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    Getting back to the basics of love and romance

     

    Almost every love story has the potential to begin as if it were a fairy tale. “Once upon a time, two people fell passionately in love and their love was unlike any others before theirs.” Relationship beginnings are wonderful and they can experience a ‘rebirth’ with a wedding, honeymoon and the exciting first year of marriage. Once a couple begins to grow and their lives change with jobs, children, social activities and other commitments, the love and romance becomes more difficult to attend to. Sometimes love and romance seem to be lost altogether. This destiny is not unavoidable if you want to rekindle the passion or simply bring it to a new level by becoming a hopeless romantic. When you want to ignite the passion in your relationship but you aren’t sure what you need to do, the best place to begin is at the beginning. Think about the things that you used to do for your partner at the beginning of your relationship. If you don’t remember or never tried to be a true romantic, don’t worry. It’s not difficult and once you begin you will find that you will get your own new ideas after a while. Most new relationships or new beginnings rely on the ‘little’ things to show love and affection. Be sure to remember special ‘couple’ days like Valentine’s Day, Anniversaries and even the date you met if possible. Be sure to send a meaningful gift or just a dozen roses and a box of chocolates to celebrate your feelings for your partner. Women can do exactly the same thing for men here. Not many men can resist candy! You may not consider yourself to be a writer, but writing your partner a long love letter with your thoughts about how you feel for the other person is one of the most touching ways to spark romance. If you aren’t comfortable writing a letter, consider making lists about what you love the most about your partner. Lists can be about the things they do that makes you laugh, what they do for you that you appreciate, how they make you feel inside, how beautiful or handsome they are and other very personal but attentive details. Call your partner and talk softly and loving. If he or she isn’t able to answer the phone, leave loving messages on their voice mail or answering machine. Talk dirty when you know that he or she can’t return the same conversation on the other end. Sometimes couples feel more comfortable trying to bring romance into their relationship by bestowing gifts on their partner. While classics like flowers, candy and perfume or cologne are almost always successful gifts, try ‘giving’ something different. Make plans to go see every romantic movie that comes to the theater during the year. Bring home a bottle of champagne to celebrate even the tiniest accomplishment he or she has had. Randomly send romantic and/or humorous greeting cards to his or her workplace or hide them under the bed pillows at home. These suggestions are simply ideas to get you started in your effort to bring romance and love to a new level in your marriage. You may have your own ideas and those are most likely better than anything offered here. Once you open the door to romance in your marriage and begin to build a foundation for future romance, you are ready to move to even more creative levels of romance.

         
    Getting over a simple ways for an effective relationship rescue

     

    Most couples experience a stormy weather in their relationship at one point or another in their lives. This is very natural because there are a lot of factors that can create conflicts between couples and at times, nobody wants to give way. This is where most of the relationship problems start, when both partners do not recognize their faults and shortcomings and both are trying to point out that they are right and it is always the other who is wrong. However, conflicts should never be reason enough to end a relationship. There are still simple ways that can be done in order to achieve a successful relationship rescue. Communicate with your partner Communication is one of the most effective keys to complete a relationship rescue plan. This should always be included in the list as more and more couples these days broke up without even acknowledging the real reason why things did not turn out the way they expected them to be for their relationship. So when things are getting somewhat out of hand, partners should talk things over and voice out their sides and open up their grudges before everything is too late. Through communication, both will have a clear picture of what is going on, why the conflict is happening, and what relationship rescue methods can be done to surpass this period. Know when to keep quiet Although silence could not be the best solution for an effective relationship rescue, but it does contribute a lot so as the problem will not aggravate. Most often, when couples are having conflicts, they tend to talk too much, thus, they neglect one of the most important parts of a relationship and that is listening. Partners should know when to keep quiet during a heated argument. It is not a good idea to raise voices, shout at each other, and worse, resort to physical violence to silence the other. When both are angry, they should let their heavy emotions subside first before speaking because more often than not, an angry person speaks even without sense and never takes any reason. Spend time to be alone for a while If communication and keeping in silence did not work as part of the relationship rescue scheme, spending time to be alone could be the best thing to do for the meantime. Conflicts have two effects: one is to strengthen the relationship and two is to break the relationship. If these conflicts repeat in circles everyday, the tendency is that both partners will be fed up, and thus the first thing that comes to their mind as a solution is to end the relationship. However, this can be prevented if both have some space for a while and try to reassess their feelings and realize where their mistakes are. This can be an effective relationship rescue method because sometimes people realize the importance of their partner when he or she is not around. These are some of the effective ways that couples can do in order to achieve a successful relationship rescue. Both partners should realize that ending the relationship is not always the best solution to end a conflict, but instead follow these relationship rescue methods to resolve them. With all these things in mind, no matter what conflicts come in the relationship, both partners can get through these and make their relationship even stronger.

         
    Gift basket ideas for the man in your life

     

    Are you looking for a good gift idea for the man in your life? Are you never quite sure what to get him? Does he have t-shirts and ties you have gotten him hidden in the back of your closet? Even if your man is hard to buy for, there are great ideas out there. If you cannot think of a good gift for your man or are tired of giving him the same old thing, consider a gift basket. Most men have some type of hobby. It might be hunting, fishing, golf, or grilling out. No matter what your man likes to do, chances are you can find a gift basket that will make him happy! You can purchase gift baskets online, but if you do not have enough time for it to be shipped, you can check your local stores. There may be stores that specifically make gift baskets listed in the phone book. If not, you might contact a local florist as many of them also make gift baskets for special occasions. If you cannot find a local shop and you do not have time to order online, do not panic. Making your own basket is easy enough. You can purchase a basket at any crafts store, use a blanket, apron, or paper to line it and stuff it full of goodies for your man! Here are a few gift basket ideas: Grilling Gift Basket - Most men love to grill out. If this describes your man, a grilling basket is a great gift idea. You can fill it with many things but you may want to start with a cute apron. You can go with one that is a cute pattern, like fish, chili peppers, or camouflage. On the other hand, you may be able to find an apron with a cute saying like “Kiss the Chef” or one a little more risquй like “Barbecue Naked - Show Off Your Buns.” On top of that, you can place grilling utensils such as a fork, spatula, brush or tongs. You can also throw in your favorite bottle of barbecue sauce and a nice bottle of wine to enjoy when the grilling is done. Gone Fishing Gift Basket - If your man likes to fish, he will love a customized Gone Fishing gift basket. Not only will he enjoy the items in the basket, but also know that in giving him this, you are also giving him a day of fishing! You can line this basket with paper and pile in all his fishing favorites. One nice item to add would be a portable fishing scale/tape measure so he can see exactly how big his catch is. You can also load the basket with scented bait, a trout blaster hook, lures, a bait dip net, a pair of Titanium Pliers – the possibilities are endless. You might even throw in the new reel he has had his eye on! You can also fill his basket with snacks for your angler like toasted sesame seed crackers, beef jerky, salted peanuts, and Oreo cookies. If you can find some cute fabric with fish on it, use that to make a bow on top of the basket. NASCAR Gift Basket - NASCAR fans love almost anything NASCAR gift related. You can fill your man’s basket with his favorite driver’s toy replica cars or a coffee cup with his favorite driver’s number and colors. You can add to the basket a hat, t-shirt, bumper stickers, coasters, magnets, or a key chain. Does your man like to play darts? There are even NASCAR darts! If you really want to give him something extra special, order tickets to his favorite NASCAR race ahead of time and hide those in his basket. Hunting Gift Basket - If your man likes to hunt, many things can be used to fill a gift basket. Look for picture frames of ducks, deer – whatever he likes to hunt. You may be able to find a clay pigeon letter holder, a bullet box he can keep on his desk to store paper clips, or a DVD on how to be a more successful hunter. You can peruse your local hunting goods store to get plenty of good ideas. No matter what you man likes, he will love a basket filled with goodies of his favorite hobby or sport. He will also love knowing that you took the time to get him something you knew he would really enjoy!

         
    Gifts you should never give to your girlfriend

     

    Men and women are really different in many aspects: the way of thinking, their needs, expectations. For example, gifts mean a lot to women, but we can't say the same thing about men. A woman knows how to ''read'' the message that a gift is giving, but men doesn't pay too much attention and importance to a gift. So, choosing a right gift for a woman can be very difficult. The right gift tells her you're thoughtful, observant and you really understand her, but the wrong one can tell her just the opposite. Any gift that says you love her, that you cherish her, know her, is pretty safe. What happens if your gift doesn't transmit your real feelings for her? A gift worth more than a thousands words for a woman. Not many of us, men, know which a bad gift for a woman is. In order to not surprise her negative with your gift, here are some gifts you should avoid buying her: 1. Insult gifts: -Awful flowers – for women flowers have a big importance and that's why you have to realize the difference between good flowers and bad ones; if you don't know anything about flowers, you may ask a female florist to help you choose the right bouquet for your girlfriend; you don't want to go there with some flowers you may give to her grandmother, don't you? -A cheap perfume – no matter how fancy it looks, you can't fool her; women usually know many things about the beauty products, perfumes, and which the best are -Lingerie – is a risky bet; a lingerie made of flannel will be definitely not on her taste; you have to choose the correct size, the right style for her; you have to choose something that she likes and not what you'd like her to wear; if you didn't choose the right size, the message she will understand is or that she is too fat, or that you are insinuating she needs a breast enlargements; so, forget it -Wrinkle cream – even if she does need it, you are not the right person to buy it; let her do it; you will make her feel old by bringing this -Socks – are considered the most offensive and disappointing gift; most people are happy to buy their own socks; so it's not a good idea to choose -Laser hair removal – even if you are tired of her mustache or stubbly legs, don't buy such a thing; maybe she will buy herself one from her own initiative 2. Gifts that require work: -Cooking utensils – the message that she will understand from this gift is that her place is in the kitchen; a cookbook – might be thinking that you hate her cooking; if you want to encourage her to cook more you'd better make her some positive compliments; praise the meals she does and she will be more likely to take more of an interest in the culinary arts -Cleaning products – as vacuum cleaners, mops, dusters, oven cleaner or other household cleaning products; she will wonder if that you consider that her place is dirty or what ; also she will understand that you see her more as a maid and not your partner 3. Things that make her feel bad about herself: -Membership to a diet program – even if she told you that she would like to join one, it is not a good gift; she might think that you consider she is not beautiful anymore until she won't be lose weight -Exercise equipment – it is an unpleasant way to tell her she's fat; you'd better ask her to join you at some activities such as cycling, hiking or jogging; say her that you want to do it for yourself and don't want to go alone; choose an activity that you think she would like and doesn't need an expensive equipment -Clothes – again you may choose the wrong size, and make her feel bad; anyway, even if you have impeccable taste, clothes are a woman pleasure 4. Totally NO gifts: -A pet – not everybody is glad to get a pet as gift, because to raise a pet involves a lot of responsibility, much work; is she said that she likes dogs that not necessarily means that she wants one; if she decides to buy a pet, let her choose one and buy herself -A gift for yourself – like a golf set or a playstation; it will be a selfish fact; gift should be focused on what she wants and not what you want; don't assume that you have the same interest, because even if she stay and watch football games with you this doesn't mean that she wants to have soccer ball 5. Nothing -Do not believe when she says that she doesn't need anything, because this is not true; she said this but she is expecting to receive something from you; if you appear there without a gift, you may see on her face that she will be disappointed and upset I wish you good luck in choosing the right gift for your girlfriend and remember that you have to give her something that makes her feel special and loved; so, be thoughtful about it.

         
    Giving others the benefit of the doubt

     

    There’s a saying in aikido, “There are many lessons on the mat.” It means that when we’re practicing aikido we’re not just learning aikido, we’re also learning about life. For example, when someone grabs my wrist too hard and I get angry but don’t say anything, I eventually learn that it would be more useful to ask him not to grab so hard. I may also notice that it’s difficult for me to ask for what I want in other places in my life, that I suffer needlessly because of it, and that I blame others and justify my blaming instead of taking action. Many lessons . . . I swim daily and notice that I have a new saying, similar to the aikido one, that goes “There are many lessons in the pool.” Every day I seem to have another internal learning adventure. An example of this is the lane partner dilemma. Some swimmers are easy and quiet as they cut through the water; others splash. Some swim straight and stay in their own part of the lane, leaving plenty of room. Others flail and lunge, seemingly unaware that there is anyone else around. Just like in aikido, with some partners cooperation is easy. As if we were dancing, we know the timing and the moves and we flow easily with each other. With others it’s messy, and we’re stepping on each other’s toes all the time. Ever feel this way? At the pool, as in aikido, I find I can make the situation messier or easier depending on my attitude and actions. Lesson #1: I am given many dance partners in life. Whether the dance is easy or difficult is influenced at least in part by me. Please Pick Another Lane. Which brings me to Lesson #2. One of the “difficult partners” seems to like to swim with me. I can’t figure it out. Even when there’s an empty lane, he gets in mine. He swims more slowly than I do, so I have to wait for him or double back so as not to “pass” him, which we’re not allowed to do at our pool. He splashes and his swimming is erratic, his arms swinging way out to the side and occasionally accidentally hitting me. When I see him coming I think, Oh no, please pick another lane. But he doesn’t. One morning I came to the pool late and this gentleman was already swimming. There was an open lane next to his, and I sat on the edge and was doing my warm-ups when he came up for air. He looked over and motioned to me that he was getting out and I could have his lane. I thanked him but stayed where I was. I had a lane. He explained that he really liked his lane because there were no jets gushing water into the pool. The jets are very strong and bother him. The lane he was in – the lane I usually swim in – doesn’t have them. Aha! I say to myself. He doesn’t get into my lane just to annoy me. He dislikes the other lanes. And now he’s trying to give me the “good” lane. What a nice person! Lesson #2: It’s not always about me. The Benefit of the Doubt. A third lesson from the pool is that people surprise me if I let them. Recently I got into the hot tub (“many lessons in the hot tub”) to relax after my swim. There was a man in there swishing his legs back and forth really hard, churning the water into waves. I closed my eyes and leaned against the edge of the tub and tried to mellow out. Impossible. I opened my eyes and looked at him, hoping he would see that he was disturbing me. Oblivious. I closed my eyes again. Getting worse. I was practically drowning in the churning hot water. I opened my eyes and looked again. Oblivious. I sighed out loud. Nope. Okay, time to either get out of the tub or say something. I remembered that curiosity usually works better than accusation, and I asked, “Is that an exercise you’re doing?” He noticed me and smiled – a really nice smile – and said that yes, it was an exercise recommended by his doctor. He used to jog, loved jogging, but his knees could no longer support that activity. In fact, his knees could barely support walking, and swimming was one of the few things that helped; the swooshing motion strengthened the ligaments. He went on to talk about jogging, swimming, disappointment and his efforts to reinvigorate his knees and stay in shape. What a nice man, I thought. Lesson #3: People usually have a positive intention. Give them the benefit of the doubt. The benefit of the doubt: what does it mean? What doubt? Well, as I swim up and back and up and back I think it must mean giving other people the benefit that derives from doubting my preconceived notions about their motives. Is he really getting in my lane just to annoy me? Probably not. Is he churning up the water to keep others out? I think I’ll doubt that assumption and see what happens. Usually what happens is that I discover a genuinely nice person behind the fog of my assumptions and have a really fun swim.

         
    Good relationships accelerate our growth

     

    A relationship means two people connecting with each other - In profit and in loss, in pleasure and in pain. In a relationship, we know that we have somebody with us. We are not alone. A relationship can be life giving and life changing. Many times in our life, we want to achieve some goals. We have our dreams and our ideas. We never reveal them to anyone. But if we relate to somebody very well, we will tell about this to that person. If our relationship is good, we will get support and encouragement. Please go ahead. I think you are very intelligent and you can do this. You have the capability. I will be with you at every step. Sometimes, we fall sick and feel very helpless. A prolonged sickness affects the confidence. Only a relationship supports us at that time. Please have no worry. You will get all right. Everything will be Ok very soon. Please believe me. I am with you at all the times. Words can give life. I can give many examples like these. A relationship gets us a friend, a lover and a confident. When we have a partner, we are not alone. We can open ourselves without fear. We can act as we wish and believe that it will be understood. A good relationship is invaluable. Many times some of us never realize our strength. Our partner points that out to us. He/she tells us - darling, you are so good in this. Why not progress further. You will perform fantastically. This can change our outlook and enhance our self-esteem. Please increase the intimacy and make your relationship of the kind that gives life its true joy.

         
    Great relationships aren t an accident

     

    Do you find that initiating romantic connections seems more complicated than ever? If you do, you are not alone! Modern dating needs a major overhaul and almost a manual whom to ask, when to ask, where to ask, how to ask for a date! Our world has changed so much that the customary way to meet someone simply does not work anymore. If you are a busy individual, and who isn't today, there is probably no time in your life to waste with "hit and miss" random dating experiences. To complicate matters we now have the internet as a tempting and easy way to meet someone. Reality today is much different and more challenging. The first thing to understand that is different is the myth of "If it is meant to be, it will happen." Very few relationships happen that way anymore. Today, you can make it happen. Next, realize that good relationships do not occur when you are not looking. Romance by chance is a bygone thing and truth be told, soemthing that never really existed. Today, you must empower yourself to take control over your personal happiness. Everything in our daily life is more or less structured and planned. so should your search for a great realtionship. Nowadays you have to be pro-active to succeed in anything: education, career, finances, creating leisure time. It only follow that you should become active in the pursuit of your personal happiness! This includes a great long-term realtionship. Consider using a resource such as a matching, prescreening service for introductions. The stigma of these groups is long gone with the past. There are many reputable ones to use. In choosing a service ask questions, screen them well and make sure they specialize in "introductions." Taking this kind of proactive approach to finding a solid relationship in today's world is well worth your time.

         
    Great ways to influence people

     

    We all have our own mentors - people who, in one way or another, has played a big role and influenced us in the way that we perceive things. At some point in your life, you will also find that what you have done or said has a way of influencing people. In these two cases, you will see that there is a way for you to influence people and it will benefit you if you know how to use this skill to your advantage. There is actually no right or wrong way to influence people. The important thing when trying to influence people is that you are going for a positive result. Your success as a leader or part of a group, as well as in life in general, will depend on your ability to influence people and affect their lives in a positive way. To have a deeper understanding of how you can influence people in a positive or productive manner, take a look at the following: 1. Get your message across. Take a manager for example. If an employee under his supervision is often late arriving to work, how can he influence this employee into improving his or her performance at work? The first thing that the manager needs to do is set a good example. By showing up on time, you are sending the message that you may be the boss but you are not exempted from the company rules - even with something as simple as coming to work on time. This way, the manager can influence the employee by being a role model and setting a good example. 2. If a person is behaving inappropriately, dig deeper into the reason for such behavior. Influencing people into your way thinking does not - and should not involve manipulating, bullying, punishing or harassing. There should be a motivation behind such behavior, and punishing them into submission will not give you the results that you want. Find out what the reason is behind all of it. Listen to their problem and have them explain the situation to you. Only then can you make an intelligent decision and take steps on how you can change their mind into your way of thinking. 3. Explain the results that you would like to see and get feedback. If you are a leader in a sales company, for example, you all have a common goal to meet as a company. If your employees think that you are only in it for the money with no deeper motivation, you may not influence them into thinking that they should work hard enough to make the company profit. To influence them into meeting the goals that you have, explain the results that you would like to see. The process should not end here, because you also need to gain feedback to learn if the goals are realistic, or if the methods that you want them to use are at all feasible. 4. Learn how to listen and communicate effectively to influence people in a positive way. Influencing people is not just limited to the workplace. Even as a parent, you can try to influence your children into living the kind of life that you would like them to have. As a friend, you may not always agree with your friend’s actions but you should always be there for them to support whatever decisions it is that they make. Listening and learning how to communicate effectively will make you influence other’s lives because of a deeper understanding that you will have on what motivates them, which in turn will give you an idea on how to deal with a particular situation. With these in mind, you can learn how to yield positive results in the way that you influence people, so that you can be successful in reaching the goals that you have set for yourself and for others.

         
    Guilt destroying love and relationships

     

    When the mind allows guilt to take over, it will tear down relationships, especially if the partner fails to come to terms and agreement with oneself. To determine if your mind is full of guilt you must ask your self questions. What did you do so wrong that would offend your partner that cannot be forgiven ? Guilt can break the mind down to the point of no return. Guilt is more than a mistake made; rather it is a violation against rights, humanity, belief, tradition, standards, and love. When a person fails in a relationship, they may feel a measure of guilt. Thus, confronting the problem now can remove the guilt and make the relationship work. When people confront their problems, it often leads to workable agreements. When procrastination, or else lying to cover the wrong, the mind consumes itself with emotions based on guilt. Guilt occurs when conscious actions or thoughts interfere with someone else’s rights, or else against the own person’s beliefs. Mistakes leading to guilt depend on the situation, but for the most part wrongs can lead to right if humanity exists. If a person commits adultery, thus the problem is solvable if the person acted out of emotion, rather than thought and commits to restoring trust. Of course, actions, effort, behaviors and habits must show your mate that the mistake will never occur again. It depends on the mate but some will forgive, while others may take the insult of the partner letting them know their worth in the relationship to heart and may decide separation and/or divorce is the way out. Adultery is stating to the mate that you have no worth. If the mate decides to forgive, thus you must do your part and allow the guilt to turn into effort to restore trust. You will need consideration, loyalty, compassion, honesty, and may even need to tell your every move for a while during the course of restoration. A person with true remorse will work hard, regardless of what he/she needs to do to restore trust. If a person violates the right of the partner, thus, it depends on the magnitude of violation, but in most instances, it is workable. People act out of emotions and impulses at times, and will often act out of lust occasionally. When the emotions, impulses and desires take control (depending on the length of time control is enforced), the person may do things he or she ordinarily would not do. Thus, adultery is a justifiable reason to divorce or separate from the spouse, but looking at the entirety of the circumstance can help a person decide. Was the spouse enticed by another individual to commit the act, while the spouse was feeling vulnerable? Still, vulnerability is no excuse on the spouse’s part, but if enticement is the case, then two people wronged you. Was the other person in the act deceived? Did your mate lead the person to believe that he/she was not in a commitment? Examining the entirety of the act can help the mate determine the direction the relationship is heading, and help the other partner decide what he/she needs to do to make things right again. Divorce is an attack on the emotions, since a trigger hits the heart and emotions and creates pain, sorrow, hurt, sadness, et cetera. Divorce is showing a disregard for the marriage arrangement unless true reasons for divorce are evident. Thus, divorce should only be considered if the mate commits adultery, abuses the partner, or fails to commit in the relationship arrangement. If you are in a relationship and your mate committed an insulting act against you, such as adultery. Thus, considering the entirety will help you make a wise decision. If another person enticed your mate on vulnerable grounds, thus consider your partner by asking what were, you thinking at the time. If your mate responds by saying I wasn’t thinking, thus you can ask, what makes me think it won’t happen again? If your mate is sincerely sorry, he/she will let you know by words, action, emotions, thoughts, and tone spoken. Article Written By J. Foley travelguy. typepad/attract_love

         
    Happy friendship

     

    How to have happy friends? This is a very important question. Who likes friends who don't smile and laugh? Who enjoys meeting friends who look serious? Not any one of us. What about ourselves? Do we make happy friendships? Do we make our friends happy? Before thinking about others, wouldn't it be better if we first analyze our own selves? Do we smile more often when we are with our friends? Do we laugh at the smallest joke? Or do we have a serious expression on our face all the time with our friends? Let us first think about our own behavior and correct whatever we can. Making happy friendships Make yourself look happy with your friends and your friends will reflect. That is the secret of happy friendship. Our emotions are reflected in our body language. The reverse is equally true. Does this help us? It does. It can change our state of mind by changing our physical state. For example, if you are feeling bored, try to look cheerful and you will start becoming cheerful. It is strange, but it works. If you are feeling sad, try to look happy. You will find the sadness going away. Isn't it great? How do we talk with friends? Happiness also depends on what do we talk with our friends. Are we always talking of our own life or do we also listen to them. Listening is the best way to make friends happy. Listen and do it carefully. No pretensions. Your friends will be happy that someone heard them out without interruption. You will also be making your friendship stronger. Listening is very good. By listening, we make the other person feel important. we also make him/her feel happy and relieved. By talking things out, one feels relieved. Isn't it? Give and you shall receive - the third law of Newton. Apply this law in your life and make happy friends. You can make them happy right now by telling them about how much you appreciate their friendship. Listening to your friends, keeping a happy state of mind in their company and appreciating the friendship will make happy friends. Make your life happier and your relationships stronger with happy friends.

         
    Harmonious relationship with marriage and family counselling you can do it

     

    With many marriages that end up with divorce, there is a great need for troubled couples to undergo marriage counselling even prior to the plan of holding the wedding. Study shows that in some way, the counselling experience takes a vital part in the relationship of the couples as well as in raising their own family. Counseling services is rendered to people who want to seek for advices about the major concerns and even problems that they will probably encounter in the duration of their marriage. There are times that actual counselling is better than just reading counselling books because you can get to talk with the counsellors personally. They can also provide you with practical pointers on handling situations with your partner. Sad to say, majority of the couples wait for quite long time before they undergo basic marriage counselling. Most of them seek for the help of the counsellors only if they are on the actual problem already. Supposedly, marriage counseling should be done before the marriage. Counseling can save marriages and provide the couples enough space to explore themselves and the possible conflicts that they will encounter. It can also end up in arriving at a new understanding that will lead to a harmonious relationship. Rearing of children has also become a part of marriage counselling. Since the very essence of getting married is to propagate. Thus, all the factors that deal on the family is already included in marriage counselling. In finding for the best marriage and family counsellors, you can follow the following pointers. · Establish the issues within yourselves first why you are seeking for the help of the marriage counsellors. This is very important for you to communicate with your therapist or counsellor properly. It is not good that when you are in front of them, that is the only time that you think of the things that you are about to consult the counsellor. As much as possible, the counselor should be familiar about the issue you are about to raise beforehand. · Choose a marriage counsellor whom you are most comfortable to work with, whether a male or a female counsellor. This will help you to narrate and share everything that you need to say with your guidance counsellor. · Find for counsellors that have academic degree. The credentials that they possess differ. This will also aid you in determining the credibility of your marriage counsellor. Usually, those with the highest degree are also the most dependable ones because they already pass through several learning about their course. · Referral from your relatives and friends can also help. In fact, they are the most probable resources that you can ask regarding the best marriage and family counsellors because more or less, they have experience working with them. · You can research in the web. Some counselors post information about themselves. You can do the research about them and make an evaluation whether they pass your own set of criteria. Make the relationship of your future family a harmonious one. This will not only deal about you or your partner but also the rearing of your child. With counselling, you can make a right choice!

         
    Hatred the byproduct of a bad break up

     

    Break ups are a most difficult part of life and relationships. When you are first starting that relationship, everything is new and exciting. Many times, as the relationship wears on, it becomes hard to be with someone who may not be right for you. As a result, many couples give up. Break ups can be amenable, but much of the time it is a very ugly situation. After a breakup, it is very common to feel disgust, contempt, or even hatred for your ex-significant other. If you have broken up with someone or someone has broken up with you and you are experiencing hatred toward them, this is a very unhealthy scenario. There are several reasons to try to get over the hatred you feel for your ex. First it is not healthy for you. Another reason is that there is no guarantee that your ex is as miserable as you are. The final reason is that you will find peace with yourself if you can get past this feeling of scorn. The first reason to try to get over the hatred you feel for an ex is that it is physically unhealthy for you. This hatred that you feel for your ex causes extreme stress and unrest. This can be very bad for your body, as stress, not resolved, is a very harmful hormone that is released throughout your body. Seeds of hate can eat away at your physical body in a manner that is totally unhealthy. Being stressed out over something can make you physically sick. Stress has even been known to contribute to irregular heart beat. Your health is certainly more important than stressing over a past relationship. Another reason to move past hatred you are feeling is that your misery may be one-sided. If you are hung up on your ex and are obsessing over your hatred of him or her everyday, you may be the only one suffering. The case may be that your ex has moved on completely and doesn’t even think about your relationship anymore. While you are being eaten up by a caustic emotion, the person who is the object of your hate is not even fazed. That is pretty unfair when you think about it. The final reason to get over your hatred for someone you used to date, besides your physical health is your emotional health. Just as your physical health can be affected and deteriorate, your emotional health can do much the same thing. Hatred is an emotion that can torment the person experiencing it. You might begin to become reclusive, and you might withdraw from your normal routines, and friends. This is definitely not emotionally healthy for you. Overall, it is just not a good idea to let anger and hatred get the best of you. There are so many negative effects on your personal life that you should try your best to, if you can’t forgive, forget. Though it won’t be easy like flipping a switch, you can talk yourself out of a negative mood and into a positive mood if you repeat the effort every single day. Remind yourself that you are a great person and that, when you are ready, someone else will be very lucky to be in a relationship with you. Keep your eyes focused on the future instead of the past, and you will find the inner strength to get you over your hate, and get on with your life after a bitter break up.

         
    He said she said

     

    : The Relationship Triangle Most people get involved in a relationship for the right reasons and leave a relationship for the wrong reasons. In fact, most of us have been guilty of it at one time or another and of being a complete spaz demanding we get our way in the relationship. Remember the movie He Said, She Said? A constant power struggle ensues when you make the relationship all about you. So why do we do it? I believe the reason this happens is that we make unhealthy relationship choices. In our deepest inner desires, we naturally long for companionship and love in our lives. In our haste, we choose unwisely and compromise for that "next person" that comes along to satisfy that longing. In this context, it's easy to bend and flex because in the beginning we still don't know that person. Then as we do get to know them, we find ourselves making more compromises because we don't have the guts to fess up to our mistakes and all sorts of other irrational reasons rambling through our head to avoid hurting someone else. Bad move, fess up. In our relationship goals, we need to be much more aware of ourselves, our habits, our desires, our likes and dislikes. The focus should not be on the person, the focus should be on the relationship. Even in the dating context - it could lead to something serious - we should focus on the relationship goals. What is it you want in a relationship? Who are you in a relationship? What do you need from the relationship? And, and, and... take stock and stay open to change, improvements, discovery and more. When you can answer these questions more clearly and you find yourself able to understand what you can give to the relationship, you choose your partners more wisely. You also communicate more openly and honestly because it is less about you and more about the relationship. The other person can listen better because it is more about the relationship and less about them. And adjustments can be made so much more smoothly from both sides when we communicate on the relationship. So look at it like a triangle. You on one side, your partner on the other. Instead of eyeballing and measuring each other, look to the peak - the Relationship. That's your goal, that's your partners goal, and you look only at yourself in comparison to the relationship goals. You're teammates, you see the goal, and now you can work more effectively together. It's not about me, it's about the relationship. Can I give that to achieve this in the relationship? Do I want that? Yes, then let's do it.

         
    Healing hopeless relationships

     

    "My husband and I were planning our divorce. Now we're planning our reconciliation." "For years, my teenage son and I were at odds with each other. At times he was abusive toward me. Now we are building a great friendship based on mutual respect and appreciation." "My middle daughter and I were never close. She harbored deep (and justified) resentment toward me. Now she phones me almost every day and shares with me her joys and challenges as a young mom. I LOVE our new relationship!" "For the first time in my life, I have a loving relationship with myself. I am living as my authentic self on a daily basis and it feels good!" What do these four people have in common? To what do they ALL attribute the successful healing of these seemingly hopeless relationships? The Law of Attraction! It's really quite amazing when you consider that three of these testimonials came from people who have been deliberately applying the Law of Attraction for less than a year. What is it about the Law of Attraction (LOA) that produces such a wonderful benefit in a gentle natural way? Four aspects of LOA come to my mind as being significant in changing the way we relate to others: Self-appreciation which translates into appreciation of others, looking for new perspectives on negative events, expecting people to respond differently to us when we have shifted our vibration and building a community of like-minded friends. SELF-APPRECIATION The Law of Attraction teaches us to discover who we truly are-based on what we love or enjoy. As we sort through stuff we've tolerated for years, looking for things we enjoy-then fully appreciating the way we ARE-we find ourselves becoming less defensive, less judgmental, kinder, gentler and more accepting of all that is. I remember when a strong creative part of me wanted expression. Of course, after years of suppression, this expression had to be BIG-like renovating the main bathroom! I had devalued, depreciated and discounted the creative aspect of my personality for a long time and now it was reasserting itself. I threw my whole being into that renovation, calling upon all my creative energy, natural talent, eye for color, design, balance and financial resources. The result was a beautiful bathroom-spa. The finished product was so lovely it was used in a commercial-all because I chose to honor my true self. True love and appreciation begins with self-appreciation, self-love and self-care. We can only love others to the degree that we love and accept ourselves. REFRAMING SITUATIONS The more we notice how our feelings attract similar events, the more motivated we become in finding new perspectives on events that don't feel good. I am fully convinced that I can CHOOSE a new perspective and in so doing, shift a negative situation into a very healthy and positive one. In 2003-2005, I applied for child support for my mentally handicapped daughter. The judge denied my request, declaring Sarah to be an adult; citing her age, then 24, and the fact she lives on her own. My initial reaction was one of surprise and fear around how I could continue to support her financially. I knew enough to be cautious about how I continued to think about this event, so I asked my Inner Being for the highest vibrating thoughts on this subject. When I broke the news to Sarah (who understood all that was going on), I told her, "The judge said, 'No child support.'" I paused to let that sink in; then I followed up with a cheerful, "Congratulations! You are now legally an adult!" A few days later, Sarah was signing up for a bowling league and when she was asked her age, she was told, "You have to sign up with the adult league. You're too old for the junior league." She smiled at me and said, "I really AM an adult!" It was a milestone for both of us. As we grow in cooperation with the Law of Attraction we learn how to reframe negative situations faster and more easily. After a while it becomes second nature to reframe something that doesn't feel good. In this way, we practice kindness toward ourselves and others. Resentment and bitterness are not allowed to contaminate our vibration. EXPECTING GOOD RESPONSES Eventually we begin to trust that when we meet someone with our highest vibration and expect them to respond harmoniously, they DO! While we cannot 'make' anyone respond to us in ways that feel good to us, we can offer them the opportunity to make a good response. If we are looking for the good in them-looking for their very best and kindest response-they will find it easier to show us that side of their personality. It's like our high vibration calls forth the best in the other person. BUILDING A COMMUNITY OF LIKE-MINDED FRIENDS The four people quoted at the beginning of this article have been experiencing rapid transformation of their lives and businesses because they have been together in the Certified Law of Attraction Practitioner's course ( lawofattractiontrainingcenter). It's hard to change your mind-set and focus in life when you feel like you are alone in the process. Sometimes you need a coach to walk beside you and sometimes you need a group of people to grow and change with. The Certified LOA Practitioner's course provides you with 4-6 months of stimulating TeleClasses (classes held over the telephone) with other people who are discovering the Law of Attraction and what it means to LIVE the Law of Attraction in their daily life. The nice thing about the practitioner's course is that you never have to leave that community. During the final practicum, you become part of the Master Mind group which meets weekly to share insights and challenges, while giving and receiving coaching from each other. Are you ready? Are you really ready for a new way of living that is full of love, acceptance and grace? The Certified LOA Practitioner's course prepares you for a joyful and fulfilling career based on what you love to do, and it can transform areas of your life you thought were 'hopeless.' Rebecca Hanson is a Master Law of Attraction Coach. Thousands of people have enjoyed her talks or articles about real-life experiences and how she found the "nugget of truth" in every situation. Now she has such a deep grasp of how faith, beliefs and thinking work that she is able to lift others to a higher level, very quickly. You can contact Rebecca at [email protected] or on her website at youcanhaveitall and sign up for her free “Museletter”. Rebecca has also written a book called, “Law of Attraction for Business: How to create a business or attract a job you LOVE!” To find out more about this book and other information check out lawofattractionresources/

         
    Heiraten in las vegas aber wie

     

    Der Mythos der Blitz Hochzeiten in Las Vegas ist nicht etwa eine Legende, sonder die wahre Wirklichkeit. Immer wieder hцrt man aus den Nachrichten Stars und Prominent, die unter ihren Rausch (oder auch nicht) eine Blitzhochzeit vollzogen. Meistens hielten diese Hochzeiten nur wenige Tage oder gar Stunden. Solche Blitzhochzeit werden gerne als Skandalцs in den Medien wiedergegeben. Doch nicht nur Prominente heiraten "gerne" in den kleinen Kapellen von Las Vegas. Viele Menschen Weltweit reisen nach Las Vegas, um sich in dieser Oase der Glьcksspiele, der Hochzeiten und Amьsements sich zu vermдhlen. Doch wie kommt es, dass so viele Menschen gerne in Las Vegas heiraten? Zu einem auf Grund der lockeren Hochzeitsgesetzten. Las Vegas befindet sich im Staat Nevada, wo die Gesetze zur EheschlieЯung auЯerordentlich unkompliziert sind. Auch ist der Scheidungsprozess oftmals viel einfacher in Las Vegas als in anderen Staaten. Viele Menschen kommen oftmals von weit weg um sich in Las Vegas sich scheiden zulassen. Die liberalen Gesetzten lassen vereinfachen das Leben vieler unglьcklich oder ungewollt Ehepaare. Las Vegas hat aus ihren Hochzeitskappelen eine Industrie kreiert. Ein jede Braut und Brдutigam kann finden was er will und heiraten auf seiner Art und Weise. In Las Vegas gibt es Hochzeiten fьr viel Geld aber auch fьr wenig Geld. Die schrдgsten und unglaublichsten Hochzeiten kann man immer wieder in Las Vegas wiederfinden. Oftmals wird ein Ehepaar unter ein bestimmtes Thema heiraten. Sei es mit Elvis Presley, in den Lьften Las Vegas oder einfach in der Natur, in Las Vegas ist fьr allen Geschmack was dabei! Doch wie genau heiratete man in Las Vegas, was braucht man und mit was muss man rechnen, wenn man in Las Vegas heiraten will? Hier eine Liste von Sachen, die man benцtigt bzw. nicht benцtigt, um in Las Vegas heiraten zu kцnnen. Wie sieht der Prozess aus und worauf sollte man achten! In Las Vegas ist weder ein Kein Blut-Test erforderlich noch muss man lange warten! Wer Minimum 35 Dollar bereit hдlt sollte keinerlei Probleme haben! Diese Summe Geld sollte man aber am besten Bar haben! Bevor man sich eine Kapelle ausgesucht hat und sich auf dir Hochzeit vorbereitet, muss ein Paar, das heiЯt beide Partien, mit Ausweis beim Marriage License Bureau erscheinen, das Bьro das sich um die Ehe-Lizenzen kьmmert. Das Rathaus ist sieben Tage in der Woche geцffnet, von Montag - Donnerstag 8.00 Uhr bis Mitternacht, Freitag - Sonntag ist 24 Stunden geцffnet (auЯer an Feiertagen), also so ziemlich immer erreichbar! Wer unter 18 Jahre alt ist (16 oder 17) und heiraten will, braucht eine Zustimmung von mindestens einem Elternteil oder Vormundes. Allgemein kцnnen Minderjдhrige, also 16-17 Jдhrige nur heiraten, wenn die Zustimmung durch einen persцnlich anwesenden Elternteil zum Zeitpunkt der Anmeldung fьr die Lizenz erteilt wird oder die Zustimmung in Form einer notariell beglaubigten Urkunde vorliegt, die von einem Elternteil unterzeichnet ist. Diese notariell beglaubigte Urkunde muss das Geburtsdatum des Minderjдhrigen enthalten, die Erziehungsberechtigung der zustimmenden Partei darlegen und in englischer Sprache abgefasst sein. Erwachsene ьber 18 Jahren unter 21 Jahre brauchen zwar keine Zustimmung mehr, mьssen aber einen gьltigen Altersnachweis mit sich tragen. Bei der Trauerung selber braucht das Paar mindestens einen weiteren Zeugen neben der Person, die die Zeremonie durchfьhrt. Auf Wunsch kann die Zeremonie vor Ort mit deutscher Ьbersetzung durchgefьhrt werden. Wer also heiraten will, hat nicht viel zu tun! Las Vegas ist nicht nur ein Metropole der Glьcksspiele , sonder macht ebenfalls einfaches und billiges heiraten mцglich!

         
     
         
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