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    Free Essay
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    North america s attitude toward interracial relationships has been changing remarkably with every new generation

     

    North America's attitude toward interracial relationships has been changing remarkably with every new generation. Although only 5% of the marriages in the United States are interracial, today's college students have an entirely different perspective of what constitutes acceptable relationships. Currently, almost half of all college students would be willing to become involved in an interracial relationship, while one quarter of college students have already been involved in an interracial relationship. Since 1967, when the United States' Supreme Court legalized interracial marriages, minority enrollment in North American colleges and the tolerance for multiculturalism have increased, leading to a more positive environment for interracial relationships. The black population, although a minority, are twice as likely as whites to be willing to become involved in an interracial relationship. This acceptance may be attributed to a larger proportion of whites available to a minority number of blacks, more exposure and thus an increased comfort with white culture, as well as a greater ease for blacks to fit into the white culture, than visa versa. College and university provide unique social microclimates for students. The proportions of minority groups in post secondary institutions tend to be higher than in mainstream society, and thus increase student exposure to different cultures. Cohabitation for students is also non normative, in comparison to mainstream society and may increase the willingness for students to form different kinds of relationships that may not normally occur outside of these institutions. Therefore, college life provides an increase in the daily exposure and interaction between diverse cultural groups and may cause for a greater likelihood of interracial relationships. The willingness to become involved in an interracial relationship had no doubt increased over time, but the acceptance of these relationships remains somewhat taboo in society. Movies such as "Jungle Fever" and "Guess Who?" demonstrate that interracial dating persists as an issue in mainstream society and continues to make people uncomfortable. Although almost half of college students are willing to become involved in interracial relationships, parents continue to have a great deal of influence over their children's decisions. With only 5% of marriages in the United States being interracial, it is unlikely that their offspring will be encouraged to pursue interracial relationships. Only time will tell what lays ahead for North Americas multicultural student bodies.

         
    Nurturing friendships

     

    When we plant a tree, we take care of that plant from the smallest stage of growth. We not only nurture that plant with water, air and fertilizers, but also protect it from any damage. Friendship is one such plant. One has to take care of friends, as one takes care of the plants, one grows. Most of us take friendship for granted. We believe that friends are always there, whenever we need them. Why this attitude for friendship? Because, a day soon comes when our friends will begin feeling that we don't care for them. That day the friendship will get over. Does anyone wants to destroy long term friendships? No! What can be done to keep the friendship strong? How to relate with friends so that the bond grows stronger? What to expect from friends, and what to give them in return? Make a quick list of all your good friends. Now write the date, when you last communicated with them in anyway. When did you last meet them? When did last share meal with them, or a drink? When did you send them a gift? What was the date, when you tried to find out about their problems? Did you ask them and they called up to tell you? What is the ratio of your telling them of your problems, and they telling you theirs? Go deeper in the analysis of relationship. This exercise may reveal quite a lot to you about your bonding and sharing. Put yourself in your friend's shoes and think about what they might be feeling about the friendship? This exercise will give you clues about anything that needs to be done by you to nurture friendship. Value your friendship by nurturing it on a regular basis. Meeting friends regularly, finding about what may be bothering them, sending them small gifts over intervals, sharing jokes with them, asking them for a movie together, and so many other things can help us make our friendship bond stronger. Make your friends feel proud of you and your friendship. To communicate regularly with your friends, send them ecards on various occasions and for different reasons. Sending ecards is better than email most of the times. Make your friendship stronger.

         
    On finding mr. right

     

    Author of Man Camp You think you know exactly what you want in a man, right? You can probably even list the attributes, qualities and qualifications that your future husband needs in order to apply for the job of your mate. I had a three-tiered system myself. First, there were the requirements: an interesting profession (preferably in the arts), a great sense of humor, a sterling character, financial security. Next, there was the frosting (as in, wouldn’t-it-be-nice-if-he-were…): over six feet tall, devastatingly handsome, a cat lover. And finally, there were the deal breakers: children, difficult ex-wives, bad toupees. Of course, like you, I fancied myself to be magnanimous and flexible in as much as I was willing to overlook certain undesirable traits – say, thinning hair and a few extra pounds – for the perfect guy. Now, even if your list is different from mine, I think you know what I’m talking about. Here’s some advice: Lose your lists now, Ladies! Mine almost kept me from getting to know my husband. Tim and I were set up on a blind date by a mutual friend. We were both divorced and practiced daters, and knew the rules of the game. We met at a conveniently located wine bar and immediately set into the first date volley of get-to-know-you-questions: Where are you from? What do you do? How many siblings? My first impression of Tim was that he was utterly unobjectionable: nice, attractive, smartly dressed, well mannered. But something was missing . . . . Let’s revisit my list. First off, Tim’s "interesting profession" was in finance, which to a writer like me seemed like a big snoozer of a job. Next, he was a listener, so at first glance, it didn’t appear that he had a "great sense of humor." As for the other two requirements – a "sterling character" and "financial security" – both are tough to determine on a first date. What he did have in spades were deal breakers – two sons (teenagers, no less) and a horrific ex-wife. My thought bubble at the time? Check, please. What to do next was a no-brainer: I finished my glass of Shiraz, graciously declined his dinner invitation, gave him a peck on the cheek and thought, Nice knowing you, Buddy. I went home, curled up with a book and didn’t give Tim or our date a second thought. Luckily for me, my husband didn’t subscribe to the list mentality himself. He called. He pursued. He courted. I joked about him to my friends – Who was this suit and why wouldn’t he just leave me alone? But Tim was sincere in his feelings and steadfast in his determination. He wouldn’t take no for an answer. Since I refused to make time for proper dates for weeks, he tagged along to some readings and other literary events. Reluctantly, over the course of several months, I got to know him. Turns out, Tim is unquestionably the man of my dreams, though he bears little resemblance to the fantasy man I thought I’d end up with. Tim is funny and smart and warm beyond words and, though finance still isn’t fascinating to me, it is to him, which is all that matters in the end. He has given me a daughter and made my life happy in ways I would never have imagined. And to think, if left to my own devices – and my own list – I probably wouldn’t even remember his name right now. Here are a few things to remember. Lists only rule people out, which isn’t a good way of allowing someone new and wonderful into your life (presumably your goal). If the guy you’re with is not as tall or as rich or as skilled in witty bantering as you thought Mr. Right should be, take the time to notice what his strengths are. It’s always easier to see what’s wrong than what’s right, and far more rewarding to do the opposite. Remember, it’s hard to find love if you’re busy thinning the herd. Besides, are you really willing to gamble potential happiness away because he doesn’t earn seven figures? Get to know the person across the table from you and above all, be open! Author Adrienne Brodeur is the founding editor of Zoetrope: All-Story. She lives in New York City. Visit her website at gotomancamp.

         
    One night stands vs long term relationships

     

    In our days there are still a lot of people out there which are single because they haven’t got a relationship until now. One of the reasons why this happen is because men are still confusing about something; which is better to choose: one night stands or long term relationships? Both have advantages and disadvantages that's why it is good to think better before to jump in a relationship or to start these ''one night stands' '. People who choose to have one - night - stands are not ready to have a relationship. They have fear of commitment and consider that living single can be pretty sweet; if you are unattached woman the best of all is that you can spend as much time as you want with your friends. That's why they prefer a one night stand. Let's face it: a one night stand is someone you pick up in a bar, you don't know her, take it to your place, and have a healthy sex and leaves in the next morning, nothing more. What do you hope to find in the arms of someone who doesn't care about you? Instead, a long term relationship between a guy and a girl is based around strong mutual attraction on the physical, mental and possibly even spiritual levels; it involves the concept of love and desire to be with someone you care very highly about for a long time. The guys who are looking just for hooking are afraid to enter in a relationship, afraid of intimacy, rejection or afraid of opening up to someone. So, the ones who never had a one night stand until now, will want to try it as a personal growth experience. Men love sex, especially when there are no strings attached, and sometimes the urge is irresistible. Sexual desire is far more than a simple physiological need. Experiencing a variety of people in a sexual context teaches you a variety of sexual techniques and ways of being. One night stands can be fun, very sensual, and harmless and will definitely boost your ego: but you have to think about the consequences that may happen. One of the bad things that you can take sexually transmitted diseases, because you don't know very well the girl, you don't know with many guys was before you, so she might be infected. In a one night stand the partners become incredibly intimate at a very early stage so they become too vulnerable to each other before they know better. For a long term relationship you must choose someone highly compatible in all areas, your partner should be your companion, friend and sex mate. For a one night stand you can choose a much greater variety of people, including women who are extremely sexually exciting, the decision can be made very quickly because anyway in the next day would matter anymore because she will leave for all. Relationships require making a commitment and incurring obligations; you can't chase after every opportunity if you want to built a relationship, you must have some patience. Even though, it can be very beautiful to have a relationship, because your partner cares of you and will be there for you when you have problems, will help you at need, you have always with whom to speak your problems. The one night stand girl will let you since the second day morning and will never care about you. It is at your choice how you want to live your life, but remember that if you spend your energy looking for casual sex, there is a little time left over for developing a long term relationship; the rewards of investing time in a long time relationship are not immediate.

         
    Online dating your profile picture

     

    When you are first joining an online dating community, the most important thing that you can do is build up a good profile. Your profile is going to be the very first thing that people read to get an impression of you but also with most people, guys and girls the same will learn from an appearance. It is important that you create a good profile but your page will get many more views if you upload a picture or two. Having a profile picture can make the best difference when looking for love or friendship online. Why do some of the users have a profile picture? People are very conscious about what they look like. Some do believe that a member of the opposite sex will not give others a chance if they are good looking. Beauty is only in the eye of the beholder. If you truly are embarrassed to place a photo of yourself online, you should first try and learn to enjoy your own appearance before seeking another for a relationship. There are other people that are scared that posting a picture is an invitation for online predators to scam them. It is true that if you post provocative pictures this can happen. However a regular picture will not usually attract any criminal activity by others. If it would, you should practice safety online to avoid getting involved in giving away too much information about yourself. Posting pictures is a relatively safe idea if you are going to use common sense. To get the most productive results, you need to post more than one picture. Fir you should find a good head shot. This can be flirty, funny, or happy. One in which you are looking good and happy with a great smile is going to be the best bet. For the second picture, use a shot that shows at least one of the rests of your body. If you do not include this, some people may think that you are trying to hide something from them. It is better to be proud of who you are and your weight than to hide it and have someone find out later on down the road. Remember that everyone is looking for something different in another person’s appearance. You need to include some action shots. An example would be if you like animals you should post a picture of you and your dog. If you like sports, you can use a picture in your baseball uniform or at the game may be good. If you travel a lot, you can upload a great picture of you at a landmark in the background. These are all interesting shots that will give the other online a good idea of your personality. Getting the interest of another person is the main goal of online dating and a picture can help you get the results that you are looking for.

         
    Online dating safety make sure your safe

     

    So you’ve decided to set up a uk dating profile online... (If you haven't, what are you waiting for?) What Happens now? Sit back and wait for the emails to flow in, or search for someone, the choice is yours. Whatever you choose to do, here are a few practical guidelines to think about. Flirting and dating on-line is no different to doing it off-line, just a lot safer and easier if you do it right. Most of the 'rules' are common sense. Your mother was most probably right - you just don't have to admit it. Creating The Right Impression Make sure your profile is not misleading. Give the wrong idea and you'll be sure to get the wrong response or no responses at all. Think About What You Say So, you've spotted a singleton that you want to contact online. But what do you say? It's important to try and make the right impression when first making contact online, as you may only get once chance to get it right! • Be Clear - Words and phrases can be interpreted in many different ways, so when drafting your message try and be as clear as you can to avoid any misinterpretation. • Be Concise - Don't attempt to write a long winded message that needs its own chapters, a few well written sentences is enough to make an initial introduction. • Ask Questions - A couple of questions before signing off gives the recipient more of an incentive to respond to you, and also gives them something to talk to you about in their response. • Keep Momentum - Once initial contact has been made, its vital to keep momentum going, keep asking questions and find out things you have in common to keep conversation flowing. • Be Friendly and Polite - Cracking bad jokes, excessive swearing, or voicing strong and possibly controversial opinions may not get you off onto the right foot. • Be Positive - There is nothing worse than a singleton droning on about negative experiences, be it in relationships or other aspects of their life. You may risk sounding negative, depressive, or negative which isn't appealing. Personal Details The greatest thing about being online is the safety and privacy it affords you. Just be careful! When you start corresponding with people don't give out your personal details too early. Build up a sense of mutual trust first. Keep your last name, telephone number, email address, place of work and exact family details private until you are ready to share them. Don't be Pushed Watch out for people pressing you for your personal details too early and too often. Also, hang back on meeting off-line until you are ready. Inconsistencies keep an eye out for changes in content and style in the messages you receive. If Mr Loving Kindness suddenly starts sounding like Carlos the Jackal on testosterone it may be an idea to back off or move on. Dating Scams what can I do to protect myself? • only use a reputable online dating or chat service and follow the basic safety tips for online dating • be sceptical and ask yourself simple questions like, 'why am I the only person who can help them but I have just met them?' • test your date - ask them lots of questions, try to phone them or post them something or possibly suggest meeting them. If all attempts fail, you are probably dealing with a scammer. Meeting Off-Line This is the big one! You mailed each other, chatted and are ready to take the plunge and meet for real. Whilst taking your brother from the commandos with you may ensure your safety, chances are your date may get nervous, or prefer him to you! Make your first few meetings in public places, ideally at lunchtime if you can. If you have a mobile phone takes it with you and possibly take a pre-arranged call. Tell someone where you are going and try to have plans for after your date - don't be caught out with "so what are you doing after dinner?". Have your answer ready. Don't give out your home or work address and don't give in to pressure. One of the best places to meet someone for the first time is in a city or town centre coffee shop. Tell the person you are meeting at the outset that you only have half an hour to spare, and then if things are not going well or you feel uncomfortable with them, you can make your excuses without causing any offence. If you are both getting on fine, then you can just extend the "half hour" for as long as you wish. And guys, all this applies to you too. The chances of being taken for a ride by women may be less, but don't discount it. Most importantly, relax, have fun and keep things safe.

         
    Online speed dating in manchester learn how its done

     

    Online Speed Dating In Manchester Dating In Manchester is made easier with Dating The UK co uk, the brand new and unique Manchester dating service. If you live in Manchester or any were else in the UK this is just for you! Our services include the BRAND NEW AND UNIQUE online speed dating, live chat, flirting on the Internet, personalised profiles and search facilities and all on a secure server so that you know your information will be completely 100percent safe. Dating The UK has gained the reputation for a great place to try online speed dating. It doesn't matter if you are looking for a friend, a romantic experience or the love of your life, the detailed Dating The UK online dating database is sure to find the perfect match for you. Dating the UK has grown massively in the past few months since we went live. Dating the UK Services - Register for Free Our service couldn't be simpler and can be used by the biggest of technophobes! Dating The UK allows you to spend a few minutes talking to each and every person that you are matched with before moving on to the next person so if you happen to find someone that you connect with, and with our great service you undoubtedly will, then you can chat some more at the end of the speed dating event! What could be better than that? Dating The UK Success Stories Rich_manchester01 I've been chatting to various people on Dating the UK for a couple of months now. I was early enough to catch the launch party and met some people in real life. Its a really friendly site where the organisers listen to the feedback, get involved and actively encourage new activities, and what's more it offers the best value for money on the web. Charles I have met and fallen in love with a darling of a girl through the Dating The UK Dating site. She is everything I could ever have possibly hoped for and far, far, more. Others might like take note that this deep love affair was based on wooing with thousands and thousands of beautiful words by email before we even exchanged telephone numbers and subsequently met. So much more can be said with words, and one can only emphasise that the importance of a courtship started in this way will be far more meaningful to discovering what a possible suitor is truly about rather than hurrying along too quickly by telephoning or rushing into a date one is ill prepared for. We cannot possibly be happier and still have to pinch ourselves that what has happened is reality and for that we are so grateful that we both joined Kindred Spirits and have come together in such blissful harmony. This is a love story of the very best and most beautiful kind. Thank you Dating The UK

         
    Overcoming fears of intimacy

     

    Sam, age 42, had never been married. It’s not that Sam had never fallen in love. But every time a relationship had started to move toward commitment, Sam ran. When Sam’s loneliness became overwhelming to him, he called me for help. “I want to be in a relationship, yet every time I get close to someone, I run away. I’m not even sure what I’m so afraid of, but I must be terrified of something!” “Sam, what happens inside you when you like someone?” The following answer and resulting dialogue came out over time, but I’ve condensed it here. “I think that if this person really knew me, she wouldn’t like me. I do all kinds of nice things for her so she will like me. Then after a while I start to feel trapped and I pull back. She gets upset about my pulling back and I then feel even more trapped. Once she gets mad at me, I stop feeling in love with her. That’s when I decide she is not the right one for me. This has happened over and over.” “So the first problem is that you believe that she won’t like you when she gets to know you. Out of your fear of rejection, you try to control how she feels about you by doing nice things for her. But then you feel trapped and your fear of engulfment – of being controlled by her and losing yourself in the relationship – kicks in. Then you run. It sounds like your underlying fears of rejection and engulfment are controlling your life and not letting you share love.” “That’s exactly right! So what do I do about this?” Sam was operating from core shame – the false belief that there was something basically wrong with him. As long as he believed that he was inherently flawed and unlovable, he would fear rejection. Out of his fear of rejection, he would give himself up until he felt trapped, and then he would run. The part of Sam that believed that he wasn’t good enough is his wounded self. The basis of the wounded self in all of us is our core shame false belief – the belief that we are inherently flawed. Our wounded self does not know that we are a perfect child of God, an individual expression of the Divine. Because the wounded self operates out of false beliefs rather than from the truth of who we really are, it wants to control how people feel about us. Sam needed to develop a loving Adult part of himself – a part of himself connected to a spiritual Source of love and truth – in order to heal his core shame. The Six Step Inner Bonding process is a profound process for developing the loving Adult and for healing the fears and limiting beliefs of the wounded self. As Sam started to practice Inner Bonding, he slowly developed an Adult self who loved and valued his core Self, his true essence. As he developed this inner sense of personal power, he lost his fear of rejection. He saw that if a woman rejected him, it was because of her fears rather than because of his inadequacy or unlovability. Because he stopped taking rejection personally, he stopped fearing it. Once he stopped fearing rejection, he stopped giving himself up in his attempt to control how a woman felt about him. Once he stopped giving himself up, he stopped feel trapped and engulfed in a relationship. Over time, by consistently practicing the Six Steps of Inner Bonding, Sam developed a powerful inner loving Adult self and healed his fears of rejection and engulfment. Sam is now happily married with a child on the way. This did not happen quickly. It took Sam time to heal his false beliefs about his own adequacy and lovability. It took time to develop a personal relationship with a spiritual Source of love and truth. It took time to be in truth with a woman rather than being “nice” to try to control how she felt about him. It took time for him to feel safe in being himself. It took a couple of years of devoted inner work. But if you were to ask Sam if all the time it took was worth it, he would look at you with shining eyes and a huge grin and you would feel the joy within him. You would have no doubt that it was worth whatever time it took.

         
    Partnership originated from a dream

     

    A few years ago I - Natali - was still living in Russia and had never dreamt of living in a foreign country. On a beautiful sunny day, back in 1996, when I worked as a kindergarden-teacher, we were given notice that our kindergarden was about to be closed down. Two months later I was out of work. Totally by chance - as it happens often - I discovered an ad in the newspaper, where a company offered work for AuPair girls abroad. It seemed quite interesting and tempting, so I went to see this company right away. Being unemployed, what did I have to lose? My experience in working with children and also my language skills (so I thought then) where quite good. However, the company wasnґt able to find a job for me. Since I donґt like to leave my projects unaccomplished, I continued my search by sending an ad and a photopgraph to several AuPair agencies, waiting for offers. After a while I started receiving letters. To my surprise I wasnґt offered jobs but - dates! I thought "Why not?" and chose the candidates I liked best. There were quite a few of them. One day I received a particularly nice and interesting letter and I just knew: "This is Him!" Soon we were exchanging 2-3 e-mails a week - without a translation program! Since I did not have an Internet at home, I had to ride a long way to an Internet Cafe. Remembering that time and all the effort it took, I wonder "How on earth did I manage?" Could it have been love already? Half a year later we met. Everything seemed great and my heart was singing with joy because I felt I had met the person who I might share my life with, good things and bad. However, I had no such luck! My new friend refused because I have a rather serious eye problem. His answer was: "My heart tells me to marry you but my mind says "No", for there may be too many problems coming up in the future. All I can offer you is my friendship." So we separated as friends and continued writing each other for two more years, when one day I received a letter which read as follows: Dear Natali, itґs been quite some time that we got to know each other and I just canґt forget your kindness and your warm heart. I have been through a lot of experiences and thinking about a lot of things. And I have come to the realization that you are the woman I have been looking for all my life and... Do you want to become my wife? On April 20, 2002 we celebrated our wedding. By now we know for certain, that we are meant for each other. That is why we set out to help Russian women and American men who are lonely to find their happiness as well! Together we have created a partnership agency on the Internet and we invite you to visit our Site! For - who knows - you too, may find your love and happiness there!

         
    Pass it on the three golden gates

     

    The three golden gates is something I first heard about from one of my first pastors, Richard Land. It did not originate with him but I have always been glad that he chose to repeat these words to me. Richard is now heard across the nation daily on hundreds of family life radio stations. He said that before you say anything to anybody you should see if it can pass successfully through all three of the golden gates. If it couldn’t make it through all three gates it was probably not something that should be spoken at all. The first golden gate is, “Is It True.” For most people this is the only gate they let their words pass through. Who has not heard someone retort “well it is true isn’t it” right after they had slaughtered someone with a few poison words. This is poor diplomacy at best and is often used as a cloke of maliciousness. That something is true is not a mandate for you to repeat it to the hurt of others. It is no secret that truth without love is cruelty and love without truth is sentimentality. Many truths are weapons in the hands of those whose motive it is to hurt. Truth then is only gate number one, so lets move on. The second golden gate is, “Is It Needful.” Regardless of the veracity of what you are about to say, do you really need to say it? Here is where a lot of retort will fail to report. Most of the nasty things repeated would have no sting at all if they attempted to pass through gate two. Only people of character will have a gate number two. People who care about others, who understand the weight of words and who seek love are those who have a second golden gate. The power of this golden gate comes from the golden rule. If we disregard someone else’s peace, privacy or dignity who will guard our own? The third golden gate is, “Is It Kind.” This is the gate that causes a person to honestly look at their own motives for saying something. True things can be spoken to hurt. Un-needful things are spoken daily by the careless and indifferent. Words spoken without love are the worst of the bunch because they have a lingering and damaging effect whose poison goes on and on. They are the great enemy of mankind. The are the precursors to every evil result from hatred to murder. Most words that have made it through the first two gates will fail at gate number three. These gates are useful in almost every personal relationship you will ever have. They can help marriages, families, and any interaction with anyone on any level. They require a conscious effort to use and in time you will become more skillful at using them but in every case you will become a better person for trying.

         
    Penpal e pal information

     

    : PenPal / E-pal Information Most of us are familiar with penpals and the age old tradition of posting letters overseas or to another part of the country and building a friendship, learning about new cultures, a new language or an understanding. My initial exposure to penpals was at an age of around 10 when our school class would write to a class of similar age in Sweden. It was so exciting to get mail with "funny looking" postage stamps and to learn of a life vastly different to our own. (I couldn't believe my penpal could see reindeer not far from her home! Maybe they were Santa's!) Today there is no need to wait weeks for a response, "snail mail" is now faster than ever, but there is also efficient electronic means such as emails and instant messenger. So staying in touch is easier and more exciting than ever. Being an E-pal (email pal) is more exciting and easier than ever, you also have the ability to send digital photos and short movies with ease to those with the technology. The reasons for being a penpal remain unchanged. For children it is an excellent and exciting way to learn of a different life, culture and lifestyle to their own. For those learning a new language communicating with someone who speaks that language natively can quickly advance their skills. For a lot of people it is about forming long term relationships and like all human relationships share understanding, friendship and sometimes these relationships can even lead to finding that special life partner. For others it is with interest and intrigue that they learn of a different life style, such as those writing to prisoners, penpals who would not otherwise come into contact with those incarcerated. Relationships play an immensely important role in our life and having a penpal can be one of the most rewarding things we can do. Today there are so many options available to us that staying in touch is easier than ever before. Online penpals / E-pals can be found on the internet and good sites allow you to select or filter potential online buddies and search by criteria such as countries, age, sex, religion, languages spoken etc. my-epal

         
    Perfect husband for a russian girl

     

    : Lucky for me, when these questions began swarming in my head, a good girlfriend of mine, who has lived in Italy for a number of years, was in town to visit her family. So, instead of digging through piles of statistics and wracking my brain to get the information so interesting for me, I contacted her and loaded her brain with all the questions. Before I move on, let me make myself clear: by no means does this article include motives and wants of every Russian bride, who submits her profile to a marriage agency. And I will be the first to encourage the foreigners: try be be as cautious as possible if you decided to apply to a marriage agency. In the past, some Russian ladies from the FSU countries have provided more than enough negative publicity (read my article on scams in Lugansk city, Ukraine), but don't let that discourage you and miss out on a chance to gift someone the pleasure of communication and a possibility to find love. With that in mind, I proceed… When I began questioning the motives of Russian women who take a chance on marriage agencies, my first discovery was quite disturbing. One of the main explanations for the FSU women to like foreigners is that men from their native countries... aren't good enough. There are a lot of bad stories about the life of Russian girls in foreign countries. Why not admit that the reason is in those men at home, who, in my opinion, don't know what a family is?" - said Natasha commenting on the article in one of the leading Russian papers, which blamed marriages to the foreigners. "Unfortunately, there are a lot of things the 'Russian' men would have to do to keep up with the foreigners." Some bridal agencies will give you the same information. An American journalist, who took a "Romance tour to find a Russian bride" trip to Ukraine as a part of his investigation for a story, says in his on-line journal that the instructor on the tour explained to him: Ukrainian and Russian men "drink, philander, alternately beat and neglect women." Obviously, not every FSU man treats women this way. Nevertheless, a general conception that most Russian brides/Ukrainian women share of the men in their home countries comes down to a few common words: irresponsible, hard-hearted, too demanding and not willing to provide for their children, let alone their mother. Throughout history Russian women have been famous for the way they treated their family. They are loving, devoted and caring, and, coming to a marriage agency they dream to find someone like themselves to create a strong happy family. The other thing noticed by Natasha during her three-year-long marriage to a foreigner: To tell you the truth, marrying him I didn't think about living in Italy... But for Italians the family is very-very important and they put a great emphasis on the family values. That meant a lot to me. Foreigners in general seem to be more serious about family and children, unlike the men at home." In line with a lack of quality of the FSU men, there is also a lack of quantity. The year 2002 gave us a discouraging statistics showing the ratio men-women 46, nothing has much changed since then. Given that a large part of these 46% are people who can't be counted on for love, care and support, it leaves the ladies of Russia and Ukraine very little to chose from. Obviously, when something you need is not in sight, you look to broader horizons. "All the good ones have been snatched away long ago, your chances to find someone in this country after you turn 25 are next to nil," Natasha mused over a cup of coffee (she married her Italian sweetheart at the age of 29). "It seems the guys (in Ukraine) disappear when they turn 30." On the top of all said, the appreciation of their own femininity sets the FSU women apart from American or European ladies. A lot of men can see that the FSU women are different. And this is not only about their outer beauty that is so well-known. These ladies like to look pretty, it is not unusual for them to wear a dress and pumps on a regular basis, they care about their body and like to be attractive. Bottom line, they want to be feminine, not feminist. The FSU women cherish being a "weak gender", which for them means taking care of their family in the first place, as well as being cared for and appreciated. Promises of that seem to be given in abundance by Americans and Europeans, many of whom share an opinion that it has been too long since Western women have shown any aspiration to cherish the softer side of the "weaker gender". The men abroad consider the tender feminine side of Russian women a great advantage comparing to Western women mad about careers and getting equal with men. Even some FSU men notice that the foreigners are attracted by "their" women because they "remain women, not some emancipated feminists, like in the West". Natasha dreamily remembers her very first visitings Italy: "When I was in Italy I was treated like a princess surrounded with attention, that I missed so much from our men. I think there is so much beauty (in Russia), that our men are simply used to it, it is mundane to them, they forget about simple compliments… Italians value beauty." After all this, what can I say to the men in search of their destiny? It all comes down to what you are looking for. No doubt, there will be some money-hungry vamps, eager to trap you. If you want to find a woman for one night it is not a problem neither in Ukraine or Russia nor anywhere else in the world. But if you are looking for a woman who will respect you, relish her family and be as smart as she is pretty, the chances of you finding that in Ukraine or Russia are greater than at any other place.

         
    Pheromones to attract man

     

    Male Female Attraction through Pheromones The only way the lower living beings like ants, butterflies, birds, dogs or even a tiger can communicate is through pheromones. The pheromones are the way they communicate as they cannot communicate through oral or written word. The communication starts when the particular species it at its very best to procreate and ends when the species is not in a position to attract the opposite sex. Apart from the natural desire to find a mating partner, the pheromones also serve the purpose of communicating fight or flight signal. Human Pheromones The existence of human pheromones was found in 1986 and then onwards it has become an industry in itself. The manufacture of pheromones has become a multi million dollar business. The research and development in pheromones is also a booming business in USA. Selective Pheromones Males are attracted to female pheromones. While male pheromones have been given the name of androstenone, no such name could be found to the female pheromones. It is referred by the same name and marketed through the brand names. In the world dominated by the males, where men are trying to woo females, it might be difficult to find a female trying to woo just any male. Women have to be specific and thus should be trying to woo a particular male by using a female pheromone. How Pheromones Are Used for Attracting Males In order to make a complete woman out of you and to competing with other women around your choice male, it might be necessary to get the attention of the male. The dressing is one way of doing it, but when you are in company of other females who are all similarly dressed, you might find that pheromones work on a subconscious level without your man knowing it. He is attracted to you by the action of pheromones and only to you. Make sure that your other actions do not impede the work of pheromones Since the pheromones work on a subconscious level without the male even knowing it, it is a greater attracting force than your actions. It is a magnet working for you and if you know your man better you will be able to add to that bond of attraction, you have everything working for you and no negative factors. Hence pheromones work for you. The Best way to Wear Pheromone Femininity is the best pheromone and added to it the pheromone that you wear on your body; you have everything working for you. The best way to use the pheromone is to apply it on your breast and then allow the pheromones to work for you. Physical intimacy is not necessary but you have to be within just 2 to 7 feet for pheromones to be effective. The remote control of pheromones will make the male be attracted to you without his knowing it and remain attracted to you as long as you want it. Wearing female pheromones is not an end all activity. Without the attendant personality and natural attraction it might not work well, but when you are competing with equals, wearing a pheromone will definitely give you the edge.

         
    Platonic friendships last relationships don t why

     

    Have you ever noticed that the second that you introduce sex into a relationship, it begins to slide into a bottomless pit and die? At least we wish that it would die. We should only be so lucky. Our society has created a group of high paid buzzards known as family law lawyers who circle waiting for the partners to part, at which time they move in for the kill, using a host of false promises and lies to suck the money and the spirit and the children and the lives out of the entire family. Gay men and women are fighting like cats and dogs for the right, the privilege to marry one another. There has to be some bar association behind this insanity. A Platonic friendship between a man and a woman, or a man and a man, or a woman and a woman, or a sheep and a goat, is where there is no sex involved. These types of relationships are named after a Greek Philosopher, Plato, (that was his wrestling nickname), who lived 2,500 years ago, 500 years before Jesus. Mary and Joseph had a platonic relationship, if you don’t count Jesus’ brothers. This sibling jealousy over Jesus having been born immaculately is the root of why the Jewish people do not believe in Jesus Christ, the God of 2 billion people today. It is well known that Plato, his teacher Socrates, and his student Aristotle, were old pedophiles who lived to have sex with beautiful young boys. What isn’t as well known is why sexless relationships are called Platonic. Their philosophy was that the longing and desire for the beauty of the boy was the root of the relationship and that their sexual desire for the boy is what set the relationship on fire. Socrates was executed for corrupting the youth of Athens, not by his sexual shenanigans, but for questioning everything and everyone, including the Goddess Athene, the protector of Athens. Blasphemy aside, it is a known fact that platonic friendships between men and women last, and sexual relationships between men and women do not. Why is that? Is it because I think therefore I am? Wouldn’t it make more sense to say “I think and this is evidence that I am?” Actually Socrates hated his wife. He had three children with her, and said that learning to live with her enabled him to be able to cope with any other human being no matter how malevolent. How did she feel being married to a man moonwalking backwards on the top of his car at his internationally televised trial for pedophilia and dangling his newborn son upside down off the top balcony of the Paris Hilton? People who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones, if they have any. Enough about Mick Jagger, who openly admits to sympathizing with the Devil. At the time when Plato was prancing around with young boys, sleeping in bed naked with them but not touching them, the Jewish and the non Jewish residents of the Holy Land were sacrificing their first born sons alive on fire altars south of Jerusalem to the God Baal. The Jewish Priests lured the people into the Holy Temple built by King Solomon with Temple Prostitutes. Jesus Christ’s best friend was a prostitute and her girlfriends were prostitutes. So lets recap: 2 billion people on Earth today believe that the Universe and its trillion stars, the other planes of existence, and everything on Earth was created by a Jewish Rabbi named Jesus Christ who was born to a Jewish couple having a platonic relationship, and that soon Jesus will return flying down from Heaven on a flying white horse to defeat the armies of Satan, a part goat, part lion, part snake on his flying horse accompanied by his army of flying jockeys, a dead on plagiarism of the Greek Myth of Prince Bellerophon, and his flying horse Pegasus defeating the Chimera. When the level of violence and gullibility on Earth has reached such epic proportions it is amazing that that any couple can stay together without killing each other for over 5 minutes, sex or no sex. The reason that sex kills a relationship is because it’s dirty. It’s expensive. We’re talking prenups. Ask Kanye, a modern philosopher who penned the tome Gold Digger. The 6 billion people on Earth today are cutting down every tree, our only source of Oxygen, to make Kleenex, because it’s cheaper than fine dining. This is the root of global warming. High priced lawyers. Did you know that Jesus never once mentioned the word Hell in his life? If you pick up a New Revised Standard Version of the Holy Bible, every time that Jesus says “Hell”, there is an asterisk beside the word “Hell”. If you look in the fine print, next to the vibrator battery section, the footnote says that in the original Greek versions of the Gospels, every time Jesus said Hell, he really said Gehenna, or Sheol, the place underground where both good and evil spirits lived after death. Did they mate there? How did they get along? So, the question is, why do your modern Bible Writers put their own word “Hell” into your Holy Bibles, and remove Jesus’ words Gehenna or Sheol, 1,435 times? Who cares about Plato? We’re all about to go up in nuclear flames while we heat up the sheets, whether it’s with our mates or our lovers or young boys, it’s all a diversion to make the lawyers rich. Once upon a time there was a man named Lot, after whom the Lotka was named. God spared him and his 2 daughters because Lot was the only righteous man in the two cities of Sodom and Gomorrah. Lot had two young virgin daughters. Since there were no longer any other people on Earth, in order to keep humanity going, they gave their dad some wine, and slept with him, and had children. He didn’t know that it was them, even though they were the only 3 people on Earth, he didn’t recognize his own daughters in his bed, because he had 2 glasses of wine. We are all their direct descendants. And you want to know why sex destroys relationships? It’s because we’re all insane. And the irony of all ironies is that our map to creating paradise on Earth forever is hidden right in our Holy Bibles underneath tons of rubble, said Jesus Christ, and God of Mount Sinai through every single Biblical Prophet. This is why they were stoned. For delivering God’s message. You still refuse to hear it. And soon you will all burn alive in the nuclear inferno you create, Slaves Of Satan. Rudolph is a hundred to one at Churchill Downs. Merry Christmas, and remember to think positively, as if that will help. “You’re far better off pleasuring yourself”, said Plato to Euripides, in the Dialogues. “Your relationships and your genitalia will last longer.” Euripides: “You can say that again.” Plato: “Once is enough. I redundate, therefore I am.” Continue to probe the great mysteries of life. It’s all just a dream. Sleep. Sleep.

         
    Power struggles being right or being loving

     

    Mandy and Evan consulted with me for couple’s counseling because they were always bickering. Every little thing seemed to become an issue between them. They loved each other very much, but the bickering was certainly getting in the way of enjoying each other. I ask Mandy and Evan to come up with some recent conflicts so I could experience what was happening between them. They had conflicts over time, money, child rearing, family, and chores. The dynamic between them was the same no matter what the issue: One of them would complain about something – like the house being messy or the other person not being on time, and the other would argue, explain and defend. Then they would go back and forth, each one defending and explaining their position. Neither one listened to the other or even seemed to care about the other’s feelings or position. They would each get locked into their positions, seeing themselves as right and trying to convince the other person to see it their way. They had what I call a “control-resist system.” In this system, one person approaches the other with an intention to win, to be right - to control. The other person, not wanting to be controlled, goes into resistance. One is trying to win and the other is trying not to lose. One is trying to be right and the other is trying not to be wrong. As long as their intentions were to control and not be controlled, they were stuck. They had no way of reaching resolution on any of their issues. While Mandy and Evan loved each other, caring was not a part of this system. As soon as an issue came up, they stopped caring about themselves and each other. They were so intent on winning or not losing that caring went out the window. “At any given moment,” I said to them, “you are either in the intent to control or the intent to learn. The problem is that both of you immediately choose the intent to control, which will always result in bickering. Mandy, I’d like you to try right now to listen to Evan’s concerns about the messiness of the house. See if you can find a place of caring about his feelings. See if you can really listen and see it through his eyes. Then I will have him do the same for you.” As Mandy really listened to Evan with caring and a desire to learn, she began to understand his frustration. For the first time, Evan felt really heard regarding this issue. Then Evan really listened to Mandy, trying to see things through her experience. They found that as they each began to understand the other’s feelings and experience, new ideas came up to resolve the problem. Being in the intent to learn is about learning rather than about solving problems. Resolution may be the outcome or it may not, but the new learning will inevitably lead to positive change. Often, people are reluctant to listen to each other for fear of losing themselves. They fear that if they listen to the other person, they will appear to be weak and will get taken advantage of. But the intent to learn is not just about listening to the other – it is also about listening to yourself and learning to stand in your own truth without having to impose it on another. If you are caring about both yourself and the other person, then you will not end up losing yourself in the conflict. The intent to learn is about being in compassion for both yourself and your partner. When caring and compassion are more important than winning and being right, you will find a way for both of you to win. Next time you are having a conflict, ask yourself, “Am I trying to control or am I willing to learn?” Even if your partner continues to try to control when you move into compassionate learning, you will discover new inner power, strength and wisdom that is far more satisfying than winning or losing. You will be able to move beyond the bickering as you learn to listen while standing solidly in your truth.

         
     
         
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