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    How to turn a friend into a lover

     

    When two people are in a relationship, they need to share a certain level of compatibility that extends beyond the bedroom. Besides getting along as lovers, they need to be friends, in order to share each other's joy and sorrow and be on the same wavelength, mentally and emotionally. Friends, who are close to each other, tend to have that kind of emotional and mental connection, which is why the friendship is shared in the first place. Imagine if you could find that kind of compatibility in a lover as well! Read on for tips how to turn a friend into a lover: Remind them of what they like If you have a male friend, who have hinted in the past about what he likes in you - certain physical or emotional characterstics that you possess - learn to highlight those features. Just don't go overboard. Remember, that when you were friends, how you looked or felt didn't matter because he would love you nonetheless. But, when it comes to love, you need to present yourself in a way that will make him notice. Change the talk When people are friends they tend to talk about everything under the sun, from common interests or each other's love interests! If you want this person to relate to you on a more intimate level as well. You could try flirting verbally. Create the ambience Instead of going with him to a ususal hangout like a movie or a coffee shop, you could change the venue to a more private and romantic setting. Change your attitude If this person is already your friend, he will know how you behave around someone you have more than platonic feelings for. The next time you meet him, start behaving with them the way you would around someone you like. Body language This is one of the most powerful tools to hint to people how you feel. The body language that two friends share is very different. All you have to do is change the way you touch your friend and if he has half a brain, he'll get the hint. All The Best!

         
    How to upload photos that will create interest

     

    So, you've got a great profile but, so far, no one seems interested. You've tried everything: enticing headlines, fun information about yourself, everything...except a photo. Did you know that members with profile pictures are 7 times more likely to receive a message? A picture really is worth a thousand words. Let's begin: there are two ways to upload the picture. If you know the name of your photo, you can simply type it in the box. If you don't know the name, however, don't despair. Click Browse? and search through your files until you find what you want. Click Open? and that should send the photo to your management site. Now, click Upload?. Your picture should, successfully, be on your profile. There is much more to this, however, than simply loading the picture. Here are some universally helpful hints that'll help you decide which photo you should use: If it's a profile picture, make sure it clearly shows your face. A blurry photo or one that only shows you in the background is not effective”showcase yourself! If you want to send a specific message about yourself, then chose a picture that matches that message. For example, if you say you are a funny individual but then select a photo of you frowning, it sends mixed messages--this can turn potential suitors away. Don't get lost in the crowd; never use photos with a large number of people in them. This can confuse anyone looking at your profile. Try to find pictures that only display you or, at most, a very small group of people that you can easily be seen in. Rotate your photos every few weeks; this will not only keep your profile interesting but you can also garner attention from people who had overlooked you before. Use recent photos. A picture of you from college is fine....but only if you're still that age. Most importantly, smile! Now, once you've selected that perfect picture, you might need to scan it. Here are a few tips that can help this process run smoothly: When scanning your image, make sure you do a preview scan first. This will help the scanner locate the image and ensure you only copy the picture - not the entire scanner bed. Photocopies often do not scan very well. If you have a scanner, it is best to scan the original image to achieve best quality. You might want to consider, once the image is on your computer, using the Cropping Tool. Cropping is an excellent way to remove unnecessary and distracting elements from your picture. After you have selected and scanned a photo, you can upload it onto your profile; however, there are certain guidelines to be remembered before you post a picture. They are as follows: The picture must be of you; do not try to pass a friend, family member, celebrity, etc off as yourself. The picture cannot contain any contact information; this can be potentially dangerous. Do not include phone numbers, addresses, etc. Do not include sexually graphic pictures; this rule covers touching yourself or others in a sexual way (this includes masturbation), sexual intercourse or the use of bodily fluids. Your picture can be rejected if it is copyrighted, unless you have permission from the original artist. Your picture can also be rejected if it is deemed to be offensive, obscene, or violent. The photo can, ultimately, be the most important part of your profile; chose it wisely and see the reactions it gets!

         
    How to use eye contact to create a good impression

     

    Researchers have discovered that one of the most striking differences between people who are socially confident and those who are shy, is that confident people have much more frequent eye contact with their conversational partners. Many shy people never make eye contact at all, tending to look downward or away, instead of looking at their conversation partner’s face. Most North Americans, especially Caucasians, prefer to have a lot of eye contact when they are talking with someone. When a person doesn't make eye contact with them, North Americans tend to assume that person is hiding something. When you are speaking with someone who is from a culture that prefers a lot of eye contact, be sure to keep looking at that person frequently while you are talking, even while you are wondering what to say next. You don’t need to use a piercing stare, a friendly gaze will do. If it really bothers you to look directly into another person’s eyes, you can look at the person’s face without focusing solely on the eyes. If you gaze generally at the eyebrow area or the bridge of the nose, this is close enough to the eye region that you will appear to be looking at the person’s eyes. You may find that it eases your own discomfort if you let your vision go slightly out of focus. Whenever you are in conversation with someone, keep the majority of your focus on the other person. If you glance around the room too much, or look too frequently at other people, your conversation partner may assume that you are bored, or that you are looking around for someone else you would rather talk with. If you have difficulty knowing exactly how to make eye contact, you can benefit from practicing in front of a mirror, or with another person. While some people have difficulty maintaining eye contact during conversations, others have the opposite problem. They stare too intently into other people’s eyes when they are talking to them, often making their conversation partners feel very uncomfortable. It can be very unpleasant to be on the receiving end of an intense stare, particularly at close range. In many animals, the use of staring is part of a power struggle to determine which animal is dominant over the other. In humans too, a struggle for dominance over another can often be signaled by a staring contest. Avoid intense, prolonged staring into another person’s eyes, except in very rare situations. Although some people use staring intently as a deliberate tactic to intimidate others, not all people who stare piercingly at others mean it as an act of aggression or dominance. Some people who stare very intently into the eyes of others are quite unaware of the negative impression they are creating. If it has been your habit to stare intently into the eyes of other people without looking away, you may have been making your conversation partners very uncomfortable. You can lighten the impression you are making by smiling more often, nodding, and by gazing at the entire face as well as the eyes. In addition, you can frequently glance away for brief periods. Although most North Americans like to have a lot of eye contact with their conversational partner, this is not true of all people. If you have grown up in a cultural group that expects eye contact, it can be a shock to find out that eye contact is not always welcomed. There are many countries in the world where looking someone in the eye is considered to be disrespectful and an invasion of privacy. Even within North America, there are some cultural groups that prefer not to make very much eye contact. In many cultures around the world, averting your eyes and keeping them lowered is considered the polite, desirable thing to do. In North America, people of African American and First Nations origin usually prefer to make far less eye contact than Caucasians do. If you are dealing with someone who has different cultural practices than what you are used to, make an effort to be sensitive to the expectations of the other person if you want to have a smooth relationship.

         
    How to use the power of a smile

     

    Have you ever noticed how the word “smile” assumes the position of a smile on your face right after it has been pronounced? The same is true with a grin or a grouch. Much of the words in the English language or perhaps in other languages of the world assume the facial expressions of the person pronouncing them. Perhaps this is how words came into existence. What kind of difference can a smile make? In spite of its simplicity and spontaneity, a smile can make all the difference. It creates an atmosphere. Admittedly, a frown can likewise create an atmosphere. The question now is this: “Which is more preferable?” An atmosphere of dissent brought about by frowning can bring conflict and unfriendliness, while a smile can create unity and camaraderie. A smile is contagious. When you project a smile, the other person can’t help but smile back at you. Throw a smile to a baby, and there’s a big chance the baby will smile back at you. Because of your smile, the baby starts to be playful at you even if you are a stranger to him. When a baby starts to be playful, you just can’t resist playing with him. Then he begins to laugh and giggle. You make the baby happy; you make yourself happy too. And to think all these started with a simple smile. If all these take place in a doctor’s office, chances are that you will forget why you are there in the first place. A smile can erase the pain, especially emotional and psychological pain. If you want to make a good impression, smiling is your best option. You can sport all those expensive things on your body. You may be rich and famous. But if you sport a sour face, you’ll get the same treatment in return, as sour as vinegar. A smile is worth more than words. A smile is a universal language expressed in the form of a gesture that greets and welcomes other people. When someone smiles at you, especially at a time you least expect it, you will get overwhelmed and you will return the favor. This is best exemplified during Christmas time. Of course, Christmas is the time and season of smiles. But Christmas is also the time you get too busy attending to parties and shopping that you get so tired you feel you can’t smile anymore. However, when you come across somebody who smiles at you despite your weariness, you can't help but smile back. Try walking into a shop where a frown from the owner awaits you. Before you know it, you are heading back to the door where you came from. It’s as if your legs have a mind of their own. This is the reason why it is important that your sales people (if you are in the sales business) wear smiles on their faces all the time. This is the best way to attract more customers. Make smiling the trademark of your business. Show it in your company logo and watch your business grow, just like all the other businesses using it. A smile has no monetary value yet it is priceless. No amount of money can buy you one. It’s given away for free. You neither have to beg, steal, or borrow it. A smile comes naturally from the heart, resulting to harmony at home and prosperity for business. A smile binds and maintains friendship. Without smiles, any friendship is unimaginable. “But how can you smile when you are overwhelmed with problems of the heart, health, finances, and peace of mind?” Yes, it’s difficult; but would sulking help? Will a frown take away the pain and rid the problems that keep pushing you down to more problems, illness, poverty, and a confused mind? The answer is obvious. Without a shadow of a doubt, a smile will clear the clouds and bring in sunshine to your life. A smile is like a jewel worn on the face. It is the gateway to your personality. Wear a smile every minute and hour of the day, and you won’t need anything else.

         
    How to visit a new mom and have her love you afterwards

     

    Going to visit a new Mother and her tiny baby? As a Mom who has been there 4 times, I've had great and not-so-great experiences when friends came to visit postpartum. Make your visit a blessing instead of a drudgery with these tips. 1) Call beforehand and ask what you can bring her to eat A new Mom, especially if she's breastfeeding, is hungry! Don't ask if she wants you to bring her anything. Most new Moms in our culture are unlikely to ask for help. Tell her that you ARE bringing her lunch and would she prefer Italian or Chinese? And make sure, if you're preparing something, that it's not loaded with empty carbs. New Moms have enough trouble going to the bathroom in those postpartum days! She needs good nutrition, not junk. 2) When you arrive, don't smell like a bouquet on overdrive Newborn babies have sensitive skin. Some of them break out when they are held by someone with a lot of synthetic perfume on. When you go visit a new baby, don't smell like you've been attacked by Chanel No. 5. Skip the perfume. You're not on a date, ok? 3) Wash your hands New Moms are particular about their babies, and neither she nor her newborn needs your germs. Wash your hands first and then ask if you may hold the newborn. And for goodness sakes, leave a sneezing, snotty nosed child at home! 4) Don't hog the baby The new Mother's job is to rest and bond with her baby. Don't grab the baby and try to jolly her out of her cries when she obviously wants her Momma back. Hold the new baby briefly, perhaps while Mom uses the bathroom or cuddles her toddler, then give baby back. Now. 5) Do something useful Ask Mom if you can watch her older child for a half hour so she can nap with the baby. Ask if you can load the dishwasher, or fold a load of laundry. Insist. Don't say "Is there anything I can do?". Say "What can I do?" At the very least, bring paper plates and disposable flatware. She may have forgotten to buy that, but it sure makes those postpartum days a little easier. 6) Keep your visit brief Mom is tired, recuperating from childbirth and above all needs to rest and learn about her new baby. Counting fingers and toes, cooing, crying, breastfeeding and changing diapers takes all day! A new Mom doesn't need to play hostess. Don't stay more than about 15 minutes unless you're her best friend or close relative, and even then, keep it very brief. If you remember these tips, the new Mom will really appreciate you, and she'll return the favor the next time you have a baby!

         
    How well do you know your own eyes

     

    A quote The power of a glance has been so much abused in love stories that it has become to be disbelieved in. Few people dare now say that two beings have fallen in love because they have looked at each other. Yet in this way that love begins and in this way only. The rest is only the rest, and comes afterwards. Nothing is more real than these great shocks, which two souls give each other in exchanging this spark. Overview Our eyes give away our innermost secrets. They can communicate attraction and desire and even over distance we can sense when some one is watching us. But have you ever experienced love at first sight? Opinion differ as to the reliability and longevity of such instantaneous attraction, yet it is a phenomenon which seems to strike at the very heart of many and which is celebrated in folklore, mythology and love songs. In fact, as infants, we express many our needs and desires exclusively through eyes. This facility is something we never lose. The eye skills we learn at this early stage in our lives are critical in establishing and maintaining bonds with other people. Just think about these descriptive phrases: smoldering eyes; icy stare; looking daggers; if looks could kill you; shifty eyes; the green eyed monster; eyes of an angel; piercing blue eyes; sheep’s eyes; bedroom eyes; giving someone the evil eye or the glad eye. They always convey a deep-rooted message or two. The science of eyes The eyes are the most important tools in the successful use and understanding of sexual non-verbal communication. They are highly attuned ultra-sensitive sensory organs, shown by psychologists to be 18 times more sensitive than our ears, as measured by the relative size of the optic and cochlear nerves. They are vital both as receptors of non-verbal sexual signals, and as sensual communicators, capable of transmitting intimate covert and overt messages straight into the consciousness of other people. The secrets and a peep into eyes Let’s examine some of the psychological secrets that researches have discovered have discovered about the eyes. Experts in this field tell us that the larger the pupil size the more interested we are in what we are looking at, and that this is also a direct indicator of sexual interest and arousal. Research further confirms that men found photographs of women more attractive when the pupils are dilated, likewise, women experience the same reaction. Setting a romantic mood by turning down the lights partly achieves its success through the resultant pupil dilation, which makes us appear simultaneously attractive and more turned-on. It has exactly the same effect on our companion. This is why candle light dinners are synonymous with romance – candlelight is not only flattering to skin color and texture, it encourages and shows off our pupil dilation to best effect. The magic of eyes Stating & Gazing Let’s analyze two important words associated with our eyes. STARING & GAZING. They are not at all the same thing. One is attacking and the other Inviting. A stare is like shooting invisible arrows from your eyes into the eyes of the person on the receiving end, leaving them cold and defensive or feeling invaded. A gaze, however, welcomes a person into our line of sight, and into our eyes. The person upon whom we gaze feels great warmth. Women generally gaze more than men. This many be because they are often more attentive listeners. Women find the eyes of men who gaze well attractive, the more so because many men are unskilled at this. Blinks & Winks Every time we blink we re-moisturize the surface. The rate at which we blink has a profound unconscious effect on any one looking at or into our eyes. Just think for a minute of the excitement and tension (and often arousal) that takes place in when you play the ‘stating game’. To induce a romantic feel, however, by all means blink. If some one looks at us eye-to-eye and is very attracted to us, not only will that person’s pupil size increase, so will their blink rate. You can increase the blink rate of the person to whom you are talking by blinking more yourself; if the person likes you he or she will unconsciously try to match your blink rate to keep in synchrony with you. This will in turn make you both feel attracted to each other. The wink proper is a fantastically powerful sexual signal when it is employed by women, but is often something of a turn-off when used by men. Men can use winks to send a clear message of sexual intent towards a woman, but they are best delivered subtlety. The ‘quieter’ the wink, the more pleasing it is to receive. Delivered in conjunction with a gentle smile it can be devastating. Tip of the day One of the most erotic ways to touch someone early in an intimate encounter is to give them a ‘butterfly kiss’. Now what is a ‘butterfly kiss”? This is when you gently caress the cheek or may be the nose of the other person with the tips of the eyelashes of one eye. Try it now on the palm of your hand if you’ve never tried it before. It’s a lovely, soft, tickling feeling. P. S. Your eyes are your most precious assets in the armory of signals available to you when applying the secrets of attraction, so use them wisely.

         
    How well is your relationship going

     

    Are you in the mood for love? Are you ready to put your love to the test? Good news to all of you out there: PredictLove is online! Predictlove is the only website where you will find an array of psychological tests to quick quizzes to not only find out about your relationship or your loved one but also about yourself. With some 3,000 personality tests in use today, we are certainly the most analyzed creatures on earth. We are always interested in knowing what makes us tick. And the only subject that can be closer to our heart than ourselves is our loved one. By taking the tests and quick quizzes found on PredictLove, you will not only discover the inner you, learn about your love style and improve your dating life but also will find out how to get what you want out of life. With new tests and quizzes added every day, PredictLove will be a part of your daily life. Once subscribed, you will also be able to comment on the tests and rate them. Membership is free and all members are free to take the tests over and over again. You will explore life and love with this fabulous website...

         
    Hypnosis 5 principles for a maintaining a successful relationship

     

    Why is it that so many relationships, which start off with such energy and enthusiasm, seem to lose their glitter just a few weeks down the road? Studies have shown that there are five basic principles, which govern the quality of a relationship in the long run: Principle #1: Knowledge of the other person’s preferences How does your husband or wife like to be told that you love him or her? How would you like to be told that your lover or spouse loves you. Would you like to touched in a certain way, or would you like to be embraced in a certain way, or would you like love to be expressed in words, or would you like to be looked in the eyes in a certain way? Love is a very delicate affair, and the surest way of sabotaging your relationship is to be aloof of the others person’s preferences. Over the months and years, most people realize, what is it that makes their lover express love. But, some don’t and this can be fatal for the relationship. If you think you haven’t yet discovered your partner’s preferences, this is the first thing you should do. Often called the “Love Strategy,” you must make a conscious effort to discover it, and meet it on a consistent basis. Principle #2: Relationship is a place to give, not take Often, people approach a relationship as a place to solve their problems. While a relationship could definitely solve problems, this approach tends to disempower both the people involved in it. If you have not been cuddled or pampered as a child, and use a relationship as a place to receive such treatment, you are disempowering yourself of your ability to take any initiative, because you are constantly looking for your partner to treat you in a certain way. Instead, what one should do in such a case is, concentrate on giving something into the relationship. Such contribution of love and affection will automatically elicit the kind of treatment you desire. Principle #3: Learn to communicate your problems with your partner Dr. Barbara De Angelis, in her best selling book, “How to Make Love All the Time,” identifies four stages in a relationship that can kill it. And, by identifying it, one can immediately intervene and eliminate the problems before they become unmanageably large. Phase 1: Resistance This is the first phase of challenges in a relationship. It occurs when you take exception of something your partner said or did which you did not like. Maybe, it was a joke, which you didn’t find very tasteful, or a statement that offended you, or something else, which you wished hadn’t happened. Of course, resistance is bound to happen in a relationship between two human beings, but the secret is to talk it over, and settle it before it reaches the second phase. Phase 2: Resentment Resistance, if not handled properly, can lead to resentment. Now, your irritation with your partner grows into anger, and a communication barrier is erected between you and him/her. In this phase, you begin to avoid your partner, and the intimacy that you both enjoyed is virtually over. Phase 3: Rejection If resistance is not eased, or if you and your partner do not talk the matter over, you may move into the third phase: rejection. This is the beginning of the physical separation from your partner. Coupled with emotional separation, in this phase, you begin to find everything about your partner annoying and irritating. Phase 4: Repression This is the most dangerous phase of the demise of your relationship. In this phase, you stop communicating with your partner altogether. There is an emotional numbness between the two of you. Slowly, you just become a roommate of your partner, not concerned of what he or she is doing or feeling. So, what is the way to avoid this dangerous trap? Dr. De Angelis says, it’s simple: Talk. Talking one’s problems, one’s concerns and one’s likes and dislikes is the only way to ensure smooth sailing. Adequate and meaningful communication is an essential component of any relationship. Principle #4: Never threaten your relationship A lot of couples have the habit of saying things like, “You do that, and I am leaving you.” This can be disastrous, because, although most of the time such a statement is not supposed to be taken very seriously, but what if one day, your spouse said, “Go ahead and leave. I will do things my way.” If such a case arises, one’s ego may often force him or her to follow up on their threat (of leaving), and that is the end of the relationship. See, the point is that no matter what situation arises, there is no justification for threatening your relationship if you want it to last a lifetime. Principle #5: Strive to constantly add glitter to your relationship Just like any other emotion, a relationship also needs to be constantly propped up. You need to constantly excite your partner, and ignite his or her desire for you. One way to reinforce your feelings of connection and renew your feelings of intimacy and attraction, is to constantly ask questions that would make your partner express love; something like, “How did I get so lucky to have you in my life?” Try to surprise each other. Do outrageous things, like arranging an outing at a place where your partner would have never even imagined. Express love in an out-of-the-way manner, and have fun doing it.

         
    Hypnotherapy for relationships improving the quality of life

     

    Human beings are social creatures; in our day to day lives we are constantly meeting and interacting with people, and creating relationships with them. Fathers, mother, sibling, friend, lover, co-worker, subordinate – These are just a few examples of relationships which are common to people across the globe. While some of us are really good with maintaining these relationships, others are want for improvement. It is a fact that not all our relationships can be called successful, some might be disconcerting and dissatisfying while yet others could be downright disastrous. We all realize at some point in time that we need to review our own attitudes towards our relationships; while we might start out with noble intentions of bringing about positive change, we might not always succeed. An external intervention, something which can guide you through the trials and tribulations of a relationship can help a great deal. Hypnotherapy for relationships is one such intervention, and it has proven to be really effective time and time again. Relationships are what our lives are made of, and happy relationships make for a happy and satisfied life. But this satisfaction eludes us frequently when we fail to carry through a relationship. Possessiveness, insecurity, communication barriers, ego hassles, overdependence, and infidelity are some of the problems which can arise in the relationships we share with other people. How could hypnotherapy for relationships help you address these issues? It all starts with a simple thought. By realizing that there is room for improvement in your relationship, you have already taken the first step towards making it better. Hypnotherapy for relationships basically targets the way you think, and your perception of other people. It works towards redesigning your attitude, because it is your attitude towards people that makes the most amount of difference. Once you have started work on your subconscious mind, through the route of hypnotherapy for relationships, you will find yourself to become calmer and relaxed. Hypnotherapy teaches you to be more stable in your responses, as it smoothens out the rough edges from your reactions. Let’s say that you chose hypnotherapy for relationships to deal with the problem of insecurity in your relationship; through auto suggestions to your subconscious mind, hypnotherapy will work towards increasing your confidence and changing your self image. It will also work upon your phobias and fear, and replace it with positive thinking. Once you start experiencing a change in yourself, you will notice that your partner/companion is also reacting to you in a more positive fashion. This is because you have altered your perspective, and now have the ability to empathize with the other person; it also means that hypnotherapy has helped you in becoming more relaxed. Your partner can sense this, and subconsciously will react to this change in a favorable manner. Hypnotherapy for relationships can help you communicate better, and effective communication is the key to any successful relationship, isn’t it?

         
    I love you

     

    I love you! – By Joseph Ghabi The famous three words we never hear enough of in our life. Throughout our life span we keep looking, waiting and hoping for something to take us, or lead us, to our true love. Have you ever wondered where we can find love? What really is this word “Love” that we keep repeating to that someone special in our lives? How many times do you tell your partner “I love you”? Do you really mean it, or do you just like to hear yourself speak? Or, is it just being said because it is part of the vocabulary that your partner likes to hear, or that helps make them feel secure about themselves. So what’s love in the first place? What does love mean to you? Where can we find it? Before looking for answers, we need to establish things ourselves and understand the meaning of the word “LOVE”. Love, in my point of view, is a flow of energy between two people that can bring awareness of their existence on this plane together, and this helps their relationship, and the harmony between them, to grow. If love is a flow of energy, basically it is not costing you anything so why do we hold ourselves back from truly sharing that love with someone else. Vulnerability, security, or maybe fears prevent us, but how hard are we really trying to achieve “true love”? Love is already in your own backyard and we seem to have a hard time accepting this. To be able to accept love we need to learn how to give it in the first place. Love already exists in our “being” as humans share the most precious, intimate and secret jewel that is in our soul, our growth, and our spirit. How much do you love yourself, or accept yourself for who you are? I am not introducing this question in an egoistic or selfish way. The amount of love you attract is really a reflection of the amount you give to others. We mirror what is already in us. You cannot get love from what you don’t have in yourself in the first place. The amount of time and effort you are willing to put into accepting, or inviting, true love to yourself is the same amount you are already accepting or giving to yourself? Are you ready to be in love? Ask yourself this question. Let go of your pride and fears, and invest in yourself. Think about it! Do not allow one bad relationship to hold you back or stop you from investing in love again. Holding yourself back from loving someone is as equal to, or as important as, attracting love to your own life. We always look to receive love from another person but it is the contrary, you hold your happiness in your own hands. So open your heart and a new love will come and approach you. Don’t go too far to look for that true love. Just start searching for it within yourself!!! Sometimes it is hard to love ourselves because of different occurrences that have happened to us. We lose our own self-confidence and self-esteem. What I suggest, to renew your confidence in yourself, is a change of attitude. Appreciate yourself first, for who you are. Love yourself for who you are, and NOT for the way people want you to be, in their image. You are who you are, and if someone does not like you for what you are, then they are not the right one for you. Now again comes the question - do you really mean it when you say to someone that you love him or her? Of course in my opinion, you need to distinguish between real love and infatuation. A person that showers his or her partner with material things or gifts usually has two motives. First, he or she is substituting one thing they can’t offer to their partner (love) and second he or she is hiding something from their partner (finding love somewhere else). Where am I going with this, just to say that love has no value attached to it? Either you give love from your soul or you don’t. Let’s just stop kidding ourselves by living a fancy unreal life. Love has no monetary value attached to it otherwise it would not be love. Love is a flow of energy so how can we place a price on it. Until you find true love in your own heart, embrace every moment and enjoy your exploration of life and what it can bring to you. Remember, love someone for who they are and not for the way you want them to be. Appreciate them as human souls. Happy discovery!! Copyright © Joseph Ghabi freespiritcentre. info

         
    I m okay you re not so hot the roots of prejudice

     

    When a dream startles us awake, it demands our attention. I opened the door to find an attractive Pakistani woman on my doorstep. She asked to come in to borrow a cake pan. I let her in and told her to look in the cupboards as I was fixing coffee for my family and preoccupied. My parents were visiting for the first time; my sister and her new husband were also there. I was anxious to get the coffee started when the woman asked if I had a certain type of cake pan. I did not and told her she could go to the store nearby and probably find one. She resisted this idea and suggested that I could use a pan like that; why don't I buy one? I was incensed. In my mind, I had let this woman into my home, offered to loan her what items I had to make her stupid cake and then she had the nerve to suggest I buy the cake pan that she needed. I forced her bodily from my home. In the light of day, this dream (like so many) seems stupid. But someone once advised that in order to unearth the cause of a dream, we must dissect the root of its emotion. I awoke enraged. What was the nature of this extreme reaction? I began tentatively to view the experience from the woman's perspective. Could it be that she wanted me to have the cake pan so that I might bake a cake for my family? Could it be that she wanted to share the joy of what if means to give to others? Was the cake a metaphor for the sweetness in life that I refused to partake? I do not know the Pakistani culture, but I recalled an experience I had with some Armenian friends many years ago. They too offered me cake which I did not eat. Later a friend told me that this was a great insult. They did not show it, so I did not know, but in my righteous refusal of calories, I missed an opportunity for friendship. I wonder how often we reject people and cultures because of our limited worldview? Many years ago, when my son was a newborn, my husband needed to travel out of state. He didn't want to the two of us to stay at home alone and insisted we join him for the 1500 mile car trip. I was too young to argue and was miserable the whole time. All I wanted was sleep. A month later, after my six-week maternity leave was over and I had returned to work, he bought tickets to Tahiti for my birthday. Flying halfway across the world with an infant at home was not my idea of a vacation. I returned exhausted and sick with strep throat. For years I harbored anger at his insensitivity and mentally criticized every gift he offered. In the light of my dream, I see his behavior more clearly. It's simple really: He wanted to protect his family and to give to the woman he loved. In an indifferent and self-absorbed world, it is often wise to question a person's motive. But how many opportunities for community and connectedness would we gain if we looked at a person expecting the highest he has to offer?

         
    I m so in love so why am i depressed

     

    “I’ve waited so long for love to come into my life, yet now that it’s here, I’m depressed. I can’t figure this out,” complained Elayne in one of our phone counseling sessions. “Todd is really terrific. He’s all I’ve been wanting in a man – open, caring, and emotionally available. I really think there is something wrong with me.” “When did you start to feel depressed?” I asked. “Well, I think it started last week right after we spent a wonderful weekend together.” “What happened after the weekend?” “It was Sunday evening. We had just come back from an early dinner, and Todd wanted to watch a movie with me on TV. I told him that I wanted to go to the gym because I hadn’t worked out in a few days. He sounded disappointed in not watching the movie with me, so I didn’t go to the gym. I stayed and watched the movie with him because I didn’t want him to feel hurt and rejected.” “And that’s when you started to feel depressed?” “Yes. Can it really be because I didn’t go to the gym?” “Well,” I said, “It’s not exactly because you didn’t go to the gym. You probably enjoyed watching the movie with him, right?” “Right! A part of me did want to watch the movie with him, because I do love being with him. That’s why I can’t figure this out.” “Elayne, I think that the problem is that you make Todd’s feelings and needs more important than your feelings and needs. You gave yourself up to Todd out of fear of his upset feelings. I don’t think you would have been depressed if you had decided that you really wanted to watch the movie with Todd more than you wanted to go to the gym. But it doesn’t sound like you took the time to go inside to see what you really wanted. What were you afraid would have happened if you had gone to the gym?” “I was afraid that he would be angry at me and withdraw from me.” “So you were willing to lose yourself rather than risk losing him, is that right?” “Yes, that’s exactly what I did.” “So controlling his feelings and behavior was more important than taking loving care of yourself?” “Yeah, I guess so. I didn’t realize that I was trying to control him by not going to the gym, but I can see that that is exactly what I was doing.” “So, imagine that your feelings and needs are a child within you, and Todd’s feelings and needs are a child within him. If you put aside your child to take care of his child, how is your child going to feel?” “Oh, I see! I feel depressed because I gave myself up and put my child aside to take care of his child! Wow, this relationship stuff is hard! I also feel trapped and resentful, like Todd is somehow not letting me do what I want to do. And as soon as I didn’t go to the gym, which is what I really wanted to do, I didn’t feel very attracted to him.” “Right. And Todd may have been trying to control you with his disappointment. Has he felt rejected and hurt in the past when you didn’t do what he wanted?’ “Yes, he does this sometimes. I hate it when he feels like that. Now I can see that he is trying to control me with his hurt, and I’m trying to control him by giving myself up. I can also see that this is not going to work well.” Elayne decided to talk with Todd about what she had learned. Fortunately, Todd was very open to understanding his own behavior as well as Elayne’s. Elayne made the decision to risk letting go of responsibility for Todd’s feelings and take responsibility for her own feelings and needs. Elayne’s depression quickly vanished as she started to take loving care of herself.

         
    If something shows up 3 times is that a sign that it s right for me

     

    Have you heard yourself or others say: "This has shown up 3 times in my life lately. It must be a sign that it's right for me." First, who decided there is something significant about anything showing up 3 times? You see, when you give your attention, energy and focus to something, the Law of Attraction checks in with you and gives you more of whatever you are placing your attention on. Definition of the Law of Attraction: I attract to myself, whatever I give my focus, attention, or energy to; whether wanted or unwanted. The reason why something shows up in your life the second time, is not because it's right or wrong for you; it's showing up because you gave it attention the first time. When something shows up for a third time, it is because you gave it so much attention the first and second time. You're already attracting negative things in 3's, and in those cases you don't tell yourself: "This must be meant for me because it showed up the third time." Remember--you are accountable for everything that shows up in your life. Let's take a look at the word accountable more closely. There's two words buried within it; one is ABLE and one is ACCOUNT. accountable = able to account for As things show up in your life, whether negative or positive, you are now able to account for why you attracted them, whether wanted or unwanted. Start noticing things today that you are attracting and take ownership by saying: "I'm accountable for attracting these results." If you are getting great results, celebrate them, brag about them, and enjoy telling others that you've received them. In the future, when you attract something negative in your life, briefly recognize that you are able to account for why you attracted that. Spend time getting clear about the way you want it to be-hence, shifting your attention from what you don't want to what you do want.

         
    Improve your relationship 10 ways to fall in love again with your partner

     

    Our romantic relationships have the potential to bring us great happiness but can also be the source of great pain and suffering. At the start of a relationship we fall ‘head over heals’ in love and it seems that our dream has come true. Unfortunately these joyous feelings can fade and then we struggle to feel love for our partner. So how can we re-discover those wonderful feelings that we experienced at the start of the relationships? Here are ten things you can do that will improve your relationship and will allow you to fall in love with your partner all over again! 1. Relationship difficulties may be painful but they represent the best chance you and your partner have to heal your insecurities and build a better relationship. Within each problem is an issue that both of you have, that is driving you apart - try to see problems as opportunities for improving the relationship. The trick is to find out what the emotional issue is at the heart of the problem. 2. Whenever you feel emotional pain in a relationship, resist the temptation to move away from your partner. This is the very time you need each other. Take courage and move towards your partner both physically and emotionally. 3munication about feelings and fears is what heals relationships. Always make this your objective. Try to find out what your partner is feeling. Expressing your own feelings with honesty and sensitivity will encourage your partner to do the same. Remember even bad behaviour is a form of communication! 4. Nobody can make you feeling anything that you are not already feeling subconsciously. It is hidden and unhealed emotional pain that is triggered by your partner’s behaviour. Be willing to gain emotional awareness, take responsibility and heal these insecurities. As Ghandi said – ‘be the change you want to see in the world” – the same applies in our relationships. 5. Appreciate your partner for all their strengths, gifts and beauty - tell them and show them how much you love them. This is what you did when you fell in love with them, and it will work throughout your relationship. There is no reason that the ‘Honeymoon’ stage of a relationship cannot last forever. 6. If you feel let down by your partner or feel that they are not giving you something important in the relationship, give them exactly the thing you are lacking. Almost magically they will then give you the same thing back! 7. Sex can be a beautiful celebration of love in a relationship - this is why we call it making love! Allow sex to move from a purely physical experience to one that is full of shared emotion – pour love into your partner as you have sex and make strong eye contact. If you have a spiritual belief, you can take sex to the highest Tantric level of physical, emotional and spiritual connection, where it feel like you become one with your partner. 8. If you have had a row, apologise for any of your own bad behaviour and recognise that your partner will also be feeling bad. Move towards them, forgive and re-connect as soon as you can. Start the meaningful communication about what lies at the heart of the argument. 9. If you are having really big problems in your relationship and you believe in a higher or spiritual power, then ask for help and guidance. In this way you will find the inspiration to work through the most tragic or painful situations. If you do not have a spiritual or religious belief, ask for help from your higher or intuitive mind. 10. Relationships fail because we allow a distance to appear between us and our partner. What we give in a relationship is what we receive. How much are you unconditionally giving to your partner? Give to your partner without any expectation of receiving and you will soon find that the joy and love returns to the relationship.

         
    Improve your relationships by loving yourself

     

    Many of us, especially women, tend to put others’ needs before our own. We neglect ourselves and eventually resent those who have been on the receiving end of our love and attention. What we fail to realize is the importance of putting ourselves first. No, it is not selfish. In fact, it’s impossible to meet the needs of others effectively without first being balanced in our own lives. Loving yourself will not only prove to be a positive experience, but it will improve your relationships with others as well. If we go through our days neglecting our basic needs, we will become very quickly drained of our energy, too exhausted to spend any time on ourselves. When we realize that our own needs are not being met, we become resentful and ultimately withdraw the help and support we so freely offered to others before. However, by focusing on putting ourselves first, we can regain that lost energy, which will give us endless vitality to direct toward others. Loving and taking better care of yourself is easy if you implement one or more of the simple helpful tips and ideas listed here. When we are happy with the level of attention we are giving ourselves, our energy overflows and we are anxious to help fulfill the needs of those around us. Everyone wins when we learn to love ourselves. Use the following tips to get you started: Live a healthy lifestyle – How can we expect to accomplish great things if we cannot meet life’s most basic needs? Eat healthy by replacing excess sugar and refined foods with whole foods and lots of water. Give your body the ability to effectively burn the fuel you take in by getting daily exercise, thereby increasing your metabolism. Make sure to get plenty of sleep as well, as our minds do not fully function if they haven’t been allowed to properly recharge themselves. Express yourself – One of the best ways to take care of ourselves mentally is by frequently expressing how we feel. This can be done in several ways. Mentally, we can express ourselves on paper. Keeping a personal journal in which you can vent when needed will help keep emotions in check. Creative expression is important too, such as allowing yourself to feel and experience the wide range of emotions in a rented movie, or by working on a hobby that’s close to your heart. Photography and other visual arts are good for this. Remember, expressing ourselves creatively is as important as doing so mentally. Spend some time alone – In order to appreciate ourselves more, we should get to know ourselves better. Some of you may think this will have the reverse effect, but think positively! You would be surprised what becoming introspective will reveal. Discover yourself and learn to love it. Go for a scenic drive. Take a long bath. Surround yourself with music or just quietly meditate. Not only will you appreciate your own company more, but the relaxation will do wonders for your state of mind. Your relationships are sure to improve if others sense your renewed energy and love of life. Pamper yourself - Finally, take the time to treat yourself to something rewarding. Get a massage, a manicure, or tickets to your favorite sporting event. Show yourself you care about your own happiness by creating more of it in your life. By allowing yourself to enjoy the spotlight now and again, you’ll realize the goodness others feel when you are able to help them.

         
     
         
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