They can also come in the form of variation of conventional online games such as card games with a sexual twist. There are multiplayer games or games that can be played with a computer generated character. It can be in a controlled setting with a theme or a very open-ended type game. There is something for everyone as games are made for persons of various sexual orientations, even bisexuals. No matter the type of game, there is fun to be had by adults using online sex games. 3d sex games are available with varied levels of interaction. They can be as as you want or can be require very little input from the player, consisting more of video-type content. Virtual characters can be personalized and selecting what they look like and wear, the types of activities they engage in, what they say or the situations they find themselves in. 3d sex games can also involve actual interaction with real persons versus playing against the computer. This can involves typed interaction or actual spoken and visual interaction using microphones and webcams. It is the new way to meet and date persons while attaining the optional, additional benefits. Men can enjoy instantaneous sex if they want and women can take it slower if thats what they wish to do, vice versa. Some games allow you to access and update your virtual avatar in the online adult game on a continuous basis. 3d sex games can be testing grounds for the real world. Although online adult games in no way replace other social mediums persons may use these interactions to build confidence or to compensate for temporary periods of loneliness. The realm of online sex games is so varied that there is something to suit every type of individual or need. The number of games and features keeps growing to satisfy the wishes of gamers worldwide. Playing a 3d sex game does not indicate that one is sex deprived or a sex freak. The simulations are so real that cybersex is becoming more and more attractive. In some cases it is simply used to spice up or complement an active sex life. These games can be used as a facilitator for cybersex among couples in a long distance relationship, for example. It can also be used as a medium through which fantasies that they are too shy to enact in real life can be acted out via the internet. It can be a couple's activity used to bring the two together in an intimate way. On the other hand, it can also be an anonymous and discreet way for persons to interact sexually with strangers, or new acquaintances. 3d sex games are made for adults to enjoy with each other can are very different from childish games. The aim is for the participants to have fun in an adult way, responsible but exciting way.
Sex life? What sex life? You’re a parent and life is so busy that you barely have time to think about your own needs, let alone do anything about meeting them. It can seem like your own needs don’t matter, it’s the children that have top priority and you have to do whatever it takes to look after them. Don’t be fooled, your needs are important and neglecting them isn’t good for anyone, not you, not your partner and definitely not your children. Sure you can’t do all the things you did before children, life has changed and pleasure comes in different ways. But you are still an adult with adult needs and for you to feel fulfilled they need to be met. So how do you find time and energy for sex when there are so many other things demanding your attention? It takes a bit more planning and effort than in the past but you need to tell yourself that it can happen and it is definitely worth it. What if you don’t want anyone touching you after having children crawling all over you all day? Some people have a quotient for the amount of physical contact they need and can comfortably accommodate in a day. But if you think about it children touch you differently to how your partner touches you and for the most part, it’s all take. So how do you have more sex? Okay, how do you have any sex? 1. Make it a priority and it will happen. Feeding the children quickly becomes a priority when you have nagging children at your feet. Make your desires like that and don’t let up until you have got what you need. 2. Find a time that works. It may be early in the morning before the children wake up, it may be immediately after they’ve gone to bed ignoring the dishes and the washing and cleaning up, it may be during the day while the kids are watching a video. You have to make time for each other. 3. Do some things that make you think about sex. It can be hard to switch your brain from babyland to sex so you may need a little help. Watch a sexy movie, read erotic fiction together, write your partner a sexy note, think back to a time when you had great sex (c’mon you can do that, it can’t be that long, surely, you have children afterall!), relive how good it felt. 4. Take a shower together. There is something about getting naked and wet together that can be very erotic. 5. Expect interruptions and don’t be put off. OK you start kissing and you hear a baby cry. You try to ignore it but you can’t. So you go off and tend to them and then think the moment is gone. But it isn’t. And if it is then get it back by viewing the interruption as a diversion which has increased your appetite for sex not soured it. 6. Don’t wait until you get into bed to initiate sex. When you’ve been together awhile it’s easy to fall into habits, like falling into a deep sleep as soon as your head touches the pillow, and sometimes it’s those habits that you need to break in order to kickstart your sex life. Sex can happen anywhere so make use of the spaces you have. 7. And the most important thing you need to do – don’t give up! You can find a way to make it happen. Know that your needs are important and you will function better when they’ve been met.
What is it with men and big boobs? Anatomically, these are glands which we humans use to feed our young. Technically it’s just another one of nature’s many designs to help us propagate and survive. As one may already know, breasts develop in the puberty stage with a girl’s hormones going haywire, no one can say how big it’s going to get. Studies say that the size of the breast depends on the support it gets from the chest. Breast growth increases rapidly during pregnancy and typically, the size of the breast fluctuates throughout the menstrual cycle. During old age, the breasts sag because the ligaments supporting it usually elongates. Anyway, humans are the only animals in the kingdom animalia which has breasts that are permanently swollen, even when not lactating. Because of this, several studies have been made to find out the other functions of the breasts, more commonly known in the streets as big tit. According to scientists, animals mate when their partners are ovulating. Most animals know this because of the swollen breast of the female. For humans, this is also the same. Males find women with big boobs more attractive because it is associated with ovulation. Now for other primates, they usually have rear-entry copulation, thereby the basis for attractiveness is usually the buttocks. I know, rear-entry can also be done by humans, but of course, this wouldn’t get the woman pregnant. Since sex is a basic instinct created by nature to propagate our species, we need to reproduce. It is said that the breast is the frontal counterpart of the buttocks, and due to our upright posture, humans are more likely to copulate face to face, or the position we know as missionary. This meant that because sex needed a face on encounter, the partners needed to develop a relationship which goes beyond the sexual one. Now of course these are the rantings of a woman whose breast size has always been smaller than the average. In 1986, the dream of many boob-men in the world came true with the publication of Juggs, a softcore pornography magazine. The magazine’s name was actually the slang term for breasts. The magazine is still being printed today but there are other alternatives that replaced it in our modern world. You have big movie, and big tit porn. You have bouncing tits, big tit Latinas and big tit teens. Unfortunately, despite the fascination of men in the US for big boobs, there are some cultures which don’t think that it is a worthy area of study. Breasts were seen as natural as writers and painters refer to it time and time again without any qualms on the subject. According to studies, however, not all men, prefer big tits, the best size is always described as “small, white, round like apples, hard, firm and wide apart.”
Despite the sexual revolution in the 1960s, the fact is, many Americans still feel that sex is a taboo. Each person has different sexual preferences and though there are those who are very vocal about their needs in bed, there still are others who opt to keep silent for fear of being called vulgar. Researchers nowadays are saying that another sexual revolution is well underway, as evidenced by the high rating of shows that has sex-related content. In a recent study conducted by Jean Twenge of San Diego University, it was found out that 50% of teenage girls are already having sex, and are also considered the leaders of the teen sexual revolution in the new world. The issue of oral sex is now seen in a new light as more and more teenagers no longer see it as disgusting. The trend shows that sex has moved past the boundaries of relationships, marriage and pleasure towards the quest for pleasure. With the knowledge of teenage sex, how many parents have bothered to educate their children about the pros (if any) and cons of early sexual activities? Studies show that parents would rather pretend that their children have no idea what sex is yet and talking about it would make them more curious, which could lead to experimentation. But this is definitely not the case. Children can now access sites featuring couples having live sex, or a live sex show with hot models as stars. No, teenagers nowadays are no longer as innocent as we want them to be, and despite the many precautions parents take to prevent their children from sexy webcam chat rooms and club live sex, it just isn’t enough. Children still need to be educated by their parents. They need to know that they are not the only one experiencing things such as arousal or even masturbation. Children are confused and for them to be properly guided towards their societal roles, parents still has the biggest part of it. I still believe that the biggest problem with the teenage lies on the fact that technically speaking, they still are children. Biologically, teenage girls are not yet equipped to bear healthy children. Aside from this, the spread of sexually transmitted diseases can easily affect teenagers as most of them refuses to follow the lesson taught in sexual education. People blame teenage pregnancy to the proliferation of sex-related media and easy access to porn sites. It is true that several studies have found a relationship between early sexual experimentation and sexual innuendos in TVs and movies. But hey, you can’t blame everything to media. True, the media is cluttered with so much sex-related content but still, you are responsible for your kids. Cam to cam sex stars don’t tell your children to go out and have sex with the next girl they see. Leaving your children uneducated and clueless about this topic when everyone else is talking can only leave them to be more curious if not as closed up as you are, and the cycle continues.
Sexual health has been defined as the state of sexuality related to physical, emotional, mental and social well-being. A positive and respectful approach towards sexuality and sexual relationships is vital for attaining a sound sexual health. Your feelings have a great impact on your sexual appetite. For example, if you are feeling anxious, bitter or angry towards your spouse you will not feel like having a sex with them. Men’s sexual health is of immense concern nowadays. You could be the most affectionate man in the world but if you are unable to satisfy your spouse in the bed it can lead to relationship issues. Sex is very important for a relationship to go smooth. Your inability to last in bed can turn your relationship bitter. Anxiety builds up in your mind making sex one of the most traumatic things in your life. Various psychological factors are also considered while discussing men’s sexual health. Men’s failure to achieve their goal in life can put them into a state of depression. Avoidance to sex becomes natural in such a situation. Other topics relating to men’s sexual health are as follows-: • Desire • Pleasure • Orgasm • Rapid or delayed ejaculation • Prostate health • Masturbation A decrease in the production of testosterone in men makes them loose their desire in sex. Low sexual desire can also be the result of some chronic disease, hormonal imbalances, stress, fatigue or a poor body image. Most of the men today suffer from erectile dysfunction. Erectile dysfunction is a sexual dysfunction that immobilizes a man to develop an erection of the penis. Health problems such as high blood-pressure, cardiovascular disease, diabetes, high cholesterol or depression contribute to erectile dysfunction. Anybody can be affected by this illness at any stage of life, but more often it is seen in men above the age of 40 years. Early ejaculation in men who are single debars them from seeking an ideal partner. Men usually hesitate to talk about their sexual health as it might hurt their ego. They take it as a curse and begin living with it. Living under such a stress can lead to depression. If your husband feels the same, try taking to him. Make him feel comfortable and share his feelings with you. If necessary consult a doctor. If you want to keep this issue as private, the best option for you is to seek levitra power. Levitra is a drug that helps men to improve their sexual health. It works by blocking an enzyme called phosphodiesterase-5, then relaxes smooth muscles in the penis and helps improve the blood flow. This results in a natural erection of the penis. Erection of penis will ultimately enhance your sexual desire thus giving you more pleasure. Men’s sexual health needs considerate assistance. Do not dither to talk about your sexual problems with your spouse.
Up until the last two or three decades, condoms have always been predominantly a masculine concern. Protecting the male person from unwanted pregnancies used to be the primary intention of putting on this device. But with the advent of feminism and female empowerment, condom usage is now viewed as the responsibility of both sexes and women have as much right and responsibility as any man to see to it that their partner puts on a condom for her protection. With increased awareness on the transmission of sexually transmitted diseases and the prevalence of AIDS, the practice of safe sex is longer a matter of preference, but of necessity and survival. And because condoms offer relatively cheap, convenient, and highly effective method of prevention, it plays a large part in the maintenance of healthy reproductive and sexual lives. With a lot of options and product lines out there, it is hard to understand why some men would still prefer to expose themselves to health risks rather than use condoms. Manufacturers have given a lot of thought and resources in meeting every possible demand of consumers out there, such as the production of thin condoms for those seeking to experience enhanced sensitivity like the Trojan Ultra Thin, Durex Extra Sensitive and the Trojan Elexa Ultra Sensitive varieties. The Trojan brand is also selling thicker condoms like the Trojan Enz condoms. Condoms are also available in different sizes and shapes, such as the Trojan Magnum, which is the most popular large sized condom in the market today. For those seeking value-added features, like textured surfaces, flavors, scents, and colors, there are enough condom varieties to satisfy them all. Trying on the Durex Intense Sensation, the Trojan Ultra Ribbed, and the Trojan Twisted Pleasure might bring on memorable moments that would be cherished for a long time. And speaking of enhanced pleasure, the Durex condoms and Trojan brands also has available lubricants best suited for the condoms they manufacture respectively. Because of the availability of other contraceptives designed for the female body, women have been more than willing to do their share in protecting themselves. It would just be so nice to share a relationship, if not a brief connection, with someone willing to take up his own share of responsibility. Condoms do not emasculate you in women’s eyes, and neither do these devices compromise or cramp whatever style you might want to project. When a man puts on a condom at his own initiative and without any prompting from his female sex partner, he sends across a message of responsibility and caution. This is good, especially if both of you are looking to build a healthy, loving relationship that would hopefully last for a long time. Needless to say, recklessness and headlong rush into sexual fulfillment without any thought on protection says much on the immature mentality of both participants. Putting on a condom shows that you care. And even though it is not a guarantee of a man’s fidelity, it is concern enough to protect the physical well-being of your sex partners, as well as steering yourselves away from accidental pregnancies. So is the use of condom selfish? Probably to some degree, since both partners consenting to use this protective device are looking out for their own protection. But it can also be a means of sharing. The use of condoms and other contraceptives lowers anxieties and reduces fears, making the sexual experience more fulfilling and pleasurable. In a woman’s point of view, the practice safe sex does not lower intimacy, it enhances it.
Impotence can create a scar in your sexual life that won't fade away unless you do something about it. Impotence is basically defined as having a consistent problem in getting &/or maintaining an erection satisfactory for a proper sexual intercourse. Impotence can strike at any age though it is common among the men above the age of 50. If you are one among the many that suffer from this problem, it's time for you to take control of your sex life before it's too late. There are scores of medications available that can rid you of impotence but most of them just offer a temporary solution. Some of these medications are quite popular such as ViagraT & CialisT but what's not popular are the dangerous side-effects that are associated with their usage like headaches, flushing, nausea, blood pressure variations, irregular heart beats, visual disturbances, even blindness & chest pain. There are some medications that have to be taken for life & can prove to be quite expensive on a long term. If you are too embarrassed to see a physician or buy drugs from a medical store & you don't want to suffer from any of the above mentioned side-effects or be on a pill for the rest of your life, we have something unique & special to offer you - Prozest! Causes of Male Sexual Impotence The reasons that lead to any sexual dysfunction are many, both physical & psychological & so is it for Impotence. The usual culprits are: • Bodily diseases & disorders: Chronic diseases of the lungs, liver, kidneys, heart, nerves, arteries or veins can lead to impotence. Endocrine system disorders, particularly diabetes. The accumulation of deposits in your arteries also known as atherosclerosis can cause impotence. In some cases, impotence may arise due to low levels of testosterone in men. • Surgical treatment or trauma: Damage to the nerves that control erections resulting from an injury to the pelvic area or spinal cord can be a cause for impotence. Surgical treatment for bladder, rectal or prostate cancer can also cause impotence. Extended periods of riding a bicycle can cause temporary impotence. • Drugs: Drugs such as antidepressants, antihistamines and medications to treat high blood pressure, pain and prostate cancer are other causes of impotence. They disturb the nerve signals or blood flow to the penis. Certain anesthetics & sleep aid drugs can also lead to impotence. • Drug/ substance abuse: Continual intake of alcohol, marijuana or other addictive drugs frequently leads to impotence & erectile dysfunction and a diminished libido in men. The penile blood vessels can get damaged due to excessive intake of tobacco. • Stress, anxiety or depression. Psychological conditions such as stress & depression are some of the leading factors today to cause male impotence. Safed Musli or Chlorophytum arundinaceum is a major element in many of the Ayurvedic medicinal concoctions. For around 2000 years it has been prescribed as a tonic to enhance sexual libido, improve sexual performance, cure Oligospermia and build the body's immunity towards diseases. Even the western world is now recognizing the value of this powerful herb to treat sexual disorders, a remedy for pre-natal and post-natal problems, a restorative for boosting the immunity system and as a cure for diabetes & arthritis. Clinical trials conducted shows that Safed Musli is completely non-toxic & safe in nature to be consumed. Safed Musli doesn't show any side-effects even at a high dose of 2000mg/ kg of body weight. This proves that Safed Musli is a safe and effective drug, with similar benefits to that of chemical drugs but without the side-effects . Safed Musli contains over 25 alkaloids, vitamins, minerals, proteins, carbohydrates, steroid, saponins and polysaccharides etc within it. The Bio-Chemistry of Safed Musli is as follows: Carbohydrates: 35% - 42% Proteins: 5% - 10% Fibre: 20% - 30% Saponins: 12% - 20% Alkaloids: 15% - 25% The main elements that make Safed Musli rich as a medicinal herb are the saponins and alkaloids present in it. Stigmasterol, a type of steroidal saponins, is the key element of Safed Musli. This saponin is similar in structure to the hormones corticosteroids and testosterone. Stigmasterol improves the production of these hormones in the body thus sustaining a physiological balance or homeostasis in the body. How Does Safed Musli Act In Prozest? Prozest tackles the problem of Male Impotency in a safe & effective manner. Prozest is the only natural product that will help you overcome impotency in just 6 months & we give you a guarantee for this. Prozest helps treat impotency once & for all!! The Safed Musli in each pill of Prozest works by: 1. Promoting Hormone Production & Normalization: The biochemical constituents in Safed Musli act as a precursor for the biosynthesis of sexual hormones such as corticosteroids & testosterone. This increase in the production of these hormones induces sexual desire, improves sexual capacity, energy & sexual performance. 2. Improving Stamina & Immunity: The elements in Safed Musli provide the body with a surplus amount of sexual energy to keep you going throughout the night. They not only increase your energy levels but also protect your body against harmful bacteria & micro-organisms thus enhancing your immunity system. 3. Enhancing Sperm Volume & Quality: Safed Musli also enhances the sperm volume & quality. Sperm mobility is also considerably improved. Safed Musli also boosts erectile & ejaculation functions. You have more information and health products in healthestore.4yz Or in allthemarket. net
Online adult pc games can be as interactive as you want or can be require very little input from the player. They can involve gay or straight persons as well as trans-gender prsons. Adult pc games can be as tame as dressing up a virtual character and dating other characters or can involve having sex in various positions if players chose to do so. Adult pc games can also involve actual interaction with real persons versus playing against the computer. Others may wish to simply play against the computer for a more closed-ended game. Either way, online adult games provide a new way to meet and date persons with attaining additional benefits whether through interaction in the game itself or via the chatrooms and blog forums associated with it. Sex is only part of the equation if the player so desires. Men can enjoy instantaneous sex if they want and women can take it slower if thats what they wish to do. Some games allow you to access your virtual character in the online adult game on a daily basis. This allows for the development of relationships and patterns. Online adult pc games can be testing grounds for the real world. Although online adult games in no way replace other social mediums persons may use these interactions to build confidence or to compensate for temporary periods of loneliness. Characters in the realm of online gaming can project a stable environment in which gamers can feel safe, satisfied and in control. On the other hand, if they wish to experience a not so planned world, where the unexpected happens then the vast realm of online adult games can provide that setting too. The benefits of adult pc games include the fact that the relationships developed are noncommittal. No one can be forced to do anything they don't want to and enjoyment can be had outside of a strict relationship or union. One only plays as long as he or she wants to. These online adult pc games do not have to be the last resort of those who cannot get sex in real life as some critics would claim. Instead, many couples are attracted as a new way of expressing themselves and their desires, some use cybersex as an alternative to outright cheating and even others use it to spice up an existing and active sex life. Online adult pc games appeal to persons of various situations in life. There are many different types and options so one can not get bored with this growing medium. Some internet users are skeptical but it never hurts to look or even try one. You have nothing to lose and lots or potential fun to have.
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Adult movies on demand are proving to be a fast, convenient resource for men and women to visualize their most wild, steamy horny fetish filled fantasies. But this does not come without some criticism. Since the beginning of the internet era there has been much criticism and concern about young people, including teens and children, who might able to access these materials which are in most cases intended for adult audiences only, in fact, it is illegal to target minors with pornographic materials and the consequences are quite serious should one or ones company get busted for featuring minors in any of their porno materials or get in trouble for featuring materials that cater or target people younger than 18 years of age. VOD otherwise known as adult video on demand is also not approved of by most religious groups. It is considered sinful by most religious groups to masturbate yet alone indulge in the saucy pleasures of adult videos on demand. Adult entertainment pornographic films are a safer alternative to sex though, and while the church also discourages sex before people are happily married, it does not make much more sense for them to discourage masturbation and porn because these might prevent people from doing the hardcore sin, in the churches opinion, of people engaging in pre marital relations. Pre marital relations to most religious folk would include anything outside the range of hugging and kissing. Realistically, once the teenage years roll around it is difficult for parents to monitor their online behavior let alone sexual behavior outside the house. For adults however, accessing porno chicks and dudes performing an array of sexual acrobatics is as easy as walking to refrigerator and grabbing a beer. There are tons of adult videos on demand to choose from, also classified as adult vod and might include fetish films from bathroom cameras to locker room cameras and other voyeuristic scenarios. Some men and women really enjoy watching flicks with a variety of interesting sex scenarios like role play and women dressed as teachers or medical practitioners. Besides religious objections to people using pornography as a tool for masturbation or simply as inspiring art, spouses or those in relationships with people who like to use porn for the aforementioned reasons may also object. Adult vod is accessible and easy and might be more erotic to mates in stale relationships, or those seeking thrills without necessarily wanting to venture too far from home.
Jesse Sousana's family has owned and operated WILDCAT ENTERPRISES for 25 years. The parking lot at this conspicuous blue and gold building on Fresno and G Street is rarely empty. Serving a mostly male, blue-collar clientele, Wildcat has been steadily expanding its selection and slashing prices since Sousana, 28, took over the family business two years ago. Wildcat has the largest and lowest priced selection of adult DVDs and videos in Fresno. "I get every new release, including the amateur stuff you see on the Internet. Everybody seems to love that stuff," Sousana explains. The racks and racks of DVDs substantiate his claims. Every genre imaginable is represented: from amateur to anime, Sousana is serious about meeting his clients' needs. He gets all the latest hard-to-find she-male releases, has a wide selection of swinger magazines (that include info on the scene in Fresno), offers a liberal rental policy (no credit card necessary), and even hosts an old fashioned, tangible message board. One poster announces, I want to be tickled. Wildcat's DVDs are by far the cheapest in town. A current Valentine's Day sale offers 3 adult DVDs for $20. Bring a receipt for any DVD purchased Monday through Friday back the following weekend and get 50% off your next DVD purchase. Sousana is a third generation porn man. He tells me stories about going to Hong Kong with his grandfather when he was seven years old. For being good while his grandfather conducted business, he got to pick out whatever toys he wanted from a Chinese factory. He also tells me how his grandfather was the first to offer adult movies by the minute in a video arcade. The booths at Wildcat don't have doors, and there is, thankfully, a "keep it in your pants" policy. "I try to make everyone feel comfortable," he says. "I try to always have at least one female working and one Spanish speaker." The store carries the one-of-a-kind designs of Wildcat employee Cha Cha, who makes many of the outfits Fresno strippers wear. Wildcat has a large selection of toys for men and women, and Sousana will steer you to the right device for your needs at the lowest price. On popular items like the Impulse Slimline Rabbit, Wildcat undercuts the competition by $10. Sousana is increasingly catering to couples, women, and the gay community. A hot item for couples is the Mini Magic vibrating cock ring. "Any couple I show it to, it's sold," says Sousana. The Mini Magic is priced at $12.99. But what's the best cock ring out there? "The blue rubber band that comes on broccoli - I'm not kidding." The DVD selection at Wildcat But perhaps you're new to the sex shop thing and aren't quite ready for such variety. G, GIFTS & GALLERY is good place for beginners. Opened in December, the Tower District spot is the third in a chain of accessible, female-friendly stores. The purple box on Van Ness just south of Olive carries lots of PG-rated gift items, such as cards, massage oils, Tom of Finland toile boxers, and rainbow gay pride trinkets. It also has G-rated purses, plush animals, and home dйcor items. Customers are welcomed by pumping dance music and video displays. The goodies you're really after are in the back. There is a tiny gay section, but mostly the toys are geared towards straight women. The staff will explain to you they carry the latest models, and their selection, while somewhat limited, covers most of the basics. The windowless back room has an overstuffed banquet on which to lounge while you examine the selection. G's DVD and video section is tiny, but it has a decent selection of instructional books, mostly for couples. If you're looking to purchase your first ever "pocket rocket," this is the place.
Am I Gay? I guess this is a question a lot of young men will have asked themselves during their confusing adolescent years; it's certainly one that every gay man will at some time have had to tackle, and come to terms with on discovering the true answer. Of course, there are the lucky ones - the majority - those people for whom their sexuality has never been in any doubt. They are the very people who, by their heterosexual appetite and acknowledged prowess with the opposite sex, may have initiated that desperate question in other minds. But to not be one of that majority, to not have the same appetite for the opposite sex, does not immediately make anyone gay. Times are changing slowly, perhaps too slowly, for most children still grow up in an overwhelmingly heterosexual world - a world that will by its very existence from an early age have instilled expectations and preconceived ideas in every boy's mind - so should the time come that he reaches puberty, and his juvenile years, and he finds that those expectations are not being met as they are by his friends, he becomes concerned. He begins to suspect that he is different to the mates that he grew up with - and it troubles him. But trouble is too weak a word. At this stage of human development to suddenly not be ranked along with one's peers can be devastating. The questioning and gnawing fears in a boy's mind may remain closely guarded secrets - because they have to be. Faced with this feeling of being different, young men may react in many different ways. Only a few will cope with the situation easily. Some may become reclusive; some may turn to bullying others; some to drink and drugs; and some may undoubtedly turn towards criminal behaviour to gain their much needed kudos - however, most will try to maintain an act: an appearance of being perfectly "normal". This act, and the feeling of a need to prove themselves to their family and friends, will often only exasperate the problem. And when thoughts for the same sex enter their minds, thoughts that they may believe to be bad or wrong, a great feeling of guilt can engulf them. It can be a very desperate time in a young man's life. It is a time when some may even come to consider suicide - and that, purely the result of the failings, the teachings and the expectations of a mainly ignorant heterosexual world, should never be! Puberty, and the working of the sexual equipment, arrives at different times for different people. There is nothing wrong or untoward about being a late developer - many races are won by those who had a poor start. And even once everything is found to be in working order, it is quite normal for the feelings and the desires that arrive around this time to be "strange", to say the least! The sudden explosion of hormones the body has to try to make some sense out of can for some bring forth quite peculiar urges, fascinations, and attractions. At this time it is not uncommon for those who will later be "normal" heterosexual men to have "a crush" on someone of the same sex. It may be a schoolmaster; it may be a friend - it could be anyone, there are no rules, and it may not just be the one person - it may be many. There is nothing wrong, and this is not the time to fear one's sexual orientation; more a time to consider its possibilities. For most who have arrived at this stage, they will have had no preparation for the alternative sexual orientations that life can deal out. Such is the failing of society, for around one in ten males will turn out to be gay, and around one in five males will at some time in their lives have gay sex. Each one of these people will be some proud parent's son. They could be anyone's son. These are facts that may be hard to accept by some people, but to life itself they are the "normal". Sexual orientation is not hereditary, neither can it be instilled by corruption, persuasion, lifestyle or by any other means - and no matter what anyone may tell you, or claim, it most definitely cannot be changed. It is what you are. Were it to be any different, then in a vastly heterosexual society, and with few gay people actually reproducing, by long before now there would have been no gay people left in the world. But it is a known fact that the percentage of homosexual people in the world has varied little throughout all history, and although we may yet not understand the reason for it, nature has seen fit to maintain this status quo. We now come to the crunch question: how do I know if I am gay? I suppose the simple answer is - you just know. But you do need to wait until all those hormones have settled down a bit before asking the question. Once that has happened the sexual desires and urges will be noticeably better fed and nourished by the thoughts and fantasies of either one or the other of the two sexes. Crudely put: whatever makes you "cum" the easiest and the best will give you the answer. For just a few people this may be equal, or it may alternate continuously throughout their lives, and they are what we term as being: bisexual. Gay, straight or bisexual, it matters not - you are you, and you are unique. Whatever sexuality you may be, no two people are ever exactly the same - not even identical twins. Be proud of who and what you are, and if you find that you are gay or bisexual then remember that that is quite normal in the great scheme of things, it is only some areas of society that still have a problem with this - and the problem is theirs, not yours. One of the biggest mysteries in the world today is why some people have a problem with another person's sexuality when you consider all the great names there have been throughout history that have been known not to be heterosexual. Great emperors, kings, war-lords, painters, writers, poets, musicians, composers, pop singers, fashion gurus, astrologers, philosophers, architects, engineers and many, many others all enjoying pride of place in history have been either gay or bisexual - the list is almost endless, and it even includes a pope or two! Their sexual orientation never hampered these people - it need not hamper you. Judy Garland is reputed to have said: "Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else." There could be no better advice. Another quote I love came from the late, great, and still sadly missed Dusty Springfield: "My sexuality has never been a problem to me but I think it has been for other people." There is nothing at all wrong with being gay, however it does come with some burdens that heterosexuals never have to face. There is the gay scene - known by all to be notoriously promiscuous - and although it is representative of less than a quarter of all gay people it is what a gay person will always be seen as being a part of by many uninformed heterosexual people. Then there is the whole "coming out" saga. Should you come out to family and friends, at work, to all and sundry, or not do it at all? Facing up to this issue can be traumatic for some people - and whatever you finally decide on as being best for you, even staying "in the closet", it will not be without some implications. These issues I will cover in separate articles - look out for them! - Michael.
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