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    Love s labour lost

     

    : The fear of rejection or experiencing rejection in love can inhibit many individuals from having complete and fulfilling relationships. There are several reasons why one could fear rejection and opt to be alone. Read on to get an understanding of why an individual develops such a phobia and how to overcome those feelings: THE CAUSES Attachment: One reason why you might fear rejection is when you become very attached to another person. When this happens, people often associate all their joy with that one person. So it is but natural that you are afraid of losing this individual. Very deep attachment could cause fear of loss and rejection. Desire: The more you want a person to approve of you, the more sensitive you become to their likes and dislikes. Often people will do anything to gain approval from the person they desire. This person could be a love interest or even a family member or friend. When you seek so much approval from someone and they are not sensitive to your feelings, it could trigger a sense of feeling rejected. One Love: Many people live life thinking that there is only one true love and when they lose that person, they feel the world has ended. This idea of believing that there is only one person in this world for you can be unhealthy. If you lose that one person who you thought of as a soul mate you might feel rejection and never want to experience such feelings again, thereby missing out on many great opportunities. HOW TO OVERCOME FEAR OF REJECTION To fear rejection is okay and there are ways to deal with the fear. The following are a few ways of overcoming fear of rejection: Follow the self-selecting rule: Be the person you really want and tell others your true inner feelings and thoughts more assertively. Even though you may fear that others may not like who you really are and reject you, that is good. Being open separates those people, who are right for closer relationships from those who are not. If you present yourself honestly and openly from the beginning, you will attract the right kind of people much faster. Most people prefer honesty and the self-love and self-confidence that openness reveals, so you may be more appealing to more people. Don't expect: Another good way to deal with the fear of rejection is to pay attention to your own words and actions rather then somebody else's. Just because you are sensitive to other people's feelings don't expect the same from them. Many times you might be disappointed in another person's reaction to you, but don't take it personally and don't become bitter. Just continue to be yourself and surely enough you will reap the benefits. People friendly: People who fear rejection find it very hard to approach someone they like. Try to increase your levels of confidence and don't approach someone thinking he/she is probably going to say no anyway. Be positive. Then your vibe will also radiate good positive energy which is hard to resist and this could overcome a lot of inhibitions you are facing in going for any other relationship. Romance: Often individuals do not express themselves romantically because they fear what their partner might think. This is especially the case with someone who is afraid of being judged or rejected. If your partner is someone who feels insecure and is afraid of rejection, you need to take matter into your own hands. Make your partner understand that he or she has nothing to fear and plan a romantic evening. A candle-lit dinner is the surest way to express your concern.

         
    Love test are you getting attracted to another person

     

    Let us look at a scenario. You are in love and you have progressed in relationship. Both of you are happy with each other and plan to think of future. And a third person enters your life. You are in love with that person. You find animal magnetism in that new entrant and feel quite helpless. You wish to break up with your old flame and develop relationship with the new. You are getting confused about what you should do? This is not very unusual. Many marriages have been broken because of this. Many relationships got destroyed because of this. The failure to understand what is happening and the failure of right judgment may leave both the earlier partners destroyed. Let us look at this situation in detail and discuss the options. The first step would be to assess the earlier relationship. Find out whether you will be happy after breaking that. If you find that unhappiness will be more than any possible gains, you must drop the idea of developing the new relation and carry on with the earlier one. If you are getting very much attracted with the new entrant, please think about your reasons. What are the reasons of your attraction? is it only lust or something else? Will you be more satisfied in the new relationship? Or will that be temporary as one more person enters your life. A relationship cannot be developed on sudden attraction. It has to grow slowly and both the partners contribute to make a good relationship. Before entering into a new relationship, please weigh all the options and then decide. Hasty and emotional action can lead to long-term pain.

         
    Make love not war the secrets of a successful relationship

     

    The term ‘making love’ has different meanings to different people. In general, in human nature, on TV shows and in movies, the term making love is used to define a tender moment of intimacy between two people. Yes, it usually indicates the act of intercourse, but it is supposedly describing it in a more substantial and meaningful way. The term making love is supposedly meant to imply something beautiful, something romantic ~ to create love. It is used to intentionally deter from giving the vision or thought of sex as being something obscene. The term ‘making love’ wasn’t always used to depict the actual act of having sex. It was used to describe something more pure and even innocent. In the old days, the words ‘making love’ were used to describe any romantic, intimate gesture. Something as simple as a kiss, a flirtation, an expression of devotion, or even a dance was defined as ‘making love’. Times sure have changed, haven’t they? The days of wine and romance seem to be long gone, but for some of us, the words ‘making love’ still hold a special meaning. Everyone at one time or another has probably been told, or they themselves have said to another – I’m not just having sex with you, I’m making love with you. Of course, those statements are not always made with the utmost genuineness. It tends to give the term a bad name when used in those circumstances. But hopefully, common sense or gut instinct will let you know when it’s not being said to you in all sincerity. If not, and you realize at a later time, chalk it up to experience. Live and learn, then move on and acknowledge the lesson. But hopefully you have a partner who does acknowledge the significance of the words ‘making love’ in their true sense. It should be an intimate and passionate experience. Making love, in the actual sense of the term, can be one of the most fulfilling exchanges of trust between two people. So choose your words wisely people, for tomorrow they may come back to haunt you.

         
    Managing the pain of abusive relationships

     

    How many times have you said, “I didn’t have a choice?” This is a phrase that is uttered by many to justify their behavior or complain about their life circumstances. Surely, we can continue to believe there are no choices, but it is my belief that kind of thinking is what greatly contributes to our frustration and limits the strength and amount of personal power we experience. Whenever you are in a situation where you believe there is “no choice”, remember that there are always at least three choices. Every situation has at least these three possible solutions: you can leave it, change it, or accept it. Each option will look different in every situation. Let’s examine the options of a woman in an abusive relationship. I am concerned that women in abusive relationships have no safe place to seek help or to talk about their issues. There is an embarrassment about sharing what is happening in their lives. An abuser will convince his victim that she is in some way to blame for his abuse. This, often, will cause a person in an abusive relationship to suffer in silence. I want to provide a safe place forum for women needing to share and to learn that they are not alone. I, in no way, mean to imply that there are no men living in abusive relationships. This can create a seriously demoralizing situation for a man. How does a man explain to his friends that his wife or girlfriend beats him up or is constantly verbally and emotionally abusive? I believe there are many more men in such relationships than we think. Because they carry a special stigma if they admit what is happening in their lives, most stay silent. There can also be domestic violence in same sex relationships. However, for the purpose of this article, I am writing as if the perpetrator is a male and the victim is a female. The first choice in a situation such as this is to attempt to change the situation. Many women will try to have everything perfect for their spouse or partner. They walk around on egg shells, believing that if only they are better, more loving, more submissive, quieter, more invisible, then their man will not hurt them. Many women in abusive relationships are willing to put in a lifetime attempting to change their partner’s behavior. Of course this is a futile attempt because people do not change for someone else. They change when their current behavior stops working for them and sometimes not even then. I might ask a woman, “How long are you willing to wait for him to change? You’ve already spent 10 years, are you willing to spend 10 more?” This is a question only the woman can answer because she may be willing to wait her entire life. It is not for me or anyone else to decide what is best for another person. After all, we are not in her skin. We can only presume what we may do in the same situation but the right answer for us may not be the right answer for the person going through it. The second possible outcome is to leave it. In an abusive relationship, this would mean ending the relationship. Many women in abusive relationships are afraid to leave because they believe their partner will hunt them down and possibly kill them or at least claim their “property” and force the woman to return. Statistics tell us that more women are killed in abusive relationships who remain in the relationship than who leave but tell that to the family of the one woman who left and was killed by her husband. Statistics don’t do much then. Again, it is easy for us to decide it would be best for a woman to leave her current situation but do we really know what’s best for another person? Do you want to be the one carrying that responsibility? Leaving is definitely a viable option but it should only be made by the woman who is in the relationship. There are organizations set up to help victims of domestic violence escape the violence of their situation but the laws become very tricky when there are children and custody situations involved. Some women stay because they won’t leave their children. Many stay because they are committed to their wedding vows that said, “In sickness and in health. Till death do us part.” No one can decide for another person that she must forsake her vows if keeping them is her highest value. I might ask a woman if she has considered all of her options and thought of the consequences of each choice. Then, I would ask if she believes that leaving is the best option and is she willing to pay the possible consequences of that choice. Is paying the possible consequence of leaving preferable to staying in the current situation? Is the risk worth it? For some, it definitely is. The final choice is to accept it. Accepting it is different from the other two options. In the first two choices, the woman is changing external circumstances. When she is attempting to change it, she is trying to change her partner’s behavior. When she is leaving it, she is changing her circumstances. But acceptance involves staying in the situation and understanding and accepting that the other person will not change and finding a way to be all right with that. The woman in an abusive situation would decide that she is not going to leave and realizes that her husband may never change but decides to stay anyway. This may, for some, actually be their best option. For those of us who love the woman in this situation, we have the same three choices to go through. We can leave it---this would most likely mean ending our relationship with the woman because we can’t stand to see her in an abusive situation. We can attempt to change it by trying to convince her to leave the man. This is what many friends and family do and sometimes the woman decides to leave you. She may decide she can’t live with your disapproval, either stated outright or silently. Out of loyalty to her partner, she may decide it’s not right to listen to your statements against him anymore. What she needs is your support, not judgments and coercion to get her to leave someone she may love. Or the third choice, we can accept it. This means we come to realize that this woman has her own life decisions to make and that she will do the best she can with the choices that are available to her. You will be her friend and support her and her decisions, realizing that you can’t change her or him, for that matter. If you or someone you care about is involved in domestic violence, please come to therelationshipcenter. biz. There are safe ways there to discuss the situation and some are f-r-e-e. Email Kim Olver at [email protected] biz, enter her chat room during scheduled chat times, which are posted on her events calendar or call her at 708-957-6047.

         
    Marital communication influencing and persuading your spouse

     

    : Why does my husband always disagree? Why does my wife put my ideas down? One of the most irritating aspects of life as a united couple is trying to convince your spouse when they take a Macho attitude. Wives say that when they want to suggest an idea to their spouse, or get an agreement that a problem needs to be fixed, they are often faced with denial and negative attitudes. Husbands report that when they want to try something new, their partners often reject their suggestion without proper consideration. And both men and women say that they resent tiptoeing around on eggshells to avoid getting their life partners angry. Some people seem to be constantly negative or skeptical. How can you influence someone who always looks for the crack or the loophole in what you say? Doesn’t it seem unfair that it's often with your life partner that you have the least credibility? What do you have to do to get taken seriously? It can be easier to just give up rather than spend time and energy trying to get people to listen. When a person is running what we call a Macho Pattern, they operate as if they believe the following: * They already know everything there is to know. * They do not have any problems; they and everything connected with them are perfect. * If there are problems, they are of someone else's making. * They are better, higher, more important, and more knowledgeable than anyone else. How many times have you made major decisions to assuage someone's ego or to prevent them from losing face? Just listen to media interviews. When the interviewer asks if someone were surprised by the turn of events, rarely if ever will the person admit to being surprised. That would be saying that they did not already know everything there is to know. Once I sold a sales training program with optional follow-up coaching. No one took up the coaching offer because that would have meant conceding they needed help. Now the coaching is just part of the training program. All of us have the tendency to become Macho at times. Notice your reaction when one of your parents tells you what to do! To make sure that even your spouse will consider your ideas, you could use this Macho Test as an editing technique. Is it anywhere stated or implied that? 1.There is something they don't already know, 2. I am telling them what to do, 3. They have a problem and I have the solution, 4. They are not perfect in some way, and/or 5. I am better than they are in some way. If any of the above are stated or implied, it does not pass the Macho Test! You may wish to rephrase as follows: 1. As you probably know...Then state the thing you suspect they do not know 2. Use the language of suggestion: You may wish to consider... 3. I understand that other couples have had this issue and what some of them have done is...How have you solved this problem? (This implies they have already solved all the problems) 4. With your experience and knowledge in this area... 5. Your role is... My role is... (This lets you establish different yet equal roles) Next time when you sense if you present a 'new' idea, your spouse will deny it's actually new, try suggesting that it may be something they have already considered. You probably already know exactly who all the Machos are in your life. Once rephrase your thoughts to pass the Macho Test, your spousal partner may become more willing to participate in the free flow of ideas.

         
    Marriage infidelity cheating spouses can t hide their extramarital affairs from the truth

     

    : We all lie. A world without little white lies would be uncivilized. But 99% of us have told bigger lies in our lifespan. For most of us, lies told in our personal life makes us feel bad. However, we still continue to lie and cheat. Few events cause as much turmoil in a marriage as infidelity, which can reduce a marriage to rubble, shatter trust and create a breeding ground for insecurity, mistrust and resentment. Most of us have witnessed affairs among people we know, and some of us even have had affairs ourselves. This kind of thing happens in the real world, and it happens all the time. One third of all married couples admit to having cheated on their mates. Let's not be naпve. That's quite a large number of people taking risks! Affairs begin with two people who find each other interesting and attractive. For whatever reason, the relationship escalates into romance and, finally, into sexual intimacy. People who seek romance and sexual intimacy outside of their primary relationship feel that their relationship is missing something, so they go out and they seek it from someone else. If you feel deep in your heart, that your spouse is lying and being unfaithful to you, here are some ways to be sure. One of the techniques professionals use to tell who is lying, and who is telling the truth is to follow eye movements. Neuro-Linguistic Programming says that when people are constructing imaginary or fantasy images we look up and to the left if we are right-handed and up and to the right if we are left-handed. Think, "What color is my Mom’s hair?" Where did your eyes go? Now think, "I’m an astronaut and when I went to the moon I made a snow-man out of moon dust." Where did your eyes go this time? In the book, Telling Lies by lie-catcher Paul Ekman, he presents his 'facial action coding system.' These are the facial expressions we all use that are hard-wired to the brain and will show up without our conscious control. Charles Bond, a psychologist at Texas Christian University reported that among 2,520 adults surveyed in 6.3 countries, more than 70% believe that liars tend to avert their gazes and/or stutter, touch, or scratch themselves or tell longer stories than usual. If you’re spouse is working too many late nights, think about this next time you ask them what their plans are for the night. Although, there has been some research lately that says this analysis is too simplistic to be counted upon, detectives continue to use it along with other tools. There was a story in Outside Magazine about a detective involved in an investigation of a poaching in a national park. He claimed he could tell within one minute if someone was lying. I got very excited and tracked him down to a sub-station in Wyoming. He said that he teaches his skills to trainees in one hour but he wouldn’t tell me what they were. Maybe he thought I was a secret poacher (which is hard to be in Santa Barbara) Here are some other ways to tell if your partner or spouse is lying and having an extramarital affair:

    1. If their answer to your question is brief, clear, and direct, that is a good sign that it is true.
    2. Liars start to elaborate and repeat themselves and sometimes their story or the details change.
    3. The more a liar tries, the more you need to worry.
    An extramarital affair takes a great deal of energy. The lying, sneaking around, and destroying of evidence all take tremendous amounts of energy. The onset of guilty feelings about having the affair, in the first place, further zaps whatever energy the partner having the affair might still have left. And, guess what all this used energy is a complete waste, because liars cannot control the ‘leakage’ of their true feelings, which run in micro-expressions that last half a second. It is so ordinary, so much a part of our everyday lives and everyday conversations that we hardly notice it.

         
    Massage new jersey relax and alleviate daily stresses

     

    Daily life is full of issues, big and small, that can cause you to become not only mentally exhausted, but physically run down as well. Stresses from the workplace or being home with the kids and financial worries, to name a few, can really take their toll on your body. It’s a well-known fact that geographic areas like the East Coast, New Jersey and New York for example, or cities in California like Los Angeles as an example of the West coast, emanate a much more stressful lifestyle than say the laid-back Southern or Mid-Western way of life. Places like New Jersey and New York move at a much faster-pace than most areas in the county. The population overall is larger, there more places to get to and things to do so there is more traffic as a result. It’s a trade-off in some respects, but one that is well worth it if you enjoy variety and don’t mind the stresses those circumstances can cause from time-to-time. A good way to alleviate your daily stresses is with massage. It is such a nice way to wash away all the tension that has tightened your muscles and caused you to lose your energy. But there are other benefits to massage as well. A good massage will not only loosen your tight muscles, but it has a detoxifying effect on the body. Massage can relieve headaches and sinus symptoms and reduce digestive problems. It can reduce your back pain, lower your blood pressure and diminish fatigue. There’s really nothing negative that can be said about getting a massage! If you live in an area of the country such as New Jersey, you will find that there are many places offering a variety of massage styles. Some types of massage that are available to you in New Jersey are Shiatsu, which is performed using finger and hand pressure to release blocked energy and tension. It is also good for correcting the functions of internal organs. There is Swedish style, known as soft tissue massage, which helps to eliminate blockages in the blood stream and lymphs. There is even Pre-Natal massage for those expectant mommies which aside from the obvious benefits, helps to prepare muscles for childbirth! Check out MassageSoup to locate a great massage therapist in your area. The result is a wonderful feeling of relaxation, health and well being that lasts for hours. Do something nice for yourself for a change. Get a massage!

         
    Men date your wives

     

    I have been married long enough to learn a few things. Some of the lessons I have learned have come from doing things right, but the vast majority of the lessons I've learned from marriage have come from areas that I've completely failed in. I share my mistakes with men in hopes that they will not have to make the same mistakes for themselves. Perhaps one of the biggest mistakes that I made during the first years of my marriage was that I didn't take my wife out on a single date. I'm serious. It was many years after we had been married before I thought to take my wife on a date. So, men, my advice to you is simple: date your wives! Perhaps you are better than me and you never stopped taking your wife on dates like you used to before you got married. Congratulations! I wish someone had taught me to do the same thing. I wish someone had been around to tell me that marrying your wife does not mean that you've completely won her and that you will never have to do anything to win her love again. Or I wish that someone had told me that the point of the whole thing was never to win her heart by marrying her and then never win her heart again. Oh how helpful it would have been to know that winning and keeping the heart of your wife takes time, effort, and a few special dates here and there. My first years of marriage would have been easier and better had I known these simple things. I think my wife nearly had a heart attack on the day that I asked her to go on a date with me that Friday night, and I guess that I shouldn't have been so surprised by her surprise. For a brief moment she looked at me like she was looking at a stranger. It had really taken her off guard that I had thought to date her and then planned it well in advance. One of her favorite bands was playing in a city nearby and I bought us tickets, got a babysitter, and invited her on a dinner and concert date. I cannot tell you how much my wife loved being loved by me in that way. All night long she glowed like a woman who knew deeply that she was being loved. Since that first date I have made a commitment to take my wife on at least two dates per month. Sometimes I plan extravagant dates and we dress up and go out dancing and to a fancy dinner. Other times we head to our favorite bookstore, order coffees and look at magazines and books together. Some of my favorite dates are the simple ones, the ones where we know that nothing matters as much as just being together. So, men, whether you have been married for three months or for thirty-three years, make it a habit to invite your wife out on dates. She will be so glad you did, and so will you.

         
    Men paid love and upscale escorts

     

    Why would they pay such high price for an upscale escort?? Many people feel lonely, they spend so much time working that when they stop they feel empty. This not only applies for men, women have the same issue. Think about the past, courtesans were there for the most privileged men, It was usually their with and personality that set them apart from the regular women. Dynasty Queens Central Florida escorts agency offers Private courtesan services: South Florida Escorts | Upscale Miami Escorts We are a distinguished Florida escort agency that offers high-class companionship ladies to successful businessmen, whose business dealings bring them to Central Florida or South Florida alone and thus wish to have a companion for their multiple outings, such as dining at a fine restaurant, site-seeing the most interesting places in town, or simply want to spend some enjoyable time with the company of a gorgeous and refined lady. International Escort Date Services Escorts Dynasty Queens is one of real dating agencies whose chief purpose is to make our international customers feel extra pampered and satisfied with the company of our high class female escorts in Miami, Fla. Any of our escort girls is available for travel throughout Florida or the world International high class escorts We have in our team the most sophisticated, high class international companions. They all meet our high standard requirements and rigurous policy. Our escorts models are not only the sexiest and most beautiful, they are also educated and smart. Our ladies are well groomed, cultured and refined International upscale escort agency yes, courtesans (upscale escorts) have always been there and paid love is just another part of our society, another part of our hectic lifestyle

         
    Men say no more violence against women

     

    The statistics are startling. According to a Commonwealth Fund survey, nearly one-third of American women report being physically or sexually abused by a husband or boyfriend at some point in their lives. While the mere thought of this is overwhelming, there is good news. By educating yourself and those around you about violence against women, you can make a difference to those currently experiencing it and to the generations to come. This is a community problem and it takes all of us to solve the problem and create change in our communities. "Many people are reluctant to talk about abuse because they consider it a 'private problem' or a 'women's issue,'" said Sheryl Cates, executive director of the Texas Council on Family Violence, operators of the National Domestic Violence Hotline. "But learning that domestic violence is a pattern of power and control that adults or adolescents use against their intimate partners can start to break down some of the common misconceptions about this issue and help bring it out from behind closed doors." Recently, men have taken up the mantle and come out loud and clear with their message: no more violence against women. One way men are getting involved is by talking to the young boys in their lives about building healthy relationships. Despite conventional wisdom, young people want guidance from adults. Research indicates that almost half of boys and girls say that they want to know more about relationship abuse - what it means and how to stop it. In the same survey, 31 percent of teens age 13 to 17 reported they or a friend experienced dating violence. Adult men play an important and unique role in molding the thoughts and attitudes in a young man's life. Talking to boys early and often is a crucial step in stopping the cycle of violence. By doing so, they can counteract the countless messages boys see and hear equating violence with "being strong," "acting tough" and "being a man." To that end, Liz Claiborne Inc. has collaborated with experts in the area of family violence and compiled a handbook to help men start what can be difficult conversations with the boys in their lives on this important topic. The handbook, titled "Tough Talk: What Boys Need to Know About Relationship Abuse," is the latest in a series of booklets created by the company to help men, women, parents and teens address the issue.

         
    Mental abuse the 7 most important things to know

     

    : 1. Sticks and stones won’t break my bones” – and words won’t leave any measurable physical damage, but they will cause progressive, long-term harm. Never underestimate the power of words: words are used to brainwash. Being told you are “stupid”, “ugly”, “lazy” or “worthless” is never acceptable. The first times you hear it, it will hurt, naturally. In time you “may get used to” hearing it from a partner.

    That’s when you start to internalise and believe it. When that happens you are doing the other person’s work of putting you down for them. This is why your feelings of self-worth suffer increasingly over time. The good news is that just as words have been used to bring you down, you can learn to harness the power of words to build you up and restore your confidence and belief in yourself. 2. You are always told that it’s your fault. Somehow, whatever happens, however it starts, the ultimate blame is always yours.

    Notice that we are talking ultimate blame here. The blaming partner will always tell you that their behaviour was caused by what you said or did. In fact, their argument runs along the lines that you can’t possibly blame them for anything, because if you hadn’t said what you said, or done what you did it would never have happened. 3. You’re more inclined to believe your partner than you are to believe yourself. Have you ever reeled with a sense of hurt and injustice, or seethed with anger at the way you’ve been treated? Have you found yourself asking: “Is it reasonable to feel like this?” “Am I misinterpreting things?

    ” “Have I got it wrong?” If this is you, what it means is that you have become so brainwashed you’ve stopped trusting in your own judgement. Your mind keeps throwing up the observations and questions because, deep down, you know that what is happening is utterly wrong. But right now you can’t feel the strength of your own convictions. 4. You need your partner to acknowledge your feelings. Have you ever felt desperate to make your partner hear what you are saying and apologise for the hurtful things they’ve said? Have you ever felt that only they can heal the pain they’ve caused? Does your need for them to validate your feelings keep you hooked into the relationship?

    When a partner constantly denies or refuses to listen to your feelings, that is, unquestionably, mental abuse. 5. Your partner blows hot and cold. He can be very loving but is often highly critical of you. He may tell you how much he loves you, yet he is short on care or consideration towards you. In fact, some of the time, maybe even a lot of the time, he treats you as if you were someone he truly dislikes. You do everything you can to make him happy, but it’s never good enough. You’re more like the pet dog in the relationship than you are the equal partner.

    Your constant efforts to get his attention and please him meet with limited success. Sometimes he’ll be charmed, often he’s dismissive. If you find yourself puzzling about how your partner can treat you that way, it is because you are trying to live in a love-based relationship, when in reality you are living in a control-based relationship. The mental abuser struggles with his own feelings of worthlessness and uses his relationship to create a feeling of personal power, at his partner’s expense.

    6. You feel as if you are constantly walking on eggshells. There is a real degree of fear in the relationship. You have come to dread his outbursts, the hurtful things that he will find to say to you. (Maybe the same anxiety and need to please spill over into your other relationships also.) Fear is not part of a loving relationship, but it is a vital part of a mentally abusive relationship. It enables the abuser to maintain control over you. 7. You can heal. Mentally abusive relationships cause enormous emotional damage to the loving partner who tries, against all odds, to hold the relationship together and, ultimately, can’t do it, because her partner is working against her. Whether you are currently in a mentally abusive relationship, have left one recently, or years later are still struggling with the anxieties and low self-worth and lack of confidence caused by mental abuse, it is never too late to heal. But you do need to work with a person or a programme specifically geared to mental abuse recovery. Women who have suffered mental abuse expect radical change of themselves, and they expect it right away. This is why they often struggle and, not uncommonly, take up with another abusive partner. Mental abuse recovery is a gradual process. Low self-worth and limiting beliefs about what kind of future the abuse sufferer can ever hope for are the blocks that can stop women from moving on. But they are blocks that you can clear very effectively. Just as language was once used to harm you, you can now learn how language can heal you. You can overcome past mental abuse and keep yourself safe from it in the future. You can also learn to feel strong, believe in yourself and create the life and the relationships you truly want. “The Woman You Want To Be” is a unique workbook designed to accompany you on a year long journey into emotional health and happiness. (C) 2005 Annie Kaszina

         
    Mid life...the time between growing up and growing older

     

    What is Mid life in relationship to myself? Is it a physical, mental, emotional or spiritual awakening? It may very well be a little of all. I don’t know the day or the time it happened but I had a realization of what it is to live inside my own skin. This outer part that attracts people and things into my space. The visual contact that puts people at ease or makes them turn and walk away. The part that so many women and men pay to change, lift and tuck to pretend that along with their new found wisdom they also have youth. That mid life reflection in the mirror that you try to avoid until the day realization sets in and you start meeting its needs, wants and desires. The need to get connected to yourself becomes a priority. The held together self starts falling apart and you have no understanding of how to put those pieces back the way they were. You actually don’t want things the way they were. The desire for change gets overwhelming. You find that you have now created a new mission and the journey or the next chapter in your life begins. The list begins by asking yourself what you want . Find yourself a great looking blank page book that represents you. Start to write all your ideas, dreams and desires in this book as carrying everything around in your head can become overwhelming. The more you write the more you allow your brain to dig out what lies beneath that first layer. You may want a different look or need to present yourself differently. You have a desire to respond in a new way when others ask for your time and attention. You may want to travel or start a new career. The items on the list can be simple and work their way into deeper desires and more noticeable changes. Time for yourself to uncover the real you that exists in your skin takes time. Take the plunge and evaluate each area from career to friendships. Check out what’s in your mental as well as physical closets and the “stuff” your hanging onto. The cobwebs of fear and thinking you were not a priority need to be swept and dusted out of this picture. You deserve to express yourself in truthful ways that don’t hurt yourself, others or things. It’s actually time to really face the reflection looking back at you in the mirror of the present moment. This mid life moment is yours to dissect, evaluate and eliminate. When you begin to see and feel the changes within yourself, the outward starts to reflect the same. The ease of being with yourself as well as others becomes noticeable. You attract new people, places and opportunities into your life minus the need for acknowledgement from others. The feeling of honoring yourself is a very self rewarding feeling. Life’s not always about pleasing others. Welcome to mid life…the time between growing up and growing old.

         
    Miss you ecards use them to refresh the relationship

     

    Yesterday, I was reading a post by a boy who said that though he broke-up eight years ago, he has not forgotten his girl. He still dreams of being withier child and living together. This boy has dated many girls during these eight years, but the lost love refuses to go away. He wanted to know about what he should do. I advised him in that forum to go back to his love, though many others said that he should forget. This boy is not alone in this predicament. Many of us break-up for small reasons and are inconsolable afterwards. We try many ways to forget, but fail. Miss you ecards are a great help to such people. Are we not missing our real love? Yes, we do, but we try to hide that fact from ourselves and keep a smiling exterior. Our body and heart misses our real love, but we do not know how to approach our love again. Use miss you ecards and online ecards to tell your old flame that you miss her/him. You may be feeling very awkward to say that across the face. But with an ecard that says - I miss you, you can say that beautifully. Send one miss you ecard a day and keep sending till you don't reunite. Select ecards from a website that offers free ecards. The ecards that say - I miss you should surely not look bright or be full of animated characters. A lone bird, alone flower, setting sun, these are the visuals you will be looking for in the ecard. Get video ecards in flash with a message of deep longing. Send the miss you ecards till you don't reclaim your love. No use hiding the truth that you are still longing for your old partner. Tell her/him and rebuild your relationship and life with I miss you ecards.

         
    Missing someone do a person search

     

    If you are anything like me then you have moved enough times that you have friends and family scattered almost everywhere around the country and maybe even throughout the world. Being a mobile person definitely makes life interesting, but it also makes it quite hard to keep any consistent relationships going. I find that far too many people have become former friends that I am not in touch with anymore regardless of the impact they used to have on my life. This is sad to me. And I hope that if you are in the same spot is me, that it is sad to you. I've recently begun doing a "person search" in an attempt to find the people that once were near and dear to me. Most people, when they thing of a person search, think about a formal search that is conducted for legal reasons or when you hire an investigator to find someone who is lost. My use of the term person search is far more informal. In fact, I use it simply as my own method of reconnecting with the people in my life, and I invite any other wanderers to use it in the same way. The point is simple. I value relationships. I value the people who have become part of my story and who have been a significant player in my story for a short or long period of time. I value more than the memory of them, however. I value them enough that I desire to remain in contact and to keep in touch come what may in life. This is what fueled my desire to start a person search to find each person that I missed. I began my person search by making a list of all of the significant people in my life. I started as early as I could remember and found myself listing a few teachers from my elementary school years. I made my way up until now and my list was rather long. I was nearly moved to tears over this list because it was such a symbol to me of what I valued. I continued my person search by highlighting the people on my list that I was no longer in contact with an that I wanted to reconnect with. I then began the long process of trying every possible method of reconnecting with each person. I called old phone numbers, I sent emails to old addresses and I dropped postcards in the mail to the most current addresses I had. I started my person search a couple of months ago and have had some of the greatest reconnections ever. Do it. Start a person search of your own and get in touch with the ones you miss the most.

         
    Mixed love relationships have a certain special spark

     

    Mixed love is a fantastic example of how true love conquers all as it breaks the bonds and rises above discrimination, alienation, and disapproval. Now more than ever before, the 21st century is seeing interracial couples date, live together and marry. With each passing decade, the unspoken mixed love taboos of the past are being placed in history books and buried with the older generations. There is no reason why anyone should have to limit themselves to only experience dating with their own ethnic group, when so many other fantastic romances and rewarding relationships await them through international dating. You may be wondering how if you are a black, white, Eurasian, etc. you could become connected and date others from different culture backgrounds, especially if you haven't the first idea how you would approach someone else without feeling strange or awkward in person. The answer is to get connected with an online dating service that works to get you in touch with different people, who are interested in seeking relationships with someone just like you. For instance, Love Empire is an online dating community that allows you to set up a profile and search for others who have similar interests as you. Of course not everyone you meet is going to interest you, or you them, but at least with an online dating community, you can search for potential dates on your own terms, without having to worry about the interference of anyone else. This provides you with an exceptional chance of experiencing mixed love romances that may be just what you were looking for. Regardless of your cultural background, black, white, Eurasian, etc., there are many online dating mixed love success stories at Love Empire, so there is no reason why you can't be another success story if you play it smart, are honest with your feelings, and enjoy the company of your date. Of course, like anyone you meet, there is always risk involved, and there will always be someone who does not approve of your relationship, especially if you are dating someone from a different ethnic background. However, as long as you take your dating slow, and discover how much you truly care for the person, there is no reason why you can't rise above any challenge that presents itself. Without question, mixed love relationships have a certain special spark that can be captured by no other cultural pairing. And it is not because multicultural relationships are rebellious or made to prove a point as they sometimes were in the 1960's, or are considered the latest fad as some where in the 1980's; on the contrary, interracial relationships today are a sign of a new age that shows you don't need to be of a certain colour or gender to find love, you just need to meet the right person.

         
     
         
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