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    Father the embodiment

     

    : “Father! - to God himself we cannot give a holier name.” ~William Wordsworth It was a sultry morning in my school days when I had a brilliant realization in my life - the one that I would like to share with you all. One day, on my way back home from school, our school bus was struck in a traffic jam. In a bid to complete my incomplete snooze of the night, I was about to nod off, when the beggar on the opposite side of the road, caught my sight. He had found a loaf of bread from somewhere, and was busy shredding it into pieces. A closer look revealed that he was actually attempting an equal distribution between his son, daughter and wife. Not only did my feeling of dozing disappeared but also a lifelong realization popped up in my mind: Why we address both God and Dad as “Father”. Call him Dad, Pops, Papa or whatever it is – he has been the pillar of your life since you took birth. FATHER’S DAY HISTORY: Sonora Dodd, of Washington, first fostered the idea of a "father's day” while listening to a Mother's Day sermon in 1909. Sonora wanted a special day to honor her father, William Smart. Smart, who was a widowed Civil War veteran. With much difficulty he raised his children single handedly and bestowed love and affection to make them blossom in life. After Sonora became an adult she realized the selflessness her father had shown in raising his children. In the eyes of his daughter, Mr. Smart was a courageous, selfless, and loving man. Sonora's father was born in June, so she chose to hold the first Father's Day celebration in Washington on the 19th of June 1910. President Calvin Coolidge, in 1924 first supported the idea of a national Father's Day. It was followed by a presidential proclamation in 1966 by President Lyndon Johnson, who signed a declaration making the 3rd Sunday of June as Father's Day. President Richard Nixon signed the law, which finally made it permanent in 1972. Thus started the celebration! MAKE THE DAY SPECIAL: Make sure this 18th June is not just another worn-out celebration, but a make it special-give it a true meaning-a reason for your dad to have a smile! Try These Ideas Out: · If you are away from him for the moment, give him a surprise visit in the very morning. Wake him up with a big hug and fill his day with all the fun and frolic. It’s surely going to be the greatest gift. · If your dad is away from the family at the moment, ring him up in the morning and wish him. Have a long chat and ensure your message of love and care adorns him. In that case don’t forget to celebrate with him when he is back. · Pamper him with whatever culinary ceremonies he enjoys most, whether it's breakfast in bed, delicious Chinese cuisine for lunch, evenings snacks at Pizza hut or all of the above. · You can give him something you know he'd love but will probably not buy for himself: perhaps Jagjit Singh’s collection on CD, a lampshade he's been admiring in a local gallery, or an autographed photo of his childhood cricket hero. · You can even gift him small items throughout the day - May be every 4 hours. You may centre all our gifts on a particular theme. If your theme is “Style”, then your gifts may include perfume, hair-gel, sunglasses, or the likes. If your theme is “Office”, then choose from pens, paper-weights, pen-stands, or wallpapers. · Arrange a surprise party or picnic for your dad. He will definitely enjoy all your companies. After all in this fast paced life we all fall alone at some point or the other. · Nowadays do your mom and dad spend enough time with each other after looking into the daily cores for everyone else? I don’t think they do. Why don’t you then arrange for a li’l weekend outing for them or at least a show for a movie? I am sure they will be overjoyed. · Honour your dad, if he is no more, by donating to his favorite charity, paying a visit to his closest friend, or just by taking out sometime and remember him in solitude. Conclusion: Do ensure that you give your favourite DAD a passionate hug on that day and see him smile gleefully. See to it that18th June 2006 becomes an exception in a positive way. Say “Happy Father’s Day” and make your father’s day look different than the other 364 days of the year. Cheers! Article Source: articledashboard

         
    Fear of commitment

     

    In my counseling work, I often work with clients who have a deep fear of commitment. These individuals generally say that they want to be in a loving relationship, yet they keep picking “the wrong people.” Susan, 38, sought my help because she was in two relationships at the same time. This didn’t feel right to her, so she knew that she had to make a choice. Yet she could not seem to decide which relationship was right for her. Susan had been in a relationship with Shawn for two years. Shawn, 43, was a delightful man, fun loving and sweet. However, Shawn would emotionally disappear for long periods of time, and he was clear that he did not want children – which was very important to Susan. In addition, Shawn was always living on the edge financially. Then Susan met Calvin, who was totally different than Shawn. Calvin stayed emotionally present, had a job he loved and made very good money, and wanted to have children. Susan was very attracted to Calvin and in her heart she knew that he was a much better choice for her than Shawn. Yet she could not seem to let go of Shawn. As we explored the situation, it became apparent that Susan couldn’t let go of Shawn because she was terrified of commitment. With Shawn there was no chance of being in a committed relationship – he was not really available. Yet Susan felt “safe” with Shawn. Safe from what? Susan discovered that she was terrified of really being in love, which was a possibility with Calvin but not with Shawn. In her mind, being in love meant losing her freedom. When she thought of being with Calvin, she felt like she couldn’t breathe. Her concept of a loving relationship was that, “You are together all the time. I couldn’t just go and be with my friends or take a vacation with a friendmitment means giving up freedom.” No wonder she felt safe with Shawn! As long as Susan felt she had to give herself up to be in a loving relationship, she would not be able to make a commitment. Douglas, 34, another client of mine, has the exact same problem. When he is in a relationship, he is a very “nice guy.” He tends to try to please his partner because, in his mind, taking care of himself and doing the things he wants to do is selfish. Yet, in giving himself up to his partner, he ends up resenting her and ending the relationship. Like Susan, he is operating under the false belief that he has to give up his personal freedom to be in a loving relationship. Both Susan and Douglas have a major false belief that is causing their fear of commitment: that loving another person means doing what that person wants instead of staying true to themselves and taking loving care of themselves. They both have a false definition of selfish. They think they are being selfish if they take care of themselves instead of care-take their partners. I offered them this definition of selfish: Selfish is when you expect someone else to give themselves up for you – to not do what they want to do and instead do what you want them to do. Selfish is when you do not support others in taking loving care of themselves and instead expect them to take care of you. Giving yourself up is a form of control. You want to control how the other person feels about you by doing what they want you to do. When you do what another person wants you to do from love and caring, with no agenda to get their approval, you feel wonderful. But when you give yourself up from fear of your partner’s anger or withdrawal, you will feel trapped and resentful. To be in a committed relationship, your first commitment needs to be to yourself – to your truth, integrity and freedom. Learning to take loving care of yourself is the key to healing a fear of commitment. When you are taking loving care of yourself, you will be filled with love and you will have much love to share with your partner!

         
    Fear of commitment in relationships

     

    Fear of commitment scientifically, is a type of phobia. It is commonly called as the commitment phobia which refers to a person who is afraid of being committed to any deep relationships, tasks, projects and responsibilities. Have you ever know someone who has the fear of commitment? I have several friends who have the symptoms of this kind of phobia. Most of them are men. They cannot decide on simple things. They find it hard to choose on what to eat during a dine-out in a restaurant, they can’t choose between two good movies, even on what to wear. And worst no one of them has ever been to serious relationships, considering the fact that they are already in their 30’s and is an ideal marrying age for men. Let me tell you about my friend named Patrick. He is one of my closest friends and he is a bachelor who makes good money. Girls are coming in and out of his life like the wind. And nobody seems to last even the ones that I think would last. I suspected that he has fear of commitment. But he won’t accept it, which in fact is another characteristic of a person who has a fear of commitment. We had a conversation about it once. Here it goes: Me: “Have you ever been to a serious relationship before? Patrick: “Nope.” Re replied. Me: “Why?” Patrick: “It’s because I’m not ready yet.” Me: “What are the things that made you not ready? I asked again. He simply shrugged his shoulders and paused. Patrick: “It is simply because I’m afraid to commit to a woman, and I don’t want to get married at this time. I’m afraid that I may not handle the responsibilities of a father and a husband at the same time.” Me: “Then you are one of those who are afraid of commitments or the fear of commitment.” Patrick: “Am I? I don’t think so…” Fear of commitment makes it hard for you to decide on whatever you need to decide on especially if the future is at stake. Therefore, having a fear of commitment is not healthy at all. Fear of commitment can really hold you back because it is only be entrusting to a procedure that life has to offer and we are able to make the most of opportunities that come our way. Fear of commitment can be triggered by various causes. Fear of commitment may start from childhood from which a person suffered from traumatic experience, such as separation of parents, divorce, and death. Fear of commitment can also be a result of poor role models in which the person may have witnessed offensive relationships. And worst the person may have been a victim of it. These experiences have a great impact on the person’s decision making and therefore the cause of development of their fear of commitment. Fear of Commitment though can be defeated by different methods. The most common method used in overcoming fear of Commitment is the hypnosis or hypnotherapy. So if you have friends who are suffering from a commitment phobia or fear of commitment, help them defeat it.

         
    Fear of engulfment

     

    Roger, 33, is a successful engineer. Married with one child, Roger called me because his marriage was falling apart. His wife, Laura, had recently told him that the marriage was over unless they got some help. She told him she just couldn’t take it any more. Roger and Laura were both on the phone for their first phone session with me. Laura described what the problem was for her. “Roger is never present – not with me, not with our daughter. He just does his own thing and doesn’t consider what anyone else might need. If I get upset or irritated, he completely retreats and waits for me to fix it. He can retreat for days at a time and the energy around the house is awful. I try to take care of myself, but I just can’t be around his negativity. “On top of that, if I ask him to do something, he either refused to do it, or says he will do it and then doesn’t, or ends up messing it up. I know he is competent because of the work he does, but he sure doesn’t act competent at home. The only time he is really interested in me is when I’ve completely pulled back. If I want anything from him, he retreats. I can’t live like this anymore!” “Roger,” I said, “Do you know what Laura is talking about?” “I know what she is talking about, but I don’t see it the way she does. I just feel like she always wants something from me. I end up feeling criticized and trapped a lot. I shut down to get away from feeling trapped.” “Do you still feel this way, now that she wants out of the marriage?” “It’s funny that you should ask that. No. As soon as she said she wanted out, all of my feelings for her came back. I can’t figure it out!” “Roger, was one or both of your parents controlling with you?” “Yes, my mother. She was incredibly controlling.” “And did you learn various ways of resisting her?” “Yes!” Roger laughs. He obviously gets pleasure out of being resistant. Roger has a deep fear of engulfment. As soon as someone wants something from him, his terror of losing himself is activated and he automatically resists. He does not even stop to ask himself if he wants to do whatever it is the other person wants. He does not stop to think about what he wants or what is in his highest good. He just resists. He resists because not being controlled is more important to him than anything. Not being controlled is more important to Roger than being loving to himself or to others. Not being controlled is his God. While Laura can certainly be controlling at times – as we all can – she does not cause Roger’s resistance. His choice to resist rather than care about himself and others started as a small child, and has continued into adulthood. As long as not being controlled is more important to Roger than being loving, there is nothing Laura can do. The real issue is that Roger has never developed an adult part of himself capable of thinking about what is best for him. He is operating from a small child aspect of himself who automatically resists in the face of Laura’s requests, just as he did with his mother. Until Roger is willing to do the inner work necessary to develop a loving adult self, he will continue to respond on automatic pilot, and Laura will continue to feel unloved by him. The irony of the situation is that Roger is being controlled by his resistance. He is not deciding for himself what he wants and doesn’t want – he is just automatically resisting. He is not even conscious that he is choosing to resist. Because Roger did not want to lose Laura, he was willing to do some inner work. The first step was to become aware of his resistance. “Roger, I suggest that you consciously choose to resist rather than just doing it automatically. By choosing it, you will become aware of it. Are you willing to try this, or do you want to resist this too?” Roger laughed. He could already feel his desire to resist doing what I asked him to do. But he did choose to try it. Within a few months, Roger was very aware of choosing to resist. He was also aware that it was no longer much fun. It was not making him happy. Roger decided that it was more important for him to be loving than to resist being controlled. He was on the road to healing.

         
    Fears of a new relationship

     

    Katie had not been in a relationship in ten years, and she was scared to death. In her last relationship, she had lost herself completely and then felt devastated when her boyfriend of three years left her for another woman. After working on herself emotionally and spiritually for a number of years, Katie, now 48, felt she was ready for a new relationship. So she joined an online dating service and promptly met Sean, who seemed too good to be true. Warm, compassionate, intelligent, and also on a personal and spiritual growth path, Sean, 55, was an available man! Now Katie’s fears that she would not meet someone turned to fears of being in a relationship again. Katie had learned how to take loving care of herself when she was alone or with friends, but doing this with a man was another matter. She had never actually taken care of herself in any of her relationships, and she was very worried that she would let herself down again. Katie wanted some guidelines regarding loving actions she could take for herself as she started to explore the relationship with Sean, and she wrote to me asking me for these loving actions. So here they are – some loving actions to take when first exploring a new relationship: 1. Stay focused inside your own body, noticing your own feelings rather than just being tuned into the other person’s feelings. Stay conscious of NOT taking responsibility for the others person’s feelings of worth or security, and NOT making the other person responsible for your feelings of worth or security. 2. Make a solid decision before getting together with the other person that you are willing to lose the other person rather than lose yourself. Make a conscious decision to NOT make the other person’s wants, needs and feelings more important than your own. 3. Stay clear on your own truth, NOT letting the other person talk you in or out of what feels good and right for you. 4. Be willing to take full, 100% responsibility for behaving in a way that makes you feel worthy, safe and powerful. Be willing to be who you really are rather than trying to impress. Make a conscious decision that being in integrity with who you really are, is more important than getting the other person’s approval. 5. Do NOT disregard the big or small things that you find difficult, intolerable or unacceptable. If something is unacceptable or intolerable to you early in the relationship, the chances are that it is not going to get better. Do NOT convince yourself that, because there are so many good things about this person, you can overlook the problems or get the other person to change. This NEVER works! Fears of rejection can emerge very early in a relationship. Some people are terrified of doing something wrong and being rejected, because they make they other person responsible for their feelings of worth and lovability. The fear of rejection can lead a person to give him/herself up to the other person, thereby touching off fears of engulfment – of loving oneself and being controlled or consumed by the other person. Thus, fears of loss – loss of self or loss of other – often surface quickly and people find themselves either giving in or pulling away in their efforts to protect themselves from their fears. If you allow fear to guide you, you will likely either pull away or end up in an unsatisfying relationship. The most important thing to remember as you move into exploring a new relationship is: LET LOVE BE YOUR GUIDE, NOT FEAR. This means that you need to be open to learning about what is most loving to YOU – what is really in your highest good – rather than trying to have control over not being rejected or controlled by the other person. So, number six is: 6. Keep asking your inner wisdom, “What is the loving action toward myself right now? What is in my highest good right now?” If you keep asking this vital question, you will find your way through exploring a new relationship without losing yourself and without getting hurt by the other person.

         
    Fight flight or loving action

     

    Fight or flight - our automatic response to danger. When fear is present, adrenaline pours into our system to prepare us to fight or flee - from the tiger, the bear, the lava from the volcano…. Fight or flight - today we automatically respond this way to the present dangers, the deep fears that come up in relationships: rejection and engulfment - fears of loss of other and loss of self. Often, when we feel rejected and fear the loss of the other, we fight for love not to go away by defending, explaining, blaming, attacking, complying, fixing, or we flee through withdrawal. Often, when we feel engulfed and fear losing ourselves through being controlled by another, we flee through resistance or withdrawal, or fight by attacking, defending, or explaining. Just as our ancestors fought or fled from physical danger, we fight and flee from emotional danger. The problem is that, while fight or flight is appropriate in the face of physical danger, this same behavior in the face of emotional fear causes deep problems in relationships. When we respond automatically to the fears of losing ourselves and losing another, we behave in the very ways that create fear in the other. Our fight or flight reactions create fear in the other person - the same fears of losing themselves or losing us. Our fighting and fleeing activates others’ fear of rejection and engulfment, creating a vicious circle of fighting and fleeing. These unconscious, automatic reactions to emotional danger were learned long ago, when we were very small and had to rely on fight or flight as part of our survival. Today they are now longer necessary for our survival, and need to be replaced with loving actions toward ourselves and others. What does it mean to take loving action in the face of another’s fight or flight behavior? Where do we get the role modeling for what it looks like to take loving action in the face of another’s unloving behavior? Most of us had parents who did not role model loving action in the face of conflict. We have not seen much of it on TV or in movies. How do we learn to take loving action in our own behalf when in conflict with another - action that takes care of ourselves without violating or threatening another? This role modeling exists in the form of our spiritual Guidance. Tapping into this Guidance is not as hard as you may think - it just takes practice and a deep desire to move out of fight or flight and into loving action. The steps we can take to move out of automatic fight or flight and into loving actions are: 1. Start to attend to your feelings, the physical sensations within your body that let you know when you are anxious or afraid. 2. Stop and breathe when you feel fear or anxiety in the face of conflict, or in the face of another’s fight or flight behavior. Give yourself some breathing time to make a conscious decision rather than go on automatic pilot. 3. Open to learning with the source of spiritual Guidance that is always here for all of us by asking with a sincere desire to know, “What is the loving action? What is in my highest good and the highest good of the other?” Asking this question with a deep desire to learn opens the door to receiving information. It does not matter whether you are asking this of your own highest self within, or from an external source of wisdom. The information will come in the form of words, pictures, or feelings when you sincerely want to be loving to yourself and others. 4. Take action on the information you receive. Examples of loving action are: 1. Move into compassion for the other person, recognizing that he or she would not be in fight or flight without being in fear. Asking the other person, again from a deep desire to learn, what he or she is afraid of that is causing this behavior may de-escalate the situation and lead to understanding and healing. 2. If the other person is not open to calm discussion and exploration of the conflict, disengage from the interaction, speaking your truth without anger or blame. For example, you might say, “I don’t want to fight with you. I’m going to take a walk and let’s try to talk about it later.” Or, “This isn’t feeling good between us. Let’s take a break and get together later.” 3. If the other person has withdrawn from you, loving action may be to do something fun or nurturing for yourself. Both staying and learning together or taking some time apart to reflect on the issues or self-nurture will break the cycle of each person going into fight or flight in reaction to the other person’s fight or flight. It takes conscious practice to stop going into automatic behavior, but the payoff is well worth the time it takes to practice loving action.

         
    Find your soulmate

     

    : Soulmate. Once upon a time we wondered if we were ever going to meet our own. We ask if the one we are with right now is the one truly meant for us. There are just too many stories about people finding “the one”, their “match”, their “twin soul”, that at times it almost feels too magical to believe, yet we keep on believing. Love, indeed, moves in mysterious ways. If you want to know if it’s possible, it is. You can find your soulmate. Soulmates are believed to be our “love match”, the other twin of our soul. If you have episodes of yearning and longing, that’s because you haven’t met yet the special someone who can fill up your loneliness. If you got fears, he definitely has ways to subside them. He can put an end to your uncertainty; he spells happiness. Soulmates rather complement us than complete us. The first sign in discerning if HE is the one is when your heart and mind tell you that HE is so. You will know it even if you don’t know how. That’s the joy that soulmates bring to everyone. Knowing each of us has a matched soul is a beautiful thing to think of. The universe is so huge that the journey in finding our soulmates seems like a blanket of overwhelming adventure. The thought seems mysterious but tugs inspiringly at the heartstrings. It makes us want to wake up each day with that burning desire that we might just stumble to them. The scenario can get really delightful, what with a not so perfect world that we have, finding your soulmate in the most strange times is perhaps the most beautiful thing that can happen to any individual. So, the question is, how do you find your soulmate when you have no place to start and you have no hint at whom to look for? Simple, it only takes affirmation and awareness, and at the right time you will be able to recognize the “one”. AFFIRMATION. Believe that you will meet him. While it is true that you don’t have to go on searching literally for your soulmate, it takes a positive affirmation to help you attract the energies of the universe that may lead you to him. As with the Christian principle: Ask and you shall receive. Maintain a conscious effort of believing and anticipating that one day soon you will meet. It can be an everyday exercise you can practice that can fuel you to live your life with passion for love. AWARENESS It would help a great deal if you can keep your eyes and heart open for possible encounters with a soulmate. Know in your heart that you wish to meet him and imagine in your mind what a dream it would be when that happens.

    Anyone can pass for a soulmate so try not to discriminate people in advance. Good for you if you have the gift of discernment, but who are the chosen few who have this talent? The strategy is to be in control. Cling on to that aspiration that your soulmate is not too far away. Be aware of signs that surround you because who knows, he could also be looking for you. _______________________________________________________

         
    Finding your muslim significant other

     

    In our days, finding a life partner is a very hard to do although online communities in this area are in a large number. The problem with these communities is that they are filled with insincere people that you can’t trust. The problem remains the same for the so-called “Muslim marriage websites“. The society is suffering tremendous changes and the influx of reverts to Islam affects many of the Muslims as they don’t have the same opportunities as the rest when it comes down to choosing a life partner. Statistics show that the traditional route for Muslims as far as choosing a partner is concerned brings not so great results as many of them remain unmarried after they reach 30. For this particular reason, on the Internet there are some websites that have been created to fill this important gap and help Muslims get together in a trustworthy environment with no potential risks like fake profiles and other similar issues. Quality websites allow users to create a very complex profile where they can make a small description of themselves: hobbies, passions, education and other similar aspects that define a person. This will help finding the perfect match easier and fortunately, very fast. Once a visitor has finished editing his profile, a summarized version will be posted on the website while the full profile will only be available upon request by other members of the website. Muslims have now the possibility to find their life partner using these websites where joining is free but the “request for contacts“option is only available for the gold members of the website. These websites have a very specific goal: facilitating Islamic marriages for those people that are looking for such a marriage and they will do everything in their power to provide satisfactory results to their members so that more and more Muslin families will be born in a loving and caring environment. The process for such websites is quite simple, as follows: • Visitors first have to enter their e-mail address on the homepage to receive the link to the website’s online profile. • Step two is about filling the profile with as much information as possible so that the chances of finding the perfect match will be higher. • Once the visitor finishes filling out his profile, the details will be added to the website’s database. • Depending on the website, on one of the days of the week, the user will receive an e-mail with potential matches. • If a user requires more details about a certain member, he has the possibility to ask for a full profile (along with a photo) of that specific member. • Afterwards, if the user finds that profile interesting he will contact the administrator of the website who will contact the member on his behalf. • The contacted member will receive an “interested member” e-mail with the users’ full profile attached to it. After this step, it is up to the contacted member to reject or respond. All thing considered, such websites that facilitate Muslim marriages aren’t hard to use and the results can be not only great but they can come in a very short period of time. The key is to fill out the profile with as much information as possible so the likelihood of finding a match will be higher.

         
    Finest russian women still want american men. why

     

    : Why do the finest Russian women search for American men? As an owner of a free Russian women dating site, I have been asked a lot about Russian ladies looking for American men. Here is one of the questions: “I am a 31 year old American man and tried the personals in the US. I had little luck with local dating and regional dating sites. However, when I started using the Russian personals, the response was overwhelming. Why are the finest Russian women so much more interested in corresponding with American men than are American women interested in corresponding with American men?" If you ask Russian ladies looking for American men about their motivations for seeking a husband abroad you may find out some convincing arguments for doing so. Here are the top 6 reasons why the finest Russian women start searching for a foreign husband.

  • Census, Russia is home to 10 million more women then men. The number of women in their 30s noticeably exceeds the number of men. After the divorce, the woman with a kid (or with no kids) has little chance of getting married again in Russia, according to sociologists. There are no men in Russia to get married to: mortality rate of the working age males is extremely high.
  • Women are overloaded with family responsibilities in Russia: housekeeping, upbringing of children and earning of money. They have to take charge of all everyday problems that are essential for their families. For the sake of truth it should be said, there ARE nice, responsible and sober men in Russia but we don't easily meet them. The unvarnished truth is: most Russian men abuse alcohol and do not provide for their families. Psychologists say, Russian men undervalue the essence of family.
  • Finest Russian women are highly educated and want careers. Depending on where she lives in the FSU, she may find that it is impossible for her to have the career she wants and to realize her full potential there. Most educated women have more ambition than to simply function from 9 to 17 for a tiny salary. There's nothing wrong with that, as long as she seeks a loving relationship with the man and his moral support.
  • Some Russian women are looking to live in an economically more stable environment (and I don't just mean the ones who are obviously looking for a 'sugar daddy', although there are some of those as well as you already know). In other words, it is reasonable to say some want to live in a better economy but we can not assume that is what every Russian woman looking abroad desires. There's nothing wrong with that as well, as long as the woman's feelings toward the man are sincere.
  • The female has an instinct to choose a mate of good genes, to support the family, and defend the children of that union. If the finest Russian women see American men for that basic instinct, than she has made a wise choice, not just about money, but thinking about the future.
  • Sometimes people are just lonely. They either have different standards or just haven't met the right person and have expanded their selection. There is nothing wrong with that. There is something even satisfying about looking abroad. It can be a win-win situation. "Marriages between Russian women and American men are very successful and harmonious", O. Makhovskaya, the senior research assistant at the Psychology Institute in Russia's Academy of Sciences says. "Families of this kind where husbands are Americans and women are Russians prove to be long-living, as the roles in the family are clearly distributed and the mechanism operates good, although these are mixed families. In such families each of the couple is ready to make concessions and on the whole, wonderfully performs the role." My opinion on these relationships is: trust. If you found the right person, if you met a nice woman don't worry about the "why"...too much, there is no one answer. Trust and enjoy. The notion 'Russian woman' includes women from Ukraine and Belarus as well, as they have very much in common.

  •      
    Five tips to revitalize your love vibe

     

    You have the ability to radiate and revitalize your love vibe to attract more desirable experiences. When you feel loving, you will attract more love. Feeling good about yourself, attracts others to you. 1. Feel Motivated and Enthusiastic About Life and LOVE When your energy goes into all of your relationships it makes it hard to focus on you and what you want to create. It becomes challenging to maintain balanced emotional, mental and physical health. When your energy is engaged in an unhappy or abusive relationship with a negative thinking or a mis-behaving person, you are vulnerable to illness and exhaustion. So much of your vital force goes into making things right that you become depleted. 2. Release Un-Wanted Thoughts When you think about your past problems, your energy goes into them. Have you spent time thinking ahead of yourself into the future preparing, planning or worrying about what is yet to come? When you jump into the past or future events or situations it is difficult to appreciate and make the most of the present moment. What you think about; you bring about. When you spend time on unwanted thoughts or feelings it leaves less energy for you to just be. 3. Love Energy is Intoxicating Can you remember feeling in love? Love energy is intoxicating. Access that intoxicating love energy to incorporate positive, loving feelings into your life. Connecting to a loving feeling creates a feeling of safety and support. When you feel safe, you release anxiety, awkwardness and uneasiness, allowing your natural sexual expression to flow easily. 4. Increase Your Vibrant LOVE Essence Reclaiming your energy will not only help stop unwanted thoughts, it will also decrease confusion and increase your ability to communicate with your own inner voice. To reclaim your own energy from people, places and situations, visualize a shimmering golden sun above your head. Allow it to magnetically reclaim your energy from places where you left it. Then, with your imagination, bring the golden sun down into your body, replenishing all the cells of your body. Imagine yourself engulfed with this powerful, vibrant essence of YOU. 5. Revitalize Your Self – Any Time, Any Where You can replenish yourself all day long. While standing in a stagnant grocery line, after a grueling energy zapping meeting with your boss or during a soccer game with the kids, you can replenish your energy. Revitalize your drooping spirit any time during the day or while practicing the relaxing exercises in this book. You can ‘re-energize’ yourself as often as desired. Begin to feel lighter, more alive, relaxed, and calm as you reclaim more of your energy. There is an infinite amount of energy you can reclaim for yourself. When you have more of our own vital energy in your energetic space and body, you build momentum and attract more of what you desire. With practice, your energy becomes more powerful and magnetic. Without effort, you develop clarity and effortlessly become what you want. Your natural effervescence will begin to bubble up as you release accumulated stress and radiate your natural sensuality. Amirah © 2006 All Rights Reserved. You have permission to publish this article electronically or in print, free of charge, as long as the bylines are included. A courtesy copy of your publication would be appreciated.

         
    Flower delivery

     

    Over recent years there has been a marked increase in the number of flower shops that are offering flowers and flower arrangements at discount rates over the internet. Many offer free shipping and most offer some form of discount. It has quickly become one of the most popular forms of flower sales for florists. Most of these flower shops offer same day delivery within a specified distance from the flower retailer. Discounts are often offered for specials occasions such as Mothers Day, Valentines Day, Christmas Day and also for other personal occasions such as the birth of a baby. By buying directly from the retailer over the Internet you can be assured of freshness and flower quality, as the reputation of these online retailers can spread quickly over the Internet. As flowers can make a powerful impression on the person who is receiving them, so too can the service and the quality of the flower retailer and they know that providing good service and prices will help them retain your custom. Added to this is the fact that there are now so many opportunities for the customer to shop around and get exceptional deals. Ordering flowers online is so much easier, and more often than not you will have a far greater selection to choose from when dealing with the big flower delivery services. Flower deliveries can be scheduled for different times of the day adding to the convenience of online ordering. With many different payment options it is as simple as filling out the details, paying with your credit card and your flower delivery will arrive at your desired destination when you determine. It is very convenient for those occasions when you have forgotten to order on time or you have limited time to arrange flower delivery through your normal channels. It is possible to arrange for delivery of flowers both nationwide and also worldwide as many of the big flower delivery businesses have branches throughout the world. The best place to start is with a quick search of the Internet where you can compare what the different flower delivery companies are offering in the form of discounts and delivery times. There is no longer a problem sending flowers to a loved one anywhere in the world.

         
    Flowers the blossoms of thought and peace

     

    The 21st century, at the height of the world’s technological development, is seeing a reverse trend towards nature. It could be that humans, themselves natural creatures, find revulsion in a life dominated by modern tools and seek a return to their own roots. It could also be that a return to nature is a concession that perhaps technology is not always the better of the two. Flowers, while a minute part of nature, play a large role in natural therapies. The study of flower therapy has shown that not only the scents, but also the colors, of our favorite blooms affect us positively. This science is known as flower therapy, and extends to categories as aromatherapy, as many of the essential oils we know and love are made from flower extracted oils. Keep in mind then, that whether you are trying to win over a beauty’s heart, or heal wounds of the heart, flowers are a great start exactly because of their aesthetics and scents, which are far more pervasive than we imagine. Flower remedy had its beginnings in ancient civilizations, and is currently making a strong comeback. The idea behind it is the natural ability of flowers to help us feel better, ultimately helping to treat and prevent diseases. Maladies that have shown to be improved via flower therapy include depression, stress, menstrual cramps, and fatigue. Biologically, there is as yet no clear explanation of how positive effects take place, but it is thought that neurochemicals in our brains are released by the stimulation of flowers’ colors and scents, affecting negative emotions. When negative emotions like fear and anxiety are decreased, our immune systems strengthen. This theory is as difficult to prove as it is to disprove, yet a point strongly in favor of the theory is that it is a known fact that when we are emotionally feeling vulnerable and weak, our chances of falling physically ill increase. The sight and smell of flowers, especially when received as a gorgeous bouquet, help brighten moods, and the positive effect remains as long as the flowers are blooming. As common as flowers are after lovers’ fights or hospital stays, flowers never become common themselves. This is because they truly manage to inspire calmness and happiness which helps us to overcome the emotional distresses that keep us down. The first thing we always notice about flowers is the appearance. Be it a joyously bright bouquet, or a quiet pastel one, the colors grasp our attention and our emotions. Colors are made of light-wave frequencies, and these frequencies travel down the optic nerve into the brain. There is evidence that different light-waves can cause the production of hormones in our body, which, depending on the frequency, can calm, stimulate, or improve our moods. This being the case, choosing your flower colors carefully can directly influence the emotions of the receiver. Red, for instance, is known to spur adrenaline, which raises energy levels. Perhaps the notion of the red rose leading to passion is more than just flower language – the sight of the red rose may very well lead to feelings of passion. Yellow, which we associate with day and sunlight, helps us feel optimistic. Yellow flowers, such as sunflowers, are wonderful gifts for hospital visits. Blue stirs melatonin production, which yields relaxation and desire for sleep. If you need to calm an angry lover down, bluebells are a safe bet! Violet stimulates the pituitary gland, which decreases stress. Giving lilacs to your favorite actress before her grand debut may very well calm her nerves, but not her feelings her you. Color is a constant factor in our lives – a house is not a home until the walls are painted the right colors; we feel extra confident when the color of our outfit complements our beauty. In the same vein, a bouquet’s colors are powerful enough to change emotions. The sense of smell may not catch sight of a bouquet as quickly as our eyes, but may very well have a stronger influence over our emotions. The part of our brain interpreting emotions is the same part which interprets the olfactory sense. Scents and mood are closely tied; a smell often brings back memories, which inevitably bring up feelings – good or bad, depending on the association. Thanks to the delightful smell of flowers, they more often than not overflow us with positive emotions and memories. The scents of flowers are widely used in aromatherapy, and can have both physical and emotional effects. Jasmine is known to influence both body and mind; women impatient to go into labor smell jasmine, as it may be linked to causing contractions, and if a new mom gets the baby blues, the scent of jasmine is thought to help deal with depression. Lavender helps to relax and calm, and perhaps next door to the laboring woman smelling jasmine to speed up her contractions, there will be a woman smelling lavender to soothe her strong contractions. Geraniums, whose scent is hated by insects (thus great for those mosquito-infested summer nights), provide anxiety relief to humans (perhaps by getting rid of pests?). The delicate and beloved scent of roses helps ward off depression and restores energy. As two are stronger than one, combining color and scent in a bouquet for therapeutic effect makes the gift of flowers very strong. Not only the thrill of receiving flowers is felt, but also the more subtle emotional effects caused by the colors and scents of the flowers. Of all the gifts we choose to give, it cannot be denied that flowers are the most emotional: we give them for momentous occasions in life, and it is not by chance. Flowers happily play with our emotions, changing them for the better. We are affected physically and emotionally by the sight and smell of flowers. When appropriate words just won’t fall from our lips, either in wonderful or terrible situations, flowers will more than do the job for us, and speak volumes through their appearance and perfume, perhaps making a stronger impression than any words could make.

         
    Flowers to touch the heart

     

    Roses, daffodils, tulips, violets, chrysanthemums. The perfect way to melt the heart of every woman in your life is with flowers. Flowers touch that special place inside of every woman and lets them know that you care. Whether it is your wife, girlfriend, or mom, flowers speak the universal language of affection and appreciation. Sending flowers is a tangible way to show your love and regard. In this day and age, there are many ways to give flowers to the woman in your life and the Chicago area is a wonderful hub of different options. No matter your style or budget, you can send flowers to the woman you love. Flowers can be found in arrangements or can be purchased singly. Baskets and bouquets are other ways to express how you feel to that special woman. You can combine flowers with candy or balloons to create a unique arrangement. Flower arrangements come a rainbow of colors and styles. If the internet purchases are your style then there are a number of options available. Search for your favorite florist and flowers for that special woman are right at your fingertips. It couldn't be easier. Make your selection from a huge variety of options and then have them delivered right to that special lady's door. Here in Chicago where our lives are hectic and time is short, delivery is often the best option. Just a few moments at your computer and you can let the women in your life know that you care. Each of online flower shops offer you a variety of convenient options. You can choose from a variety of arrangements or design one yourself. Each flower arrangement can be personalized with a note that shows you care. What variety of flower should you send? Each flower has a symbolic meaning. You can send one specific kind of flower or create a bouquet that shows an array of feelings. For you mom, you might give Larkspur, which symbolizes laughter or perhaps Daffodils, which symbolize regard. For a new relationship, Lilacs represent first love and Violets stand for affection. If you wish to honor your wife, you might choose Blue Violets, which are a symbol of faithfulness or Red and White Roses, which represent unity. Flowers truly are the way to a woman's heart. Tell your girlfriend you care, let your wife know how much she means to you; thank your mom for all her years of care. Sending flowers is an easy and heartfelt way to express your feelings for that special woman in your life.

         
    Forgiveness and forgetting

     

    As the blinding flash of lightening and the rumbling roar of thunder, so it is with surprises and ideas. And especially with our own “ah-ha!” moments! Isn’t it fascinating how not one of us is absolutely perfect? We have threaded our way through life, doing the best we know how. Sure, we all have weaknesses that get the best of us at times, but for the most part, we really are doing the best we know how. And yet, after all we have done, we still find that we fall short in the consistently perfect department. So we again refocus our direction, reset our sights on the goals that we have set for ourselves, and step out on our own paths to success. And we should be pursuing all the paths to success that we can possibly handle, because that is the way we also develop our complete potential. The important thing is that we are willing to acknowledge our mistakes and make course corrections as needed. That is the best we can do. That is the most we can do. Nothing more can be expected of us as we continue threading our pathway through life. And that is the most we can expect of our partner, too. To make a union work, on the long term, we need to be willing to forgive and forget. Granted, that is not always an easy thing to do. Some things our partners do may sting and hurt us badly. But in the long run, the best thing to do is move onward. We have the two choices: Stay or leave. Was the offense really bad enough to have to consider the two options? Is the damage done to our hearts really so deep and irrepairable that it can never go away? Only you can decide the answer to that. Was it really that bad, or are we just unwilling to forgive and forget? Ponder the true gravity of the offense. Keep in mind, that to leave means total life changes, and theydo not always turn out for the best. Sometimes, of course, they can, in the case of leaving a truly abusive situation. But is your partner sincere in their efforts to change? Do their “fruits” prove the pudding? To forgive and forget means to let it go. We may be justified in being somewhat cautious in our actions, allowing them ample time and space to prove themselves. But we also need to work on the “forgetting” part. That means, simply, that we do not continue to dredge up the past when it seems to support our “position”. We need to truly “let it go”. Happiness is found in whatsoever places we look for it. The negative paths we follow from time to time will never turn up Joy. Joy and Happiness can only be found on the pathways of forgiveness and forgetting and moving forward with our lives. Try it out. It may surprise you.

         
    Forgiving in relationships

     

    In real life, law rarely forgives any wrong act. In most of the countries law is clear about punishment. We still hear a lot about forgiving in personal relationships. We are told to forgive the major blunders. We are asked to forgive and forget and continue living as if nothing happened. Does that work? To some extent yes, and to some extent no. Most of us who have been hurt in relationship do not wish to forgive at all. The result is that we suffer from the pain all our life. We are advised to forgive so that at least we can feel peaceful. If we do not forgive, our own peace is lost forever and we suffer. Forgiveness is for us. To forgive does not always mean that the abuser can continue with the same behavior. You need not tell the abuser that you have forgiven him/her. Let them suffer for what they did. But by forgiving in your own mind, you get peace. Relationship after forgiving - the relationship can never continue at the same level and intensity after any mistake has been made. No amount of forgiveness can ever bring the relation back. Bringing relationship back - I have said earlier that no relationship will return to the same old level after a major mistake has been committed. This is true. But what if the partners want to bring it back to the old level? How should they proceed? In this case, the abuser should ask for forgiveness again and again. Only after the victim is satisfied, the forgiveness can become effective to the extent that relationship comes back to normal.

         
     
         
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