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    Free Essay
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    Should the dad attend the birth of his baby

     

    Not so long ago a dad-to-be would pace up and down outside the labor room and would be admitted only after the birth. Modern practice is to assume the dad-to-be should be at the birth to offer support. But an increasing number of dads, moms and midwives would prefer he stayed outside. Some of the reasons given are: • Some moms feel the loss of dignity and 'not feeling attractive' is sufficient reason to banish their partners to the corridor. • Some dads think the sight of baby being born will put them off sex with their partner in the future. Others can't bear to see their partner in pain. Researchers at the University of Toronto suggest that women have a happier childbirth if they are supported by a trained woman rather than a stressed father-to-be. This woman could be your mother, a friend who's had a baby of her own or a doula (a professional female birth partner); her presence can have a calming effect on the mom-to-be. Most men, however, do want to be present and, after all, the baby is half theirs. Get it right and the man's help can prove to be invaluable and many couples find it is an incredibly bonding experience. Advice For Dads: Go to the pre-natal classes and learn all you can about the birth, what the mom goes through, and how you can help. Your only concern is your partner and the baby. You are there solely for them, and to help them in any way you can. It is difficult finding words of encouragement and it will feel as though your presence is not helping or appreciated - but it is. You may see a side of your partner you've never seen before. She may shout at you, even swear at you. Take it, go with the flow, bite your tongue. If you were going through what she's going through you would probably be as bad if not worse! No, delete the 'probably'!

         
    Should you buy a vibrating chair for your baby

     

    Many people say parenting is the toughest, and most important, job in the world. I agree. A baby is definitely a bundle of joy, but there are times when two hands just aren’t enough and you need some help in soothing and keeping your baby happy. Thankfully, now there are a number of items that make life easier for parents. Vibrating chairs are one such godsend. I am all for attachment parenting and do believe that we have too much equipment for babies these days. Entire households seem to be focused on items that allow a parent to get away with little or no physical contact with their little ones. But, at the other end of the spectrum, we have parents (especially Mothers) who are so tired they are ready to drop. There has to be a happy middle path between the two. One mother stated things very well: “When my second baby came along, I was totally enthralled with attachment parenting. I would carry her around myself and she even slept with us. By the time she was 6 months old, she had made up her mind to be carried around ALL day. And she was such an alert baby that she hardly slept at all. So, much as I hated having to use a piece of equipment to take care of my long-awaited baby, I succumbed due to sheer, bone-deep exhaustion.” “I selected a vibrating chair after a lot of research. I had read a whole lot of reviews - some chairs were too ‘bouncy’, and many were battery-hogs. I finally went for a beautiful, blue vibrating chair that also converts to a toddler chair. And it was a surprise: the moment I turned it on and adjusted the position, her eyes sort of half-closed, and in a moment, she was sleeping quietly and peacefully! Because she was getting bigger, I was finding it difficult to carry her around, especially when I had to cook, and do my laundry. I could now safely leave her in her vibrating chair while I carried on with my work. I selected a type of chair that has a strap in the front, much like car seats do. This keeps her safe and I don’t have to worry about her opening the buckle, or wriggling out. I think what makes this product useful is that it’s a rocker, a sleeper, and an extra hand - all rolled into one.” The main reason why babies like vibrating chairs is that it gives them an indescribable feeling of safety and familiarity. Babies like movement. This is mostly because they have been moving about in a swimming pool until they came out into the world - a very noisy swimming pool at that! Everything that the mother says and does creates a vibration; such as the sound of her voice, her heartbeat, even her breathing. When the baby comes out, he or she enters a silent, stationary world where things are not very familiar. Recreating that familiar world by moving, rocking or vibrating, calms the baby. The biggest downside to a vibrating chair is the number of batteries it uses – especially if you’re using the chair every day. Consider using rechargeable batteries. They’ll cost you less money and are a better choice for the environment. A vibrating baby chair can never take the place of the love and warmth of a baby’s parents, but it can help on those days nothing else seems to calm or soothe your baby or when Mom needs some time to cook a meal or take a well deserved break.

         
    Shyness in children

     

    What is shyness? Liz wanted to enter the mess hall. All the other kids were already seated in groups, munching their lunch, chatting happily. Liz was afraid that people would look at her, so she hung outside, trying to muster the courage to enter. But her heart raced inside her rib cage, her palms sweated and she felt a warm blush cover her face. So she left. Shyness during childhood years. Shy children like Liz suffer from 'approach avoidance conflict. It means that they do want to approach others, but at the same time, are too afraid to do so. As a result, the shy child may have bad approach skills, lower social skills and feel that everything they say is dull or stupid. Hence, shy children may have low results in tests that require face-to-face interactions, and may be perceived as less intelligent than they are due to their fear of talking. Thus, a vicious cycle may begin that only enhances the low-self esteem of the shy child. During later childhood and adolescence shyness becomes increasingly associated with loneliness, depression, social anxiety, and low self-worth. The shy ones may feel tiny in relation to others, or wish to disappear all together. Mitch's switching into objects in "The Two Tuba Switch" is a way to stretch shyness a bit to make a point. Shyness - nature or nurture? Both. Shyness runs in families. About one fifth of the babies are born with a tendency for shyness. Shyness may be caused by any single or repeated incidents that makes us feel uncomfortable or unworthy (new day in preschool /school, peer mockery, bullying, etc). Modern age factors. Increased crime which forces children off the streets, smaller families, increasing use of computers, video games, and TV as a form of non-human means for fun and play. These changes which may also be a convenient for a shy person may also enhance his shyness. How to improve matters in a nutshell? Parents must be supportive of their child's temperament helping them feel better about themselves. At the same time, they must not be over protective by helping the child engage in successful social activity. Mutual activities such as reading together Children's educational books about shy children and how they cope is another good way. Parents must never ever, let their own childhood memories and frustrations interfere and get in the way! Love your children for what they are.

         
    Six ideas to help you discipline your kid

     

    Got a kid? Love him or her? Of course you do. So when he or she misbehaves on a consistent basis, what's the best way to administer discipline? Well, as you may be aware, there is a wide range of thought on this subject. One school of thought teaches essentially hand's off, and says, the little darlings are very intelligent, so let them figure it all out on their own. No punishment or reward systems. Still another extreme says that the Singapore model of "caning" people for littering is a good one. Most of us find ourselves in between these two nutty positions...and the word "nutty" is being charitable. If you don't think so, then stop reading. You're a lost cause and should find yourself a nice rubber room somewhere so that you don't hurt yourself or anyone else. The fact is that anyone who actually watches children behave - without preset mental filters - will almost certainly come to the conclusion that different children respond differently. Some kids have a very high "pain" threshold. They can take whatever penalties you exact as they stubbornly refuse to do what they should do. There are others who can be easily motivated by various token systems. So how do you find out what method of discipline will work for your kid(s)? In a word: experiment! Here are six ideas for proceeding. #1 - Put on your "scientist hat." Research what's out there. No author knows your kid better than you do. But many researchers have seen thousands of kids and had opportunities to try various strategies with kids and their families. So knowing what's been done before is a very good strategy in and of itself. #2 - Once you have a sense of what is possible, start interacting with your own kid(s). Bear in mind that we live in societies that are increasingly filled with busybodies who do everything they can to blur the lines between discipline and abuse. So be careful as you try different discipline ideas. Important note: as you try these ideas, it is critically important that you (a) remember your main goal: raising good, intelligent children. If this isn't your main goal, please find that aforementioned rubber room for yourself. And (b) be patient. This is as much an experiment for them as it is for you. They've never been where they are right now. It's their first time being a kid at the age they are. And remember, you're not dealing with lab rats here. You're dealing with *your* children. Never lose sight of that. #3 - When you find something that seems to work, don't think you can finally relax. Nothing of the sort, my friend. Don't confuse short term hits to the bull's-eye with long term success. Your child may be responding to novelty as much as to the discipline. When the novelty wears off - and it will - your child may very well revert to the old behaviors that you tried to change. Novelty has a tough time lasting more than a few weeks. So give things at least 3-6 weeks to see if the changes are enduring. #4 - Tweak before you make major changes in your efforts. For example, suppose you are rewarding your kid(s) with pizza at the end of the week if certain things are done right. And suppose you have reason to believe they are responding to novelty rather than the measures themselves. Rather than junking the measures, tweak them a bit to determine if your suspicion is valid. For example, you might vary the food rewards and say, "Look - if you do the right things, you get to pick what we have for Friday dinner." You might be on the right track and tweaking gives you a chance to really find out. #5 - If tweaking doesn't work, then by all means try new approaches, keeping in mind all of the above. #6 - Finally, be humble enough to know that you might need professional family help in the form of therapists and other counselor types. You've got to be careful here because these professionals vary widely in terms of competence and also in terms of appropriateness for your family. For example, some therapists suggest Ritalin as the first line of therapeutic intervention if the child is having trouble in school. You have a right to be skeptical in such situations. Listen to your own inner voice here. No matter how well intentioned, many therapists simply get things wrong. If the one you've initially selected isn't right for your child or your family, try another. Note: there are professional organizations that can help you find a decent therapist if there is a need. America and many other nations are rich in resources to help families. Look to them if your problems grow too intense for you to handle on your own. Finally, use common sense. Sounds strange perhaps, but the fact is that no matter what professional help you may seek out, no matter what books you read, and no matter what online forums you participate in - YOU will be making the decisions. You are responsible, like it or not. Use the best intelligence you can and proceed with caution.

         
    Sleep experts conclude that kids don t get enough sleep

     

    A recent National Sleep Foundation poll on children's sleep habits revealed what many sleep experts have suspected for years: Children aren't getting enough sleep. For example, children under 10 do not get the minimum amount of sleep recommended for them. The study also showed that many parents are not aware of how much sleep is enough for their children. "It is clear from the poll results that we need to focus as much on the sleeping half of children's lives as we do on the waking half," said Jodi A. Mindell, chair of the poll's task force. "Children are clearly not getting enough sleep." According to Arthur Grehan, executive director of American Innerspring Manufacturers, a nonprofit trade group, it's a long-standing problem that is finally coming into the spotlight. "For years, we've focused many of our industry's educational resources on home and classroom materials aimed at teaching families about the importance of sleep for their children," Grehan said. So what can parents do? The first step is to become aware of how much sleep their children should get. According to the National Sleep Foundation, pre-schoolers should average 11 to 13 hours of sleep a day, and school-age children (first - through fifth-graders) should be getting 10 to 11 hours. According to Grehan, the bed itself sometimes contributes to a child's lack of sleep. AIM recommends that children sleep on regular innerspring mattresses that are no more than eight years old. "Many toddlers and pre-schoolers graduate from the crib to the thin foam mattresses that came with a piece of youth furniture, and some of the youth who are on full-size beds are sleeping on hand-me-down mattresses that are more than 10 years old," he said. "In the end, a good night's sleep for a child means that the parents can rest easy, too."

         
    Smartstart home based cognitive and language remediation program for internationally adopted children

     

    : Children of different ages adopted internationally are often ”at risk” educationally. Deprived of essential learning experiences in orphanages, children are indeed disadvantaged and may have cognitive and language problems moving to more advanced levels of learning after adoption. What can be done to put these children on a fast track to catch up with their peers? The answer in many cases is an early, well-planned, focused, and systematic cognitive and language remediation at school, in the community, and at home. The SmartStart program, created for children ages 3 to 8 by an educational psychologist Dr. Carol Lidz with participation of Dr. Boris Gindis, is a useful tool for any family with young children. It offers traditional family activities and games, which parents are invited to make more meaningful and remedial for their children without taking the fun out. These activities are not randomly picked; they are selected to reflect what is currently known about best practices in promoting cognitive and social development of young children. What makes this program unique is that it bears in mind the specificity of international adoptees and introduces basic cognitive concepts and skills that might not have been formed in the adopted child’s earlier development. It systematically stimulates academic language development and at the same time, it promotes attachment by providing parents and children with shared enjoyable activities. The SmartStart program stresses the utmost importance of adult mediation, missed in the early stages of an adopted child's learning. The prominent feature of each unit is a vocabulary section: which words to introduce and how to explain an activity to the child in order to make it more remedially meaningful. For international adoptees, learning their new language is a major adjustment activity. They learn English and the American lifestyle as a by-product of everyday interactions with their adoptive parents. Based on that, the SmartStart gives adoptive parents a large set of activities and provides the language that mediates these activities. Unit 1: Introduction. The explanation of specificity of cognitive remediation in internationally adopted child. Unit 2: Noticing our world. The goal of this unit is to teach the child how to look and what to notice; develop a vocabulary to share our experiences; detect pattern and make groups based on a shared characteristic. Example: With crayons and paper, encourage your child to fill the whole page with different patterns (i. e., a row of circles then a row of crosses). Repeat these rows in a different pattern. Create patterns within a row. Model the making of a "pattern page" for your child. Unit 3: Let's make a plan. The goal of this unit is to teach the child systematically explore and organize, think ahead about the desired result and plan steps to reach it. Example: Suggest that your child invites a friend over to play. Help your child think through the toys and how to get them ready, and what might be a good snack to have with the friend. Afterwards, talk with her about how it went: what the friend seemed to enjoy the most, what could have gone better, what to think about next time. Unit 4: That's fantastic! The goal of this unit is to teach the child differentiate between real and imagined, develop hypothetical thinking and think of alternatives. Example: Encourage your child to play thematic games with toys and household objects: "In the airport", "In a supermarket", "At school", etc., imagining being a pilot, doctor, or teacher and transforming toys into the necessary props. Take the role of someone who is interested, watching, and describing, but not directing. Encourage him to interact with the toys and just add enough to help the flow of action or conversation. If he wants you to take a more active part, encourage him to be "the director" and follow his lead. Unit 5: The nimble symbol. The goal of this unit is to develop the ability to create symbols and use them and to develop positive attitude and readiness for literacy. Example: Suggest a "measuring game" to your child. The aim is to find all the different ways something can be measured. Give an example, such as "See this table? I can measure it with my hands. Let's see how many hands long it is! Now, I think I'll measure it with this pencil. Let's see how many pencils it is!" Then ask your child to pick something to use for measuring, and, once done, to think of another way to measure the same thing. Unit 6: What's the big idea? The goal of this unit is to teach the child to get the main idea from listening and learn to appreciate, apply, and make up rules and general principles. Example: Make up your own games with rules, for example, a ball game: decide how long to hold the ball, who can throw to whom, or a different way to move the ball (for example, with your hands, with your feet, with your nose, with your knee...). Unit 7: Who is in charge? The goal of this unit is to teach the child to control movements and learn to control attention and feelings. Example: Tell your child, "This is a special kind of ball game. We're going to sit on the floor and roll this ball. We'll try to hit one of those toys with the ball. But, FIRST, you have to say which toy you are going to touch. THEN you roll the ball and try to hit it. Watch me do it first." Unit 8: Making connections: understanding the past, facilitating the future. The goal of this unit is to help the child to build awareness of new culture and new family and develop cause and effect relationships. Example: Let your child know that the ancestors of most people in this country used to live somewhere else. Make it interesting and fun to think about where all the different people came from, especially your own family. As educators and adoptive parents, we have learned that love and good nutrition are not enough to accelerate cognitive development and promote thinking, learning, and literacy in children who had been victims of deprivation, neglect, and institutionalization. The SmartStart program, available as on online class and as a CD at bgcenterschool. org, is your essential aid in the remediation of internationally adopted children.

         
    Snatched in the night what every parent should know about home invasion abductions

     

    Home invasions have made the news recently as a frightening form of child abduction. This type of abduction is not new, but it is starting to become more common as traditional forms of child abduction are becomming less effective. This type of child snatching has parents panicked and paranoid. After all, where is your child safe it not in their own home? However, very few parents understand that with a little safety training, this type of abduction can usually be prevented just as easily as other forms of child abduction. How it works An abductor will sneak into the child’s home at night, attempting to gain access to the child. He or she will then either threaten the child with harm, or talk the child into coming with them. The child is snatched out of their bed, usually without a sound or commotion, and unfortunately, is rarely seen alive again. What it depends on This type of abduction, is obviously a stealth abudction. It is secretive, quiet, and depends on the child’s compliance, in one form or another. They need silent kids, period. Defeating it Noise. Plain and simplepliance gets a child nowhere, they need to yell and make a ruckus. If a person did not intend to physically harm the child, this will just scare them off. Even if they did intend to harm the child, it is highly unlikely, that in the commotion, the abductor will choose to kill the child on the spot as opposed to run off. Silence with kids is death. Yelling and screaming is life. Training your kids It is important that you sit down and talk with them about this type of abduction. Tell them that if anyone ever awakes them in the middle of the night, they are to scream as loud as they can and call for help. They need to scream, kick the walls, knock over furniture, make as large of a ruckus as they can in order to yell for their parents and try to get away. If the person grabs them and try’s to run off, they should hang onto doors, windows, whatever they can to resist. Teach children to do this even if the person says they will kill them if they make noise. Explain to them the reality outlined earlier, that they are just saying that to get compliance and will probably run off if you make noise. If you go with them, they might kill you anyway. A parents role If at all possible, encourage children, especially younger children, to sleep with their doors open at night. Parents should also keep their doors open, (when not engaged in extra curricular activities) so that they have a means to hear their child if they happen to scream in the middle of the night. Not only does this ensure you hear them in the rare event that someone is in their room, but it will also come in handy for the everyday night terrors and other needs that your little ones require your assistance for. Friends don’t come a knocking in the night... What many parents don’t seem to realize, more likely of a scenario than threats, is that the child willingly walks out with the abductor because it is someone the child knows. Around 60% of all children murdered are taken by a close friend or relative. It is important to teach children to never go anywhere with anybody except their parents in the middle of the night. If someone awakes you at night, it doesn’t matter who they are, you scream as loud as you can, and you get your mom and dad, no exceptions. Teach children that there is never any circumstance where someone they know would have a need to enter their room or retreive them at night without their parents knowing. What to do All parents should sit down at some point with their children and go over this subject. Explain to them all the points contained in this article, and make sure they understand. For added assistance, Global Children’s Fund also publishes a book, "Something Scary Happened" which teaches children what to do in the event of this type of abduction. Have a happy and safe year!

         
    So you have a picky eater

     

    If you have a picky eater, mealtime can make you feel like you want to pull your hair out. It is very frustrating for parents to watch their child only fiddle with their food at dinner or not even touch it, claiming they "don’t like it.” Then what happens? Thirty minutes later guess who is hungry? You guessed it. Your little picky eater. Jamie’s mother was concerned about Jamie's lack of interest in food. She stated, “Jamie never wants to eat anything I fix for dinner. What can I do to encourage Jamie to eat the meals that I have prepared?” I came up with the following ten tips for her. You may find them useful as well. TIP: INVOLVE JAMIE. You could have Jamie help with planning the menu or meal preparation. Kids are less likely to “turn up their nose” at something, they had a hand in. TIP: PLACE A LIMIT ON JAMIE. Perhaps Jamie is playing with her food at dinner and not real interested in eating it. Mom say's, “Jamie, I will be serving breakfast at 7:00 a. m. try to eat enough to make it to then. You decide how much you will need. Oh! We will be clearing the table in _____ minutes.” When Jamie comes to you later that evening complaining of being hungry. With an understanding tone, simply remind her that you will be serving breakfast at 7:00 a. m. as usual. Jamie will most likely be persistent about getting something else to eat. It is important that you follow through with the limit you have placed. Otherwise, Jamie learns that you do not mean what you say and you lose your credibility with her. You may have to tell her several times that you will be “serving breakfast at 7:00” until she realizes that your are not going to give in. Jamie: “Mom I’m hungry. Can I have some cookies?” Mom: “Kids who eat all their dinner are welcome to have a snack after.” Jamie: “But mom I’m really hungry.” Mom: “I know Jamie. I would be hungry too if I ate as little as you did for dinner, but don’t worry I will be fixing a big breakfast at 7:00 a. m.” Jamie: “What? Do you want me to starve?” Mom: “I’ll be serving breakfast at 7:00 Jamie” Jamie: “This isn’t fair.” Mom: “I’ll be serving breakfast at 7:00 Jamie” Jamie: “Fine!” TIP: NOTICE THE EXCEPTIONS. Call attention to the times when Jamie eats most of her meal. “Wow! Jamie you ate everything on your plate. Good job. You should be proud of yourself.” Too often, we only notice the negative aspects of our children’s behavior and that is what we reinforce with our negative attention. TIP: CATER TO JAMIE'S DESIRE TO BE "BIG". “ You probably won’t like this halibut Jamie. Usually, adults are the only ones who like halibut." Guess what may just become Jamie’s new favorite food? TIP: PROVIDE VARIOUS CHOICES AROUND MEALTIME. “Would you rather sit by me or by mommy?” “You can eat with a fork or a spoon which would you prefer?” “Do you think you will need more potatoes or is that enough?” “Have as much as you think you will need to make it to dinner.” “Milk or juice?” “Should we eat at 7:00 or 7:30?” TIP: BE A GOOD ROLE MODEL. “You know dear, although spaghetti is not my favorite, I will eat it because I know how hard you worked to make it.” TIP: EXPOSURE. Encourage Jamie to try a variety of foods early on in her life before she knows any different. Some children may have never thought liver was gross if it hadn’t been for what someone else had set their expectation to be. TIP: PROVIDE SOME FLEXIBILITY. Let's remember there are some foods that certain children just can not stomach. If Jamie has a problem with spinach but it is part of that particular meal, try to have other items that she can get her fill up on once everyone has their share. However, this should be the exception rather than the rule. Try letting Jamie dip her foods in sauces, dressings, syrups or ketchup. It may make them taste better to her. TIP: MAKE MEALTIME ENJOYABLE. Try to talk about things other than eating at mealtime. Dinner is a great time to talk to Jamie about how her day went. During breakfast, you could discuss what everyone has planned for the day. Everyone pitching in to help prepare the meal can teach Jamie an important family value. An added bonus for children is that it can teach them important thinking skills regarding timing, measuring, colors, comparisons, counting, and cause and effect. Be creative in the ways that you dish up Jamie’s food. Mold her mashed potatoes into a volcano, cut her meat or sandwich into bite sized pieces and poke toothpicks in them, layout veggies in the shapes of letters or numbers, or use a drop or two of food coloring to make it more interesting. TIP: LIMIT SNACKING. For children to be hungry enough to eat a meal they usually need to go two or three hours without food. However, it is difficult for children to go from noon to 6:00 p. m. without food. A nutritious snack after school should be fine to get Jamie to dinner still having her appetite. TIP: RECALL PAST SUCCESSES. Think back about times when Jamie has ate her meals. What were you doing? Were you placing a lot of emphasis on her need to eat her food? What was she doing? What were you eating? What happened before the meal? These kinds of questions may help you realize some of the things you or Jamie is already doing which assist her in becoming a better eater.

         
    Solving baby slep problems the ferber method

     

    Nothing can prepare new parents for the mind numbing weariness that comes with lack of sleep. A new baby may be tiny but the havoc they wreak to your sleep is huge. It can take work to establish good sleeping habits. One of the hardest things for your baby is to learn to fall asleep on his own. I firmly believe that parents need to reclaim their evenings. Babies and young children need to go to bed at a reasonable hour so that you can enjoy some adult time (Even if that just means crashing out on the sofa in front of the TV) What you don't want is to be running up and downstairs all evening in response to the baby monitor! Baby is used to falling asleep with a parent. It may be tempting to rock that crying baby to sleep - it may seem quicker but in the long run you are not helping your baby to learn that sleep is something he needs to do alone. If you establish a bedtime routine which you stick to every night and after several months your baby will still not fall asleep you might like to try the Ferber Method. Dr. Richard Ferber sets out a schedule that will gradually encourage your baby to sleep without you. This will include getting off to sleep in the first place but will have a knock on effect if baby wakes up during the night. If you decide to try the Ferber Method choose a time when you can afford to loose some sleep. It will take a couple of weeks of hard work but the rewards will be long term and permanent. Essentially the Ferber method encourages you to gradually wean your baby from falling asleep with a parent. It does involve listening to your baby cry - so steal yourself to this. The first night you put your baby to bed as usual (a calm bedtime routine is essential) Baby should be sleepy but still awake when you put him down (You want him to fall asleep alone - not in your arms) Leave the room. When baby starts to cry (as he inevitably will) sit it out for 5 minutes. After 5 minutes return to the bedroom and soothe baby. You must not pick him up or rock him - just a gentle stroke or pat so that he knows you are close by. Leave the room again and this time wait 10 minutes before you return. Again sooth but do not pick up baby. Leave again and this time wait 15 minutes. Make 15 minutes the maximum wait time for the rest of the night. Return to the bedroom - sooth and leave. During one of the 15 minutes he will fall asleep. On the second night start with a ten minute wait and work up to 20 minutes. On the third night start with a 15 minutes and work up to 25 Each night increase the times by 5 minutes. These time intervals are not cast in stone - make them smaller if you wish but it's really important that you don't cave. It can seem heartbreaking to listen to your baby cry. But you are close by, it's a plan not indifference. I used the Ferber method with my daughter, when she was a toddler. We had not experienced sleep problems when she was a baby in a crib. The difficulties started when we transferred her to a bed. The night time "pantomime" got more and more elaborate as she extended the time I was in the room with her. She used every trick in the book to get me back into her bedroom and to delay the time when she settled down to sleep. By the time I came across Dr Ferber's book I was desperate. It was taking longer and longer every night to get her off to sleep but I wasn't prepared for how hard it would be to leave my daughter to cry. In fact most times I was sitting on the stairs crying too. My husband encouraged me stick at it and I'm glad that we did. It really did just take a couple of weeks to set up a pattern that lasted all through her childhood. I found that I could spend some enjoyable bedtimes, reading stories etc, confident that when I said "goodnight" she would snuggle down and go to sleep without any fuss

         
    Some unusual causes of sudden infant death syndrome sids

     

    On the list of horrifying things that can happen to a family, Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) is near the top. SIDS occurs when a baby between the ages of one and six months mysteriously dies in its sleep. There are several causes for SIDS, and more are being discovered each year. Being suffocated by bedding is certainly one of them, as is being rolled on by parents and being a passive infant smoker. But there are two other reasons responsible for a significant number of unexplained infant deaths. Before World War Two, the number of SIDS (also called 'Crib Death') incidences was not very high. There was a dramatic increase in the number after the War, and it took quite a while for researchers to identify the cause. Post-war, the industrially developed nations promulgated laws saying that crib mattresses had to be made fire retardant. Manufacturers achieved this by adding fire retarding chemicals to the mattress, which was a perfectly logical thing to do. However, strange and deadly consequences resulted from thismon household bacteria and fungi such as scopulariopsis brevicaulis ate the fire-retardants (which were often antimony, phosphorus or arsenic) and emanated gaseous derivatives of the toxic phosphine (PH3), arsine (AsH3)[4] and stibine (SbH3) gases. These gases are more lethal than some of the well-known nerve gases used by irresponsible countries in military warfare. Carbon monoxide is but a feeble joke compared to them. Body heat is what triggered the fungi to act. When urine, saliva and vomit leached into the mattress, the process went into high gear and even more gases were generated. These gases rose out of the mattress and formed a layer. If there was insufficient air circulation in the room, or if the crib had solid, raised sides, this layer resided on the surface of the mattress where the baby lay. The baby was thus enveloped in a cloud of poison. This phenomenon, which frequently occurs in the present day, also explains why SIDS reduces if babies sleep on their backs (as advocated by the American Academy of Pediatrics 13 years ago), because in that case they do not have their noses in the deadly gaseous soup. The remedy for this toxic gas problem is to create an impermeable barrier between the baby and the mattress, most simply achieved by wrapping the mattress with polyethylene sheet. The top and sides should be covered by folding down a single sheet, then folding it again under the mattress and fixing it there with sticking tape. The bottom should not be airtight. Alternatively, readymade polyethylene slip-on mattress covers are inexpensively available from standard supply sources. Statistics have shown that such mattress-wrapping dramatically reduced the incidence of SIDS. It would also help to keep the head of the crib at a higher level than the foot, so that the gases are drained away from the baby's head area. The second significant cause of SIDS is vaccination. This cause is exemplified by the shocking example of a 17-month old, active girl who was given DPT, MMR and Hib vaccines in one sitting, only to die the same night. It is therefore worthwhile considering avoiding these vaccines to the extent feasible. This article is for information purposes only. Do not take any decisions relating to your baby's health without the concurrence of a competent pediatrician.

         
    Special baby clothes for those special days

     

    : Baby clothes are a necessity more than anything else, but there are a couple of special occasions that make the baby the center of attention. It is moments like this that the mother's keen sense of fashion gets to shine. Here, the fact that the baby will undoubtedly grow out of the outfit quickly is of little to no concern, and style is of the utmost importance. In most cases, so is tradition.Perhaps the most obvious of these occasions is baby's homecoming. Almost any mother can tell you what they brought their baby home in. Depending on the time of year, this special outfit can range from a fruit print romper to a pair of footsie pajamas. In this case, it is the sentiment attached to the moment that makes the outfit so special. It is a good idea to save this outfit in a memory box for when your child has children of their own, or make it into a treasured stuffed animal. Any way that you think is fitting to preserve the memory works, but doing something to set this outfit aside is important.The next big day is the baby's introduction to family. What is your baby going to be wearing the first time they meet their grandparents, aunts, uncles, and close friends? If this is a small secular gathering, then something informal is an easy out. However, you may want to dress the new family member up for the multitude of pictures that will inevitably be taken. Of course, there is also the weather to take into account. If the baby is going to be in a hot crowded home, then keeping them cool is they key factor in choosing appropriate attire. A thin cotton dress for a girl, or a onesie works great. Think of the day as an excuse to let others change the diapers for a little while.There is of course the more common baby coming out, either christenings or a bris. The traditional christening attire is, of course a white garment. This can take many forms, from a gown to a suit, and a whole host of materials. The important thing to remember is that the baby is going to be passed around a lot on a day like today, so make sure that he or she is comfortable no matter how angelic they look.For a bris, the attire is clearly gender specific. Therefore, baby tuxedos and suits are a hot item. You would be surprised at the inexpensive prices at which you can find a tiny tux. For less than thirty dollars, your baby can be in his very own penguin suit. There are also more traditional items, which are very much like that of the Christian baptism ceremony. That is, long white gowns with blue trim. These are also modestly priced, and generally work for either ceremony (which could potentially be a big money saver for an interfaith marriage).The special occasion that all mothers look forward to at the end of a stressful but joyous year is the baby's first birthday. This outfit is much like the baby's coming home outfit (except significantly larger), and can be a whole host of different styles or degrees of formality. The most important thing about this outfit is, of course, its resistance to cake stains.

         
    Special natural skin care for babies

     

    We spend hours and countless amounts of money on our own personal skin care, trying different lotions and potions to find the perfect product for our needs. Our babies deserve the same special attention when selecting skin care products as well. Babies and little children seldom actually need lotions and creams unless they have dry skinmercial products on the market contain synthetics and chemicals that can be harsh on tender skin, so many parents are opting for natural skin care and bath products for their babies. For babies and toddlers especially, the skin care product most frequently used are baby wipes, and the perfumes and dyes found in commercial brands can play havoc with their sensitive bottoms. Parents use baby wipes not only at diaper changes, but for all sorts of reasons, cleaning little faces and hands being two very common tasks. Although possible to find brands with little synthetics, another alternative is to make home-made baby wipes to make certain the ingredients are all natural. Another skin care problem parents with babies face is diaper rash. Even with the best of changing routines, diaper rash can occur, and frequently applying chemical rash creams can often aggravate the problem even more, causing prolonged discomfort for baby. Help prevent diaper rash with frenquent diaper changes and cleaning baby with natural soap and water. Natural Baby Wipes 1/4 cup aloe vera juice 4 drops lavender essential oil 1/2 roll paper towels cut lengthwise 1/4 cup water 2 drops tea tree oil Simply mix the ingredients and store in a plastic container. There are many natural baby and child skin care products available online. Marlo Quinn is a new natural skin care company with impeccable skin care products for families. It’s also possible to prepare natural baby wipes at home using the recipe above. Products made from natural ingredients are the best choice for babies and children.

         
    Special occasion baby wear

     

    : Finding special suits for baptisms, christenings, and other ceremoniesReligious ceremonies, celebrations, and occasions are a big part of a newborn baby’s life in many families. Naming ceremonies, christenings, baptisms, and dedications ceremonies carry a degree of importance in the lives of followers of many different religions and are generally considered to be special occasions of some importance. When planning one of these events there are many details that the parents of the child involved must consider, not the least of which is what the baby should wear to the event. Some religions require that a form of traditional garb be worn by the infant while others leave the choice up to the parents. In either case the occasion demands that the choice of the baby’s clothing be something special that represents the importance of the event.ChristeningChristenings and baptisms typically involve a christening gown for both boys and girls. The girls’ gowns may be smocked and are typically longer and more “dress-like” than those worn by boys. In both cases the gown is typically white, symbolizing innocence and the purity of the child’s spirit as his parents dedicate his or her life to God and promise to raise the child “in the word of God.” These ceremonies are typical of many Christian denominations, most notably the various forms of Catholicism.Naming CeremoniesNaming ceremonies appear in the practices of many religions and nationalities. The practice dates to ancient times when a new life was considered to be a gift from the gods. In most modern naming ceremonies there is no specific required outfit, with the appropriate attire for the child being a white or pale blue suit or gown of silk or some other fine fabric. Due to the delicacy, expense, and significance of these articles, they are seldom worn more than the one time.DedicationsSome Christian denominations do not practice the baptism of their children, holding the baptismal rite as a personal decision that a person makes once he or she has reached the age of accountability. This is typical of many evangelical denominations. In place of the christening or baptismal ceremony for an infant, the parents and child participate in a dedication ceremony before the members of the church. In most of these churches there is no required finery or attire for the infant, nor any specific traditional style, color, or design. Parents will still usually “dress up” the baby in formal-looking clothing designed for a baby. The attractiveness of these suits (for boys) and dresses (for girls) often elicits comments from the congregation regarding how adorable the little one looks all dressed in his or her Sunday Best.

         
    Spelling games for kids

     

    The following spelling games can be used by parents -- or teachers -- to reinforce spelling in children. SPELLING GAME 1: USE BOARD GAMES, SUCH AS MONOPOLY Play any game that is normally played with dice with the child -- Monopoly, for example. The parent can continue to move her token forward in the normal way by throwing the dice, but the child must orally spell a word to move forward. To select words that can be used, the parent can use words from the child's schoolwork that he often misspells. She must make word cards of these words. It is best to use not fewer than 20 words and not more than 30. When playing a board game, the same 20-30 words can be used, or if the child already knows how to spell them, other words can be selected. The parent must thoroughly shuffle the word cards, and then put them in a pile upside down on the table between the two (or more) players. When it is the child's turn to play, the parent must take a word from the top of the pile and then say the word aloud. The child must spell the word. If the child spells the word correctly, he may move his token the same number of spaces as there are letters in the word. For example, for a word of seven letters he may move his token forward seven spaces. The word card is then put aside. If, however, he misspells the word, the parent must show the word to the child, and the child must spell the word aloud three times while looking at the word, and then three times without looking at it. Then the word is put at the bottom of the pile, so that it will come up again later. If the child misspells a word, he may also not move his token for that turn. SPELLING GAME 2: HIDE AND SEEK GAME Use the letters of a particular word, and build new words with these letters. For example, if one decides to use the word “difficulty,” one would write this word on a piece of paper and put it in front of the child. The aim of the game is that the child must make a list of all the words he can think of using only the letters of the chosen word. It can also be played as a competition, meaning the parent can play it with the child, and at the end, the one with the largest number of correctly spelled words, wins. There are always many words that can be formed in this way, and in an indirect manner the spelling of the chosen word is practiced, while many other words are also tested for spelling. A few examples of words that can be formed from the letters of “difficulty” are: if, left, cult, cliff, fifty, duty, etc. Note that each letter may be used once only. The letter f appears twice in the word “difficulty,” and therefore a word like “fifty” is acceptable. “Dull,” however, is not acceptable. Some examples of words to be used: alphabetical; misunderstanding; occasionally; postponement; mayonnaise; multimillionaire; credibility; determination; education; friendship; generosity; hippopotamus. SPELLING GAME 3: WORD JUMBLES Another interesting method of practicing spelling is by making word jumbles. The child then has to sort out the confused letters to come up with a word, which he has been taught before. Words must be selected from the child's schoolwork. Use a piece of paper, and write the word jumble on the paper. For example, if the letters “hergun” are written on the paper, the child must rearrange them to form the word “hunger.” SPELLING GAME 4: NAME, SURNAME, ANIMAL, AND CITY/TOWN To play this game, the parent and child will both need a piece of paper and a pencil. Write the 26 letters of the alphabet on a piece of paper, and select a letter at random. The parent and the child must now, as fast as they can, write down a name, surname, animal and town that starts with the selected letter. The one that finishes first gives the other party only 5 seconds, before shouting "Stop!" and then all pencils must be put down. Ten points are awarded for each correctly spelled word. If both parent and child had exactly the same word under one of the headings, for example, both had the same animal, only 5 points will be awarded if the word was correctly spelled. Say, for instance, the letter "d" was selected: Names: Douglas, Danny, David. Surnames: Davis. Animals: dog, dinosaur, deer. City/Town: Dallas, Durban.

         
    Spitting up and other joys of motherhood

     

    If you have a newborn, he or she is going to spit up. Some babies do it more than others, but they all do it. There are several reasons why, and some things you can do to minimize spitting up. Newborns spit up more than older babies, in part because their esophagus is not mature yet, and in part because they tend to have a lot of mucous to clear, and when they clear it, the milk comes up, too. Most babies stop spitting up entirely by the time they are six months old, but there are those who continue until about one year old. Other reasons that babies spit up are too much air in their stomachs, or simply eating a little too much. These are problems you can minimize with a little attention. First, don’t feed your baby when he’s crying, as he is taking in air with all those sobs. Calm him first and then continue. If your baby is taking a bottle, make sure you are holding the bottle so that the nipple stays full of milk, and holding the baby so that he stays partially upright. If possible, put him somewhere where he will be still for awhile right after eating. Jostling him around is likely to cause an outburst. Also, don’t try to feed your baby too much. Just because the doctor says that most newborns will take three or four ounces at a time, doesn’t mean that’s right for your baby. If your baby consistently spits up a large amount after every feeding, you might want to cut back by an ounce or so, and see what happens. Now, let me point out something important. There is a difference between spitting up and throwing up. When your baby spits up normally, it will look (and smell) like a lot, but realistically, it is probably only a teaspoon or two of milk mixed with mucous. That is normal spitting up. It’s important that you know the difference between spitting up and throwing up the whole meal. If your child starts throwing up, it’s time to call the doctor! Now, a word about your clothes. Keep a cloth diaper around at all times. When you had your baby shower, I bet people gave you some of those fancy burp rags, didn’t they? Well, they’re great for dusting furniture, but simply too narrow for your shoulder. Whenever I used them, I wound up with vomit on my shoulder nearest my neck. It was lovely. I wonder how many people thought I had switched to some new, horrible perfume. Another trick if you’re going to work. I used to put an old, extra large button front shirt on over my clothes when I got dressed on work days. I wore it until I had dropped the baby off at the sitters, and then took it off in the car. That way, if they decided to spit up on me on the way out the door, or at the sitter’s, I didn’t have to go home and change. Spitting up is relatively short lived, thank goodness. So, just take precautions, and wait it out!

         
     
         
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