to do your homework, nag you to write your term paper, nag you to go to soccer practice, nag you to stop biting your nails. Ah, Mom, the original Life Coach. You now find yourself faced with two options – give up like you’ve done so many times in the past, or give your motivation a kick in the butt with the “Magic 30 Minutes.” Don’t let the name fool you. The “Magic 30 Minutes” doesn’t require you to purchase either a rabbit or a hat. Although it’s so simple you’ll feel like you’ve pulled a rabbit out of a hat. The “Magic 30 Minutes” is that 30-minute period between waking and falling asleep, where your mind begins to shift from a waking state, through a light trance state, to a sleeping state. That’s right; you actually go into a light state of hypnosis before going to sleep. Used effectively, such as reading a pleasant story to children before they sleep, the mind is filled with positive images, which helps promote positive thinking. And, since you’re already in a light state of hypnosis, your subconscious is most suggestible to positive and negative suggestions. Unfortunately, most people use the “Magic 30 Minutes” ineffectively, watching the news before retiring, thus filling their minds with crime, tragedy and fear - very negative suggestions indeed. So, how can the “Magic 30 Minutes” help motivate your motivation? Simple. Thirty minutes before falling asleep write out positive affirmations to yourself about whatever goal you’d like to achieve, such as “I love my body and will treat it well, like going to the gym or drinking a glass of fresh vegetable juice.” Repeating one’s positive affirmations are good, but since the act of writing involves using many different senses – touch, sight, thought – writing out your affirmations sends an even stronger message to the subconscious, resulting in quicker positive changes. Utilizing the “Magic 30 Minutes” can work with motivation for any goal, can boost confidence and self-esteem (“every day in every way my confidence grows”), and can even be used to attract prosperity to one’s life (“I am open and receptive to a more prosperous life”). You have no more excuses. Just five minutes of writing affirmations before going to bed can change your life. Of course, if you’d prefer to move back in with Mom… I didn’t think so.

         
    Motivate yourself

     

    : Why do you want to motivate yourself? Actually, just answering that question fully can be one of the better ways to get your daily motivation. Below are seven more ways that have been provem to work for others. Chances are, some of them will work for you too. Seven Ways To Motivate Yourself 1. Explain your plans. Usually, by the time I tell my wife about the newsletter I'm going to write, I'm out of my slump and back at the keyboard. Find someone that listens well, and tell them what you want to do. If it is something that you really want, this will almost always get you motivated. 2. Stimulate desire. Imagine the rewards of your effort clearly. Imagination motivates many to sign up for get-rich-quick plans. Good salesmen can have you living in your imagined dream home in minutes, and you'll feel motivated to do anything to make it real. Just learn to be your own salesman. 3. Use pain. Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) teaches you to link pain with not acting. If you imagine a scene of your kids sitting in jail for drug use - that might motivate you to have that talk you've been avoiding. Linking pleasure and rewards to acting is only half of the formula. Remember to link pain to not acting. 4. Develop a true interest. If you have no interest at all, it might mean you need to do something else, but if it's just a task you dislike, relate it clearly in your mind to the greater goal. I don't like to drive, but when I remember those mountains I'm going to, I get motivated to drive. 5. Create energy. Coffee can help for a while, but one way or another, you need to have some energy to have motivate yourself. Exercise, sleep well, and watch out for sugary foods - the "sugar blues" will kill your motivation. 6. Have the proper mental state. It's rare to be depressed and motivated. Resolve some of your negative feelings, and you'll have more motivation. Another way is to do your important work when you are in a better mood. 7. Make any small stepmit to raking up one bag of leaves, and soon you'll want to finish the yard. Any small step towards your goals creates momentum. You have seven ways now, but you have to actually use them, so how do you get motivated to do that? You have to figure that one out yourself. Humor, by the way, can be a good motivator. Laughing often breaks up the feeling of being overwhelmed. There's your eighth way to motivate yourself.

         
    Motivating students to learn

     

    As children get beyond the preschool/ kindergarten stage, many of them lose the joy in learning that is the characteristic of those early years. They may have had challenges in the classroom, or have been exposed to older children and heard some of their “school is boring” comments. The savvy parent can help to counteract this behavior by encouraging children to develop their interests and hobbies and by finding out more about the things in which they ARE interested. One method of motivating students to learn is by using articles in magazines or newspapers. If you get a daily newspaper, teach your child to use it. There is no doubt that they will be motivated to learn to decipher the television and movie listings, but what else do you take for granted? All local newspapers have “Around Town” sections – draw your child’s attention to articles of importance to him. If he is a railroad buff, let him read about the model train show coming up next week. If he’s interested in space, read to him about the latest from the Hubble telescope. Magazine articles are another good motivation tool. You can find whole magazines dedicated to your child’s hobby, whether it’s rock collecting or dance. If your child loves dinosaurs, reading about a little boy just like him who grew up to be a paleontologist can be very rewarding. Someone who loves animals will be motivated to learn all they can after reading about veterinarians. One thing that motivates almost everyone is money. If your child is fascinated by reading about the lives of people whose salaries make them able to travel, drive expensive cars and live in luxury, perhaps he will be motivated to get a great education and get rich himself. Even People Magazine can be useful in motivating students to learn!

         
     
         
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