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    Planning a baby shower from start to finish

     

    Planning a baby shower is one of the loveliest gifts you can provide a mother to be. But where do you start? If you are a first time planner or an experienced planner, you can benefit by following some simple strategies to ensure your baby shower goes off without a hitch. Here’s what the experts recommend when it comes to baby shower planning: 1) Decide when the shower should be held. Most are held before the baby comes but some mom’s are superstitious and would prefer a shower be held after baby’s arrival. Be sure you check in first to plan accordingly. 2) Decide where the shower will be held. Usually this is a location other than the mom to be’s home. 3) Decide who should be invited. If you are hosting, you should always ask the mom to be who she wants invited before you make a list. You may find she wants a co-ed party or a small family only affair. Be sure you check in with her before you get started. 4) Send out invitations and be sure to include R. S.V. P. information and baby registry information. You’ll want to know exactly how many people are coming and your guests will want to know where they can buy the guest of honor some great gifts. 5) Decide on a theme. This doesn’t have to be anything elaborate. It can even be as simple as ‘pink’ if the mom is having a girl. You might consider asking the mom to be, she might have a theme in mind. This will help you plan decorations. 6) Order a cake or decide on the type of cake you want to make. A cake is a must have for all baby showers. 7) Plan on having some appetizers for guests. You don’t have to provide a full meal, but snacks are a nice touch. 8) Pick a few baby games out so you have something to do during the party. You can find hundreds of baby shower games on line. Once you have planned all of these essential steps, the rest of the baby shower is easy! You simply need to set up house, decorate and welcome your guest of honor on their big day. Most baby showers last about two to three hours. The first Ѕ hour or so guests can spend mingling and munching on goodies. You can then spend another Ѕ hour playing a couple of games. Then allow your guest of honor to open her gifts! Be prepared to write down who all the gifts came from so your mom can send thank you notes. After the gifts are open, usually guests have some cake, mingle some more and then leave. You might consider having some party favors available for guests. A great idea is mini baby bottles filled with jelly beans or some other inexpensive treat! The most important thing to remember about baby shower planning is that everyone should have a good time. Sit back, relax and don’t stress about minor details. Most people are just looking for a good laugh and some time to pat mom to be’s growing belly!

         
    Playground bullies resolving conflict peacefully

     

    Most parents are always looking for new tools to help them teach their children life lessons in an informative, compassionate way. Whether it's an everyday problem or a complex emotional issue, many parents find comfort, guidance and inspiration in familiar stories. For example, the story of the prodigal son helps children understand the concept of family and how their love is unlimited. The story of Joseph and his brothers helps youngsters learn not to be boastful, or to try to be their parents' "favorite." And the story of David and Goliath helps teach kids about how to deal with bullies, an all-too-frequent playground presence. In general, bullies are children who suffer from low self-esteem, and who compensate for their unhappiness and lack of friends with negative and potentially abusive behavior. Fortunately, there are many things that people can do to help children build inner strength. Recognizing low self-esteem in a child is the first and most important step. Other important tips for children include: • Believe in yourself. Have confidence that you can deal with bullies in a peaceful manner. One way to foster this idea in children is through an animated story based on the David-and-Goliath story. A new DVD, "The Roach Approach: Slingshot Slugger!," tells the tale in a format that even the youngest viewers can understand. Through amusing antics and inevitable misfortunes, the characters impart important values of love, faith, hope and respect. • If a bully is in your class, try to pick a time when you ask for his or her help in doing schoolwork. Remember, most bullies don't feel very good about themselves. • If you are concerned about a bully at recess time at school, stay close to the teacher on yard duty. • Inviting a bully to join a game that you and your friends are playing is a good idea. • If the bully's harmful behavior continues, tell your parent, teacher, principal or another adult that you trust. Acknowledged by the Dove Foundation for family entertainment, "The Roach Approach" series features outstanding stories, music and animation that are sure to capture the hearts of many generations to come. "The Roach Approach: Slingshot Slugger!" has crawled onto Twentieth Century Fox DVD and VHS.

         
    Playtime 8230 motivating kids to make exercise fun

     

    You know your kids should be active, but often they can be found hunkered down in front of the TV, video game or computer while the sun shines outside. It's a scene parents everywhere have lamented. The solution is pretty simple: Get them active by making exercise fun. In fact, don't even call it "exercise." Call it "play" and give them lots of opportunities to do it. If you gently suggest a bunch of activities (running through the sprinkler, playing whiffle ball, drawing a hopscotch grid with sidewalk chalk), they're very likely to take you up on one. And if they enjoy themselves, they may take the initiative next time to choose that activity over being a couch potato. What's fun to a kid? Sure, they love a day trip to an amusement park or a family vacation getaway, but there are many low-cost, everyday ways for kids to have a great time being active. Each kid will have his or her own favorites, but most will enjoy activities that offer one or both of the following: • Physical thrills, such as swinging on a swing, splashing into a pool or gliding on skates • A chance to get better at something, such as riding a bike, catching a ball or jumping rope. With thrill-seeking kids, be sure to supervise closely. (Riding on a tire swing can be fun, but falling off onto the hard ground isn't.) And when it comes to skill building, be sure to take notice when your child shows improvement. Maybe your child is landing some solid kicks on the soccer ball or jumping rope with increasing speed. Your encouragement-and your child's own satisfaction-will spur him or her on to keep practicing. When you find an activity, such as jumping off the diving board, that offers physical thrills and a chance to master a skill, some kids will do it over and over until their skin is waterlogged and the sun is setting on the pool deck. And if you're willing to do more than lifeguard, you can really increase the fun quotient. What's more fun (and funny) than seeing mom or dad bounce off the diving board and land with a cannonball splash? But regular outings to the pool, the park or even the backyard will yield more than just good times. You'll show your kids that physical activity is a normal and fun part of everyday life-a healthy habit they'll want to continue for years to come.

         
    Points to ponder when selecting baby crib

     

    A baby crib is your baby’s first furniture. It is the only item in the world that you are intending to leave your baby unattended for periods of time. That is the more reason to buy only cribs that are safest. The baby crib will also be the place where your child will be spending most of the time. Cribs are expected to be of use until the child is about two to three years old when the baby is prepared to be sleeping in a real bed. Baby crib standards for manufacture have been at work since 1973. Old cribs therefore should already be discarded in favor of the newer designs that meet safety standards. Parents are lavish when it comes to providing for their children. And so it is expected that parents will want the best baby crib. You can always opt to buy the most expensive baby crib and parents whenever they can afford it will always try their hardest to provide for their children what they think is best. The best for your child is not necessarily mean the expensive kind as features has to take a back seat when it comes to safety. There are standards that should be observed when selecting a baby crib. Safety The Consumers Products Safety Commission has mandatory safety standards and good baby crib manufacturer subject each crib to tests before they put it out into the market. Any crib therefore that is in circulation should have the seal of passing the mandatory standards. All finishes, paints, stains, lacquer etc. must be lead free. Baby’s love to bite and put into their mouths anything that fancies them. You would not want your baby chewing on materials with lead content. Be on the lookout for warped slats and weak rails as even the most expensive is subject to human errors. It is not only the baby’s weight that the crib could be supporting. You could be leaning into it when picking up the child and your added weight might break a weak rail and could injure both you and your child. Avoid also decorations that could trap your baby. Everything could be working fine in the earlier months but when the baby starts to grow and become active, fancy decorations could injure the child. Do not settle for baby cribs made from inferior woods. Inferior woods could be cheaper but it will not provide the stability that you might need. Remember the crib that was passed on and used from sibling to sibling? Baby cribs are like that. Your next children could be using the same crib and if you do not check out for stability, well you know what usually happens. Some of the mandatory standard for cribs design that should help you during your selection. -Distances between slats should be not more than 2 3/8 inches. -The top of the drop sides when in raised position should be at least 26 inches above the support from the lowest position. -Drop sides must be not less than 9 inches above the mattress support. -The size of the frame should at least be 27 ѕ inches wide and 51 ѕ inches long. It is always best to buy cribs months before your child is born. Cribs are not staples in many stores and when you have a particular baby crib in mind, locating a particular baby crib could be difficult and time consuming.

         
    Popular bed wetting solutions you can use

     

    A huge number of children are affected by nocturnal enuresis, or sleep wetting, as it is often called. Although there is no specific treatment for this condition, parents can still find some good bed wetting solutions that work. This sort of problem is most common with children under the age of five – any extreme measures against it are simply not justified. However, sleep wetting is a problem and it may become an annoying issue to deal with, both for parents and for the child. While children under five do not have obvious psychological issues related to this phenomenon, after a certain age they become conscious about it. This is when finding appropriate bed wetting solutions becomes important for the child’s social development. How to diminish the negative effects of bed-wetting While this problem is natural for small children, parents can still take a few steps and reduce the negative effects associated to it. Parents can start by investing some time in preventing the problem from taking place. As part of the most commonly used bed wetting solutions, parents can control the levels of liquid their child drinks in the evening and before going to sleep. Diuretic drinks are those that fall in the following categories: caffeine containing, carbonated and acidic. Stopping your child from consuming them at night is an excellent bed wetting solution. It also helps if the parent trains the child to go to the toilet right before going to sleep. It is important that a pattern is developed in this case and the child will learn to urinate at a specific hour in the evening. This method, combined with low liquid quantities consumed in the evening, has some of the best results in reducing bed wetting at night. Bed wetting solutions - diapers Although the actual urinating process can’t be stopped, its effects may be reduced if the child wears a diaper. The diaper eliminates all the problems that affect the parents: having to change bed sheets every morning and it also helps the child sleep better and wake up in a dry bed. Older children might be against wearing a diaper, as they feel they are too old for that, so a simple change of term – from “diaper” to “night protection” is preferable. As an extra protection method, parents should also have protective plastic sheets because diapers are not 100% leak absorbents. The radical approach to bed wetting – medications Using medication to reduce nigh time urination is one of the most radical bed wetting solutions and, in most cases, the most effective as well. Treatments with medication such as anticholinergics, desmopressin or imipramine are often used to solve bed wetting problems. While such drugs have high success rates, parents should also remember that they are chemical and hormonal substances, and long-term usage may lead to unwanted side effects. As far as bed wetting medication is concerned, the opinions are varied, many parents trying to avoid this solution at all costs and teach the child to deal with the problem on their own. Copyright © Jared Winston, 2006. All Rights Reserved.

         
    Potty training are you ready to go public

     

    You’ve done a lot of the hard work and potty training is now going well. To get things running smoothly you’ve been staying home and it’s been working. You’ve got a good system happening between the two of you and there have been relatively few accidents in recent days. You’re even starting to feel like this potty training thing is no big deal. You wonder whether maybe it’s time to head out, to move beyond the safety of home. However, you know that potty training at home is very different to potty training in the big wide world but you aren’t sure how different and what to do to prepare yourself and educate your child on what to expect. Just because it’s new and perhaps a bit intimidating, you can’t stay home forever. No really, you can’t! Of course, it’s tempting to put them in pull ups so you won’t have to worry about any potential accidents. The only problem is that it isn’t really sending your child the right message about the path ahead. You know that your child can go for at least an hour in between potty visits so if you time it right you might be able to get there and back within the hour. Well, maybe. But bladders, especially children’s bladders, aren’t always like that. You know what it’s like when you get excited or nervous, you need to go to the bathroom more. Your child is like that too, only they can’t hold on like you can. So you may well find that your child needs to go more when they are out, not less. So what can you do? 1. Explain to your child what will happen when you are out, how it will likely be different from home and any concerns you may have. 2. Get them to go, or at least try to go potty before you leave. 3. Find out where the toilets are as soon as you get wherever you are going and go straight away. It’s much easier doing this calmly before they really need it than in the rush of a sudden urge. 4. If you’re out in public, as you move around always be on the lookout for those tell-tale bathroom signs so you know exactly which direction you should head if you need to. 5. If you don’t have a portable potty with you, try getting your child to sit backwards on a regular toilet – some children find this easier because they have the wall or toilet cistern to hold onto and don’t feel like they are going to fall off the seat on to the floor. 6. Take some spare clothing, a couple of plastic bags, and some baby wipes and paper towels with you in case of accidents. 7. If they have an accident in a shop or restaurant – let the staff know and race to the bathroom with your child. Sure it is embarrassing but you won’t be the first. All you can really do is apologise – quickly – and leave a big tip. 8. If your child has an accident at a friend’s house then it’s your responsibility to clean it up. Best to take your own paper towels so you can quickly spring into action without having to ask for everything and make it a big deal. 9. Don’t forget to take your sense of humour – accidents or not, you’re going to need it. There may be several false alarms with your child wanting to find out what happens when they say the magic trigger word. If you feel this is happening, try not to get upset with them. Instead try praising them for telling you and being so responsible about their potty training, even though you know it’s not easy. Good luck!

         
    Potty training dealing with constipation

     

    Some children don’t like having bowel movements, perhaps because they have felt pain before, and now resist going. This resistance can cause constipation as the faeces become hard and compacted, making bowel movements even more painful. Here are some questions you can ask to determine whether your child is constipated or not. • have they had a bowel movement in the past few days? • have they had less than their normal amount of bowel movements this week? • were their stools hard and dry? • was it painful for them to pass? • do they have stomach cramps or a distended stomach? • are they complaining of being nauseous? • are they losing weight? • have they been vomiting for no apparent reason? • are their underpants regularly soiled with claylike or liquid faeces? If you have answered yes to several of the above then you’ll know you need to take action and help your child. You can’t make your child have a bowel movement so what can you do? Get your child to drink more fluids, preferably water. • If they are severely constipated and over nine months of age then some prune juice mixed with water should sort them out overnight. • Make sure their diet is high in fibre – try giving them some dried fruit or grapes and reduce the amount of dairy they have. • Reduce their sugar intake • Licorice can have a laxative effect and is a better option than medication which should only be given with your physician’s approval. • Make sure they are getting enough exercise – it may be reflection of a sluggish metabolism. • Encourage them to go as soon as they feel the need. • If they just don’t like it then talk about the importance of having regular bowel movements and how everyone does it. • Encourage your child to sit on the potty for ten minutes an hour or so after each meal to see if you can encourage some regularity. • Make sure your child can rest their feet on a stool or the floor so that they feel stable and balanced and can easily push. • Try to make having a bowel movement more pleasant for your child by encouraging them to read a book or listen to music while they sit. If the constipation doesn’t go away then it is best to see your family doctor for advice as it may be indicative of something more serious.

         
    Potty training not for the faint of heart

     

    If you’ve determined that your child is ready for potty training, it’s time to take the plunge. It’s not easy, but don’t despair, your child will master potty training some time before kindergarten. It’s important to make sure you’re ready, too, because potty training requires a lot of commitment on the part of the Mom. First, you need to make potty training a project. If your child is really ready, and you make the commitment to focus on it, many children can be trained in about a week. But, you’ve got to stay on top of it to make it go quickly. Here are some tips to help you out. Use the timer Tell your child that when the bell rings, it’s time to race to the potty. Then set the timer for 20 minutes. When the timer goes off, race to the potty with the child and see if she can go. If not, set the timer for another 20 minutes and try again. As you determine the right interval, you can wait longer between alarms, but 20 minute intervals is a good place to start. Not only does this make a game for you and your toddler, it ensures that you won’t forget to ask if she needs to potty. Success breeds success here. If she can go for a long time without wetting her diaper, it will encourage her to remember. But, at first, you’ve got to remember. Offer rewards Offer some sort of reward every time your child goes in the potty. Double it if she tells you she needs to go and then actually goes. Every success should be wildly celebrated. We do our happy dance, sing our song and get stickers, each and every time. Let the little one go naked This tactic works best for those without carpet. Your child will really get the picture about how potty training works if he has an accident while wearing nothing on his bottom. It can be messy, but you’ll probably find that it really speeds up the process. It seems to work especially well with girls, as they really don’t like the feeling of wetness. The most important aspect of potty training is diligence. There are lots of tools that can help you, like books and dolls with their own potty. But the number one factor in succeeding quickly is simply making potty training a priority, so get prepared. Plan ahead of time to make this week “potty training week” and then stick to the plan. Stay home as much as possible to make training easier. Before you know it, you’ll be kissing those diapers goodbye!

         
    Potty training your child

     

    Potty training your child could be a big challenge, especially if it is your firstborn. You may be a little nervous wondering if you are doing everything correctly to ensure the process goes as smoothly as possible. Potty training is a natural part of a child's development and can be made easier just by understanding factors that indicate your child is ready to begin learning the task. One important thing to stay away from is thinking that potty training has to take place at a specific age. Children develop different skills at different ages and every child is unique. Therefore you can not expect your child to lean how to potty train at the same age your best friend's child learned. Instead be patient and understanding. Trying to potty train a child before they are ready could results in many setbacks. If the child does not understand what is happening and why you are taking them into the bathroom they may become discouraged and even afraid of the bathroom. This could add to the length of time it takes your child to learn how to use the potty. Therefore, you need to wait until your child is old enough to understand just what using the potty means. This would include things like knowing when your child is beginning to have better control over their bladder because they or staying dry more often. Also, when they show signs that they do not like having their pants wet or soiled then you can feel sure they are beginning to understand and its time to start potty training. They should also be coordinated enough to be able to pull their pants up and down. After all, if they cannot perform this task it would be difficult to use the potty and may begin to discourage them. You can help in this area by providing clothing that is easier for the child to remove. Children are very curious and love to watch what you do, by allowing them to observe you in the bathroom they will begin to understand and want to imitate this action. Have a potty chair ready for your child and explain to them what it is and how to use it. Keeping a light on in the bathroom can also help considering most light switches are too high for a child to reach. If they are spending too much time trying to get the light on then it may be too late to use the potty. One of the most important steps in potty training your child would be to never yell at them for accidents and always let them know you are proud of them.

         
    Practical tips for first time grandparents

     

    : Becoming a first-time grandparent is exciting. An event many people look forward to with great anticipation in later life. The first snapshot that reaches your anxious hands, the first time holding your grandchild’s tiny, sweet-smelling body in your arms. The first time hearing the long awaited words “grandma,” or “grandpa” from cherub lips all will make your heart melt with pride, joy, and love. Whether you live a great distance away, a few towns over, or just around the block, you can have a very positive impact on your grandchild’s life, become an important role model, and be of great help to your daughter or son – new in their role as a parent. First Things First…the New Parents - To ensure that things get off to a good start it is important to consider the following: How much help and advice is too much? After all, you don’t want to overwhelm new parents, not yet comfortable or confident in their new role as parents. Or make it appear as though you question their competence. To avoid possible offense, it might be best to offer advice sparingly, except when specifically asked. Once the new parents understand that your motive is genuine, and not because you think they are not doing a good enough job, they will relax and better appreciate your unique role as grandparent. It is also a good idea not to criticize the efforts of your child in their role as parent – or the efforts of their spouse.

    Unless the child’s safety, health, or emotional well-being is at risk, at which time helpful suggestions instead of pointed criticism will produce better results. Remember, your goal is to help create a happy and loving environment for your grandchild, not one marred by hurt or resentment. That aside, let’s looks at the many positive ways you can add to the quality of your life and that of your grandchild, at the same time benefiting the lives of others involved.

    Building a Special Bond with Your Grandchild - As a grandparent, you have the golden opportunity to play a very important and positive role in their life – now, and in years to come. If you live nearby, one way to spend quality time with your grandchild is to baby sit, as time and health permit. This not only provides you precious moments alone with your grandchild, but new parents benefit from time off by themselves. It is healthy for parents to take a “breather” every now and then, and what better person to care for the baby than you, the grandparent?

    Babies love to be rocked. They also enjoy pleasing sounds; singing softly is soothing to a baby, and creates a sense of contentment. The more you talk and sing to your grandchild, the quicker they will learn the sound of your voice, the sooner they respond with gurgles and giggles every time you enter the room. The Joys of Reading - Toddlers and young children love to be read to. Snuggling down in a chair with your grandchild, reading, laughing, and giggling together builds a closer bond between you and your grandchild. It also helps the child develop listening, reasoning, and language skills.

    Select interesting, age-appropriate stories, ones with plenty of bright, colorful pictures. Choose stories that stress good moral values, and teach life-lessons. After reading the story, ask your grandchild questions about the story; discuss what happened, what the character did or did not do, and why. Educators frequently emphasize the importance of the first three years of a child’s life. The size of their brain grows 90%, new skills are learned, and their unique personality blossoms. Engaging a young child in conversation encourages them to share their thoughts and feelings. Reading to them piques interest in literary works early in life. Both facilitate good communication and socialization skills. Long-Distance Grand Parenting - Even if you live a great distance away you can still have a big impact on your grandchild’s life. Precious moments visiting back and forth will feel all too short; but such visits will be precious and time spent together remembered with fondness.

    When grandchildren do visit, lots of hugs and planning a special activity together is important. A trip to the park or playground, playing a game, sharing a banana split at an ice cream shop all offer the opportunity to talk and share; filling in the missing months or years between visits. Distant grandparents can also take advantage of modern technology; the Internet, fax machines, and telephones. Cell phones – especially those that allow the exchange of pictures – are great and help bridge the miles.

    E-mailing pictures and messages over the Internet is an inexpensive, convenient, and fun way to maintain daily contactputer programs that allow voice messages and digital cameras for on-the-spot photo sharing enhance exchanges and are the next best thing to actually being there. At Savvy-Baby-Gear, we know that grandparents have the potential to impact their grandchildren’s lives in very tangible ways. They also have a marvelous opportunity to teach grandchildren about family history; linking the past with the present, giving that child a deep sense of belonging.

    © 2006 Lori S. Anton, Savvy Baby Gear Editor

         
    Practical tips to help your overweight kid

     

    1. Replace regular soda with plain water, or flavored water. Dilute fruit juices, half fruit juice and half with water. Encourage them to drink 2 glasses of 1% or fat free milk every day. You would be surprised to see how many calories you can drink in a day! 2. Make salads more flavorful by adding fruits like grapes, dried fruit, nuts, sections of mandarin orange, chunks of pineapple and sliced peaches. This is a great way to fill up without all the calories and fat that a second helping of your dinner might have. 3. Make fruit fun by freezing grapes, slices of banana and berries. Serve the frozen fruit topped with low-fat Cool Whip or dipped in a low-fat Chocolate pudding for dessert or a treat. 4. Keep a variety of low-fat yogurt, light cheese strings, veggie sticks like carrots, celery and peppers at the front of the refrigerator so the kids can grab them when they want a snack. Kids are more likely to choose these low-fat options if they are visible and readily available. 5. Keep a bowl of fresh fruit on the kitchen table where the kids can see it and reach for it without thinking. Kids tend to eat what they see! 6. Children tend to model your eating patterns, so set a good example by eating healthfully. Make sure you sit together at meal times and make food part of fun family time. 7. Make sure your child eats breakfast. Whole grain cereals, low-fat milk, yogurt and fruit it is easy and nutritious. Encourage your child to get his/her own breakfast from an early age and provide them with healthy options and a variety of food so they automatically make healthy choices. 8. Don't use food as a reward for good behavior and don't restrict food as a punishment. For example, don't say to your child "If you clean your room you can have an ice cream sundae" or “No dessert if you don’t finish your homework”. Using food as a reward or punishment can set your child up to have negative associations with food that can cause problems later in life. 9. Limit time spent watching TV - you’re own and the kids. There is overwhelming evidence that too much TV promotes obesity! People tend to eat more when in front of the TV and have less activity – a weight gaining combination! 10. Get active and have fun with your kids. Take them to the pool, play ball, bike riding, fishing, or hiking. Being active as a family will improve you and your child’s health.

         
    Practical ways to teach a child responsible behavior

     

    : Responsible behavior doesn’t come naturally; it is a learned trait. It is important for parents to teach their children responsible behavior at an early age; a healthy respect for the feelings of others, and a strong sense of right and wrong. Combined with setting a good example and involvement in a young child’s development of social skills, spend quality time with your child and instruct them about proper, responsible behavior. It can go a long way in helping to correct behavior problems that could lead to serious consequences down the road. Everyday experiences are a parent’s best tool when it comes to teaching responsible behavior. Because this type behavior is a learned trait, it can become habit through repetitiveness. Parents can effectively teach children with both words and deeds. Parents can always tell a child to respect others, and they may or may not comply in any given situation. But, when a parent consistently shows respect for other’s opinions, feelings, and possessions, they teach their children to do the same. Actions + Words = Effective Training Methods Our daily actions, attitudes, and social skills speak louder and much more effectively than words. As children watch what we do and ask questions, a golden opportunity is presented to teach valuable “life-lessons.” “Mommy, why did you let that old lady skip in front of us?” “Because she had only a few things to buy and we have a full cartload. I didn’t want her to have to stand in line for a long time.” “Do you know her?” “No. I’ve never met her before.” “Then how do you know she didn’t want to wait in line.” “Because she looked uncomfortable, and seemed to be in a hurry.” By exhibiting responsible, considerate behavior toward others, children learn from our actions. As we encourage questions and answer in ways that explain why we did something, children better understand and become more conscientious of other people’s needs instead of just their own. Story Time…A Golden Opportunity to Teach Responsibility Another good method for teaching children responsible behavior is with the use of stories. Most children are enthusiastic when it comes to having someone read them a story. Select books that teach life-lessons, and then discuss what was read. Encourage the child to ask questions, seeking the opportunity to emphasize good character traits, and the awareness that all actions – good or bad – will have consequences. Every Day Presents Opportunities of Its Own Consistency and application are keys when teaching small children about responsible behavior. Spend time with your child regularly. Encourage them to tell you about their day and things that happened; what they thought or felt, what they saw or heard, what they did or wanted to do. Use every opportunity to stimulate thoughts of awareness. Put emphasis on positive feelings, emotions, and qualities such as bravery, thoughtfulness, compassion, honesty, kindness, etc. Help your children identify these traits in persons they know, characters they see on television, or people they read about. Help them to identify and cultivate these qualities in themselves. At the end of each day, ask, “How were you honest today?” or “Tell me two ways you were considerate to someone else today.” Show Children How to Handle Negative Feelings Responsibly Also help children explore acceptable ways to effectively deal with negative feelings such as anger, hurt, resentment, loneliness, etc. If a child expresses feelings of anger toward someone, avoid the urge to say that anger is wrong; instead, explore their feelings of anger with them. Ask why they were angry, or ask them to tell you how angry they were. Help them understand that while it is natural to feel angry at times, how we express that anger is very important. There are acceptable ways to express anger, as well as unacceptable ways. Tell them a story or cite an example of someone who experienced a particular negative feeling, then ask your child questions like, “What should Becky have done when she got angry?” or, “Why do you think Eric was lonely? What could he have done about it?” Helping a child to understand the feelings of others as well as their own, and appropriate ways to express those feelings, are big strides toward learning responsible behavior. By spending time with your child on a regular basis and teaching through example and discussion, you equip your child with good socialization skills, and cultivate responsible behaviors sure to benefit them and others around them for a lifetime. ©2006 Lori S. Anton Savvy Baby Gear Editor

         
    Praise can too much damage your child s self esteem

     

    For the purpose of this article, I’m making a distinction between praise and sincere admiration. I see praise as an attempt to manipulate another’s behavior for your own ends. When you praise someone, you are doing it because you hope that they will repeat whatever behavior came before the praise. This may be a good thing when you are training a dog (I don’t have a dog so I can’t say for sure), but I’m not sold on the idea of ‘training’ our kids with the verbal equivalent of scooby snacks. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to have to remember to carry a pocket full of praise tidbits every time I leave the house. I’d like my kids to carry their motivation inside them, not eat it out of my hand. I believe most young children naturally feel satisfied with their accomplishments. Praise may actually serve to diminish this self-esteem by interfering with the inner feedback loop. When little Johnny stacks his blocks for the first time, the process of creating the stack IS his reward. He feels an internal sense of mastery when he realizes that he has the power to change that messy pile into a neat tower. But when we jump in to praise him because we hope he’ll do it again, we distract him from his inner sense of satisfaction. Instead we draw his attention to our evaluation of his skill. He may lose touch with his internal reward (the joy of mastery), and instead focus on earning more of our attention and approval. When we step in too quickly and too often with praise, the path to the child’s inner source of validation may become overgrown with weeds and hard to find (use it or lose it). He or she may become dependent upon validation from ‘out there’. And someday, sooner than you’d like to think, ‘out there’ is no longer your territory — it’s filled with peers. When that day comes for my kids, I’m hoping their internal paths to self-validation are very well worn and familiar! To learn about alternatives to over-praising, please read my article titled Tapping Your Child’s Inner Motivation. Copyright Karen Alonge 2006

         
    Prenatal movement and parental response i can feel my baby move

     

    “I think I can feel my baby move,” Whitney said, her dewy blue eyes wide with anticipation. Her voice rose at the end, turning her sentence into a query. She was a few weeks shy of the second trimester of her second successful pregnancy. Exuberantly curious, she sought validation for her awareness. Whitney was more confident with this baby than her first, but on the issue of whether or not she in fact could detect her baby’s movement, she was uncertain. The delivery of Whitney’s first child was by caesarean section. At the time, and now in retrospect, she questioned the procedure. It had evoked a prolonged and recurring experience of loss. She knew that she wanted to deliver her second child vaginally, and that her doctor would object. These were the thoughts dancing in Whitney’s mind when she inquired about feeling movement. She pushed them aside to be attentive for her doctor’s response. “No, that’s not possible. It’s probably just gas,” Dr. Carlson said, with a sweet, preoccupied smile. Whitney genuinely liked her doctor. She knew that Dr. Carlson was a good physician, and that she too was a mom. Dr. Carlson had returned to her career after the birth (by caesarean) of her own daughter. Whitney, on the other hand, had gone from being a successful businesswoman with a top salary to being a full-time mom. She loved it! It was not Dr. Carlson’s professionalism or commitment that troubled Whitney; it was what she suspected Dr. Carlson did not know about a mother’s capacity to feel her connection to prenatal life and development. Whitney had learned how to be sensitive to her body and to her own feelings since becoming a mother. She had also made it her job to learn about the latest discoveries in embryology. Ironically, her baby’s caesarean delivery was the impetus for her increased awareness. It had catapulted her into a passionate quest for the truth about early life, her own as well as her children’s. She was disturbed by the air of secrecy blowing around the cloak of authority that she encountered in the medical world. Whitney had also learned the essential parenting practice of sorting her feelings and sensations until she understood their frequently hidden meanings. This was the route to self-empowerment. She was reclaiming what she felt she had lost during the delivery of her first child. She knew she was looking for supportive mirroring from Dr. Carlson about her baby’s movement, but when she did not get it, she reflected on this instead of reacting to it. Moments later Whitney determined that only she could address her uncertainty about her baby’s movement. When she inquired inside, the answer was definitely, yes, she could feel her baby move. In her first pregnancy, she would have accepted her doctor’s response. Having traversed the painful territory of post-partum depression that she now correlated specifically with the unnecessary caesarean, Whitney had become much more confident in her feminine wisdom. She could honor her hormonally endowed attunement to herself and her child. She was alert to her own tendency to collude in an institutionalized disempowerment of mothers. As she reflected further on Dr. Carlson’s response, Whitney wondered what kind of relationship she could have with a doctor who did not trust a mother’s experience. Whitney dialogued with her unborn child. Silently, but with passion, she said to her baby, “I recognize your movement and I love it! I’m sorry I was not more confident earlier.” Her baby moved, subtly but clearly, spreading out, stretching with relief in utero. “Movements of the embryo and fetus are a fundamental expression of early neural activity,” says embryologist Jan Nijhuis in his groundbreaking book Fetal Behavior. “The fetus of 8-10 weeks post-menstrual age moves spontaneously in utero under normal circumstances.” Prenatal movement in the first trimester, and then the patterns of movement that form in the second trimester, are the expression of the developing baby’s nervous system. This primary neurological unfolding is nourished and enhanced by parental awareness, dialogue and subtle touch on the mother’s body that communicates to the baby. The entire family can participate in this encouragement. The knowledge of how to do this is inherent in each of us. It is part of the magnificent design of the human being. Excellent education is now available to stimulate and sustain this natural wisdom. Awakening to, trusting and acting upon our innate human connection is the joy of parenthood. Prenatal movement is preparation for neonatal activity. It is also warm-up for the marathon of labor and delivery. It is designed to result in the baby’s thrilling victory of entry into the arms of a world already sensed and perceived. Movement patterns in prenates are replicated in neonates, demonstrating the continuity of neural behavior. The human fetus sleeps, breathes moves, eliminates, and feels, sees, cries, initiates and responds. He or she is acutely sensitive, as a result of constantly expanding neurological capacities, to the surrounding environment and its vicissitudes. The prenate communicates its experiences the only way it can: through motility. Eye movement, heart-rate, respiration, gestures, and elimination patterns speak volumes about the individual prenatal world. Regularity of movement can be a sign of health whereas deceleration or lack of movement can signal distress or concern. Certain fetal movements may convey discomfort. By noticing movements or their absence, the family can come to know its new arrival and begin, well before birth, to integrate the baby into the family. Prenatal consciousness is neurologically organized to be present, alert and receptive. The unborn baby delights in recognition. The question of whom and what the baby in utero actually is and what he or she is capable of doing can best be answered by a respectful collaboration between scientists, parents and people who remember their own prenatal lives. Optimally, these three categories can be combined. Scientists, like me, who are passionate about the role and function of very early life in holistic healthcare, are building the case to demonstrate that prenatal life is, in fact, the basis of all health. Immune function, structural development, spiritual wellbeing, relational health, confidence, and the capacity to respond to change and threat in a balanced way are all formed by what transpires in utero. Embryology bears this out. Of all the populations that will make the best use of this information, parents, I believe, are the most significant.. The personality of the unborn baby is present and engaged with its family from virtually the moment of conception, and some believe even before. The baby is not only interacting, he or she is a full time student, constantly learning and creating the blueprint for a lifetime of physical health, relationships and motivation. All relationships flourish with authentic and frequent communication. This is as true for prenates as it is for husband and wife, and for parents and children of all ages. I am reminded of a story reported to me by a young friend who attended a conference where insights into prenatal health were discussed. He was inspired by what he heard. Soon after, he discovered that friends of his had been told that their baby was breach and that a caesarean was scheduled. This young man immediately went to their home, sat in front of the mother’s pregnant belly, and begged and pleaded with the baby to turn. He spoke with full commitment, faith and insistence. The baby turned and was delivered vaginally. What does embryology say about the prenate’s ability to hear and respond to auditory communication? Neonates as well as prenates, until relatively recently, were regarded as being deaf as well as mute. Beginning in 1977, however, research demonstrated that the fetus responds to sound from at least 12 weeks in utero and perhaps sooner. Certain sounds, like the mother’s heartbeat, elicit strong responses. The mother’s voice is decidedly heard, as well as the voices of others in the environment. This is supported by the discovery that neonates prefer the sound of their mother’s voice to other sounds. Auditory sensory mechanisms begin developing during the fourth and fifth week in utero and continue to completion by about the 25th week. At the early stages, however, the baby can hear. A study involving invasive sound at less than 24 weeks of gestation revealed that after hearing a loud and shrill noise that evoked initial dramatic fetal movement, the fetus stopped responding completely. The overwhelming invasion resulted in fatigue and collapse. The fetus learned it was powerless to stop the invasion. The method of the study disturbs me but I hope we will learn from this and stop such painful experiments. However, we can take this knowledge and use it to protect our own prenates from auditory assault! How do babies reveal their memories post-natally? Long term studies conducted by Italian psychologist Alessandra Piontelli and published in her book From Fetus to Child show that babies who are frightened and insecure in utero and who demonstrate this through their behavioral states, do the same thing at five years of age and older. Whitney’s experience of her first son’s memories of his caesarean birth supports this theory. In the midst of storytelling, Timmy said “Will our new baby have to wait to come out instead of pushing, the way I did, Mommy?” At first Whitney stared at her son in amazement, and then she acknowledged his wisdom, just as she had learned to acknowledge her own. “Was waiting hard for you?” she asked her son. “It was very hard,” Timmy replied. “I don’t want my baby to have to wait.” “OK,” Whitney said, “I’ll do my best so there will be no waiting this time.” Whitney learned how her child’s embryological behavioral states continued into the birthing process when she went into labor. The process slowed just when it should have intensified, causing even her midwife to consider going to the hospital. It was deja vu for Whitney and her family. “It’s OK,” Whitney told her family and midwife, turning the tables on her team. Weren’t they supposed to be reassuring her? “My baby is just concerned,” she declared, smiling. “We need to have a conversation.” Her body provided Whitney with the truth she trusted. Her baby could and would decide the time of birth. Whitney closed her eyes and commenced an internal dialogue in which she encouraged her child to continue to journey forward and inquired about what the difficulty might be. Her communion was a show stopper for everyone. “What’s he saying?” Timmy blurted out, unable to control himself. He had always known he had a brother in there! “He says that he doesn’t know if we will have time for him because we are all so busy. He’s not sure we really want him,” Whitney said softly, looking directly at her husband. “Is that just you talking?” Blake asked, dumfounded. “He’s been listening, watching and learning,” Whitney answered, her face radiant in the greatest certainty she had ever known. “OK,” Blake said, tears streaming down his face. “I’ll spend more time at home. I really want to.” By this time he was sobbing. The baby’s response was the biggest contraction Whitney had ever felt. Within thirty minutes their baby was born. They named him Micah, the merciful messenger.

         
    Preparing your child cognitively to read

     

    The ultimate goal of reading instruction is to enable children to understand what they read, so reading instruction has to be about more than simply matching letters and sounds -- it also has to be about connecting words and meaning. It is clear from research on emerging literacy that learning to read is a relatively lengthy process that begins very early in development and clearly before children enter formal schooling. Children who receive stimulating literacy experiences from birth onward appear to have an edge when it comes to vocabulary development, understanding the goals of reading, and developing an awareness of print and literacy concepts. Children who are read to frequently at very young ages become exposed in interesting and exciting ways to the sounds of our language, to the concept of rhyming, and to other word and language play activities that serve to provide the foundation for the development of phoneme awareness. As children are exposed to literacy activities at young ages, they begin to recognize and discriminate letters. Without a doubt, children who have learned to recognize and print most letters as preschoolers will have less to learn upon school entry. The learning of letter names is also important because the names of many letters contain the sounds they most often represent, thus orienting youngsters early to the alphabetic principle or how letters and sounds connect. The earlier you begin working on language with your child -- simply speaking to your child, reading to your child, and then listening and responding to your child's communications -- the better off your child will be when the time comes to learn to ready. Studies show a strong connection between early language development and reading. Language and reading require the same types of sound analysis. The better babies are at distinguishing the building blocks of speech at six months, the better they will be at more complex language skills at two and three years old, and the easier it will be for them at four and five years old to grasp the idea of how sounds link to letters. However preparing your child to become a reader needs to go beyond this to cognitive readiness. Cognitive readiness is essentially making sure your child has the essential foundations for reading. This includes the development and understanding of language, such as vocabulary, sentence structure, and grammar; but also includes background knowledge and experience. For example, a child can easily make the transition from seeing the neighbor's cat to the parent connecting the word "cat" with the animal. Then later when the child is learning the alphabet and connecting sounds with various letters the cat is again brought into play. Finally, when it is time to begin reading text the child is already well on her way to understanding the written word "cat" through her experience of seeing and hearing it. However children need help learning these concepts. A child will not learn the names, sounds, and shapes of letters simply by being around adults who like to read and who engage in reading. Children learn these concepts when adults take the time and effort to share experiences with oral and written language. Preparing your child to read must take a step beyond this as well. Children's cognitive skills and knowledge are frequently thought of as core ingredients in the recipe for success in school. Children's language/literacy refers to both their oral communication (language) and understanding of the written word (literacy). The concept of general knowledge refers to children's conceptions and understandings of the world around them. As children enter kindergarten for the first time, they differ in their cognitive skills and knowledge. Studies of first-time kindergartners indicate that children's reading, mathematics, and general knowledge are related to their age as they enter kindergarten, the level of their mother's education, their family type, the primary language spoken in the home, and their race/ethnicity. The undisputed purpose of learning to read is to comprehend. Even before children can read for themselves, it can help them to build vital background knowledge by having adults read to them interactively and frequently. This means not only is the book or story shared with the child -- but then the reader and the child discuss the book and the world, characters, and events it introduces. It is important for parents who want to build their child's cognitive readiness to actually choose of variety of texts that will expand what their children know about the world around them. Further, comprehension is enhanced through discussion of the text which in turn might lead to seeking out further text on this or related subjects. Effective instruction will help the reader actively relate his or her own knowledge or experience to the ideas written in the text, and then remember the ideas that he or she has come to understand. Helping your child become cognitively ready for reading will also include giving your child diverse experiences in the world and with events and people so they can make connections between the real world and their reading. This does not have to mean extensive travel or expensive outings. Many times simply taking children to various events and places within your community can provide experience with people of different ages and ethnic backgrounds, for example. Ultimately, children's ability to understand what they are reading is inextricably linked to their background knowledge. Very young children who are provided opportunities to learn, think, and talk about new areas of knowledge will gain much from the reading process. With understanding comes the clear desire to read more and to read frequently, ensuring that reading practice takes place. Some things you can do to help cognitively prepare your child for reading: * Read new stories and reread old stories every day. * Help extend their experience with the words, language, and ideas in books by interactively reading to them every day. * Relate information in books to other events of interest to children, such as holidays, pets, siblings, and games. Engage children in discussion of the topics. * In both stories and informational texts, encourage wondering. For example, "What will happen next?" or "Have you ever seen someone do that?" * Point out how titles and headings as well as text when you are reading.

         
     
         
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