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    Free Essay
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    Why do women get attracted to married men

     

    The hooked and booked man is like a forbidden temptation. That's what makes him irresistibly attractive to a woman. He stirs a challenge in her. She feels a sense of power in attracting a man who is already taken. What makes him the catch for her is his confidence, experience and authority. The excitement stems from the fact that he's already taken. The golden rule here is: you want what you can't have. Soon, this man becomes an overwhelming obsession for a woman. I call it the 'forbidden fruit obsession'. According to me, there are two reasons for women falling for married men. Firstly, wild attraction. And secondly, vulnerability. For a woman, a married man represents a certain security she craves. A woman feels that a married man - compared to a bachelor - can meet her emotional and material needs in a better manner. Getting a married man signifies a triumph of one woman over another woman. He's a trophy catch. To have him, is about making the impossible. If a woman wanted a fling, she could have had it with anybody. But a married man at her beck and call makes her value herself more... that he's willing to throw it all over for her. It increases her self-esteem. Mind you, she's enjoying this fantasy, as much as his wooing, his experience and the way he makes her feel extra special. Sometimes, she likes the fact that he doesn't go weak in the knees in front of her. He's a symbol of authority. This relationship is about adventure and fun. But this is dangerous fun. There's a risk of running another person's life. Married men love playing games. They give out the vibe - 'I'm married but I'm game'. Married men are always on the lookout for fun. These are men on the prowl. For a woman, it might be difficult to resist the vibes of attraction from a married man. He makes himself so indispensable. A married man can give you a great time. There are times when this forbidden attraction transforms into love and romance, especially if the man doesn't have a happy marriage. Not all married men are jerks, some even leave their wives and get married to women they love. But the fact is, men and women love playing power games with each other. This is a dangerous game. It can take you through highs and lows, like you've never experienced. Human beings are fragile and one learns from trial and error. So it's you have to decide, whether it is a viable option to have a relationship with a married man.

         
    Why do women want to change their partner

     

    There are major, significant differences between men and women. Women and men are looking for different things in a relationship because they have different personalities. It is still a mystery for men what a woman really wants in a relationship, what she needs to be happy. Women have an idealistic view of the relationship and that is why they want the man to change. Changes occur every day but rarely do they affect anyone. Therefore, men refuse to do this, they usually have the concept that if their woman loves them, they have to accept them as they are. If not, they had better change their girlfriends. People in relationships often have strong expectations that their partner will be exactly what they want. You will see that if you meet a girl and you will have a long relationship with her, after a while she will try to change you. When you met her, she was perfect in every sense of the word. However, after a while, she will try to make you to be like the person from her fantasy. People which try to change other people in a relationship initially try to make the person out to be something they were not and try to mold them in the perfect mate. Nevertheless, a perfect mate does not exist. Trying to change a person is a sign of strong possession, to have someone so strongly that you can actually change his or her behavior. Change is not always a bad thing to try to induce, sometimes your partner can just lack certain social graces; but change should always be a two way street with a couple, otherwise you just controlling the other person. However, women always seem to want to change the man they are in love with. Even if they know that men do not change, yet women try anyway. That happens because most women enter into a relationship with unrealistic ideas. There are girls that have strange ideas about relationships, and they try to change the person they meet with a person they loved before, but this always fail. In addition, they do not understand why men like going out with their friends to pubs, even if it is a form of relaxation, especially in weekends, when they consider that weekend is for the family to spend time together. Many times happens that your girlfriend sees you staring at a beautiful woman whom is passing near you on the street and she gets angry and asks you to stop this and change yourself. However, this happens because women are very jealous and do not understand that men like to admire the opposite sex and not necessarily with intention to sleep with them. Women should learn to love their partner with all his faults, this will save them of a lot of heartache for the long-term of her relationship. This is the reason there are so many divorces. All women try to change their man, that is why rarely hear that a woman is complimenting her man to her friends. They compete to see who has the worst man. Maybe you have a relationship for a long time and she asks you to change a little bit. You changed yourself quite a lot, but she still finds out things that she does not like about you, and wants to be changed. It is never enough no? What is next? Usually men cannot change easily, but some of them change themselves only if they are motivated to do so. However, if your love and trust in your relationship were strong enough, she would not ask you to change yourself. It takes maturity to the woman to realize that she will never change the person who she want to be, so she should accept him or forget him. To have success with your relationship you must accept and respect the differences that are between you two. Both have issues, but if there is true love, you will try to complement each other. Because of the big differences between men and women, the most frequent complain men have about woman is that they always try to change them, and the one that women have about men is that men never listen. It is true that women value love, communication, beauty, and relationships while men are more interested in objects and things rather than people and feelings.

         
    Why does love drive people crazy

     

    If you talk to two persons - one who has never felt love, and other who is deeply in love, you will find them talking in a very different way. If you ask a person who has never loved about what he/she felt about the other's talk, the answer will be - crazy! Is it true? Does love drive one to madness? It may not be madness as understood by psychiatrists, but a madness of emotions. Is that right? Why does love do that? To understand this, we have to explore more about love or romance. Is it friendship? Is it physical attraction? is it just liking for each other? What is love and what is this relationship all about? Love combines all these and goes much beyond in bonding. Lovers are bonded to each other emotionally and totally. A lover cannot imagine of a life without his/her beloved. A lover will suffer like a fish suffers without water, if he/she is separated from the beloved. Love becomes the whole life. Love gives life. Love becomes the reason of life. Life begins and ends with love. That is love. And that's why people call love mad! How and why a lover feels like this for one's beloved is beyond any logical explanation. There is no arithmetic sum that can decide this. It is all emotional. And the emotions are so overwhelming that they engulf the whole personality. Why does a flower look lovely to all of us? Why are we attracted by the sight of a beautiful sunset? Why do we love to walk on the beach? Do we know? Can we answer these questions? Our only answer may be that - I feel happy doing it. A lover feels happy, rather so happy in love that it cannot be compared with any other happiness. One forgets one's pains, one's pleasures and one's existence when in love. Fall in love if you still haven't and feel the madness. You will get a clue to why true lovers are called mad.

         
    Why is it important for women to initiate romance

     

    Oftentimes we, as women, leave our needs unexpressed and wait for our husbands to just guess what to do. Many men honestly don’t know how to be romantic. And, when they do get up the courage to attempt romance, their efforts may not be expressed in a way that we appreciate or even recognize as romance. Look how silly this sounds. If your son was attempting algebra and didn’t understand it, you wouldn’t cry because he didn’t love you. As a mom, we’d sit down, and go over it again and again, for as long as it took until he understood. Yet, we expect our husbands to know something that they’ve never been taught. Instead of leaving your man to struggle, show him how to romance you. How will he know what to do if you don’t show him? So, how can you teach him how to romance you? 1. Be romantic yourself. If you show him that you value him and love him on a regular basis, instead of expecting him to be the romantic one, he’ll be more receptive to trying it himself. The old saying “You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar” definitely applies. Yelling and crying because he isn’t romantic isn’t exactly going to put him in the lovey mood. 2. Tell him what you like. Do you enjoy expensive gifts or would you rather have him make something for you? Would you like him to go on walks with you? Give you cut flowers or live plants? Make a list of every birthday, anniversary and holiday and include ideas for things he can buy or do for you. Set him up to succeed. 3. Learn what he likes. The same thing stands for him. Know what makes him happy. Please don’t buy him an expensive gift if he’s the frugal type. He won’t like it. Don’t take him to a fancy French restaurant if he’s a Burger kind of guy. It’s ok to take him there for your birthday, but don’t take him there for his birthday. If he loves sports, then go to them with him. Please initiate romance. So often, women just get more and more resentful that they aren’t feeling romanced and their man has no clue what to do to fix it. There really should be a required romance course before you can get your marriage license. At least that way, men would, at some point in time, learn how to be romantic. Until then, it’s our job to show him just what we want and need to feel special. Now go Romance Your Man!

         
    Why is love important

     

    So often we spend most of our time taking care of our physical needs. We make sure our bodies are fed, cleaned, clothed, exercised and rested. We also make sure intellectual stimulation and entertainment is a priority. Yet we also overlook the most important need -- love. Of course, as a society, love is not overlooked. Popular media constantly places great emphasis on what we need to do and how we should look to attract "love". But being loved is not as powerful an emotional need as that desire to love someone else. The need to love and care for others is built into us biologically. This need is what allows parents to forgo sleep, food, and sanity while raising their children. This need is what allows people to put themselves at risk to save others from natural disasters and human threats. This need is what makes human society work on both a small and a large scale. Loving others allows us to put the needs and desires of others before our own. We will work harder and longer, sometimes at jobs we loathe, to provide for those we love. We will tolerate otherwise intolerable conditions to provide care for our loved ones whether they are young or old. Love means to cherish, hold dear, and treasure. We do not hurt, harm, or cause pain to those we love; rather, we seek to relieve their suffering. It is not about wanting people; it's about wanting people to be happy. It's not about wanting to possess or control others; it's about wanting to set them free. John Oxenham described love this way: "Love ever gives. Forgives, outlives. And ever stands with open hands. And while it lives, it gives. For this are love's prerogatives - to give, and give, and give." Love is the grease that allows the wheel of life to continue turning. For when we love we look beyond ourselves, beyond our needs and desires. We sacrifice our time, our energy, our wishes, and sometimes even ourselves because of love. Sometimes it is for an immediate person or group that we know intimately and love completely, but other times it is for a larger group of people that we don't really know or perhaps even like. It is love that allows law enforcement and emergency services personnel to face danger. It is love that allows soldiers to risk everything. Love makes heroes every day in every corner of the world. As Thomas г Kempis said: "Love feels no burden, thinks nothing of trouble, attempts what is above its strength... It is therefore able to undertake all things, and it completes many things and warrants them to take effect, where he who does not love would faint and lie down." The ultimate definition of love is not about feeling good but rather about doing good. A perfect example of love in action is Mother Teresa who worked so long and so hard on the behalf of others. However we see it all around us if we look for it. Robert Louis Stevenson said: "The essence of love is kindness." Love is important because without it, life has no meaning or purpose. As Frank Tebbets says "A life without love in it is like a heap of ashes upon a deserted hearth, with the fire dead, the laughter stilled and the light extinguished." Love allows us to be more and do more than we could ever accomplish without its power.

         
    Why lovers hurt their beloved most

     

    A lover, who claims to love, can never hurt his/her beloved. Love demands that you care utmost for your beloved. You are concerned about their feelings. You make them as comfortable as possible. You keep them as happy as possible. You help them fulfill their dreams. You encourage them during tough times and you are always there for them. If you don't do this, there will be nothing called as love. The definition of love includes the qualities I mentioned. This does happen. In many relationships it happens all through the life. Such couples need not worry to know about heaven. Their home is heaven. But in some relationships, if a lover wishes to break away for any reason including feelings of being treated unjust, the results will be harrowing. Let us look at what will happen. As the lover who wishes to break away remembers all the investments she/he did for the love, she will feel that all has gone waste. All my sacrifices are in vain. I did so much for many years, and now what is the result? This frustration and anger is directed towards the partner. At that time the lover who is breaking away forgets that worse will happen to one she /he will be leaving. Only selfish thoughts occupy the mind. This is the tragedy of such love. The one who is left behind might have made more sacrifices and given a lot more for love. He/she gets bewildered at why this break up is happening? It is like a sudden earthquake. That is why I asked, that if you love someone why hurt?

         
    Why not send flowers online

     

    Life is hectic for most of us, but no one wants to miss those special occasions, so why not send flowers online? It's as easy as pushing a few buttons and far more convenient than taking the extra time to run to the flower shop on your lunch hour. Sending online flowers in Chicago way is a breeze. The city has a wide network of cooperating florists who'll have your bouquet in the hands of that special someone within 24 hours in most cases. If you live in DeKalb send flowers just as easily with a bevy of florists just waiting to fill your order with the freshest blooms available. Many local florists do not charge extra to deliver flowers in Chicago. When you send flowers online, you have the added bonus of choosing from a selection of standard arrangements in beautiful color photos that let you see exactly what you'll be sending. No more standing at the floral counter trying to describe what you want and hoping the resulting arrangement is what you had in mind. When you send flowers online, you take the guess work out and get just the arrangement you want. Many florists make it even easier to send flowers online by having their designs arranged by the occasion. Think of the convenience of clicking a link and seeing an array of lovely New Baby bouquets, ready to send directly to the new mom's hospital room. Never suffer the guilt of forgetting Valentine's Day or an anniversary again. Even last minute orders can usually be taken care of if you put your order in an hour or so before closing time. Perhaps it's more convenient to search for your floral arrangement by sentiment? Many online florists have categories for Get Well, Thank You, and I'm Sorry. Sounds pretty easy, doesn't it? Or you can send the perfect bereavement arrangement by looking in the Sympathy category. Need to send a little something to spark your special someone's anticipation of tonight's dinner date? Check out the Romance section. Whatever sentiment you wish to express, you can conveniently send flowers online in a matter of minutes. When you decide to send flowers online, you take the hassle out of showing friends and family how much you care. For your convenience, many online florists will allow you to create an account with special dates and occasion to be remembered. You can either pick your choices ahead of time and have them sent out automatically and billed to your account, or you can choose to receive an e-mail reminder to send flowers online. Never get the cold shoulder for forgetting an important event again. When you look at the overall convenience, there's no reason not to send flowers online.

         
    Wie man bei einer hochzeitsvorbereitung am besten geld sparen kann

     

    Als aller erstes sollte jedem Paar bewusst sein, dass man (normaler Weise) nur einmal im Leben heiratete, Der Hochzeitstag soll etwas besonderes sein, ein unvergesslicher Tag. Also Motto der Sparaktionen ist: Nicht an der falschen Stellen sparen, sonder richtig Sparen! Man will ja nichts bereuen! Und hier die Tipps, wie man am besten an seiner Hochzeitsvorbereitung Geld sparen kann! Wer braucht ein Wedding Planer? Wer bei der Hochzeitsorganisationen und Vorbereitungen Geld sparen will, sollte sicherlich zu aller erst auf ein Wedding Planer verzichten und seine Hochzeit in seine eigene Hдnde nehmen! Wedding Planer sind zu meist sehr teuer und sind nicht immer die idealste Lцsung fьr die Traumhochzeit. Wann soll die Zeremonie stattfinden? Es gibt auch in Hochzeiten bestimmte Hochsaisons, wo heiraten einfach teurer ist. Wer Geld sparen will, sollte diese Saison vermeiden. Generell Hochzeit Zeremonie und Empfang am Morgen, am Freitag oder Sonntagnacht sind billiger. Auch sind die Wintermonate preferable. Gдste Liste noch mal durchgehen Die Gдste Liste ist lang und kцnnte sicherlich noch lдnger sein, aber will oder muss man wirklich all diese Menschern einladen? Viele Menschen werden es verstehen, wenn man ihnen sagt, dass man unter Familie oder engeren kreisen feiert! Hochzeitskleid mal anders Hochzeitkleider sind meistens teuer, ob zu mieten oder zu kaufen. Es ist meistens sehr schwer, ein billiges Hochzeitkleid in Kleider Geschдfte ausfindig zu machen. Es gibt jedoch mehrere Alternativen. Second Hand Kleider oder Ebay Kleider sind nicht immer zu missachten. Wer aber jedoch auf ein neues Kleid nicht verzichten will, sollte sich ein Billigflug nach der Tьrkei leisten und 3 Tage Ferien genieЯen. In der Tьrkei kann man sich fьr nur wenig Geld wunderschцne Kleider annдhen lassen, persцnlich und Kцrper detailliert und das fьr Spott Preisen! Alkohol selber organisieren Aufs Essen sollte niemals gespart werden. Natьrlich erwartet kein Gast Kaviar mit Hummer aber an sollte es sich auf einer Hochzeit gut gehen lassen und dazu gehцrt nun mal auch das Essen. Aber wer ein Catering bestellt sollte zweimal ьberlegen, ob man den angebotenen Alkohol annehmen soll. Meistens kommt es billiger, den Alkohol selber zu organisieren. Ist zwar aufwendiger aber sicherlich billiger. Dekoration aber dezent Natьrlich will man es hьbsch auf seiner Hochzeit haben, doch leider beachten nur die wenigsten ihren Blick auf die teure Dekoration. Ob Seide Blume oder Echte, ob Duftkerze oder einfach, Dekoration sollte man aufs Minimum halten. Hier kommt der Dj Fьr viele ist dies ein Tabu, aber die Zeiten haben sich nun mal geдndert. Eine Band ist sehr teuer und nicht immer fьr junge Paare geeignet. Was eine Band singen und spielen kann, kann der Dj schon lange. Der Dj ist vielleicht nicht als klassisch anerkannt, aber kann unglaubliche gute Stimmungen auf einer Hochzeit machen. Er kann von dem klassischen Walzer bis zur Top 1 Mtv Dance Song auflegen! Selbstgemacht Viele Gadgets um die Hochzeit kann man selber machen. Einladungen, Menьkarten, Tischkдrtchen und die Danksagungen selbst basteln ist billiger, macht SpaЯ und ist sehr persцnlich!

         
    Will you survive a relationship breakdown

     

    Relationships connect us in this world with each other. We have many kinds of relationships-parental, sibling, friends, professional and love. We go through many phases in all these relationships. Ups and downs are part of our life and our relationships. Most of us can bear break down in most of the above relationships except those of love. Why? Who will survive a breakdown in romantic relationship and who will get shattered? Let us discuss. The higher the attraction, the higher will be the shock. The closer you are, the break up will give you more shock. It is very simple equation. But let us remember that life is not made of equations and emotions do not behave mathematically. So it all boils down to personality. There are some who expect the relationship to break sooner or later. They are pessimists and call themselves practical. These people are never surprised if the relationship breaks. They may wonder about the reasons but will not suffer trauma. On the other extreme, we have some people who believe that they are made for each other and that the relationship, the loyalty and the faithfulness will last for the life and if possible beyond. This is the vulnerable class. If by bad fate, they are ditched by the partner, they will suffer very bad trauma. They will never believe that this could ever happen and all their life they will spend wondering how it happened. Their faith in their partner is absolute. They trust their partners most and for them the shock of the broken trust is unbearable. They need psychiatric help. Hopefully with professional help they may recover. But at times the trauma is uncontrollable. They lose their faith in life and everyone else. The betrayal kills their inner core and the will to carry on. If you are one such type, please go into any relationship with the awareness that your partner may not be as honest as he/she looks. Relationship is a beautiful feeling and a wonderful experience. One tends the relationship as one cares for a tender plant. One gives ones whole being to the relationship. The breakdown therefore becomes unbearable. Sometime I feel that the world is for people who are practical and never allow their heart to rule over their mind.

         
    Women get more love by giving less

     

    Any woman can attract a better quality man or inspire the man she has to give her more love, affection and romance, by learning the truth about Overnurturing. What is Overnurturing? It's doing too much in a relationship. Giving too much. It's the reverse of how a relationship works best for a woman. Giving is what men are supposed to do. Women are supposed to receive the love, affection and gifts that men give, and then give love and affection back to them. Though many of us have caught onto this, it’s challenging to stop doing what we’ve always done, what we’ve been told is the way to do things, and to fly in the face of the fallout we fear. So I’m going to tackle one little issue – Nurturing. Nurturing is masculine. If you want to get what he wants to give, stop nurturing your man. Radical as this sounds, try it. Stop doing. Stop giving. Stop massaging your husband’s feelings. Stop helping your date do the relationship thing and let him flounder until he figures it out. He will. This whole concept of nurturing is a dilemma for most of us. We think of mothering, nurturing, caring for our young as a feminine aspect of ourselves. It isn’t. Nurturing and caring for others may be a female trait – Motherhood is female – but it’s still about action! Nurturing is about doing. Giving. Your energy goes out of you and toward or into someone else. When you give, you are acting from a masculine energy place. We are so accustomed to the idea of nurturing being feminine, we get confused. We think being loving to our men is nurturing them. Massaging their bodies, minds and spirits. There is nothing wrong with the idea of nurturing – it’s the form our nurturing takes that causes so much difficulty. We are all composed of masculine and feminine (yin and yang) energies. We move through them fluidly at our best, and are stuck in one or the other at our worst. But most of us are stuck at one extreme or the other. We either give too much all the time and then find ourselves resentful all the time, or we go the other way and make ourselves emotionally unavailable to our dates, our husbands, our boyfriends, and every man we meet. Too often, our nurturing energies are perceived by men as mothering. Our actions seem intrusive. We seem to be judging them and finding them coming up short – otherwise why would they need taking care of? On the other hand, they love attention. Don’t we all? To strike some sort of balance when we are all so mightily out of balance, I’m asking you to pull back to zero. To at least imagine pulling back to zero. The baby steps you actually take may seem huge. When you stop doing for your man what he doesn’t need you to do, yet has grown accustomed to your doing, may resent your not doing, and will certainly find himself relieved that you’ve stopped doing, things may get messy before they get better. But they will get better. This is all about Overfunctioning. What does Overfunctioning and Overnurturing look like? You come to the door the moment he gets home and ask him how his day went. You offer to massage his neck, his feet, his back because he looks so tired (even though you’re just as tired.) Or you give your date directions to your house before he asks. And you invite him in and offer him something to eat or drink without even knowing what he has in mind for the evening. You offer to cook him a meal when he’s barely taken you out to a decent restaurant. You offer sex to your husband, without being asked, and even if you’re not in the mood, because you figure you should. You ask him how he feels, and demonstrate concern for his feelings and moods. This sounds nurturing, but it’s not. It’s mothering. Nurturing a grown-up is giving him what he wants, not what you think he needs. Nurturing a grown-up is not tolerating what you don’t want. Not tolerating him treating himself badly or carelessly if it’s damaging to you or his relationship with you – this means smoking, eating badly, not working, never leaving the house. And you do it not by telling him what he needs to do and helping him do it, but by telling him how angry it makes you feel when it’s happening. Or telling him how good it feels when he does something that makes you happy. Let him figure out how to take responsibility for making you and the relationship happy – on his end of it. This is feminine energy – the expression of honest-to-goodness feelings. All the caretaking and fixing and doing and massaging and concern is masculine energy in action, and it will get you nowhere near what you want. Try it the feminine way. Stop nurturing a grown-up man, and start expressing your feelings moment by moment. The first time is scary – but then, you’ll see – you’ll wonder how you ever loved any other way.

         
    Working with difficult people 3 questions to help you turn your tormentors into teachers

     

    : When faced with the prospect of meeting with a confrontational employee, the project manager of a New Hampshire insurance company heaved a sigh. Not again, he thought to himself. Every conversation with this guy is a struggle. He decided to use the meeting as an opportunity to shift perspective and try a new approach. He began by imagining that the employee had good intentions but was a bit rough around the edges. He considered that maybe if he aligned with the employee, he might be better able to direct him. First, he arranged the office chairs so that instead of face to face, they were at oblique angles and generally facing the same direction. Then he took a few deep breaths and opened the door. The employee began by stating with intensity all that was going wrong with the project. The manager’s initial reaction was to resist the attack, but he refocused his attention on listening and understanding and sat quietly for a while. Instead of coming back with answers or a rebuttal, he found himself asking the employee what he thought the real nature of the problem was and what actions he would suggest to solve it. The confrontational atmosphere diffused and gave way to a sense of collaboration. The two were aligned physically in their chairs and now conceptually in the way they approached the problem. The change the manager made in himself turned out to be very effective, and both manager and employee began to work on solving the issues facing the project. From Tormentor to Teacher It’s hard to like everyone. Some colleagues are great partners; we know their style and blend easily with them. We "dance well together." With others we always seem to be out of step. We wonder, How can they be that way? or What makes them tick? Or worse – we don’t care; we just want to be as far away as possible. The problem is we still have to work with these people, and our reactivity in their presence gives them a kind of power over us. However, by seeking to understand the opponent, we take the initiative. At worst, we learn something. At best, we may turn them into an ally and improve the quality of the work environment. But how do you turn a tormentor into a teacher? Begin by asking yourself some questions about who they are and why they behave the way they do. •Who is this person away from the workplace? See the different parts of this person – the parent, grandparent, friend, dancer, skier, singer, or loved one (of someone!). Chances are you’re only seeing the annoying part of your tormentor. Widen your perspective. •What is their positive intention? Underneath the disrespectful behavior, what do they really want? Respect? Independence?

    Control? Acknowledgement? Attention?

    You may realize that you have similar goals, though you seek them differently. •Why do you think they behave as they do? It’s useful to adopt the attitude that their actions have little (if anything) to do with you. Most people operate out of habit. Even if they don’t get the respect or attention they desire, they can’t change because they don’t know any other way. Maybe it falls to you to help them find it. Suggest ways they might achieve their aims more effectively.

    Be their teacher. True Power As you read this article, think of someone with whom your "dance" feels like a struggle. Then, instead of wishing they would change, start with yourself. It doesn't mean you're wrong, at fault, or need to change your opinion. It means that in order to resolve the conflict it works better to begin with what you can control – you. Remember that you’re doing this for you. You're stuck and you want to get unstuck. Like your tormentor, you've been taking actions that aren’t working, so try something new. When your well-being depends upon the actions of others, you inadvertently give them power. But with awareness and practice, you can make new choices about how you respond to the difficult people and situations in your life – and take the power back. Our project manager and his employee will have more opportunities to dance with conflict as their relationship changes and grows. Thanks to the manager’s willingness to try something new, they’ve discovered common ground from which to begin the process. We all have challenging people in our lives. Will they be tormentors or teachers? Our perspective greatly influences our response.

         
    Yes you can have a romantic valentine s day on a budget

     

    While we would all like to whisk our partner away to celebrate St Valentine's Day at an exotic five star resort, I know I can't afford it, just yet! Here are some ideas for Valentine's Day luxuries on a budget that will amaze your partner. And if you do it just right, with a little creativity, you can have the ultra-romantic day that will convince your loved one of how much you love him or her. Again. Getting out into the open air, just the two of you, is a great way to spend Valentines. Head for the hills or the state park. There are walks to suit all - whether its an easy walk or a more demanding hike. Remember, it's February, so its likely that the place will be deserted and you will have all that natural beauty to yourself. And outdoor privacy is so romantic! Take along a special picnic when you go out. In a small picnic basket collect a tablecloth, a vase with a realistic rose in it, 2 taper candles with holders (don’t forget a lighter) and a lovely meal for two. When you reach the picnic area you can surprise your partner by setting the table for a romantic meal. Sit down and enjoy! You could take the picnic with you on a romantic drive, or for a day out kite flying or bicycling. Remember that it’s being together that is important. The outdoors idea even works for couples that have children. There's always plenty for the kids to do if there is a safe and empty playground close by. What better way to celebrate your love than by keeping one eye on the children and reminding yourself why you love them, and their other parent, so much. Don't fancy the great, romantic, outdoors? Cooking your romantic Valentine’s meal together is a great way to share the day. Male sure that your dinner choice is something you will both enjoy, even better if its a special treat you don't often have. Go over the top in decorating the dining room and go to town on the place settings. Make sure you both dress up in your best clothes, as if it was your first date, with your best jewelry and scent. The main thing to remember is that if you are together you will have as romantic a time as you would have at a posh resort or an exclusive restaurant. It’s the thought that counts, not how much money you spend.

         
    You can be romantic

     

    Why is it that so many people believe that they don’t have time or take the initiative to be romantic? Maybe most people don’t believe that they are creative enough to be romantic. Everyone is creative! The definition of being creative is having the ability or power to create. The word create offers a much broader definition than most people accept when it comes to the process of being able to come up with something original or simply well thought out. Gifts that are considered to be traditionally romantic like candy and flowers are wonderful, but sometimes you need something that goes one step further. If your spouse enjoys flowers, you don’t have to settle for roses because they can sometimes become unexciting after a while! Present him or her with something completely original such as a daisy or another flower where petals can be counted. Ask him or her to play the childhood game of ‘they love me, they love me not’ and watch them pluck the petals as they go. However, don’t allow for the possibility of him or her arriving at the ‘they love me not’. Count the petals before you present the flower to your spouse and trim it so that there is an odd number of petals for the right outcome! Arts and crafts used to be a fun break from the monotony of the school day, but believe it or not, it will come in handy when it comes to creative romantic gestures. Instead of promising that you will love him or her forever, show them. Take a piece of paper, ribbon or other material you choose and write “I love you” on both sides from end to end. Twist the paper 180 degrees and connect both ends of the paper until you have mad what looks like the figure eight. Tape or glue to ends together. You can present your love with a symbol that shows them your love for them is an endless love. Creativity comes in many different forms! Being creative can mean creating an atmosphere. If you want to plan the ultimate romantic evening but funds are low or you simply don’t want to have to leave the house, shut down the electricity and imitate a power outage (it’s up to you whether or not you tell him or her!). You won’t have any distractions or heat, so it is up to both of you to keep the other warm and entertain each other. Maybe romance is on your mind, but he or she is going out of town. Did you know that people on airplanes are typically hopeless romantics? Any flight attendant would be more than happy to make sure that your spouse receives a special present after the flight has left the ground. Simply approach a crewmember after he or she boards the plane and they are usually more than happy to oblige a hopeless romantic like you! (You might want to make sure that the gift is unwrapped or keep it to a single rose due to heightened security.) Creativity doesn’t have to come in the form of gifts every single time. Gestures like getting up and dancing with your spouse when a special song comes on the radio is quite creative and incredibly romantic! Whenever the mood strikes you, allow your creative juices to flow!

         
    You can improve your relationship

     

    It seems as if creating successful relationships with our significant others and parenting children are two of the most difficult jobs we face and yet we get no formal training in either. It’s as if people believe that we are born with an inherent ability to do these two things. Yet, look around us. In the US, the divorce rate is slightly over 50%! I don’t know anywhere but baseball where a 50% average is a good thing. Couples go through life getting along when times are good; and fighting with, ignoring, or leaving each other when things get tough. Most people believe that to seek help with their relationships means to admit a certain kind of defeat that says something about who they are as a person. Or possibly, they believe that relationships are something we are just supposed to be able to manage on our own. Or, finally, some people believe that those out there helping couples can’t know any more than they do. After all, what’s to know about keeping relationships together? Well, the truth is that there is a whole lot to learn when it comes to relationships. Unfortunately, the only training most of us ever receive is the passive learning we get through the modeling of the adults who live in our house with us and the media. Now, I don’t know about you, but my parents had only received the informal training they got from their parents, and they from my great grandparents and so on back through the generations. There is so much more to know about relationships than that! Also, my parents have helped support that 50% statistic cited earlier in that they divorced sometime around their 25th wedding anniversary. What I learned about relationships from watching them is that couples never argue, especially in front of the children. On the surface, my parents had a very happy marriage but my father experienced a stereotypical mid-life crisis and suddenly questioned the meaning of “life” and decided marriage was holding him back somehow. In some ways, this type of training may have been as bad as those who have parents who argue all the time. Disagreements are a natural by-product of relationships. It is virtually impossible for two people to come together and create a life without some of their ideals, values, opinions or day-to-day activities coming into conflict with each other. The question becomes how the couple manages this conflict. There are many things to consider when speaking about couples and their challenges and areas for growth and development. The first is compatibility. I know there is an expression that says opposites attract and I believe there is some accuracy in that statement when you think of attraction as that chemical interaction that occurs when two people meet and are attracted. This chemical attraction doesn’t care what the other person’s values are, what is important to him or her, the personality characteristics involved, or what either of you likes to do in your spare timepatibility is a key for a successful, healthy relationship. Go to therelationshipcenter. biz and take the free Assessment to determine your compatibility with your partner. A second consideration is simply that there are major differences in how men are in relationships compared to how women are. Women generally don’t understand men because the men don’t act like women and similarly, men don’t understand women because they don’t act like men. And since a woman has never been a man and a man has never been a woman, how does each learn about these important differences? John Gray researched and wrote about these issues in his book, Men are from Mars; Women are from Venus. But I would say that the majority of people in relationships don’t take the time to learn about these gender differences. It is easier to point a finger and blame the other person for his or her “irrational” behavior. As mentioned earlier, a third area of growth is learning how to manage conflict. There are time proven methods for resolving conflict that we don’t learn in school or from a book. There are ways to actually hear each other in relationships. By placing the relationship FIRST in importance, these methods can be implemented by couples to greatly improve their satisfaction. There is so much to learn about satisfying relationships that your parents never showed you. Please don’t become one of the statistics of divorce or perhaps worse, stay in a miserable relationship to honor your marriage vows while having so many regrets about your life as the time ticks away. Take charge and take control of your life. Learn some new ways to improve the relationship you are already in or to prepare yourself for being a better, improved partner for the next person in your life. Contact Kim at 708-957-6047 or email at [email protected] biz about relationship coaching or take one the many Teleclasses scheduled on the Events Calendar at TheRelationshipCenter. biz. Don’t wait until it is too late.

         
    You can improve your relatonships

     

    Is there magic to what makes some relationships last longer than others? Maybe. Do some people just sit back and sulk, while others seem to let life go by right over their heads and problems? It sure seems so. Or maybe it’s just that some people learn secrets of success from their grandparents or other relatives or friends. And since the latter is probably more accurate, here are some tried and true tips from people who have enjoyed long, happy relationships. 1. REFRESH – Take time to look back, refresh your memories and share what brought you together. Especially when times are difficult, lean back and rely on these old memories as your foundation and glue yourselves back together with them (not literally, of course!) 2. DATES – Keep dating each other. Even if life seems too busy, meet at the end of the evening for something light and easy, like viewing your favorite sitcom (record it if necessary) together or playing a game of Euchre. 3. FUN – Couple tend to have fun on dates, then get married and too serious. Lighten up. Head to Yahoo Games (off Yahoo main site) and join in any number of card or other games. Or head to a local rental shop and rent an Xbox or other game player and some games. 4. FORGET – No need to “always” remember the bad things that happened during an argument. Actively “forget” sometimes. Be the first to apologize and make up. Go for it! 5. SPACE – Give each other some space. Either you trust or you don’t. Get on with life, though. People need time alone and time with their mates and other friends. Be sure to give and take your fair share of space. 6. DISAGREE – Agree that it’s okay to disagree on some issues, and leave it at that. No need to create a new religion or political movement just to appease both of you. You don’t HAVE to agree on everything. And you won’t. And that’s okay. 7. MEMORIES – Make some together. Enjoy special moments, special anniversary dates and events. No need to be elaborate. For example, maybe you enjoyed watching a hot air balloon race one spring day. The next year, you might schedule time to watch it again. Make it an annual event. Collect postcards with balloons on the, playing cards, toss pillows…over time it becomes a theme. So don’t just sit back and sulk. Take short steps to improve your relationships and let life’s problems magically pass by while you hold on to your relationship. Improving relationships require knowing what to do and how to do it. If you follow some tried and true tips, it is possible you can also improve your relationships.

         
     
         
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