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    Men s underwear and fertility

     

    The revolution in fashion has created a lot of changes in men's underwear. Designers every now and then, reinvent briefs and boxer shorts. The difference between the two is basically in the size and fit. Briefs are smaller, thus they fit perfectly to the body of men. On the other hand, boxers are baggy and cooler when used. Men's preference differs a lot in choosing the best between the two. Briefs are said to be sexy and defines the figure of men. Some use briefs because it is the traditional underwear. Others find boxer shorts very annoying especially when they use fitted pants. Boxer shorts are for the conservatives and for those who are uncomfortable with tightly fit underwear. There are more than enough reasons why some men use boxer shorts and why some men use briefs. Recently, a lot of arguments have been created as to which between the two will be beneficial to men's fertility. According to some, tight briefs generate a lot of heat. They say that heat can cause infertility that is why a lot of brief patrons have shifted from their usual underwear. Another viable reason is that briefs prevent movement of the penis. It is said that constant exercise by the penis will help in stimulating and erecting it. In addition, the blood will flow more freely enabling the penis to serve its purpose. With the influx of arguments about the bad effects of briefs to men's fertility, there has not been any significant change of the part of men in terms of underwear preference. In fact, brief manufacturers insist that such claims are untrue as proven by some studies, which showed no significant difference in the use of briefs and boxer shorts to man fertility. According to a study, sperm sterilization can be caused by sudden increase of temperature in the testes. So much heat will destroy some of the sperm cells until a man reaches infertility. In the experiment, men were asked to wear briefs and boxer shorts. The most important factor was the difference of the heat in the testes when using a brief or a boxer short. The results suggested that the claim on briefs causing heat is purely exaggeration. Briefs do not generate enough heat to disturb the balance in men's reproductive organs. To boot, there is no significant distinction observed in terms of the temperature of the testes after using a brief and a boxer short. Moreover, the preference to use a brief or a boxer short has no effect in the fertility of men. Therefore, the advice given to men to use boxer shorts instead of briefs is proven as scientifically and medically baseless. The facts clearly indicate that choosing between a brief and a boxer short should not be based on fertility issues. Since, there are no significant differences, style and comfort will be the determinants in selecting the best underwear. Brief users have no reasons to panic and boxer shorts users have nothing to argue about. The only thing that should separate both is the design and nothing else.

         
    Multiple orgasms versus ejaculatory orgasms

     

    Any man can become "multi-orgasmic". It only requires a basic understanding of male sexuality and certain techniques. Most men’s sexuality is focused on the goal of ejaculating, rather than on the actual process of lovemaking. Once a man becomes multi-orgasmic he will not only be able to better satisfy himself, but also more effectively satisfy his partner. Technically, multiple orgasms occur in succession, without complete loss of sexual arousal in between. Women are blessed with the ability to have multiple orgasms. Not many are aware that men with proper training, can actually do the same. In the case of women, multiple orgasm means resuming sexual stimulation shortly after a first orgasmic climax, usually immediately or within a few minutes, so that a second climax may be reached. If the woman does indeed experience further climaxes during the same sexual encounter, she is said to be multi-orgasmic. Most men mistakenly believe that being able to regain their erection as soon as possible after ejaculation and reaching another climax within some arbitrary period of time qualifies as being multi-orgasmic. This is false because the true multi-orgasmic male does not lose his erection between orgasms. Multiple male orgasms include only orgasm and not ejaculation. The only exception being, when ejaculation accompanies the final orgasm in a multi-orgasmic experience. Before continuing it would be important to better understand the technical process involved in the " Sexual Arousal Cycle" * 1. Excitement Phase · Vasocongestion · Erection · Increased heart rate · Partial testicular elevation and size increase (Tumescence) · Nipple erection 2. Plateau Phase · Further increase in penis tip size and testicles · Full testicular elevation · Purple hue on corona (although not always) · Cowper’s gland (pre-cum) secretions · Hyperventilation 3. Orgasm Phase (Consists of Emission & Ejaculation) Emission · Sperm and fluid are expelled from the vas deferens, seminal vesicles and prostate gland, causing seminal fluid fluid to collect at the base of the urethral bulb near the prostate. · Myotonia – muscular rigidity just before the release tension · Blood pressure and respiratory rate increase further. Ejaculatory Inevitability (point of no return) There is a consciousness of imminent ejaculation. Ejaculation · Bladder sphincter closes tightly · Rhythmic contractions of the prostate, perinial muscles and penile shaft propel semen outward. · A slight clouding of consciousness 4. Resolution Phase · Erection loss · Testes descend and scrotum thins · Reversal in myotonia and vasocongestion · Reduced heart rate and lowered blood pressure. Multiple orgasms versus Ejaculatory orgasms Both begin in the same way, moving from arousal until a point near ejaculation or "point of no return". At this point a man will experience a series of genital contractions lasting three to five seconds. These contractions are "pelvic orgasms" and at first feel like a "fluttering" or mild release of pressure. Once identified and controlled, these sensations will become progressively more intense. When approaching "the point of no return" the goal is not to crest over into ejaculation but to decrease stimulation, just long enough to gain control over the arousal rate. Effective control can be achieved by squeezing the PC muscles. Learning to control the PC muscles is essential to sexual health and stamina. In the diagram below, the plateau stage is represented roughly as a heightened state of arousal which will eventually lead into orgasm if stimulation is allowed to continue. Notice how the two charts differ. In a typical singular orgasm including ejaculation, the plateau phase is reached and passed fairly quickly as the orgasm subsides and ejaculation occurs. In a multiple orgasmic encounter, the plateau phase is reached and sustained after the initial orgasm and between the next orgasm. The successive orgasms are also slightly stronger than the previous ones, if and when the man decides to ejaculate with the final orgasm. Ejaculation is optional, after several orgasms it may be decided not to ejaculate at all. In which case, the arousal pattern closely follows that of a woman and gradually declines over about an hour's time instead of declining very sharply after ejaculation. How is multiple orgasm possible? The male and female sexual "response cycles" are strikingly similar. The primary difference between the two is male ejaculation. Multi-orgasmic women are able to have successive orgasms if stimulation is resumed shortly after the first orgasm because they do not ejaculate (not withstanding reports that some women are able to ejaculate, as this has never been adequately scientifically explained). Ejaculation initiates the refractory period in males. During this time, most men are unable to achieve another erection or even receive further stimulation due to the loss of sexual tension and the penis is usually too sensitive to touch. Since women are not biologically programmed to ejaculate, they do not have this annoying feature and are able to learn about and achieve multiple orgasms much easier than men. The first key to understanding how men can have multiple orgasms is to understand that orgasm and ejaculation are distinct events, which one can learn to distinguish and separate. Most men have always accepted orgasm and ejaculation as one in the same because they happen in such rapid succession, orgasm beginning slightly before (ejaculation) then tapering off during ejaculation. The second key to navigating the path to multiple orgasm is gaining the ability to separate orgasm and ejaculation. The ability to separate these events involves the pubococcygeal muscle, or pelvic floor muscle, or "PC muscle" as it’s more commonly known. You may know this muscle for its ability to stop the flow of urine in mid-stream. If stopping the flow is difficult, you have a weak PC muscle. If this is the case you will need to work on strengthening the PC muscle before you'll be able to have multiple orgasms. If you squeeze or contract the PC muscle you should feel like everything deep in your pelvis is being drawn upward. Breathing Exercises · Sit in a comfortable position relaxing the shoulders. · Place hands on the abdomen, just below the belly button. · Inhale deeply. Breathing deeply through the nose, so that the belly pushes out. · Exhale fully. Exhale to a point to a point of which the belly contracts back to the spine. The pelvis and testicles may feel as if they are pulling up slightly. · Repeat this exercise from 9 to 36 times. Preparing yourself Having multiple orgasms as a male is pretty remarkable, but it will take a great deal of preparation. As mentioned earlier, one of the first steps is to discover the PC muscle. It’s essential to become intimately familiar with this muscle in order to learn to control it very precisely. Some of this control will come with experience, but most will come by strengthening it through regular exercise. Once it’s been discovered where it is (most easily while urinating), it can be exercised anywhere, without anyone knowing. Practicing · You can begin experimenting on your own at first (while masturbating). · Make yourself comfortable and then begin masturbating as you might normally. · Stop just before you reach the point of no return (the point where you would ejaculate). Contract (squeeze) and hold your PC muscle for a count of ten. · Allow yourself relax and take a few minutes break. · Begin masturbating again, this time bringing yourself just a bit closer to the point of no return, again contracting your PC muscle. · Continue masturbating while paying very special attention to your own state of arousal and emotional feelings. The key here is to learn more about your own sexual response so that down the road you'll be more in control of it. Stopping "right" before ejaculation Continue masturbating, except this time, keep going until you reach orgasm. Right as you orgasm you should notice several contractions that signal the beginning of ejaculation in the base of your penis and perhaps even deeper inside your pelvis. As these contractions begin or preferably just before (but still during the orgasm), stop all stimulation to the penis and squeeze the PC muscle tight. You'll probably feel yourself trying to ejaculate, but hold it back! Squeezing your PC muscle effectively shuts off your ejaculation, if you are successful, and erases the refractory period. A small amount semen may seep out, but not with any of the force you might normally experience during an unrestrained singular orgasm. If you were able to hold off ejaculating after your orgasm, start masturbating again now. It should feel as though you are still very aroused, not like you just ejaculated. You should be able to continue for a short time until you have another orgasm. If you were unable to keep from ejaculating the first time, either your PC muscle isn't strong enough yet or you squeezed it at the wrong time. If you begin squeezing too late after the ejaculatory contractions have already begun, it is nearly impossible to shut stop the process completely. With practice you will learn the timing. Partnering There are many possible techniques you can use to greatly increase your success in becoming multi-orgasmic. Perhaps the greatest technique you can practice is to share your experiences in becoming a multi-orgasmic man with your romantic partner. If you are eventually successful, this can be a wonderful opportunity for you to significantly increase the pleasure you both receive during lovemaking. Overcoming problems Undoubtedly the biggest obstacle most men will report when trying to become multi-orgasmic is failure to squeeze their PC muscle sufficiently during orgasm to ward off ejaculation. You may feel some contractions, but do not stop squeezing at this point because a few ejaculatory contractions are likely even if you are successful in eventually stopping them. If you are successful, the contractions will stop before you ejaculate and you should be able to resume stimulation without a loss of sensitivity, as would be present during the refractory period after ejaculation. Another common problem many men may report with these techniques is failing to determine exactly where the boundaries of plateau, orgasm, and ejaculation begin and end. If you cannot determine the difference between orgasm and ejaculation, a key to becoming multi-orgasmic, you can only succeed by accident and not intentionally. Some men may try to stimulate themselves very quickly and rigorously, and this is not the best way to become aware of your personal level of sexual awareness. Taking the stimulation slower rather than faster will allow you to discover your personal boundaries between arousal, plateau, and orgasm more easily. With these discoveries you will have a much greater chance of learning when to squeeze your PC muscle, when to stop stimulation, and when to relax your PC muscle and resume stimulation to experience another orgasm. Pelvic pressure after arousal. Pressure in the pelvic area is a natural result of increased blood flow into the genital area. If the level of this pressure is uncomfortable, it will be helpful to breathe deeply, elevate the lower extremities and massage the perineum and testicles lightly. This will help the body assimilate the energy from the testicles to the rest of the body. It would be best also to stay in a reclined position for 5 - 10 minutes. Other Benefits It is quite possible that if you have other sexual problems such as premature ejaculation, learning to become multi-orgasmic will help you tremendously during lovemaking. Not only will you be able to greatly prolong the session by suppressing ejaculation until you choose, but you will be free to release your worries and anxiety and focus more on pleasing your partner. The list of positive effects can be nearly endless! Age Some men may wonder if age can have any effect on the chances of success in becoming multi-orgasmic. There's no reason why sexually mature men of all ages shouldn't see the same high rate of success, assuming they are sexually active and have a high level of personal sexual awareness. If you have no trouble reaching singular orgasms either by yourself or with a partner, then learning how to become multi-orgasmic may only be a matter of patience, determination, and effort. If you do have trouble having singular orgasms or opening up sexually with yourself and your partner, however, then perhaps there are other issues that you need to deal with before multiple orgasms will be a possibility for you. This guide is not prepared to address any problems with orgasms beyond the relatively simple matters discussed in this section. If you are experiencing more serious problems, please consider consulting your healthcare provider or a therapist. They should be able to provide you with the professional advice that we are not equipped to handle. Ancient Ideas The concept of being a multi-orgasmic male is not new at all. Ancient Chinese philosophers called Taoists, have known about this and many other profound sexual concepts and practices thousands of years ago. Many of these sexual secrets remain surprisingly unknown, even now in the age of sexual awareness and liberation. Despite the fact that during the 1940s and 1950s several sex researchers in the West studied and confirmed the ability of males to experience multiple orgasms. Even at present, the amount of sexual ignorance, misdirection, and confusion is astonishing. In Closing The bottom line is that your ability to have multiple orgasms depends on your overall sexual awareness, and the strength and control of your PC muscle among many other factors. As with all noteworthy achievements, this is not something that can necessarily be accomplished all at once. While reading this guide and having multiple orgasms in one night is certainly possible, you should understand that it could take several weeks or even months before you succeed. Your results will depend on your own personal effort and determination.

         
    Myths about the female orgasm

     

    Let me share with you two of the most common myths about the female orgasm Myth 1: Women can reach orgasm more easily if her partner has a large penis. Men who have worried for eons about the size of their penis can relax. The truth is that size really doesn't matter all that much. Since only the first two inches of a woman's vagina are sensitive to stimulation, anything over that amount is kind of useful during intercourse, at least from the woman's physical perspective. In fact, when men are overly concerned with the size of their penis and whether it's sufficient, their minds aren't focused on pleasuring their partner and that is no way to experience female orgasm. A survey done by the Kinsey Institute found that the average size of an erect penis measured from the tip to where it connects with the rest of the body is 6.16 inches (15.65 centimeters) in length. The girth of an erect penis is 4.84 inches (12.29 centimeters) on average. Both of these statistics are come as a surprise to men and to women who have been convinced by our culture (and possibly pornographic movies and magazines) that the average size of an erect penis is eight or nine inches. That same Kinsey study actually found that less than 2% of men have penises which meet that requirement. Remember whether a man's penis size is below, above, or just average, he still has the ability to help his partner reach orgasm and that is far more worthy of praise than a few extra inches of penis. Myth 2: If a woman does not have an orgasm, she did not enjoy the sex. Most women have had the experience of being asked by their partner during sex if they are going to "get off." This myth is the reason for that question. The majority of men believe that sex without an orgasm is not pleasurable for a woman, but that's not true. First of all, even though orgasms are a wonderful part of the sexual experience, there is more involved than that. For couples, sex is generally a physical expression of love and closeness. Many women report enjoying this part of the experience immensely even when it is not followed by an orgasm. Second, just because there's no climax that doesn't mean the rest of the experience didn't feel good. An orgasm is an intense pleasurable feeling but it is not the sole source of sexual pleasure for a woman. Just as men enjoy the actual act of intercourse, so do women. Third, when men ask about whether or not a woman is going to climax, he is putting pressure on her to deliver and this generally leads to faking orgasms which actually detracts from her experience and could detract from his as well if he discovers the truth. Furthermore, when a partner is truly in tune with a woman's body, they don't have to ask that question: the signs of a building orgasm are unmistakable and cannot be faked.

         
    Narcissists sex and fidelity

     

    Question: Are narcissists mostly hyperactive or hypoactive sexually and to what extent are they likely to be unfaithful in marriage? Answer: Broadly speaking, there are two types of narcissists, loosely corresponding to the two categories mentioned in the question. Sex for the narcissist is an instrument designed to increase the number of Sources of Narcissistic Supply. If it happens to be the most efficient weapon in the narcissist's arsenal – he makes profligate use of it. In other words: if the narcissist cannot obtain adoration, admiration, approval, applause, or any other kind of attention by other means (e. g., intellectually) – he resorts to sex. He then become a satyr (or a nymphomaniac): indiscriminately engages in sex with multiple partners. His sex partners are considered by him to be objects - sources of Narcissistic Supply. It is through the processes of successful seduction and sexual conquest that the narcissist derives his badly needed narcissistic "fix". The narcissist is likely to perfect his techniques of courting and regard his sexual exploits as a form of art. He usually exposes this side of him – in great detail – to others, to an audience, expecting to win their approval and admiration. Because the Narcissistic Supply in his case is in the very act of conquest and (what he perceives to be) subordination – the narcissist is forced to hop from one partner to another. Some narcissists prefer "complicated" situations. If men – they prefer virgins, married women, frigid or lesbian women, etc. The more "difficult" the target – the more rewarding the narcissistic outcome. Such a narcissist may be married, but he does not regard his extra-marital affairs as either immoral or a breach of any explicit or implicit contract between him and his spouse. He keeps explaining to anyone who cares to listen that his other sexual partners are nothing to him, meaningless, that he is merely taking advantage of them and that they do not constitute a threat and should not be taken seriously by his spouse. In his mind a clear separation exists between the honest "woman of his life" (really, a saint) and the whores that he is having sex with. With the exception of the meaningful women in his life, he tends to view all females in a bad light. His behaviour, thus, achieves a dual purpose: securing Narcissistic Supply, on the one hand – and re-enacting old, unresolved conflicts and traumas (abandonment by Primary Objects and the Oedipal conflict, for instance). When inevitably abandoned by his spouse – the narcissist is veritably shocked and hurt. This is the sort of crisis, which might drive him to psychotherapy. Still, deep inside, he feels compelled to continue to pursue precisely the same path. His abandonment is cathartic, purifying. Following a period of deep depression and suicidal ideation – the narcissist is likely to feel cleansed, invigorated, unshackled, ready for the next round of hunting. But there is another type of narcissist. He also has bouts of sexual hyperactivity in which he trades sexual partners and tends to regard them as objects. However, with him, this is a secondary behaviour. It appears mainly after major narcissistic traumas and crises. A painful divorce, a devastating personal financial upheaval – and this type of narcissist adopts the view that the "old" (intellectual) solutions do not work anymore. He frantically gropes and searches for new ways to attract attention, to restore his False Ego (=his grandiosity) and to secure a subsistence level of Narcissistic Supply. Sex is handy and is a great source of the right kind of supply: it is immediate, sexual partners are interchangeable, the solution is comprehensive (it encompasses all the aspects of the narcissist's being), natural, highly charged, adventurous, and pleasurable. Thus, following a life crisis, the cerebral narcissist is likely to be deeply involved in sexual activities – very frequently and almost to the exclusion of all other matters. However, as the memories of the crisis fade, as the narcissistic wounds heal, as the Narcissistic Cycle re-commences and the balance is restored – this second type of narcissist reveals his true colours. He abruptly loses interest in sex and in all his sexual partners. The frequency of his sexual activities deteriorates from a few times a day – to a few times a year. He reverts to intellectual pursuits, sports, politics, voluntary activities – anything but sex. This kind of narcissist is afraid of encounters with the opposite sex and is even more afraid of emotional involvement or commitment that he fancies himself prone to develop following a sexual encounter. In general, such a narcissist withdraws not only sexually – but also emotionally. If married – he loses all overt interest in his spouse, sexual or otherwise. He confines himself to his world and makes sure that he is sufficiently busy to preclude any interaction with his nearest (and supposedly dearest). He becomes completely immersed in "big projects", lifelong plans, a vision, or a cause – all very rewarding narcissistically and all very demanding and time consuming. In such circumstances, sex inevitably becomes an obligation, a necessity, or a maintenance chore reluctantly undertaken to preserve his sources of supply (his family or household). The cerebral narcissist does not enjoy sex and by far prefers masturbation or "objective", emotionless sex, like going to prostitutes. Actually, he uses his mate or spouse as an "alibi", a shield against the attentions of other women, an insurance policy which preserves his virile image while making it socially and morally commendable for him to avoid any intimate or sexual contact with others. Ostentatiously ignoring women other than his wife (a form of aggression) he feels righteous in saying: "I am a faithful husband". At the same time, he feels hostility towards his spouse for ostensibly preventing him from freely expressing his sexuality, for isolating him from carnal pleasures. The narcissist's thwarted logic goes something like this: "I am married/attached to this woman. Therefore, I am not allowed to be in any form of contact with other women which might be interpreted as more than casual or businesslike. This is why I refrain from having anything to do with women – because I am being faithful, as opposed to most other immoral men. However, I do not like this situation. I envy my free peers. They can have as much sex and romance as they want to – while I am confined to this marriage, chained by my wife, my freedom curbed. I am angry at her and I will punish her by abstaining from having sex with her." Thus frustrated, the narcissist minimises all manner of intercourse with his close circle (spouse, children, parents, siblings, very intimate friends): sexual, verbal, or emotional. He limits himself to the rawest exchanges of information and isolates himself socially. His reclusion insures against a future hurt and avoids the intimacy that he so dreads. But, again, this way he also secures abandonment and the replay of old, unresolved, conflicts. Finally, he really is left alone by everyone, with no Secondary Sources of Supply. In his quest to find new sources, he again embarks on ego-mending bouts of sex, followed by the selection of a spouse or a mate (a Secondary Narcissistic Supply Source). Then the cycle re-commence: a sharp drop in sexual activity, emotional absence and cruel detachment leading to abandonment. The second type of narcissist is mostly sexually loyal to his spouse. He alternates between what appears to be hyper-sexuality and asexuality (really, forcefully repressed sexuality). In the second phase, he feels no sexual urges, bar the most basic. He is, therefore, not compelled to "cheat" upon his mate, betray her, or violate the marital vows. He is much more interested in preventing a worrisome dwindling of the kind of Narcissistic Supply that really matters. Sex, he says to himself, contentedly, is for those who can do no better. Somatic narcissists tend to verbal exhibitionism. They tend to brag in graphic details about their conquests and exploits. In extreme cases, they might introduce "live witnesses" and revert to total, classical exhibitionism. This sits well with their tendency to "objectify" their sexual partners, to engage in emotionally-neutral sex (group sex, for instance) and to indulge in autoerotic sex. The exhibitionist sees himself reflected in the eyes of the beholders. This constitutes the main sexual stimulus, this is what turns him on. This outside "look" is also what defines the narcissist. There is bound to be a connection. One (the exhibitionist) may be the culmination, the "pure case" of the other (the narcissist).

         
    On the incest taboo

     

    "...An experience with an adult may seem merely a curious and pointless game, or it may be a hideous trauma leaving lifelong psychic scars. In many cases the reaction of parents and society determines the child's interpretation of the event. What would have been a trivial and soon-forgotten act becomes traumatic if the mother cries, the father rages, and the police interrogate the child." (Encyclopedia Britannica, 2004 Edition) In contemporary thought, incest is invariably associated with child abuse and its horrific, long-lasting, and often irreversible consequences. Incest is not such a clear-cut matter as it has been made out to be over millennia of taboo. Many participants claim to have enjoyed the act and its physical and emotional consequences. It is often the result of seduction. In some cases, two consenting and fully informed adults are involved. Many types of relationships, which are defined as incestuous, are between genetically unrelated parties (a stepfather and a daughter), or between fictive kin or between classificatory kin (that belong to the same matriline or patriline). In certain societies (the Native American or the Chinese) it is sufficient to carry the same family name (=to belong to the same clan) and marriage is forbidden. Some incest prohibitions relate to sexual acts - others to marriage. In some societies, incest is mandatory or prohibited, according to the social class (Bali, Papua New Guinea, Polynesian and Melanesian islands). In others, the Royal House started a tradition of incestuous marriages, which was later imitated by lower classes (Ancient Egypt, Hawaii, Pre-Columbian Mixtec). Some societies are more tolerant of consensual incest than others (Japan, India until the 1930's, Australia). The list is long and it serves to demonstrate the diversity of attitudes towards this most universal of taboos. Generally put, we can say that a prohibition to have sex with or marry a related person should be classified as an incest prohibition. Perhaps the strongest feature of incest has been hitherto downplayed: that it is, essentially, an autoerotic act. Having sex with a first-degree blood relative is like having sex with oneself. It is a Narcissistic act and like all acts Narcissistic, it involves the objectification of the partner. The incestuous Narcissist over-values and then devalues his sexual partner. He is devoid of empathy (cannot see the other's point of view or put himself in her shoes). For an in depth treatment of Narcissism and its psychosexual dimension, see: "Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited" and "Frequently Asked Questions". Paradoxically, it is the reaction of society that transforms incest into such a disruptive phenomenon. The condemnation, the horror, the revulsion and the attendant social sanctions interfere with the internal processes and dynamics of the incestuous family. It is from society that the child learns that something is horribly wrong, that he should feel guilty, and that the offending parent is a defective role model. As a direct result, the formation of the child's Superego is stunted and it remains infantile, ideal, sadistic, perfectionist, demanding and punishing. The child's Ego, on the other hand, is likely to be replaced by a False Ego version, whose job it is to suffer the social consequences of the hideous act. To sum up: society's reactions in the case of incest are pathogenic and are most likely to produce a Narcissistic or a Borderline patient. Dysempathic, exploitative, emotionally labile, immature, and in eternal search for Narcissistic Supply – the child becomes a replica of his incestuous and socially-castigated parent. If so, why did human societies develop such pathogenic responses? In other words, why is incest considered a taboo in all known human collectives and cultures? Why are incestuous liaisons treated so harshly and punitively? Freud said that incest provokes horror because it touches upon our forbidden, ambivalent emotions towards members of our close family. This ambivalence covers both aggression towards other members (forbidden and punishable) and (sexual) attraction to them (doubly forbidden and punishable). Edward Westermarck proffered an opposite view that the domestic proximity of the members of the family breeds sexual repulsion (the epigenetic rule known as the Westermarck effect) to counter naturally occurring genetic sexual attraction. The incest taboo simply reflects emotional and biological realities within the family rather than aiming to restrain the inbred instincts of its members, claimed Westermarck. Though much-disputed by geneticists, some scholars maintain that the incest taboo may have been originally designed to prevent the degeneration of the genetic stock of the clan or tribe through intra-family breeding (closed endogamy). But, even if true, this no longer applies. In today's world incest rarely results in pregnancy and the transmission of genetic material. Sex today is about recreation as much as procreation. Good contraceptives should, therefore, encourage incestuous, couples. In many other species inbreeding or straightforward incest are the norm. Finally, in most countries, incest prohibitions apply also to non-genetically-related people. It seems, therefore, that the incest taboo was and is aimed at one thing in particular: to preserve the family unit and its proper functioning. Incest is more than a mere manifestation of a given personality disorder or a paraphilia (incest is considered by many to be a subtype of pedophilia). It harks back to the very nature of the family. It is closely entangled with its functions and with its contribution to the development of the individual within it. The family is an efficient venue for the transmission of accumulated property as well as information - both horizontally (among family members) and vertically (down the generations). The process of socialization largely relies on these familial mechanisms, making the family the most important agent of socialization by far. The family is a mechanism for the allocation of genetic and material wealth. Worldly goods are passed on from one generation to the next through succession, inheritance and residence. Genetic material is handed down through the sexual act. It is the mandate of the family to increase both by accumulating property and by marrying outside the family (exogamy). Clearly, incest prevents both. It preserves a limited genetic pool and makes an increase of material possessions through intermarriage all but impossible. The family's roles are not merely materialistic, though. One of the main businesses of the family is to teach to its members self control, self regulation and healthy adaptation. Family members share space and resources and siblings share the mother's emotions and attention. Similarly, the family educates its young members to master their drives and to postpone the self-gratification which attaches to acting upon them. The incest taboo conditions children to control their erotic drive by abstaining from ingratiating themselves with members of the opposite sex within the same family. There could be little question that incest constitutes a lack of control and impedes the proper separation of impulse (or stimulus) from action. Additionally, incest probably interferes with the defensive aspects of the family's existence. It is through the family that aggression is legitimately channeled, expressed and externalized. By imposing discipline and hierarchy on its members, the family is transformed into a cohesive and efficient war machine. It absorbs economic resources, social status and members of other families. It forms alliances and fights other clans over scarce goods, tangible and intangible. This efficacy is undermined by incest. It is virtually impossible to maintain discipline and hierarchy in an incestuous family where some members assume sexual roles not normally theirs. Sex is an expression of power – emotional and physical. The members of the family involved in incest surrender power and assume it out of the regular flow patterns that have made the family the formidable apparatus that it is. These new power politics weaken the family, both internally and externally. Internally, emotive reactions (such as the jealousy of other family members) and clashing authorities and responsibilities are likely to undo the delicate unit. Externally, the family is vulnerable to ostracism and more official forms of intervention and dismantling. Finally, the family is an identity endowment mechanism. It bestows identity upon its members. Internally, the members of the family derive meaning from their position in the family tree and its "organization chart" (which conform to societal expectations and norms). Externally, through exogamy, by incorporating "strangers", the family absorbs other identities and thus enhances social solidarity (Claude Levy-Strauss) at the expense of the solidarity of the nuclear, original family. Exogamy, as often noted, allows for the creation of extended alliances. The "identity creep" of the family is in total opposition to incest. The latter increases the solidarity and cohesiveness of the incestuous family – but at the expense of its ability to digest and absorb other identities of other family units. Incest, in other words, adversely affects social cohesion and solidarity. Lastly, as aforementioned, incest interferes with well-established and rigid patterns of inheritance and property allocation. Such disruption is likely to have led in primitive societies to disputes and conflicts - including armed clashes and deaths. To prevent such recurrent and costly bloodshed was one of the intentions of the incest taboo. The more primitive the society, the more strict and elaborate the set of incest prohibitions and the fiercer the reactions of society to violations. It appears that the less violent the dispute settlement methods and mechanisms in a given culture – the more lenient the attitude to incest. The incest taboo is, therefore, a cultural trait. Protective of the efficient mechanism of the family, society sought to minimize disruption to its activities and to the clear flows of authority, responsibilities, material wealth and information horizontally and vertically. Incest threatened to unravel this magnificent creation - the family. Alarmed by the possible consequences (internal and external feuds, a rise in the level of aggression and violence) – society introduced the taboo. It came replete with physical and emotional sanctions: stigmatization, revulsion and horror, imprisonment, the demolition of the errant and socially mutant family cell. As long as societies revolve around the relegation of power, its sharing, its acquisition and dispensation – there will always exist an incest taboo. But in a different societal and cultural setting, it is conceivable not to have such a taboo. We can easily imagine a society where incest is extolled, taught, and practiced - and out-breeding is regarded with horror and revulsion. The incestuous marriages among members of the royal households of Europe were intended to preserve the familial property and expand the clan's territory. They were normative, not aberrant. Marrying an outsider was considered abhorrent. An incestuous society - where incest is the norm - is conceivable even today. Two out of many possible scenarios: 1. "The Lot Scenario" A plague or some other natural disaster decimate the population of planet Earth. People remain alive only in isolated clusters, co-habiting only with their closest kin. Surely incestuous procreation is preferable to virtuous extermination. Incest becomes normative. Incest is as entrenched a taboo as cannibalism. Yet, it is better to eat the flesh of your dead football team mates than perish high up on the Andes (a harrowing tale of survival recounted in the book and eponymous film, "Alive"). 2. The Egyptian Scenario Resources become so scarce that family units scramble to keep them exclusively within the clan. Exogamy - marrying outside the clan - amounts to a unilateral transfer of scarce resources to outsiders and strangers. Incest becomes an economic imperative. An incestuous society would be either utopian or dystopian, depending on the reader's point of view - but that it is possible is doubtless.

         
    Online sex games

     

    They can also come in the form of variation of conventional online games such as card games with a sexual twist. There are multiplayer games or games that can be played with a computer generated character. It can be in a controlled setting with a theme or a very open-ended type game. There is something for everyone as games are made for persons of various sexual orientations, even bisexuals. No matter the type of game, there is fun to be had by adults using online sex games. Online sex games are available with varied levels of interaction. They can be as as you want or can be require very little input from the player, consisting more of video-type content. Virtual characters can be personalized and selecting what they look like and wear, the types of activities they engage in, what they say or the situations they find themselves in. Online sex games can also involve actual interaction with real persons versus playing against the computer. This can involves typed interaction or actual spoken and visual interaction using microphones and webcams. It is the new way to meet and date persons while attaining the optional, additional benefits. Men can enjoy instantaneous sex if they want and women can take it slower if thats what they wish to do, vice versa. Some games allow you to access and update your virtual avatar in the online adult game on a continuous basis. Online adult games can be testing grounds for the real world. Although online adult games in no way replace other social mediums persons may use these interactions to build confidence or to compensate for temporary periods of loneliness. Characters in the realm of online gaming can project a stable environment in which gamers can feel safe, satisfied and in control. The realm of online sex games is so varied that there is something to suit every type of individual or need. The number of games and features keeps growing to satisfy the wishes of gamers worldwide. Playing an online sex game does not indicate that one is sex deprived or a sex freak. Rather, in many cases it is simply used to spice up or complement an active sex life. These games can be used as a facilitator for cybersex among couples in a long distance relationship, for example. It can also be used as a medium through which fantasies that they are too shy to enact in real life can be acted out via the internet. It can be a couple's activity used to bring the two together in an intimate way. On the other hand, it can also be an anonymous and discreet way for persons to interact sexually with strangers, or new acquaintances. Online sex games are made for adults to enjoy with each other can are very different from childish games. The aim is for the participants to have fun in an adult way, responsible but exciting way.

         
    Online sexual entertainment

     

    The development of the Internet has brought us, the day-to-day users interesting and exciting services that we can enjoy in exchange for a small fee or even for free as some websites don’t require payment. Searching for intimate entertainment online is now very easy with the help of Internet based sex cams that offer services for enthusiasts that are looking for something new and exciting at the same time. Such websites offer reviews of many online adult webcams, free chats as well as other services like advanced searching options and well-thought divided categories so that the user can easily find exactly what he or she is looking for. Live webcam girls are one of the most popular searches over the Internet and websites that offer this kind of service have a wide variety of listings regarding this subject so that users can enjoy these services. The largest live webcam stripping girls providers can be found on these websites and the offer is rich; everybody will surely find the right service he or she desires. These websites that offer a useful guide regarding online sexual entertainment also have a section of recommended websites which they consider to be not only useful but interesting and exciting as well, having a look at one of these recommended websites is highly advisable as you will never know what you might stumble upon, something new and unique that you will want to try over and over again, without getting the risk of bored. Getting back to the categories, it definitely helps the average user to find the desired webcam stripping girls; some of the most popular categories are: girls alone, fetish, matures, couples/groups and other interesting categories as well. These are only the main categories, there are other interesting subdivisions that you might consider having a look if the main categories don’t offer you exactly what you are searching for. For example, let’s take the girls alone section, this is a rather general limitation that is why subdivisions like blondes, short hair, over 20 years and other similar subdivisions can help finding the most suitable live webcam girls. Gay visitors can also use these websites as the sex cam providers offer endless services for them and they will surely find something for their taste that they will find very interesting and most likely, they will have a second look. As you can see, these websites can offer the perfect tool for searching fast and easy for the most suitable live webcam girls on the web. Luckily, some of these websites are totally free, making them the ideal way of finding online sexual entertainment. Besides the above mentioned services, such websites offer totally free online chat that can be very captivating and interesting. If you ever get tired of listening music, playing video games, watching movies and other forms of entertainment don’t forget about these websites that offer totally different experienced that you definitely haven’t tried before and most likely, you won’t regret spending time on such a website that offers unique online experiences for adult amateurs.

         
    Phone sex with the authority

     

    Thephonesexauthority or 1888 8kiTTen ( 1888 854 8836) a premiere site in phone sex that has been combined a variety of beautiful experts and, a unlimited amount of fantasies. The fantasies offered by well experienced professionals who relate with the customer on a private, discrete, and live telephone conversation. The experts offered on this site are masters in what they offer, making adjustments just for every individual client wants and needs. Often taking time out to talk to there clients and on a personal level to discover and understand exactly what the caller is trying to obtain during their fantasy. There are also different instructions and tips often suggested on how one can design, develop and customize there own fantasies. If a caller so happens not to know what exactly he is looking for or is looking for a particular fantasy. Friendly dispatchers are available for casual talk, and advisement on which expert would be the best option for the caller. The site has been tailored to make sure the user comes first, from the navigation to detailed instructions on the process of making a call. There are also a continuous blog which updates the users on there favorite experts recent latest activities. Blogs on the entry page is a great way to find out, which expert a caller will connect with best. Entries are made by the professionals themselves and written up by them, then posted onto a single page full of other recent entries. Some callers even prefer that their expert talk about them in there entry, to help establish a bond between the client and his favorite expert. There are several security measures taken to ensure that the callers personal fantasies stay private to them, and the expert. Which follows, none of any part of the callers conversation with the expert is recorded. All sessions are unique to previous sessions and or live. Dispatchers are placed to aid the caller with any issues or concerns that they might have. Billing is discrete, there is no contact or solicitation presented to any clients. All charges are billed as Arkaos World Wide, with cheap rates, and lots of discounts. Available to the caller are several options, a caller can speak to multiple experts at once if they so choose, mixed male and female expert options are also available. Time with the expert is bought in 5 minute time blocks, before they are sent threw to the person or persons of their choice. Time blocks is often preferred over per min charges, to prevent exhaustion. The caller chooses a set time goal and knows exactly how much time they have to reach there goal. Callers come first and everything is done to ensure the best possible experience.

         
    Play 3d sex games

     

    Not only can you participate in the action, play with real persons and control what goes on but you can do it from the comfort of your home in a way that seems more real than ever before. 3D sex games are attractive diversions even for persons who do not generally like online games due to their impersonal nature. New levels and types of interaction are being made available in an attempt to simulate the real world as best as possible. Devices such as webcams and microphones can be used in some games to interact with the characters or with the other real players. Traditional devices such as they keyboard and mouse are also of course incorporated. These games allow you to personalize and modify your avatar or online character to be either a more realistic or idealized version of yourself and the situations you face or whom you would like to meet. The physical features, dress and personality of the avatar can be modified. 3D sex games allow you to not only modify the superficial aspects of the avatar but also to add other complexities. For instance, you can adjust body weight and vary the size or shape of various parts of the body. Less time is wasted because persons can simply chose to do what is enjoyable for them. The most popular 3d sex games appear to be hentai or japanese anime games. These may feature original characters or popular characters from manga. Some of these games are scenario based and offer more instantaneous sexual content whereas others involve role playing and a background story which must be adhered to and participated in to get to the sexual content. The types of sexual content varies as well from simply dirty talking to oral and other types of sex. Those with an anime background will feature recognizable features and characters of the animation itself, the only difference for the most part being the expanded sexual content. In the online gaming world 3d sex games definitely take the fun to another level. A player can chose and change the view or angle that he or she is looking from. It gives the impression that the player is in a virtual world and very much a participant in what is going on. This adds to the fun but also adds to the need for strict adherence to restrictions on the access of these games by minors. Some of the content is extremely graphic and violent although there are many options for 3d sex games that do not contain as much of that sort of content. Also, the same cautions apply to meeting individuals through these games as through chat rooms and other mediums. Therefore, while 3d games may blur the line between the virtual world and reality it is important that players be responsible adults at all times.

         
    Play adult pc games

     

    One can go from chatting to using sex toys and the other capabilities and features that are provided. Games are simply another method of bringing together persons with common interests whether that be an interest in sex or some other intimate relationship or simply the desire to have fun. Adult pc games can provide an anonymous, discreet way to meet new people or interact with ones you already know. It can be a safe way to flirt and interact if used responsibly, as with all things. These adult pc games are said to attract more men then women because of the sexual content. However, over time these games are being modified to appeal to wider cross-section of the online game market. Many women play online games and usually like games that allow them to role play or engage in a more long-term type relationship with the other characters in the game. Men may like direct challenges a bit more and there are many shorter adult pc games which also include various background situations such as a battleground etc. Also 3d adult pc games are available that make the simulations of real-life situations seen even closer to reality than ever before. Avatars can be modified to look like the person playing the game if he or she so choses. The physical features, dress and personality of the avatar can be changed. The player has as much control as he or she wants so no one is forced to do anything they don't want to. Some adult pc games are so close to the real world that they even simulate the consequences of the actions of the participants. Others argue that these games provide an outlet for person who have desires that cannot be acted out in real life. Animations for instance, no matter how real they look, underscore the fact that these are just fantasies. Some even delve further away from reality by involving aliens and mythical creatures. Adult pc games are nothing new. Online games have had sexual content, whether blatant or simply suggestive, for years. The difference with the relatively new group of online games is that the sexual content is at the forefront of the game. It is essentially the point of the game. This makes use of the previously known fact that sex sells. It also taps into the adult online gamers market, taking away the childish stigma that online games are childish. These games are not for children. Instead they leave adults free to enjoy themselves through games in a completely adult way. Therefore, the same restrictions that are placed on porn and other adult entertainment applies to adult pc games. The aim is to have fun, but to have fun as responsible adults.

         
    Play online adult games

     

    Not only can you participate in the action, play with real persons and control what goes on but you can do it from the comfort of your home in a way that seems more real than ever before. Online adult games are attractive diversions even for persons who do not generally like online games due to their impersonal nature. New levels and types of interaction are being made available in an attempt to simulate the real world as best as possible. Devices such as webcams and microphones can be used in some games to interact with the characters or with the other real players. Traditional devices such as they keyboard and mouse are also of course incorporated. In fact, these games can be classified as traditional games that we all love with a sexual component. The sexual component can be, and usually is, the focal point of the game or it can be a side, teaser component. To each his own. These games allow you to personalize and modify your avatar or online character to be either a more realistic or idealized version of yourself, situations or whom you would like to meet. The physical features, dress and personality of the avatar can be modified. Online Adult games allow you to not only modify the superficial aspects of the avatar but also to add other complexities. For instance, you can adjust body weight and vary the size or shape of various parts of the body. Less time is wasted because persons can simply chose to do what is enjoyable for them. 3d versions of these games are even more life-like and add to the attraction of these games. The most popular online adult games appear to be hentai or japanese anime games. These may feature original characters or popular characters from traditional manga. Some of these are scenario based and offer more instantaneous sexual content whereas others involve role playing and a background story which must be adhered to and participated in to get to the sexual content. The types of sexual content varies as well from simply dirty talking to oral and other types of sex. Due to the number of games available persons can choose the level of violence or graphic sexual content that the game has. In essence, they can chose according to their liking. Online games have had sexual content, whether blatant or simply suggestive, for years. The difference with the relatively new group of online games is that the sexual content is essentially the point of the game. This allows game makers to tap into the adult online gamers market, while taking away the stigma that online games are childish. Persons who do not want to engage in this do not have to play them and there are safeguards that can be setup on personal home computers so minor cannot access them. These games are not for children. Instead they enable adults to enjoy themselves through games in a completely adult way.

         
    Play online sex games

     

    These games mirror the makeup of traditional online games. They simply add a sexual component to the various types of games made available to be enjoyed online. Some are Massively Multiplayer Online Virtual Sex Games, in which several real players can participate and actual cyber-sex can be had in various positions. One can go from chatting to using sex toys and the other capabilities and features that are provided. Or one can stop at chatting if he or she so wishes. Online sex games are simply another method of bringing together persons with common interests whether that be an interest in sex or some other intimate relationship or simply the desire to have fun. These games can provide an anonymous, discreet way to meet new people or interact with ones you already know. These online sex games are said to attract more men then women because of the sexual content. However, over time these games are being modified to appeal to wider cross-section of the online game market. Also 3d online sex games are available that make the simulations of real-life situations seen even closer to reality than ever before. Avatars can be modified to look like the person playing the game if he or she so choses. The player has as much control as he or she wants so no one is forced to do anything they don't want to. Some online sex games are so similar to the real world that they even simulate the consequences of the actions of the participants. Others argue that these sex games provide an outlet for person who have desires that cannot be acted out in real life. This may be a way for them to release certain thoughts or actions which are best not enacted in reality. Online sex games can be bought or downloaded via the internet. They can also be accessed online via websites that host the games, some even for free. Among the most popular online sex games are hentai japanese anime games. These may feature popular anime characters or original characters. Some of these online sex games are scenario based and offer more instantaneous sexual content whereas others involve role playing and a background story which must be adhered to and participated in to get to the sexual content. The types of sexual content varies as well from simply dirty talking to oral and other types of sex. Animations for instance, no matter how real they look, underscore the fact that these are just fantasies. Some even delve further away from reality by involving aliens and mythical creatures. Due to the number of games available persons can choose the level of violence or graphic sexual content that the game has. In essence, they can chose according to their liking. The online gaming industry is aiming to please and is no doubt fulfilling what they recognized was a desire for sexually oriented online gaming. Persons who do not want to engage in this do not have to play them and there are safeguards that can be setup on personal home computers so minor cannot access them.

         
    Porn addiction who me

     

    How do you know if you’re addicted to porn? Answer the question, “Can you take it or leave it?” If the answer is no, if porn has become a regular part of your life and if you plan your day around it—you have a problem! A porn addict may tell himself, “Every man is into porn.” That’s not true, every man is not. The porn addiction will affect every area of the porn addict’s life but the most devastation is in his relationship with himself and his relationship with others. An addict is filled with self-hatred, guilt, shame and fear. A porn addict isn’t a bad person but a person in pain. Often the addict has been sexually abused or suffers from other unhealed childhood wounds. Porn is used as an escape from stress, fear, loneliness, emptiness, and rejection. Relationships suffer because a porn addict spends more time online with the porn addiction than with his family or friends. He experiences “being in a trance” where several hours spent online seem like several minutes. Meanwhile those who love him and want to have time with him feel ignored, angry, unimportant and neglected. There is no love, honor, dignity, intimacy or commitment involved in online porn and cybersex. Porn addicts also set themselves up for unrealistic expectations in their personal intimate relationships leading them to being unhappy and unhealthy. The shame, guilt and deceit that stems from porn addiction is often paralyzing. The results of this behavior leave a porn addict with feelings of regret, self-pity and humiliation. Without help he will feel depressed and experience lack of enthusiasm and passion for life. Pornography is all about fantasy, an escape from reality. Reality is life and relationships are hard work. It takes continuous effort to be in an intimate and nurturing relationship with a partner and family. When a porn addict commits to change and becomes 100% responsible for his life he learns to build relationships on commitment, caring and mutual trust. Unlike sex in porn, the sex in healthy relationships is all about love.

         
    Porn is not all bad

     

    Have you ever tried watching BDSM videos? Wikipedia. org defines BDSM as “bondage, discipline, dominance and submission, sadism and masochism.” For laymen, you can call it extreme porn. This is the where you see men and women tied and forced into doing something. And oh, if you’re wondering, yes, studies show that a lot of people like exhibitionism. In a study conducted by Kath Albury and Catharine Lumby of the University of Sydney found out there is a variety of people who buys porn movies – men and women, married, married and single individuals, they live in cities and in the country and are atheists, Buddhists and Anglicans. As a matter of fact, almost all types of people like purchasing adult material. So what then of the public debates and discussions for and against pornography? So many researches have tried defining what pornography with some people trying to put a distinction between erotica and pornography. Academicians, lawyers, women and even the church, all have tried defining it and specifying its characteristics and all have failed to provide a satisfactory answer. Some say pornography is violent and immoral while the Webster dictionary defines it “the depiction of erotic behavior intended to cause sexual excitement”. The Kama Sutra contains illustrations which can me considered as astonishing for conventional couples. It is also considered as the basis for BDSM. Sex is the most basic of all necessities. Some people might argue that it is too much for private viewing. That it is too cinematic. But the truth is, a lot of people like the feeling of being forced. Yes the irony of it. People like not being in control all the time. Perhaps that’s why people get hooked with porn – because it allows them to explore a different universe that our modern society would not. Have you ever tried to chat to a sexy woman live? Do you like looking at sexy babes on web cam? It doesn’t matter whether you are male or female. That’s what’s great with pornography, it features live adult cam and you don’t need to go running to hide your face. This is perhaps the most open-minded forum where natural is emphasized. Have you ever seen women appearing in porn with unnatural breasts? How does it make you feel? Yes, people gets aroused by the real thing, so it doesn’t matter if you have small boobs as long as you have the real deal. Despite the many press releases regarding the spread of pornography, it was found that people who like porn movies don’t usually use often, not for sexual excitement and sexual gratification. Sure it feels good to be in a state of a sexual excitement but people say that they use it to feel better – to be distracted from work, or to fight against depression.

         
    Practical sex solutions a real life better sex memo

     

    Have you ever thought to yourself, "My sex life would be so much better if my partner was a just little more/less _________"? Yes, you have. It's happened. Human beings are all unique, with all sorts of physical and psychological variations that aren't always ideal for the ultimate sex life. Don't despair, however! Technology has brought us leaps and bounds forward in the search for sexual pleasure. Sex toys are no longer limited to cheap, plastic, phallic-shaped things. There is a wide variety of fun, useful products designed to improve our personal, loving sex lives and strengthen our relationships. So if the man of your dreams just happens to be a little under par in the size department, or you find yourself wanting more than he can give, it doesn't mean you can't have ultimately satisfying sex. Read on… Problem 1: "He's too small" There are a few solutions to this problem, if indeed this is a problem at all. Many men who are below average size-wise have learned to use other parts of their body to their partner's grateful benefit. But if his little guy just isn't satisfying you, there are quite a few things to try. First, try different positions: let him take you from behind while you squeeze your legs together, or lie on your back with your knees at your chest and your feet over his shoulders. These positions allow deeper penetration, tighten your vaginal canal and increase sensation for both of you. You can also have him try a penis enhancer. These come in all sizes and shapes to lengthen, thicken, support, and satisfy whatever need you both may have. Third, work your PC muscles. A good set of Smartballs, an updated version of Ben-Wa balls, will strengthen and tighten your internal muscles. With your vaginal muscles primed and toned, you'll be amazed at how much more you'll feel during sex. Problem 2: "He's too big" Sorry to disillusion you, guys, but bigger isn't always better. A huge member doesn't always guarantee pleasure; it can often cause pain for women with tight or short vaginal canals. The best solution to this problem is lots of foreplay! Spend lots of time getting her excited using your hands or mouth. When she's ready, slather on a healthy dollop of lubricant and ease in slowly. Silicone-based lubes tend to work best for easing the friction of a tight fit. If he's really long, try a set of penis donuts. These fit tightly at the base of the penis so he'll still receive stimulation, but they're wide enough keep him from going further in than she's comfortable with. Some positions to try: her on top, so she's in complete control of penetration and speed. Side-by-side also limits how deeply he can penetrate. Problem 3: "He wants it all the time" If your partner is always after you for sex, and you're never "in the mood," you may be setting yourself up for some serious long-term relationship problems. Try not to think of this as his problem; there are a number of solutions you can enact that can directly affect you. Some things to try: *Make sure you're keeping a healthy sleep schedule – Not enough sleep leads to a reduction in testosterone, the hormone that gives you a healthy libido. *Take active responsibility for your sex drive – Figure out what turns you on, don't leave it to your partner to guess. When you pinpoint what gets you in the mood, do it often, share it with your partner, whatever it takes to enjoy yourself. *Identify and work out issues with your body image – The better you feel about your body, the more likely you are to enjoy sex. This may require a getting a gym membership or scheduling counseling. *Initiate sex, even if you're not in the mood – By taking the reigns, you take control of the situation, which can be a major turn-on for you. You don't even have to go all the way. Oral sex or even manual stimulation will make your partner equally grateful, and can rev up your own lagging libido. *Fantasize – Let your body and mind get in the mood without the pressure of having to perform or please someone else. Find a fun vibrator or other toy help you enjoy your alone time. The more you exercise your libido, the healthier it'll become. Problem 4: "He doesn't want it as much as I do" Biology has set us up for a cruel trick: as we age, a woman's sex drive goes up while a man's libido starts to fall behind. While many women fear this is because they have become less appealing to their partners, in most cases, this couldn't be further from the truth. Here are some things you can do to help yourself out: *Masturbate – When you need to take the edge off, close the door, turn on some music, and spend some quality time with your favorite rabbit vibrator. *Make sure it's sex you're after – Identify whether you're actually craving sex, or if you're looking for love, intimacy, affection, or a stress-reducer. There are other ways of receiving these without depending on sex. *Know your partner's appetites – Learn what turns him on and off. Explore all the options of the things they enjoy, broaden your repertoire of sexual knowledge, and be sure to mix it up. A simple sex swing can make your sex lives seem brand new again. *Utilize the quickie – Sex doesn't always have to be an hour-long excursion. Use lots of lubricant and make the most of whatever time you have. Take an active role in improving your sexual happiness, and you'll find that you both benefit. Life changes over time, and your wants and needs will forwever be fluctuating, so be sure to communicate, work through whatever issues you may have together, and don't be afraid to try new things. Satisfaction comes to those who work at it!

         
     
         
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