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    Tips to cope with the loss of a loved one

     

    Whether it was expected or sudden, the death of a loved one is never easy. The loss of someone close can create tremendous amounts of stress for those affected, causing feelings such as numbness, guilt and anger. But though it may be difficult to manage your feelings after tragedy, there are ways that you can cope. The following stress-relieving tips will help you get through your time of grief: * Take time to mourn. Even though it may be difficult, talk with friends and family about your loved one and about the emotions you're feeling. Participate in memorials to not only honor the deceased, but also to help give you closure and accept the loss. * Don't turn to bad health habits for comfort. Drinking alcohol, overeating or not eating at all will not give your body the nutrients it needs to stay mentally balanced. Besides maintaining a nutritious diet and staying active, some doctors recommend taking a supplement formulated to reduce stress, such as Vital StressX. Developed by CyberWize, Vital StressX contains a combination of herbs, called adaptogens, shown in clinical studies to help your body adapt to stressful conditions, reduce depression and improve sleep. "Emotional loss can be paralyzing. The adaptogens in Vital StressX can help you think more clearly and put things in perspective so that much of the worry, sadness and sleeplessness will not be so overwhelming," said Dr. Robert D'Amico, a medical practitioner and researcher in Tarpon Springs, Fla. * Get it out on paper. Write a letter to your loved one who passed away, explaining how you're feeling and the characteristics and moments that you'll never forget about the person. * Take steps to help others. Selfless actions, such as giving blood, can help give you a sense of purpose at a time when things seem out of your control. * Believe that you will get through your loss. By taking things one day at a time, you will begin to heal knowing that, though a special person has passed, your love for the person will live on.

         
    Turn holiday hassles into holiday happiness

     

    : All too often we look forward to the Holidays only to become overwhelmed, stressed out and ultimately lose our joy. Here are a few things you can do to stay in the spirit of the season and enjoy it to its fullest. First, ask yourself and your immediate family, how would you most enjoy celebrating the holidays? This question will help you figure out what is most important to you about celebrating the holidays. It will also help you determine if you may be stressing yourself with false guilt, "should do's" and fears of disappointing others. Take some time to talk with your family about what is really important to you and to them. Often times when we stop to ask the "how question" we discover what we thought was important to others really is not. Next, begin looking at your schedule. Do you realistically have the time to do all the things you would like to and still maintain your sanity! Start by penciling in events on your calendar to help yourself manage your time effectively. Include things like decorating, cooking, shopping and wrapping gifts. Be willing to compromise. For example if you have your heart set on decorating your house like Clark Griswald in "Christmas Vacation," but time is of the essence, consider something simpler or eliminate something else. Avoid perfectionist tendencies. For example: you want 12 ounce disposable cups for your party. But, when you get to Wal-Mart you can only find 8 ounce cups. Consider the time, energy and frustration you will expend traveling to other stores, in the holiday traffic, to find those 12 ouncers! Finally, to turn holiday hassles into happiness you can do some very practical things like: set a budget and stick to it, pay in cash and avoid the New Years credit card blues and choose recipes you can prepare ahead of time. However, if you really want to make holiday memories this year focus on relationships rather than activities. Consider giving the gifts of kindness and service.

    And keep your mind on the Reason for the Season...celebrate Jesus Christ, the greatest gift of all!

         
    Understand work stress burnout and take control today

     

    You may be experiencing the symptoms of work stress burnout even if you are as young as 25- 30 years of age, though most people affected are in their early 40’s. Some people experience a sudden grief and loss, while others perceive that something is changing but it may take several years to manifest. Are you feeling a lack of personal achievement and satisfaction at work? This is one of the early warning signs. Is going to work a time-consuming drudgery and work itself a day-long bore? Do frustration levels increase exponentially as you grapple with life issues - which could show that you are not in control? If so, you're not alone. You're on the downhill slide to work stress burnout. Don’t expect your spouse or boss to understand what you are going through, as burnout is extremely personal in nature – you’re having the crisis, not them! You may be led to blame your spouse or boss for the way you’re feeling, as they seem to be the closest source of your pain and angst. However if your condition is true work place burnout then you will need professional help to shift your perceptions into a more realistic balance. There are emotional and physical symptoms associated with what you are going through. Emotional symptoms of stress at work… The emotional symptoms usually show up as the first sign of burn out. You may often feel an unrelenting stress, lack enthusiasm, have a sense of loss of control as well as experience an unexplainable grief. You may want to blame those around you for the way you feel, but this rarely resolves the inner turmoil that you are experiencing. In severe cases of work stress burnout people experience thoughts of suicide, and even in mild cases the thought of total detachment through this means may seem to be a way out. Many people who experience the emotional symptoms often show up at the doctor seeking help with a loss of spark in their personality. “Nothing I do is worth it anymore,” they say. This feeling often results in a loss of productivity and creativity. It also fuels negativity and cynicism, with a quickness to get angry and blame others. Over time you may find solace in detaching yourself from others, however this rarely resolves the issue. Physical Symptoms that accompany job stress… Work stress burnout also affects your body. The feeling of “never being able to do enough” may drive you to work extensively long hours in an effort to catch up. Physical exhaustion may take the form of headaches, physical shaking from head to foot, inability to think clearly and being unable to relax. Physical exhaustion also causes you to lose your natural communication ability, so communication between your spouse and children, your boss or co-workers may sometimes become explosive. There is also the possibility of experiencing gastrointestinal problems as your body is unable to cope with extensively long hours of work. Is there a solution? Yes there is. You need to gather information and make a lifestyle change. Here are 3 resources you can use: 1. The American Institute of Stress: Many studies have proven beyond any doubt that stress affects your mind AND body. This site is "Dedicated to Advancing Our Understanding of: (1)The Role of Stress in Health and Illness, (2) The Nature and Importance of Mind-Body Relationships, and (3) Our Inherent and Immense Potential for Self-Healing." Stress. org 2. The Job Stress Network: Everybody gets stressed at work. Although there are many good methods for quick stress relief (see resource #1), sometimes it is important to get information on work stress in particular. This can help you cope with your job better. As stated on the website, "The purpose of this site is to bring together, for public dissemination, information about and related to Job Strain (specifically) and Work Stress (in general)." WorkHealth. org 3. Free 50 page report with stress relief tips and techniques: This site has not only free quality information on dealing with stress but several free online books which can help you set up proper mental attitudes to deal with stress. Take a peek at InstantStressManagement/stress. htm You can add few simple tips for managing your work stress from the 50 page free report and in no time you will feel better. Whatever you choose to do. Practice regularly and you will feel a major difference in your relationship with work and stress.

         
    Unhappy at work a change is coming

     

    We all can’t be astronauts, professional athletes, dolphin trainers or test pilots -- some of us have to work for a living. I’m not implying that the people in those professions don’t actually work, I’m suggesting that some jobs might not seem like work. Unfortunately, I don’t have one of those jobs and I’m guessing you don’t either. For the majority of us, work is a daily grind of repeating the same repetitive task day after day, month after month, year after year while spending eight or more hours a day with arrogant bosses and surly co-workers. There is, however, hope for us drones. A change is coming. It may not be today, tomorrow or even this year, but your present situation will change. It has to, it’s the law. Okay, maybe not the law, but it is a law. It’s known as 'The Universal Law of Impermanence', which states that everything changes. Some change comes rapidly and some change takes eons, but eventually everything changes. You could find another job, get a promotion or transfer, or maybe your unfair boss or troublesome colleague will leave. Eventually the situation will change -- it has to. Confucius said “Find a job you love and you’ll never have to work another day in your life.” If that sounds good to you, you probably don’t want to wait eons for it to occur. Buddhism teaches us that we can either wait for the change to occur naturally, or we can initiate the change. It’s the difference between taking control of our lives or leaving it all up to the whim of the universe. How much time have you spent actually trying to improve your situation? Sure, complaining is easy but it accomplishes very little. Have you actually looked for another job? Have you tried to improve your skills through in-house training, adult learning centers, books or correspondence courses? If none of these options are available to you, have you tried creating a better relationship with your boss and co-workers? Even the smallest step in the right direction is progress. There is no one solution that is perfect for everyone -- we all have unique situations, but if we are persistent and creative enough there are always options available to begin the process of change. Some people believe that finding happiness at work is as elusive as finding the Holy Grail, but how will you know until you’ve really tried? You can help speed up the process of change or you can wait for it to occur naturally. Either way, a change is coming -- it’s a law.

         
    Use meditation to relieve stress

     

    Meditation is a form of alternative medicine that promotes relaxing and mental calmness through the use of controlling or suspending thoughts for a certain period of time. Since meditation involves physical and mental relaxation, it's a great way to relieve stress. When some people hear about meditation as a way to relieve stress, they laugh and think it's a bunch of baloney. They think that meditation is not a viable solution to eliminating stress. But research has shown that meditation works and is a practical technique for stress management. The most notable research on meditation's usefulness in relieving stress was done in 1968 by Dr. Herbert Benson of Harvard University. He conducted a series of experiments on popular meditation techniques and published his findings in the book "The Relaxation Response." He discovered that meditation has a "real effect on reducing stress and controlling the fight-or-flight response." Dr. Benson wrote that meditation increased the skin's resistance to damage or infections, slowed the heartbeat and breathing rate, and reduced oxygen consumption. Meditation is all about consciously relaxing your mind and body for a period of time. Meditation means that you need to focus inwardly so that your mind is basically so busy concentrating on breathing and body form that there's no time to think about the events that are causing you stress. The act of meditation is actually quite simple to do. Meditation does not require you to be a mystic or to be very spiritual. Meditation is something that anyone can do almost anywhere. When you prepare yourself for meditation, be sure to set aside a certain amount of time where you're guaranteed not to be interrupted. Meditation doesn't require hours of practicing at a time for it to be effective in reducing stress. Practicing meditation is ten - or twenty-minute time slots is definitely good enough. Effective meditation requires that you're in a comfortable, quiet environment. This means that when you practice meditation, you should make sure that you're wearing comfortable, unrestrictive clothing. The atmosphere temperature (whether you're indoors or outdoors) should also be comfortable for you in order to make your meditation session as stress fighting as possible. Stress-relieving meditation is all about concentration. Once you're fully comfortable (you can sit or lie down) close your eyes. Focus your attention of your breathing throughout your entire meditation session. Count your breaths. You can even say the numbers out loud to discourage your mind from wandering to other thoughts. Another way to control wandering thoughts when you're in a meditation session is to use imagery. Imagery is very popular in meditation. All you have to with imagery is focus on something you consider refreshing or pleasant. Music is also a popular way to help mind concentration during meditation. You can do a monologue hum. Or you can use some soothing music that features plenty of nature sounds. The key to meditation is mind control. When you learn to control your mind, you can control your thoughts, and you'll be able to better control the functions of your muscles. Sometimes it takes a bit of time to learn not to let your mind wander to other thoughts while you're in a meditation session. But once you've mastered meditation, you'll discover you'll be able to do it almost anywhere to relax when you're feeling overwhelmed with stress.

         
    Using meditation to help you to reduce stress

     

    Do you feel that you are constantly under stress? Are you looking into ways of how you can reduce your stress levels? If you have answered yes to both of these questions, you are not alone. The world is seemingly becoming faster, more demanding and more pressurised. In this article I write about how meditation can help you to relax and become a happier person. Stress affects people in different ways. I personally feel very tired and lethargic during these periods and start to worry about things, like a future event. This can easily lead me into a period of depression, which in the past I have found it very difficult to come out of. Other people suffer from panic attack attacks, become very shaky and nervous, feel sick in the stomach, become sad and can begin to think in a very negative way. Most of the conditions I have described above are actually a mental and not so much of a physical problem. This is why I believe meditation to be an excellent form of stress relief or stress management. Meditation helps us to control our emotions, to think in a more relaxed and positive way and certainly helps us to think more clearly. Positive effects of meditation: It reduces your heart rate It relaxes your breathing and can even make it slower It can lower blood pressure It can increase your self-esteem by making you think in a more positive way Helps you to think in a more logical and clear way Helps you to reduce stress Types of meditation: Walking meditation Mandala meditation Yoga meditation Sitting meditation Prayer meditation Visualisation meditation I personally prefer the sitting meditation. I try to make time around three of four times a day when I will sit down to meditate. Originally I had a lack of belief about what I was doing and about if it would work. I found it difficult at this stage to get myself into the zone. With practice and realising that I needed this to work for me, I managed to get enough concentration and focus to see the full benefits. A lot of the people in my circle of friends think that I am a bit mad. They can not believe that I actually just sit there and think. Meditation has had such a positive effect on my life and continues to do so, therefore my friends can mock as much as they like. I actually believe that some of them should try it themselves but they always laugh at the suggestion. This is something I now do on a daily basis and it works. Give it a go with belief and I am sure it will benefit you to. Steve Hill

         
    Ways for coping with anger

     

    Anger is a real problem in today’s society, and for this reason it is important that we learn how to cope with anger issues. Everyone at some time or another in their lives has experienced anger and perhaps even lashed out in anger. Anger is a natural emotion, because we all get hurt, aggravated, insulted, or feel threatened from time to time. Anger can be your greatest ally or your greatest foe. For example, if we feel threatened by another person and we express our anger in a controlled way, the outcome can be favorable. Conversely, if we get out of control, the situation can escalate and become worse than it was before. Having control of our emotions assists us in life by protecting us and being successful. We are better equipped to handle crisis situations when they occur, such as a financial predicament or medical emergency. However, if we allow our anger to get the better of us, we put our health and well-being at risk. It is not uncommon for someone to ignore the problem in dealing with anger. The person might be in denial of any negative behavior he or she has exhibited. Denial is a big reason why some people never deal with their problems, or their anger. Another reason is that acceptance of mental health issues has never really occurred. Mental health experts often debate over the pros and cons of diagnosis. They will inform the patient that diagnosing their condition is only creating a label that can put the patient into struggle. I disagree with this because it is important that a person know what is wrong with them before they can deal with the problem effectively. Diagnosis can lead to acceptance. Another problem is that a person is misdiagnosed several times before a professional finally figures out what the problem really is, which can cause stress and confusion for the individual. Knowing the origin often makes it easier to deal with the problem. Anger is an emotion that has been created by some type of force, person, or situation. If this problem is allowed to continue untreated, it only gets worse. A person can only take so much before they blow their top at some point. Other problems come from mental health issues, excessive alcohol consumption, or even drugs. Not everyone with anger problems has a problem with alcohol and/or drugs, but in some instances, it is an added problem that requires professional attention. Similarly, not everyone with mental health issues is an alcoholic or drug addict, and not everyone with a mental health issue has anger issues. The problem then is concealed within the mind. Somewhere in the lifetime of the person, their emotions were broken up. Somewhere in the person’s life he or she was not given the tools to deal with emotions effectively. Emotions are complicated and they can sap the life from a person. Therefore, when we know how to cope with our anger and other emotions, we are on a path to success. Nothing feels more gratifying than feeling a sense of control and personal achievement. It is vital to seek help and find someone that can be trusted, in order to for a person with anger issues to deal properly with those emotions. Our behavior and reactions are based on environment, functions, and attitudes. When we are in an environment that is not good, then it is time get out of that situation. Bad relationships limit our growth. Surrounding yourself with positive people can benefit your behaviors. Functions are the processes we all deal with daily. When our body and mind are not performing together in a healthy way, we are going to lose control. Our attitudes contribute to anger in that if we are thinking negatively, negative things will likely happen. Therefore, by practicing positive thinking, you will improve your life and be better able to manage your emotions and feelings, including anger. The best ways for coping with anger depend on the situation and people involved.

         
    We all need more patience now

     

    Patience is often the most confusing of virtues. For one thing, many people don’t realize that patience is learned! It doesn’t come naturally for most of us. Here are three areas in which patience really does pay: 1. Goal setting. You’ve heard the saying that anything good is worth waiting for. This doesn’t mean simply sitting and doing nothing, waiting for great things to happen to you. You have to make them happen! When you sit down and write out your goals, give yourself a realistic time frame. Remember, Rome wasn’t built in a day. Set mini-goals within larger goals so you can get a better visual of your progress. You’ll feel motivated by your accomplishments when you see your plan developing. 2. Learning new skills. As we get older, it’s not as easy to learn new skills. We can become discouraged, and feel like giving up. People who have been out of the work force for many years are completely out of the technology loop, and it can be challenging to get up to speed. Having a broken bone is the best lesson in patience. Not that I’m suggesting you do anything dangerous, but in this case patience is born out of necessity. You learn how to do everyday tasks in a different way in order to stay mobile. Taking up a sport, such as karate or yoga, may feel awkward at first but with practice suddenly you feel like a pro. I didn’t get my enchiladas right the first dozen times, but now they are restaurant quality. If I had given up after that initial soggy mess, I don’t know what I would serve at family reunions. 3. Tolerance. Sometimes patience can mean enduring or persevering in a difficult situation. We’ve all had issues with bad drivers or demanding bosses – even dial-up Internet can make our blood pressure go up. But we can use these as opportunities to grow our patience. Instead of screaming at your kids when they’re not ready for school, think of all the times they’ve had to wait on you. Impatience can make people lose their temper and say something they really don’t mean. By contrast, patience promotes peace. In this age of instant gratification, it is increasingly difficult to accept what is out of our power. Learning patience is truly an art. But it is an art worth learning for your own health, happiness, and healing.

         
    What are anger indicators

     

    Here we will sum up the signs of anger, because even though everyone is different, there are certain comparable signs that denote this strong emotion. Sometimes, an angry person will verbally or physically assault others. They are sometimes prone to violent outbursts, often involving hurting others or destroying things. An angry person is often aggressive, and might complain a lot about seemingly everything. They often engage in malicious behavior toward others, retaliating or striking out against others. People who are angry are often antisocial, with an incapability to relate to their peers. Often, they disparage people, say cruel or unkind things, or hurt people to make themselves feel better. Their lack of dealing with the anger problems leads to the inability to trust others. They exhibit suspicious, judgmental, or jealous characteristics toward others. Angry people might try to undermine others, and be disruptive if they do not agree with something. An angry person is not pleasant to be around, and they desperately need help. Recently I heard about a woman that had serious anger problems. For seemingly no reason she would react to what most people would consider minor issues such as a child eating too much or eating something that she envied. Something like this was enough to bring about an irrational reaction. Sometimes she was mild in her acts, and other times she was out of control. In most cases, she had no basis for her behavior; however, there was an underlying source, as is usually the case. The woman did in fact display anti-social behaviors, and she often conveyed odd thinking patterns. For example, she would say that all men are pigs. She also talked about leading men on; leading them down to her basement and having alligators eat them alive. The woman was unbalanced and very ill. Now she was diagnosed with Bipolar – Manic Depression, and Posttraumatic Stress Disorder. After careful examination Posttraumatic Stress was dismissed and the diagnosis was that of exaggerated, anti-social traits. According to her, the cause for her anger was that the many men she had been involved with had mistreated her. This was only part of the reason, and the truth surfaced when she talked more about her life. She had been adopted as a child; therefore, she felt a sense of abandonment. The origin here is understandable, since she most likely resented her parents for giving her up for adoption. Even if the parents’ reasons were valid, she rebuffs when prompted to hear the other side of the story. Since the woman’s symptoms were ongoing, the treatment would probably never work since she was a victim of her own mind and in denial. It was obvious that the woman had anger manifesting in her own behaviors. She performed illegal acts, such as writing bad checks. Therefore, the symptoms she endured were partially of her own choice. She produced her anger and paranoia; therefore her anger is her own responsibility. However, angry people will often undermine others. For example, an angry individual might say something like: try these diet pills; they will help you take off some weight. The angry person is well aware that the other individual has a sore spot about their weight, even though she is normal weight. Therefore, the angry person is trying to disparage the individual by undermining her self-esteem. An angry person will also seek attention and use damaging words. For example, an angry person might say, “I am fat”. The angry person is waiting for you to disagree, and offer compliments. The best thing to do in this situation is to ignore the angry person. Because denial is at the source of the problem, no matter how many times you try to convince the person otherwise, they will not believe you.

         
    What are the negative effects of stress

     

    Stress is the "wear and tear" our bodies experience as we adjust to our continually changing environment; it has physical and emotional effects on us and can create positive or negative feelings. As a positive influence, stress can help compel us to action; it can result in a new awareness and an exciting new perspective. As a negative influence, it can result in feelings of distrust, rejection, anger, and depression, which in turn can lead to health problems such as headaches, upset stomach, rashes, insomnia, ulcers, high blood pressure, heart disease, and stroke. Negative Effects of Stress In prehistoric times, the physical changes in response to stress were an essential adaptation for meeting natural threats. Even in the modern world, the stress response can be an asset for raising levels of performance during critical events such as a sports activity, an important meeting, or in situations of actual danger or crisis. If stress becomes persistent and low-level, however, all parts of the body's stress apparatus (the brain, heart, lungs, vessels, and muscles) become chronically over - or under-activated. This may produce physical or psychologic damage over time. Acute stress can also be harmful in certain situations. Stress-related conditions that are most likely to produce negative physical effects include: 1. An accumulation of persistent stressful situations, particularly those that a person cannot easily control (for example, high-pressured work plus an unhappy relationship). 2. Persistent stress following a severe acute response to a traumatic event (such as an automobile accident). 3. An inefficient or insufficient relaxation response. 4. Acute stress in people with serious illness, such as heart disease. Relieving Stress with a Stress Ball! Stress balls are wonderful for relieving tension and pent up frustration. Many people will find that when they are going through a period of stress they feel the need to do something with their hands. For example some people play with the loose change in their pockets while others make patterns and shapes with their fingers or tap them rhythmically on the tabletop. Stress balls are a cheap alternative to the incessant hand movements that some people find annoying. They can be squeezed over and over again until you feel your nerves calming down because most are made from materials that regain their original shape when they are not being squeezed. So what are you waiting for? We urge you to find out more about how Stress Balls can benefit you today!

         
    What is stress and how to manage stress effectively

     

    For several decades now, researches all over the world have asserted that what goes on in the mind affects the body. Negative thoughts and a negative attitude lead to our feeling low: our heads fall, our shoulders sag, and our breathing becomes shallow. In fact it has been conclusively proved that negative mind trigger off a whole chain of physio-biological reactions, which are designed to make us feel this way. On the other hand, positive thoughts and positive attitudes make us feel good: our heads are held up, we tend to look up, stand taller, breathe deeper and fuller. So you see, the body is directly affected by our mental state. But, consider this: recent research reveals that the body also has the capability of affecting the mind. The way you carry yourself, the way you walk, the way you talk, and the way you project your physical self, affects your attitude and mind to a fairly large extent. If you always stand straight, with your chest held out and breathe deeply, chances are that you will be projecting a positive outlook. On the other hand, if your shoulders are dropped, and you have a crouched back, you are probably passing through a rather dull phase. An interesting and potentially very powerful corollary of this is that we can control our emotions though our bodily actions and postures. Hence, if we want to feel good or positive all we have to do is change our body posture. Though it may vary only slightly from person to person, the overall constituents of a positive frame of mind are more or less the same: Head high, Shoulders pulled back, Deep Breathing, Chest Held Out, and of course the all important SMILE. As Anthony Robbins puts it, “Motion creates Emotion”. The way we move changes, the way we think, feel and behave. The slightest movement of a facial muscle to a rigorous workout can affect our emotions. Even the simple act of smiling can make an enormous difference to your state. Extensive research in this area proves that the act of smiling sets of a biological reaction that affects all parts of the body. It stimulates the heart and the lungs. It increases the flow of blood and oxygen to the brain. The body's excretory organs functions more smoothly clearing the body of harmful toxins. Imagine such a simple act of having such a far-reaching consequences, In fact many doctors are of the opinion that fifteen minutes of lighter laughter on a daily basis, can increase your life span by about 5-10 years. The point is that nothing happens by chance. We have all been created in a very scientific manner. Every gesture, every moment in the body has some purpose – some cause us to feel miserable, doubt our abilities, and curse our luck, while others make us feel good, optimistic and positive about life. We have got to choose the ones we desire.

         
    When change happens dealing with loss and grief

     

    Needless to say, the time after loss is volatile and confusing for most people. Unresolved issues come to the fore and questions we have not answered must often be confronted. Along with a sense of abandonment and sorrow, anger often arises. Most have little understanding of what they are going through, or what to expect in the future. Facing the unknown can produce additional fear. Yet crisis means opportunity. When the process of grief is handled properly suffering can be diminished and symptoms that may appear later, can be forestalled. It is even possible for the individual to grow a great deal during this time and benefit from the experience. The more we understand what we are going through, the less out of control we will feel. At a time like this we need meaning and direction. We need to know what to expect and how to handle the many changes that are happening. The Dynamics of Loss and Grief Each person reacts differently to loss and that is fine. Some feel abandoned, others feel betrayed and afraid. Some reach out for love and comfort, while others withdraw, wanting time alone. Some go into denial and seem not to register the loss that has happened. These individuals are often unconsciously processing what has happened, not ready to face reality yet. They may fear they will be overwhelmed if they allow themselves to register what has gone on. It is best not to pressure a person to react differently. When the individual is accepted for who they are at the moment, it is easier for them to let go, and move on. This entire process takes time. It helps greatly to realize that the pain we go through during grief is normal. It does not mean there is something wrong with us. We need not feel ashamed of or afraid of our feelings. What Happens When We Are Grieving When we are grieving, interest in the outside world subsides, we slow down, sleep more, our social activities seem less meaningful. This is not necessarily bad. An individual may need more time alone. In the process of grieving the individual is contemplating the nature of their lives, coming to terms with the person they’ve lost. They may be reviewing that which was left unsaid or undone. Grief is usually most difficult when the individual has had troubled or incomplete relationship. When there have been unsolved conflicts left behind, this makes it harder to be at peace. Many spend time blaming themselves for what they did or didn’t do. Others blame doctors, helpers, government or family members. Casting blame is a way of removing the guilt and sorrow we feel. The sooner they are able to let go of blame and accusations, the sooner healing begins. Let Go Of Blame Blame, self hate and other forms of anger, are common during grief. Although it is important not to repress anger and disappointment, it is best to feel it and then let it go. Some individuals hold onto anger as a way of keeping connected to the person or situation they have lost. The truth is that anger always keeps us out of balance. It is a poison to the one who holds onto it. Coming To Terms – Steps To Take Ultimately one must reconcile oneself to what happened. Most people do all they can to avoid experiencing their feelings or situation directly. Many fear that if they face their suffering, it will make them feel small and helpless. Actually, the opposite is true. It’s best not to control or resist the feelings. When these feelings are not resisted, they simply come to awareness and then fade away. Feelings that are repressed come out later in different ways, including various physical symptoms, phobias and unwanted behaviors. If we do not address our feelings in one mode, they will appear in another - physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. Hopefully, we come to a point where forgiveness can take place, (forgiveness of the person we’ve lost, forgiveness of ourselves, the universe, or whatever it is we feel anger with). In order to do this, it is deeply helpful to realize that all of life is temporary. People possessions, situations are given to us for a short time. As we acknowledge the transitory nature of life, we can then begin to look deeper and see what it is that we never lose. Through acceptance of reality, of oneself and the other, one develops the power the affirm life, and to grow. One can then give to others, and become a source of inspiration, and live a life that is meaningful. The discovery and experience of value and meaning in one’s life and one’s losses is the most potent healing of all Below are a couple of exercises that are helpful in coming to terms with loss and change. Exercise – Giving Gifts Make a list of the gifts you received from the person you’ve lost - the ways they taught and inspired you. Now find ways to give those gifts to others. As you do so, not only will you be acknowledging what you received from that person, but honoring their memory and keeping their spirit alive. Exercise – It Suffices Whenever you think of the person and the way they fell short, what they didn’t give you, say to yourself, “It Suffices.” This is in recognition that they gave all they could, being who they were, and that you can feel satisfied with what you received. (This is an ancient Buddhist practice) Prayer, Silence And Meditation Of course the deepest sense of healing, peace and security can come from our connection to a higher power or our higher selves. During the process of grieving it is very helpful to be able to connect with that which is ultimately meaningful to you. Our true security comes from discovering a larger purpose in all that happens, and our ability to trust it.. Cc/author/2005

         
    When your at the end of your rope with your anxieties

     

    What do you do when you feel that your at the end of your rope with your anxieties, depression, and fears? During this time, the best thing to do is not to give up and not to lose hope. In the meantime, here is a list of brief techniques that a person can use to overcome your depression, fears, and anxiety. Sometimes we encounter a scary situation that gets us all upset. When encountering these events, always remember to get all of the facts of the given situation. Gathering the facts can prevent us from relying on exaggerated and fearful assumptions. By focusing on the facts, a person can rely on what is reality and what is not. Take it one day at a time. Instead of worrying about how you will get through the rest of the week or coming month, try to focus on today. Each day can provide us with different opportunities to learn new things and that includes learning how to deal with your problems. Focus on the present and stop trying to predict what may happen next week. Next week will take care of itself. Learn how to manage your fearful thoughts that may be difficult to manage. When experiencing a negative thought, read some positive statements and affirmations that help lift your spirits and make you feel better. Remember that your fearful thoughts may be exaggerated so balance these thoughts with realistic thinking and common sense. Some people get depressed and have a difficult time getting out of bed in the mornings. When this happens, a person should take a deep breath and try to find something to do to get their mind off of the problem. A person could take a walk, listen to some music, read the newspaper or do an activity that will give them a fresh perspective on things. Doing something will get your mind off of the problem and give you confidence to do other things. Sometimes, it helps to be able to talk to someone about our stressful situations. Talking to a trusted friend, counselor, or clergyman can not only make us feel better, but they might be able to give you additional advice and insights on how to deal with your current problem. Although I am a layman and not a professional I have interviewed many psychologists and clergyman and I have learned that there are many things a person can do to help manage their fears. Dealing with our persistent fears is not easy, however there are many helpful resources available to us if you look hard enough.

         
    Where to find anger management courses

     

    You may have a Hollywood image of anger management courses based on recent films that depict the encounters in humorous ways. But anger management is actually a serious approach to tackling a difficult problem. Everyone gets angry at times, usually in varying degrees and for differing reasons. But some people seem to have less control than others, and their rage can explode to a damaging or even a dangerous extent. Anger management courses are designed to help those individuals regain control over volatile emotions. Where Do You Find Anger Management Courses? Sometimes uncontrolled anger is a symptom of another, deeper problem. This may be related to the person’s victimization from childhood or adult abuse, a personality disorder, a hormone imbalance, or an unhealthy relationship, just to name a few possible causes. Anger management courses may address just the anger aspect, or they may include education about underlying issues like these. Much will depend on the course’s facilitator or coordinator’s training as to which topics can be covered in the sessions. When larger issues are included, the classes may be called something other than anger management courses for example, they may be termed behavior control classes, or something along those lines. You may want to browse the telephone directory’s yellow pages under sections like emotions, anger control, behavior self-help, and related terms to see what type of groups are meeting in your area. Then you can get in touch with their leaders to find out whether anger management training will be included. Another way to find anger management courses in your area is to contact a social services organization or self-help programs to see if they either sponsor or have information about anger management courses. There is a good chance that one or more of these programs can point you in the right direction. Often, these programs work together, and many of the staff are familiar with sessions offered by other groups. You also may want to contact local churches, YMCA programs, and libraries or civic centers that sponsor related types of self-help classes. If they do not already offer anger management courses, they may be willing to help you organize one, or at least publicize a sign-up sheet to see if there is enough interest to warrant a start-up class. One of the best ways to track key information, people, and locations connected to anger management courses is by doing an Internet search. Use Yahoo or another search engine to visit anger management websites that can provide tips on recognizing warning signs, self-help practices, and finding clinical support. Check out sites like anger-management-information to learn more about this potentially devastating condition that affects not just your life, but the lives of others with whom you live, work, and socialize. Enrolling in anger management courses reflects well on your willingness to take responsibility for your actions and become proactive in dealing with anger issues. Take advantage of the many types of anger management assistance that are available to those who make time to explore the available options.

         
    Why do i always feel so angry

     

    We have all asked ourselves this question at one time or another. There is no easy way to answer it, but rather to look deep into your own mind and try to find the answers. It is impossible to be fully in control of your life, because we all have constraints and rules that we have to follow. This fact might cause anger for you, perhaps due to experience with a very strict or rigid parent or other authority figure. We all have commitments to uphold, rules to follow, people to deal with, and bad situations to live through. Anger can occur for many reasons, but it is very important to learn how to cope with your anger. You can either let your anger be destructive, or you can work through it and become a happier, more stable person. Anger is inevitable. It is best to learn effective coping mechanisms, rather than to let anger overtake you and adversely affect you and those in your life. Anxiety and depression are commonly associated with those who experience a great deal of anger. There are ways to treat these problems that might get you on a road to more balance. For example, if you suffer from anxiety attacks, try consulting a therapist, who can prescribe a treatment called Buspirione, which treats anxiety with minimal side effects. And if you suffer with Depression, your therapist can prescribe one of many serotonin-specific reuptake inhibitors that carry virtually no risks. You might also want to consider the natural route. Something like Kava Kava is a great herbal remedy for relieving stress and anxiety. In addition, regular exercise and a healthy diet can help to offset the effects of these disorders. Start off slowly, and build up to a regular routine that fits into your schedule. Getting healthy will renew your attitude, which will help to control your anger. Another great way to deal with anger is by writing down your feelings, frustrations, and thoughts. You can return to them, reread them, and think about them, which can help you deal with the issues. If you are a parent, you know that children can grate on your nerves. If this is a problem for you, consider getting away for a bit to regenerate. Consider having a trusted family member or a friend watch them for a few hours, or a few days, so that you can get away and regroup. Do something that you enjoy. Go for a walk, go shopping, anything that helps you to relax. Keeping in check with your emotions helps to prevent angry outbursts that can have adverse effects on your children. You will be a better parent for it in the end. Whenever you do something well, or perform a good deed, reward yourself. This promotes a positive attitude about you. On the other hand, if you make a mistake, do not beat yourself up about it. Remind yourself that you are human and that humans make mistakes. Try to learn from your mistakes and move forward. Also, do not let others be down on you. Let them know if someone is not being fair, or treating you poorly. There are many solutions to treating anger in your life. You have to take the first step. If you can get control of your anger, you will have control of your life as well.

         
     
         
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